Page 28

Arden

“I’m not scared.”

Bear loudly barks in rebuttal, needlessly adding to my dizzy spell.

“Why would I be scared?”

Another woof.

“I can do this.”

Two more.

“I can totally fucking do this!”

Bear repeats the sound as if stringing an entire sentence together prompting an unpredicted voice to state, “I agree, Bear. She can do this.” Tanner casually appears in the doorway to my bathroom. “However, I too do not believe she should do it alone.”

The huff that escapes indicates that’s exactly what he was trying to communicate.

“Which is why I’m here.” He suddenly reveals a giant yellow stuffed duck. “With reinforcements.” Excitement instantly rips through my dog’s gaze pushing my not not boyfriend to frantically shake his head. “ Ah. Ah. ” A motion with his fingers is made demonstrating he still remembers some of our signing lessons. “ No. ” Moving the object further away only seems to intrigue him more. “ This ducky is for Ducky to take into the back with her. He is to be her literal wing man.”

Unhappy huffs have me threatening to smile.

“ Your duck is on your bed.” Tanner motions his head behind him. “ Go. ”

Bear scurries out of the room leaving us completely alone and me more nervous about what’s happening now than the surgery I’m about to endure in a couple hours.

Maybe because whatever’s happening now is much fucking scarier?

I mean…I got the email.

I not only get to keep my job, I’m getting a fucking promotion.

Don’t love how I got there, but I am grateful for the opportunity.

Less grateful because it means he’s leaving.

That he’s been traded.

And now that he has, we have to decide what that means for us.

“You wearing my number?” he smoothly investigates, spotting the logo on my chest. “You know the rules, Slayer. You only wear my number.”

I roll my eyes and flash him my back, revealing not only his rhinestone decorated number but the sparkling term of endearment. “Done, Hamster Boy.”

“ Bloodyhell ,” Tanner whimpers in a melting fashion, “when did you get that made?”

“The girls all got them made for the watch parties.” Shoving my hands into the central pocket is bashfully done. “But I don’t get to attend the watch parties since I’m actually out on the roadskie with all of you so…” an innocent shrug can’t be helped, “I didn’t really see the point in getting one for me until Joey basically told me it wasn’t about y’all but us . Having a sisterhood. Building a sisterhood. Being a part of one even if I couldn’t openly.” Another bounce of my shoulders is given. “I love being one of the boys but… Idontknow . Joey has this way of making me love being one of the girls too. Like it’s an okay thing to be.”

“It most certainly is,” he encourages with a gentle smile, “ if that’s what you want to be.”

My lips purse to one side in a wordless rebuttal.

“Don’t get me wrong, Arden. I fucking love you being a Slayer and all that it entails; however, I love you for you . And I do not want you to resent me because you believe you have to behave in a way I would never ask.” At that, he steps forward. “I do not want nor expect you to suddenly because whoever it is you think you need to be to be seen with me. I want to be seen with you …the real you …and only the real you. ”

“You mean…” it’s my turn to amble towards him, vertigo seemingly subsiding, “you want us to…stay together?”

“Did you honestly expect otherwise?”

“I don’t know…” escapes at a breathier volume than intended. “I don’t know what to expect now that you’ve been traded.”

“I have not been traded.”

Befuddlement immediately darts my eyebrows down. “Okay, but I haven’t been fired. I’ve…actually been promoted. ”

“I heard.” He lovingly grins. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks.” Tucking a loose strand behind my hearing aid bearing ear coyishly occurs. “It was super fucking unexpected considering the embarrassment I made of myself at the soft launch.” A small bite to my bottom lip is taken. “ And of you. ” Rather than wait for a rebuttal, I merely word vomit up everything I haven’t been able to. “I’m sorry, Tanner.”

Surprise stumbles his lips apart.

“You didn’t deserve the cheap shots I slapped.”

“Agreed.”

“That outburst wasn’t not not about you…but it wasn’t totally not not about you.” The sight of his eyebrows lifting encourages me to continue. “I see the women that constantly throw themselves at you or that you’re photographed with or rumored to be dating and they look exactly like most of the women in the league who are married to players and knowing I don’t look like that or that I’ll ever look like that and that I’ll ever fit in with them just got the better of me. And instead of rationally trying to explain it, I went on the D. Set myself up to take the penalty versus letting you see how much the idea of being left because I’m not like that scares me.”

“You always choose the hard route,” leaves him a mirthful tone.

“Not always.”

“Always.”

“Not not always.”

“See.” He lightly chortles. “It’s in your nature to constantly be on the defensive to the point being on the offensive is so uncomfortable that you will go out of your way just to return to the defensive even if it means locking me out of my own home.”

“That’s not… not …true.”

“Again,” the stuffed animal is placed on the double sink counter near what’s become his side, “you illustrate my point.” Tanner adoringly plants his palms on my hips. “I choose you , Arden.” The flexing of his fingers traps me in place. “And I’ll always choose you. Over bunnies. Over contracts. Over good press. Over hockey itself because you matter to me more than any of those things combined.” He cranes his face a little closer to mine. “I love you. And that will not change whether I’m in Dalvegan or Camelot or Highland or Florida or New York or Finland or Antarctica-”

“They don’t have a hockey team.”

“ Not yet. ” His playful waggles of his brows successfully gets me grinning. “I love you and will keep loving you and keep calling you mine whether we’re in the same city or states apart.”

“Sameskies,” comes out right above a whisper.

“However, I need you to talk to me about things and to know you truly trust me, because if you do not, then no matter how many times I say it or ways I show it, it’ll never be enough.”

There’s no stopping my fingers from gently gliding up his sweatshirt covered chest. “I do trust you.”

“ Then act like it. ”

The forceful response has me clamping my thighs together against my own volition.

ForFuhrsake now is so not the time for that.

Or…maybe it is?

Would it be weird to go into surgery full of him?

“ Trust that you’re the only one I want wearing my number and, ” Tanner unexpectedly drops himself down to one knee, “my last name.”

“ Wh…wh… ”

“ Trust that I’m gonna do what’s best for you …” a white gold ring with an emerald surrounded by smaller diamonds is suddenly presented, “ for us… ” the taking of my left hand occurs next, “the same way Hennington and Blanc and our mates all trust that I’m gonna do what’s best for them. ”

“ I… ”

“ This ring ,” he gingerly begins to slide it in place, “represents our relationship being the crest I am always going to be playing my best for.”

“ Are you…asking me…to…marry you? ”

“No.”

“No?!”

“I’m not not asking though.” Once it’s secured in its spot, our eyes meeting again. “I’m not not asking you to spend your life with me. I’m not not asking you be at my side – with our GMs blessing by the way – for awards and signings and parties and retirements and weddings. I’m not not asking you to step into the spotlight as not only my Slayer …but as my wife. ” He gives my knuckles a gentle stroke. “Arden Grace Hoss…will you not not marry?”

Tears unexpectedly begin to fill my gaze on a whispered, “ Yes. ”

“Little louder for those in the nosebleeds, please.”

Mirth-filled laughter sends the droplets down my cheeks, “Do not make me change my answer.”

“You won’t.” He slowly rises to his feet. “And I will do everything possible to guarantee I keep this win.” His arm winds around my waist prompting my hands to fold themselves together at the nape of his neck. “Just like I’ll do everything possible to keep them in the barn.”

Our lips swiftly smash together, allowing our tongues to edaciously touch, scribbling our signatures on what is undoubtedly the deal of a lifetime for us both.