Page 80 of The Summer Escape

“I can’t give you impartial advice about this.”

“Tell me what you’re thinking.” Squeezing his hand, she pleaded with her eyes.

“I’m thinking that I’d like it if you always had a reason to come back here. But you need to do what feels right for you.”

“I don’t know what to do.” Anger bubbled inside of her. “I feel as though I never know what to do any more. Every decision I make, I want to run it by my mum and I can’t. I don’t have anyone to help me figure things out and I hate it.”

Trystan rubbed her back and she nestled into him, resting her head against his chest. “I think you’re better at figuring things out for yourself than you think.”

“Sorry,” she sniffed. “It’s my last day here and I’m wasting it.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I feel as though I am. I’m sitting here being miserable when I should be enjoying the time with you.”

“Well, that’s a good point.” He tilted his head as he leaned towards her and she felt the familiar flutter of butterflies dancing in her stomach as their lips met.

When she finally peeled herself away from him, Trystan’s features were deadly serious.

“Can I see you again?” he asked. “Once we get back to real life. I don’t know how it would work, but I hate the thought of not seeing you.”

“I feel the same,” she whispered, clutching his hand. “While I’m here with you it seems impossible that we won’t see each other again. But I’ve no idea what’s going to happen when we’re back home. I need to get Ellie back into a routine and figure out what I’m going to do for work. And while we’re busy falling back into our routines in Plymouth, you’ll be doing the same in London. Once you’re caught up in the grind of real life, who knows what you’ll want.”

He rested his head against hers. “I’m fairly certain I’ll still want to be with you.”

“You can’t know that for definite until you’re away from this lovely little bubble we’ve created. Everything is easy here because we’re on holiday. It’s not real life. After a few weeks at home, everything will feel different.”

“I don’t think I’ll feel any different, but there doesn’t seem to be much point arguing about it.”

“Let’s just wait and see what happens.”

He kissed the side of her head. “Did you finish packing?”

“Almost.” She checked her watch, realising she needed to hurry and make sure she had everything organised before dinner.

Standing, she hugged her mum’s ashes to her chest and they set off back to the house in silence. As she squeezed the urn into the suitcase, Beth felt a pang of regret over not having the courage to scatter them.

By the time she’d finished with the packing, chatter drifted up to her through the bedroom window. Her heart felt heavy when she looked down at the Trenearys gathered on the patio. Ellie’s face was gleeful as Noah held her upside down on the grass. Her gentle giggles morphed to a high-pitched squeal when Keira tickled her.

As though he could sense her watching, Trystan broke his conversation with Kit and Seren to look up at her. Opening the window, she told him she’d be down soon, then moved to sit on the bed. Going downstairs and pretending her heart wasn’t breaking at the thought of leaving felt overwhelming, and being surrounded by so much love and laughter would only serve to highlight the lack of it when they returned to real life.

After a few minutes she shook herself out of her pity and set off down to enjoy their last evening. Music hit her ears halfway down the stairs and she found Trystan and Ellie dancing around the kitchen.

“I was about to come up and find you,” Trystan said. “Are you all organised?”

“I think so.”

Ellie’s skirt fanned around her when she twirled on one foot. “I washed the train with Kit,” she said proudly.

“I’ll bet he was glad of the help,” Beth said, then burst out laughing as Trystan took her in his arms and danced her around the room.

Ellie stared up at them. “Kit says we can have a water fight after dinner. He’s got water guns. I’m going to choose the one I want.” She ran out of the kitchen to join the others outside.

“We should go out too,” Beth said half-heartedly.

Trystan continued to waltz her around the room. “After this song.”

She touched her cheek to his, inhaling his scent and attempting to commit every detail of the moment to memory. When the song came to an end he kissed her softly, then led her outside and straight into a discussion between Seren and Kit about how long to cook steaks for.