Page 24 of THE SOULBOND AND HER BELOVED (Beasts Of Wrath And Madness #4)

Chapter twenty-four

HEART-WRENCHING DECISIONS

Aekeira sat by the window, stitching as she hummed an old lullaby. Sunlight spilled pale and thin through the lattice, allowing her to enjoy the quiet and peace.

Until Emeriel entered.

She moved like a sleepwalker. Eyes swollen and red, face pale with exhaustion. There were dark circles under her eyes, and her lips trembled as she tried to hold herself together.

“Em!” Aekeira dropped her sewing at once, rising quickly to her feet. “Are you alright? Why do you look like—?”

Her sister crossed the room, collapsed into her arms, and started bawling. Harsh and violent as if dragged from the soul.

“Speak to me, what’s going on!?” Aekeira panicked more with every sob. “You’re frightening me! You know you shouldn’t be crying like this; you’re pregnant for light’s sake!” She was crying now too, unable to hold back. “Em, please!”

Still, Emeriel only wept.

She cried as though there was no end to her pain. Sobbed as if no hope remained in the world.

Aekeira gave up, and silently held her. She sank back onto the bed, drawing her sister down with her, rocking her, crying with her, as though they were children again.

She had no sense of how much time passed. At last, the sobbing eased. Subsided into torn breaths and hiccups.

“I’m broken, Keira…” Emeriel said in a whisper of defeat.

“How can you say that about yourself?”

“Because it’s true.” She turned to Aekeira with swollen eyes. “I am broken… and I don’t know if I'll ever heal.”

“You will. Tell me… please.”

She reminded Aekeira about that night months ago, and how it still affected their lives.

“My mind keeps drifting back to it whenever he touches me like that. No matter how much I try to stay in the present, the moment he is inside me, it’s like a switch flips, and I’m back in your former chamber, begging the beast for mercy.” She sobbed. “Heaven knows I would do anything to avoid thinking of that night. I don’t even want to, yet I can’t seem to escape it . I long to feel my male again, but I can’t because all I see are the moments I was completely at his mercy, unable to escape, pleading for just a moment’s reprieve as I bled everywhere, yet couldn’t get one." she stared at Aekeira. "When he hurt me so effortlessly, not caring about his strength or how torn I already was inside, he just kept taking and taking ." Her eyes grew wider, shaking her head even wilder. "That night plays in my head, and it’s driving me insane. It’s driving us apart, and it’s killing him inside. Yet, I can’t seem to move past it, Keira. My body opened for him during heat, and it remains ready to receive him, yet my mind feels closed off . I need help, but I have no idea what kind I need.”

Aekeira couldn’t keep her tears at bay.

"Emeriel, how could you keep this from me?" She drew her sister closer. "When I saw you that next morning, I knew something that terrible would not pass without leaving a scar, and I hate that I was right. What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know," Emeriel sobbed. "But until I do, something has to be done. And that's what is killing me inside, Aekeira."

She pulled back, looking her younger sister in the eyes. "What do you mean?"

"While I take some time to figure myself out, I must make a decision to keep him sane, in order to protect him, myself, and our unborn child." She began crying again. "It's not a very pleasant decision, Keira."

***

Grand King Daemonikai crossed through the fortress gates as dusk surrendered to night, Ottai trailing at his side.

Training the birds of prey and the messenger fliers should not have taken so long, but the young hawk refused to be contained, fighting the falconer’s every effort. One of the newly-bonded ravens had missed its mark entirely, vanishing into the gathering dark. By the time they returned to the Citadel, night had thickened fully.

Ottai bowed low at the archway before heading toward Mabblewood. Daemonikai ascended the corridors alone and entered his bedchamber, already feeling the beginnings of an ache behind his temples.

Emeriel lay on his bed, her back turned toward the door.

He moved soundlessly, setting aside his belt and mantle, then stripped down to his nightclothes. When he climbed into the bed beside her, she stirred, turning to face him.

“I was waiting for you,” she said with a smile.

