Page 21 of The Story of his Highland Bride (Dancing Through Time #4)
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T he following day, duties took Jackson away from the castle and the short time that he had left with Eloise. To make matters worse, he had not spent the night with her, as he had grown accustomed to; she had asked for an evening alone with her thoughts, and though he had understood, he had missed her presence terribly.
Indeed, it was evening by the time he returned to Castle Faulkner, weary and aching after tending to the collapse of a farmhouse to the east.
“Will ye join me for a dram of somethin’?” he asked Lennox, as the two men left the stables.
Lennox offered an apologetic look, wringing his hands like he had a secret. “I cannae tonight, M’Laird. I have other duties to attend to, but we could have us a wee drink on the morrow, perhaps?”
“Ye’re goin’ to spend the night at Jane’s bedside again, are ye nae?” Jackson could not help but smile, for it had been a long time since he had seen his friend so dedicated to anything other than his work.
Lennox smiled shyly. “She’s been wakin’ more and more, and I daenae want to miss it when she does. I ken I wasnae the man she deserved when we were courtin’ before, but if she’ll have me, I willnae make that mistake again.”
“Go on with ye.” Jackson gave his friend a light shove. “Enjoy her sweet words, if she has any to offer ye.”
Lennox grinned. “I will, M’Laird, and the same to ye.” He tapped the side of his nose. “Daenae think I daenae ken about yer flirtations with Miss Eloise. After all, someone has to guard yer hallway at night, and I wasnae goin’ to let just anyone do it. I wouldn’ae want anyone gossipin’.”
Before he could get a chiding, Lennox darted away from his Laird and disappeared into the castle, leaving Jackson at a loss. His heart wanted to guide him up to Eloise’s chamber, to ask to hear more of her story, and to kiss her until the anguish of what was to come faded into nothing. His mind thought it best if he kept away, until she sent for him.
In the end, his mind won, sending him off in search of the most potent drink he could find. How else was he supposed to endure a long, cold night without her in his arms?
In the distance, church bells chimed out twelve peals, announcing midnight to the slumbering world, as Jackson stumbled up narrow staircase after narrow staircase, climbing his way to Eloise. It had taken hours of diligent drinking to reach the heights of merry, but not quite inebriated, that gave his heart the advantage over his head. Now, just like the witch in the woods had said, he was letting his heart guide him.
Reaching her door, he hesitated for a moment, pressing his ear to the varnished wood. Inside, he heard an odd, scratching sound, accompanied by the gentle hum of Eloise singing something under her breath.
She’s still awake. Maybe, she’s been waitin’ for me. Spurred on by the thought, he knocked.
Within seconds, she answered, greeting him with wide eyes and a confused expression.
“What time do you call this?” she asked, clasping a hand to her chest. “I thought I was going to have to saddle a horse and come looking for you, and you know I don’t like riding alone. I wouldn’t know how to, to be honest. I’d probably just hold on as tightly as possible and hope I didn’t fall off.”
He smiled at her as he stepped over the threshold and pulled her into his arms. “I dinnae ken if ye wanted to see me, or if ye wanted to be alone with yer thoughts again. I wouldn’ae blame ye if ye did. There’s… a lot to think about. Too much.”
“Of course I wanted to see you,” she gasped, holding him tightly. “I wanted to see you last night, but after I’d made such a fuss about being on my own to let everything marinate, I couldn’t find the nerve to come to you. I mean, it’s not like we can waste time, is it?”
He buried his face in her neck, pressing a tender kiss to the pulse that throbbed there. “Nay, it’s nae, but daenae remind me.”
“Have you been drinking?” She chuckled, smoothing her hand through his hair. “You smell like spiced wine.”
He drew his head back and pulled an apologetic face. “Just a wee bit. I was frozen without ye to hold, so I needed somethin’ else to warm me.” He brought his hands to her face, gazing down into her sweet, beautiful eyes, trying to put them to memory. “I daenae reckon I’ll ever be warm again, when ye leave. Me heart willnae, anyway.”
“I’m not sure mine will, either,” she confessed quietly, slipping her arms around him. “I went to the Cairns brokenhearted, thinking that all men were bastards, but then… you came along. I know we haven’t known each other for very long, and all of this is insane, but… you’ve come to mean so much to me.”
He kissed her, if only to silence her for a minute. “Daenae dare confess before me,” he whispered playfully, as he pulled back. “That’s what I came here to do, and I will do it before I kiss ye any more, and me words start to get muddled.”
“Then, I won’t interrupt.” She drew a line across her lips, which he assumed meant her lips were sealed.
“I’ve always believed in the magic of the Old Gods, though I cannae pretend to understand their ways. Me grandmaither used to say there was nay use in tryin’ to understand them, as they daenae make a jot of sense,” he began. “But I ken they sent ye through those stones, and that ye were supposed to meet me on the road that night. I ken it because I feel like ye’re the love of me life. It wouldn’ae matter if we’d met an hour ago—I’d feel the same.”
“Ye’ve brought light into me world at a time when everythin’ is usually at its darkest,” he went on, his heart pounding. “Nae once have I wallowed in me customary grief, because bein’ at yer side hasnae allowed sorrow to sneak in. Me heart is yers, Eloise, and I ken there’ll never be another like ye. And though I ken that ye have to return, me heart hurts every time I think of losin’ ye. Mercy, I’d marry ye tomorrow if I could, but… in this short paradise of kennin’ ye, I somehow left it too late.”
Tears filled Eloise’s eyes as she gripped the collar of his leine, her lips trembling as she looked away, like it was too painful to meet his gaze. “Can I speak now?”
“Aye.”
She swallowed loudly. “I feel the same, Jackson, and… it’s tearing me in half. It should be impossible that I feel so much for you, in so short a time, in so mad a situation, but I can’t help it. Besides, we’ve both learned that the impossible is possible, and that you should believe what’s right in front of you.” She gasped, choking on a sob. “I’ve never felt like this about anyone, and I’m terrified that when I leave here, I’ll be forced to forget you. I never want to forget you. I’m not even sure I want to leave. No… I know I don’t want to, not if I can’t ever come back, and we don’t know if I can. It’s ripping my insides to pieces, Jackson, and I don’t know how to fix it.”
As she collapsed into him, sobbing into his shoulder, he held her so close that he did not know where she ended and he began. He kissed her silken hair and her smooth brow, drawing his lips down to kiss away the tears that fell. It was an agonizing situation, and as a Laird and a lover, he knew he was supposed to have the answers to soothe her, but he had nothing to offer. He could not promise her that she could return, or that they would see each other again. He could not even promise tomorrow, in case those starlings came that very night.
Nevertheless, as he caught her mouth with his, he whispered against her lips, “I’ll wait for ye, Eloise. If there’s a way for ye to return, and ye find yerself missin’ me, I’ll be waitin’. Years from now, ye’ll still find me there, standin’ at the Cairns, willin’ ye to come back to me.” He kissed her fiercely, pausing only to add, “For that’s what ye do for those ye love.”