Page 42 of The Spinster (Emerson Pass Historicals 2)

“Theo had to go with him?”

“As different as they are, he would never have been able to let him go alone.”

“To have a bond like that must be something,” he said.

“Both a blessing and a curse.” I looked at my hands. “It’s not true that I blame the twins for our mother’s illness. I’ve never ever thought that.”

“Flynn must believe that to be true and has assumed others do, too.”

I hadn’t thought of that. Had Flynn been carrying around that guilt all these years? I touched the cuff of his jacket with the tips of my fingers. “Thank you for coming to find me.”

“Do you mean just now or in general?” He smiled as he placed his hand briefly over mine.

“Both, I guess? Yes, both.”

When we arrived back in the house, a hushed silence greeted us. After taking off our coats, Phillip spoke softly to me. “I’m going to skip tea today so that you can talk to your family alone.”

“Thank you. For the talk. Everything.”

“My pleasure.” He brushed his fingers against my arm but then seemed to think better of it and withdrew.

“You’re part of our circle now,” I said lightly. “I hope you won’t live to regret it.”

“I can’t imagine how that would ever happen.”

I watched him head toward the stairs before I went into the sitting room. Only Papa was there, staring pensively into the fire. He looked up when I approached. His face was pale and drawn.

“Papa?”

“Come here, darling.” He held out his hand. I gripped it in mine for a moment before sitting in the chair next to him.

“How is he?”

“Theo or Flynn?” The corners of Papa’s eyes crinkled from a half smile. “I hear you gave Flynn quite the tongue-lashing.”

I stared down at my hands. “I was angry. I shouldn’t have said the things I did. I’m sorry for it.”

“He knows. You’ll apologize, and all will be well.”

“I was hateful, Papa. I’m ashamed of myself.”

“If anything, it was good to get it out in the open that way. He admitted to me that he’s racked with guilt over what the war has done to his brother.”

“I’m scared, Papa. He looked like Mother out there.”

Papa turned back to the fire. “I’m scared, too. He’s always been sensitive. No young man should have to fight, but he’s particularly vulnerable to the horrors. What he had to do over there has broken him.”

I hadn’t thought until that moment that it was not only what he saw, but what he had to do. Theo, my peace-loving, bookish brother, had had to kill.

“What do we do?” I asked.

“We love him. And we pray.” He tilted his head, peering at me. “We’re the Barnes family. We get through whatever comes our way, together.”

I stopped in my brothers’ room before heading to mine to dress for dinner. Flynn was sitting in one of the chairs by the window watching Theo sleep. He greeted me with a smile that didn’t reach his puffy eyes.

Phillip was by the window, reading. When he saw it was me, he excused himself. “I need something from downstairs.”

“Thanks, Phillip,” Flynn said.