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Chapter Fifteen

SYLVIE

I woke with a gasp, the remnants of my dream scattering around me.

No, not a dream. Another nightmare. Except this time, Briar wasn’t around to comfort me.

Neither was Tanyl. Sitting up, I pressed my hand to the indentation shaped like his body. The sheets were cool, but that didn’t mean anything. He could have been gone for moments…or hours.

Gone to Briar. In the middle of the night. From the way the moonlight hit the floor, it was close to Perun.

My chest tightened. I didn’t know Tanyl was with Briar. But it was obvious, wasn’t it? Just as their history had been obvious the moment Briar rode across the bridge in the courtyard. In forty-five years of marriage, Tanyl had never mentioned Briar. He’d been tight-lipped about Saltvale, and I’d accepted it because his memories of that year were wrapped up in physical pain and deprivation.

But, of course, he’d only given me half the story. Did I have a right to be jealous of something that happened before he met me? He’d planned to wed Mairwen. Tanyl and I were never meant to happen.

Except we had, and he’d withheld part of himself.

A part you seized with both hands when it showed up again, a silky voice murmured in my mind.

Ignoring it, I pushed the blankets down and swung my legs off the bed. A sweet ache bloomed low in my body as I crossed to the washbasin, and I bit my lip as I stepped into a shaft of moonlight and examined my body.

Faint bruises bloomed across my skin. A rash streaked the side of my breast. Another flared on the inside of my thigh.

Briar’s stubble. Heat flooded my cheeks. If my women saw, rumors would fly. Like every male elf in Ishulum, Tanyl’s face was smooth.

Leaning over the basin, I splashed water on my cheeks even as my nipples tightened and heat spread through me. I’d grown up hearing tales of my father’s knights flooding the taverns’ upper floors after battles with the Scarrok. It wasn’t until I grew older that I realized the “upper floors” housed women who plied their bodies for coin.

Men are feisty after a skirmish, one of my ladies loved to say. Fighting quickens the blood.

Did that explain my reaction to Tanyl offering me to Briar? Pulling a towel from the stack next to the basin, I stared into the water as I blotted my face.

As much as I wanted to believe my actions were due to bloodlust, I couldn’t lie to myself. I’d been drawn to Briar from our first shared look in the courtyard. He was handsome, yes, but he was also…good.

No wonder Tanyl had been drawn to him. He’d despoiled Briar, and he’d taken pleasure in doing so. That was the beating heart of Tanyl’s wickedness—the urge to find good things and make them long to be bad. And whatever darkness infected Tanyl infected me too. He’d withheld his past, but he’d also given me a chance to stop tonight. He would have honored it. Tanyl’s rules were uncompromising.

But I hadn’t stopped him.

Setting the towel aside, I washed the rest of my body, the cool water raising goosebumps on my skin. If I hurried, I could make it to the temple in time for Perun, where I could pray for deliverance from the Scarrok. I’d given up asking for any other kind of deliverance.

A good wife gives her body to her husband, the sestras had told me as they readied me for my wedding. Whatever he demands, you must be prepared to submit. Well, I’d done that. But the wicked part of me wondered what they would say if they knew what Tanyl demanded.

What would they say if they saw him pushing Briar’s face between my legs?

Clean her up.

A bead of water dripped from my chin and splashed into the basin. In a blink, red spread over the water. Wind roared in my ears, and I was twenty years old with a wimple tight against my temples.

Did you see anything, child?

Lightning flashed in the water. And then faces flashed, features forming and dissolving in a sea of blood.

Pain fired across my hands. Reality crashed back as I gasped over the basin, its edges digging into my palms.

Sucking in a breath, I staggered backward. The water was clear once more, the vision gone.

Did you see anything, child?

Yes. I’d seen too much.

For a moment, I stood naked and shivering in the moonlight. Then I darted to the wardrobe and pulled a dress from a hook. Forgoing a chemise and stockings, I scrambled into the gown. It fastened in the front, and I worked the tiny buttons through the holes with trembling fingers. When I finished, I went to the vanity long enough to brush the tangles from my hair. Then I shoved my feet into slippers and left the chamber.

The guard outside the door jumped from his chair as I passed.

“Your Grace!” He swiped at drool on his chin. “Uh… Are you all right?”

“Yes,” I said. “No need to worry, Sir Alberd.”

He brightened. “You know my name.”

I smiled. “You’ve stood watch outside my husband’s door for the past year, sir.”

“Yes. That’s true.” He cleared his throat. “I, um, wasn’t asleep, Your Grace. If the king found out?—”

“He won’t,” I said. “You have my word that if King Tanyl asks about your service, he’ll hear only that you were alert and prepared to defend the crown against its enemies.”

Sir Alberd’s shoulders relaxed, and a sheepish smile played around his mouth. “Thank you, Your Grace.”