“How are you feeling? Did you eat better today?”

“Yes, I did. Madam Livia gave me some herbs that helped me keep food down.”

Something in her eyes bothered him, and she looked pale. “You are troubled. What’s wrong?”

Pushing herself upright, she smoothed her hands over the folds of her gown. “The head healer came today. He delivered the remainder of my medicines, and he told me some things...”

“What things?”

She hesitated. “Please, don't punish him, I asked him questions about my condition.”

Daemonikai frowned. “Sure, I don't mind. You needed to know."

“He spoke of… your instincts. And we both know what happens when they’re not… sated.” She averted her eyes. “I’ve been thinking about everything and… the truth is, we can’t bear for things to get out of control again.”

Daemonikai sat up, ignoring his pounding skull.

"The possibility you may fall into an episode terrifies me, Daemon."

“It will never happen again, I'll make sure of that,” he vowed, taking her face in both hands. “Look at me, Emeriel.”

Slowly, her eyes met his.

“I would sooner hurl myself from the mountain peaks than harm you that way again.”

“I don't want you to harm yourself either,” she whispered. “So, I've found a solution.”

“No, we're not trying again. I refuse to put you through that—”

“Take another female to your bed.”

Daemonikai blinked.

Reprocessed the word, but they still held the same meaning.

Did she really say that?

“What?” Perhaps it was just the headache interfering with his hearing.

“Please, do it for me. For yourself. For our child.” She took his wrists into her hand, looking so tired.

“I have no intention of doing that, and I will not have you speak of it again.” His voice was steely now, his spine taut as he pulled away from her. “This discussion is over. Go to your room.”

“Please, hear me,” she whispered.

“Emeriel,” he snapped, furious. “Go. To. Your. Room.”

She flinched. For a moment, he thought she might protest. But she stood, cheeks damp, her hands shaking as she dried them.

Daemonikai looked away. He didn't like seeing her this way, yet he could not bring himself to soften. Angry, yes, but underneath was despair.

Is this what our life has come to?

His Soulbond thought herself so broken, she believed the only way forward was for him to take another female to bed—just to keep the madness at bay. Daemonikai might have laughed if his chest didn't feel so damn heavy.

She sank to her knees before him. “Please, just listen.”

“I won't listen to any more of this nonsensical—” He stopped himself. Took in a deep breath and forced his lungs to expand fully before he released it.

“These past months, I’ve allowed myself to be bound whenever an episode threatens,” he said, calmer now, though no less firm. “I’ve learned to read the signs before it happens. And I am perfectly willing to be chained—locked away in the forbidden chambers, if that’s what it takes.” His green eyes held her blue ones. “But hear me and hear me clearly. I have no desire— none —to be with another female. I want no other. It’s you I want. Your body. Your soul. All of you . And I’m willing to wait as long as it takes you to find your way back to me regarding intimacy.”

“Daemon, please…?”

“I'm not doing it," he snapped. "And, frankly, I'm really pissed you would make such a request. Go to your room."

Her shoulders sagged.

Then, she placed a protective hand on her belly. “I really apologize, Your Grace. It's just the thought of harming this child frightens me greatly. And if you fall into that state again... the thought haunts me. Why choose the cure over prevention? Why wait for you to lose control when something can be done to stop it? Why risk losing you completely to feral when it could be managed? Until we find out who did this and how to undo it, we need to do all we can to survive this.”

Daemonikai’s throat worked around a bitter answer, but it did not pass his lips. He had never resented her sharp mind, until now.

Because she speaks the truth.

He had sworn to protect her, to do everything within his power to safeguard the life they had created together. Yet here he was, torn between reason and emotion—choosing irrationality and his own feelings over the truth. He knew he needed to sate his most basic instincts or risk endangering his fragile, new family. And he hated that truth and himself for the choice he was facing."

“You don’t need to do it out of desire; do it out of duty.” She wiped her tears, sniffling. “Do it for us.”

Daemonikai closed his eyes. But her voice followed him into the darkness.