“You’re very welcome.” Gathering my skirts, I turned and started down the corridor. After a few steps, I stopped and swiveled back. “Did you see the king leave?”

Sir Alberd nodded. “Yes, ma’am. He left the apartments about an hour ago. Went straight to Father Briar’s chamber and then came back out looking ready to do murder.” Sir Alberd swallowed. “If you don’t mind me saying so.”

My nape prickled. “What did the king do after that?”

Sir Alberd jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “He dipped back inside for a moment and then came out with a bundle of cloth. He took it to Father Briar’s chamber. They emerged about a half hour later.” Sir Alberd shifted his feet, his brow furrowing. “I assume Father Briar wanted to pray Perun…”

The prickling increased. “Yes, I’m sure you’re right. I’ll join them.”

“Would you like me to escort you?”

I shook my head. “That won’t be necessary. Good night, Sir Alberd.”

“Good night, Your Grace. Perun protect you.”

“And Perun protect you.”

I left the corridor, and I headed through the castle with questions and possibilities spinning through my mind. Sleepy-eyed guards sprang to attention as I navigated the twisting corridors and broad staircases. A few offered escort, but I waved them off, my mind on Tanyl and Briar. Halfway to the temple, I approached a guard.

“Did the king pass this way?” I asked.

The man nodded. “Yes, Your Grace.”

“Was Sir Briar with him?”

He hesitated.

“My husband commands the Spring Court, sir, but I command his household. Night duty is a tiresome assignment. I’m certain you’d be much happier guarding this corridor during the day.”

The guard’s throat bobbed. “Sir Briar accompanied the king, Your Grace.”

“Which way did they go?”

Ten minutes and several other guards later, I descended the stairs to the River Gate. Torches flickered as I picked my way down the steps. The roar of the Perun grew louder, and then men’s muffled voices drew me into the chamber split in two by the river.

Tanyl whipped around, his eyes widening. “Sylvie…” He rushed to me, leaving Briar against the wall. “What’s wrong?” Tanyl demanded, grasping my shoulders. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine.” I looked past him to Briar, whose mouth was pink and swollen.

Tanyl took my chin and tipped my face to his. He looked me over, his blue eyes missing nothing. “You had a nightmare.”

“It was nothing.”

He tilted my chin up. “Not to me. I wouldn’t have left you if I knew your sleep was unsettled.”

“Is that so?” As soon as the challenge left my mouth, I wanted to claw it back. Against the wall, Briar stiffened.

Before Tanyl could reply, footsteps echoed. Tanyl muttered a curse, then caught my wrist and hustled me toward Briar. The footsteps grew louder as Tanyl grabbed Briar’s arm and then hurried us both into the narrow corridor that led to the armory’s steps.

The footsteps stopped, and a man’s voice echoed off the stone. “You said the queen came down here.”

A second voice replied, “Yeah. You heard me the first time.”

More scuffling footsteps. “I don’t see her,” the first voice said.

Tanyl tightened his grip on my wrist, and he pulled Briar and me deeper into the shadows, the three of us huddled in a damp corner. Mist swirled against the stone, which was dark with age and dripping water. Tanyl maneuvered me against the wall so I stood next to Briar, my shoulder brushing his. Then he angled his body so he shielded both of us.

“Well, maybe you’re not looking hard enough,” the second man said.

“Maybe you’re seeing things.” The footsteps drew closer. Then they stopped. “Come on. It was probably some serving girl sneaking off to meet a man.”

“Now, that I’d like to see.”

The first man chuckled. “I bet you would. Let’s go.”

Tanyl waited for the footsteps to fade. Then he sighed. “For fuck’s sake.” He dragged a hand through his hair. My expression must have looked as questioning as Briar’s because Tanyl sighed as he looked between us. “The guards will gossip if they see the three of us together.”

Chilly air swirled around us, and I folded my arms over my stomach. “Crispin already saw us when you ordered him out of your chamber.”

“Which is why I don’t want to give your brother more reasons to stick his nose in my business.”

I looked at Briar, who’d lowered his gaze to the ground. Tanyl stepped into me and hooked a finger under my chin.

“You asked if I would have left you unattended if I knew you were having bad dreams. The answer is no , Sylvie. Do you understand?”

The last, delivered with an edge of steel, sent a shiver down my spine. It was the kind of cold that turned hot, the frost so intense it burned. And as always, it tightened my nipples and slipped between my legs.

Briar looked up, and the solemn, quiet longing in his eyes made everything tighter. Hotter.

“You are my wife,” Tanyl said, his eyes glowing. “My queen.” He dragged a thumb over my bottom lip. “The only one I’d have by my side. If I live a thousand lifetimes, I’ll have you and no other.”

My breath caught, the intensity in his voice wrapping around me. We weren’t speaking about my nightmare anymore. We spoke of everything that had happened during the night.

Briar shifted, slate gray eyes meeting mine. The torchlight danced along his bare throat, casting shadows over his stubbled jaw. His dark hair was mussed from sleep or Tanyl’s hands. Probably both.

The ache I’d woken with—the one I’d tried to scrub away in the basin—throbbed harder. But it wasn’t shame. It was hunger, and assuaging it once wasn’t good enough. I still wanted Briar, even if it made me wicked. Maybe because it made me wicked.

And maybe—and perhaps this was the most wicked thing of all—I wanted him because Tanyl wanted him.

Tanyl turned my gaze back to his. “Do you doubt my love for you?”

My throat tightened. “No.”

“Liar,” he whispered, but there was no venom in it. Just quiet anguish. The word cleaved through me, and it cleaved the air between us, flaying open a tender wound we’d carried for years. We’d never been quite brave enough to prod it, so we’d left it mostly alone, both of us careful to tread its edges.

But it was split wide now, and neither of us could ignore the blood spilling from its center. Not with Briar looking on.

“Do you really love me?” I asked. “Or do you love the idea of me? The perfect queen who never falters. The dutiful sestra who always says yes.”

Tanyl froze. Then he blinked, obviously stunned. And beside him, Briar looked at me like he was seeing me for the first time—not as a queen or a lover, but as a woman afraid to step down from the pedestal Tanyl had erected.

My throat burned as I forced my deepest fears from between my lips. “You wanted a goddess, but you got a wife. And I can’t be either of those things. Because I can’t?—”

“I don’t care ,” Tanyl said, his voice low and fierce. “I don’t need heirs, Sylvie, so put this idea of legacy out of your mind. Our immortality is a curse or a gift depending on how you look at it. Either way, I plan on living a very long time.” He took my hand and pressed it over his heart. “This is my legacy. My love for you. The life we’ve built together.”

Deep within me, something hopeful lifted its head.

“The past is complicated,” Tanyl said, his voice lower now, “but the future doesn’t have to be.”

Briar moved, coming off the wall and slipping past Tanyl like he meant to leave the corridor. But Tanyl caught his arm.

“Where are you going?”

Briar’s gaze lingered on mine. Then he dropped his eyes to Tanyl’s chest, a line forming between his dark brows. “It’s past time for Perun.”

Tanyl stiffened. “You’re praying? Now?”

Briar looked up. “None of us can run from duty.” Gray eyes rested briefly on me again before Briar lowered his voice. “You are a king and a queen. And I am a priest…and a mortal. We can’t just stop being those things, no matter how much we might wish to.”

He shrugged from Tanyl’s grip. Then he turned and walked away.

“Briar,” Tanyl said sharply, and Briar stopped but didn’t turn.

I touched Tanyl’s arm. Let him go , I mouthed. He frowned, but he nodded. Then he looked at Briar.

“Promise you won’t hurt yourself again.”

Briar’s shoulders moved up and then down. He turned his head just enough for me to see his lips move as he said, “As you wish, Your Grace.”

He continued down the corridor, his large form quickly swallowed by mist. When Tanyl turned back to me, I touched his cheek.

“Give him time. All of this is new.”

Tanyl put his hand over mine. “And what about you? Do you need time?”

I stared into Tanyl’s blue eyes, and I saw the vulnerability there—the fear that I might pull away from him, from us.

“I need truth,” I whispered. “I need to know that whatever we’re doing, we’re doing it together.”

“You have that promise. No more secrets.”

“Do you love him?” The question slipped out before I could stop it.

“Yes,” Tanyl said without hesitation. “It would be easier if I didn’t.”

I searched his face. “Do you think I'm jealous?”

A wry smile played around his mouth. “I’m not the wisest man, but I learned a long time ago not to tell a woman her own mind.” He ran a light fingertip along my cheek. “Whatever you’re feeling, you have a right to it. I kept Saltvale from you.” He sighed. “I kept Briar from you.”

“But not tonight,” I whispered, desire snaking through me.

Tanyl’s eyes lightened a shade. “No,” he murmured. “Not tonight.”

Shivers raced through me at the memory of Briar’s hands and mouth on my body, his dark head between my legs as Tanyl observed everything.

“What comes next?” I asked. “What happens when the sun rises and we return to being king and queen? When Briar goes back to being a priest?”

Tanyl slid his fingers into my hair. For a moment, he simply looked at me, his expression softer than I’d ever seen it. The he kissed my forehead, and he kept his lips there as he spoke against my skin.

“When dawn breaks,” he said, “the sun will rise as usual. And you’ll still be my pretty little queen. You’ll go to the temple and kneel for Eura. Then you’ll come upstairs and kneel for me.”

I shivered, a moan slipping from my lips. But as he continued whispering instructions, a warning gnawed at the edges of my mind. Because we’d solved nothing. On the contrary, our problems had multiplied. The Scarrok still haunted the rivers. The future with Briar was uncertain.

And the vision from the godswell waited, the blood in the water as dark as the first time I’d seen it.