“Start tonight. Do not delay it. Do not overthink it. Just do it... please .”

***

While the rest of the Citadel slept, Mistress Sinai lay awake in her bed, staring at the darkness above. Enjoying the luxury of her quarters was incredibly amazing.

Only yesterday had she been released from that wretched prison cell she had begun to think she would never leave. She did not know if it was the result of the endless petitions sent in her name or the joy of the pregnancies. Perhaps both . A handful of prisoners had been granted freedom too. The real reason mattered little… she was back .

Back in her domain. Back in her silks and perfumes. Back where every servant bent the knee when she passed.

Sinai had not realized how much she would miss these simple luxuries until they had been stripped from her.

And so, in the hours since her return, she had basked in the sunlight on her terrace, squandered good coin on wines and spices, and indulged herself every pleasure she had taken for granted.

But when night fell, the darkness returned with it.

Now she lay in her bed, staring into nothing. Her body cradled by silk and feather down, yet she may as well have been shackled in that cold cell. Sleep did not come, and she was incredibly sad .

Was it time to give up? Daemonikai will never be mine, will he?

Never did she imagine she would ask herself such questions. Yet in recent days, it was all she asked. It was misery at its peak, and it hurt her pride to entertain such notions. To think she had been outdone by a wretched human.

Centuries of waiting, of scheming, of devotion… all for nothing. Daemonikai had chosen another. And now, she was carrying his child.

Emeriel conceived the heir Sinai had longed to give Daemonikai herself.

She fisted the sheets, stubbornly refusing to shed tears. This was no longer a contest she could win through seduction or cunning smiles. No, Daemonikai was building a family again. One that would stabilize him yet again, one that would bind him away from her.

Perhaps it was time to give herself over, wholly and without reservation, to the Second Ruler.

If she could not have Daemonikai, she could have something else she'd always wanted just as fiercely: the crown. The title of Grand Queen. And together, they might bring Daemonikai to his knees.

For if Sinai could not have him, she would gladly see him die . No one else would have him. No one.

A sharp knock rattled the door.

“Mistress,” came a soldier’s voice.

At this hour? She scowled at the ceiling before answering. “What is it? Leave me be. It is far too late for this nonsense.”

A brief hesitation. “The Grand King summons you.”

She bolted upright.

“The message is to come... prepared.”

***

She knocked once.

Shit. Sinai needed to tamp down her anticipation, excitement, and relief.

Who would have thought that just when she was about to surrender, fate would choose to smile upon her?

It'd been so long since she'd received the message that, at first, it had failed to register. But when it did, she had flown from her bed and readied herself with a speed she'd not thought herself still capable of.

And now, she stood before the chamber the soldier had escorted her to, clad in one of her finest, most enticing nightrobes. One that clung to her body like a second skin, cut to reveal more than it concealed. Easy to slip from the shoulders. Easier still to discard entirely.

For effect, she had bathed herself in the oils of meccai leaves to deepen her blood’s scent. Making her more tempting. Divine.

“Enter.”

Sinai walked inside and quietly closed the door. The room was dark, with only the flicker of a single brazier near the bed.

Daemonikai stood by the window, arms crossed, his back to her. “Take off your clothes. Get on the bed. Present to me.”

Good news never sounded better. Nothing sounded better.

Her arousal intensified lightning-fast as she slipped the thin straps from her shoulders. It pooled at her feet.

Not long ago, this same male had looked her dead in the eyes and told her he wanted nothing to do with her. So what changed?

The temptation to ask was strong.

Sinai bit down on her tongue. She would not ask, would not ruin this moment with foolishness. Not when she had come so far. She was so close .

Whatever it was that shifted in him had brought him to her , and she would not risk shattering it.

For the first time in longer than she could remember, she stood bare before him—and it had nothing to do with feeding him in the ways of old. This time, there was no Evie stretched seductively across the bed, stealing the moment from her.

No, tonight was just the two of them.

She climbed onto the bed and settled herself as ordered. Arching her back, she offered herself to him. Open. Ready.

“All yours,” she purred.

***

Grand King Daemonikai left the window to stand behind the female presenting before him.

He had chosen Sinai for a reason. Two birds with one stone. Satisfy both lusts—sex and blood—in one act. Efficient. Necessary.

Yet, he was at war with himself.

As he walked to this chamber, he'd dreaded doing this, but now standing behind Sinai, staring at her body and everything she was offering him, nothing prepared him for how repulsed he was .

Yes, he knew he didn't want this, Emeriel was all he desired, but he didn't expect to feel so… nauseated.

Sinai was ready for him. Wet and open. Body arched, legs parted… every inch of her beckoned him to take. Yet his stomach had turned inside out, and his skin crawled.

And Emeriel’s bond with him was dormant, yet he was feeling this way. This is going to be harder than I'd thought.

He stripped in silence, casting his garments aside. “Come to me.”

Sinai uncurled, crawling closer before rising to her feet. She walked to him, stopping just in front of him. It was she who leaned in first, lifting her chin as she pressed her lips to his. The kiss was more a claim than an invitation.

Daemonikai let it happen. He palmed his soft cock, stroking himself roughly out of necessity than pleasure.

When was the last time I needed to do this to ready myself? Far too long.

He cupped Sinai’s breast with his free hand, squeezing it, his thumb flicking over the nipple in slow circles.

He closed his eyes, waiting for his mind to conjure something—anything—that would help. He searched for those sensual memories that had once driven him to lust. Whenever he had to do this in a distant past, it was always Evie’s memories. So he tried that.

Nothing happened.

He conjured up all the best ones with her, every fevered memory that could have gotten him fired up in the past. Still nothing.

He dropped the pretense, allowing himself drift to who he actually wanted to think about.

Memories of his time with her flooded his mind. Both as Emeriel and Galilea .

Every fierce coupling, every tender lovemaking. Every whispered laughter, pleas, and desperate cries.

Daemonikai pictured her face as she reached the peak of pleasure. Her screams as she pushed her limits. Her scent, her taste. The feel of her wrapped around his cock.

He hardened, rising from near-limp to full, aching arousal as he let himself drown in her.

“Yes,” Sinai moaned against his mouth.

The voice jack-knifed him. It sounded all wrong.

Shut your mouth, he snarled inwardly, forcing himself to ignore it. He walked her backward to the bed, followed her down and covered her body with his own.

“Yes, touch my breasts,” she whispered again.

And just like that, the illusion was shattered.

He was back in the present, with the female who was not his Soulbond .

The desire he had scraped together fled in an instant. Gone, like footprints before a desert wind.

“You don’t need to do it out of desire; do it out of duty. Do it for us.”

So, Daemonikai gritted his teeth and tried harder. He thrust forward.

But couldn't breach her.

He just... could not.

His body refused, his instincts roared against it, and his beast whimpered low and sick, cowering in a corner of his mind. His belly was churning, he wanted to vomit.

“Here.” Sinai reached between them, taking him in hand. “Let me guide you in.”

Daemonikai pulled back. “No.”

Sinai blinked in surprise, her hand falling away as he rose to his feet.

“This cannot happen. I apologize for this, Sinai, it was a mistake,” he said flatly, reaching for his clothes. “I will have thirty gold coins sent to your chambers in the morning as recompense for this insult.” He tugged his tunic over his head and began tying the cords of his trousers. “But hear me now. You will never speak of this to anyone. Am I clear?”

He paused as he finished tying his waist cords. “Am. I. Clear?”

She dipped her chin once more, the motion jerky, looking so disappointed. “Crystal, Your Grace.”

Daemonikai turned from her and walked away without a backward glance.

With Evie, he had at least been able to take other females. But with Emeriel… he not only hated the thought of it with every last drop of his blood—every part of him rebelled against it.

Fuck .

He needed to find another solution. One that worked. And even if it was unpleasant, so be it. Daemonikai would bear it—anything but a repeat of what had happened tonight.