Page 40 of The Sinner’s Touch (Manwhore #2)

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Grumpy didn’t even begin to describe how Angel felt. She’d been in this hospital for almost two weeks because she’d developed an infection. Her fever had raged for over a week, and the hospital wasn’t taking any chances. Until the infection was cleared out of her system, she was stuck here.

Kade had been released four days ago. He slept here, but at least if he wanted to, he could leave.

And it was Christmas Eve.

She was stuck in this place on Christmas.

Her tabletop tree in the apartment had probably died by now. She’d asked Kade to check on it, but as he hadn’t said a word about it, she took that as a sign the thing was now in the trash.

Thank God for online shopping. At least she had gifts for Nik, Viktor, Dimitri, and Lily.

Kade’s had arrived this morning, and the nurses distracted him long enough for her to wrap it.

They’d asked him to help play Santa in the pediatrics wing.

He never could turn down children. They were his weak spot.

Angel hoped he liked what she’d gotten him.

He’d always been difficult to shop for, but this year, his gift wasn’t expensive.

It was something that represented the new start they both wanted.

It was a snow globe with the city of Boston nestled within its walls.

It was here they’d been given their second chance. She hoped he liked it.

“Mrs. Kincaid, how are we feeling today?” The doctor pushed his way into the room, all smiles, and she growled at him.

“I am not good today. I want to go home.”

“Well, your labs are looking much better, but the infection still hasn’t left your system. I’m changing your antibiotics today, and we’ll reevaluate in a few days.”

Her lips pursed. “You’re not going to let me go home for Christmas, are you?”

He shook his head. “Your body has been through a lot. It needs time to recover from wounds and the infection that was out of control less than four days ago. I know this isn’t what you wanted, but…”

“She’ll gripe, but she’ll stay.” Kade came into the room, still dressed in his Santa outfit, minus the white beard. He was the sexiest fat Santa she’d ever seen. Until he opened his mouth and spewed that nonsense.

“I was thinking of checking myself out.”

They both looked alarmed.

“Mrs. Kincaid…”

“Angel…”

“I just want to go home for Christmas. What if I come back the day after?”

“That defeats the purpose of pumping you full of continuous IV antibiotics. If you want to get better, you have to stay.”

“She’ll stay.” Kade had that nasty, stubborn look on his face, and she sighed. She wasn’t getting out of here.

The doctor said a few more things, but she tuned him out. It wasn’t until Kade sat down on the bed that she looked his way. He was staring at her foot. The knife had done a good bit of damage, and she’d need physical therapy after it healed.

It hurt today. She’d asked them not to give her any more pain meds because she was afraid she’d get hooked. It was so easy to do. But that decision brought with it full-on pain. Ibuprofen just wasn’t cutting it.

“You okay, baby?” Kade leaned down and pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose.

“I want to go home,” she said, surly.

“I know, but I want you better more.”

“They let you out.”

“I didn’t get a post-surgery infection.”

Kade suppressed his grin. She wouldn’t appreciate it. She’d been grumpy since yesterday, but he knew it was because the thought of spending Christmas in the hospital depressed her. Not that he was a fan either. He’d rather be home too, but it was what it was, and they’d deal.

“Maybe I’ll give you your Christmas present early.”

“Present?” She perked up, and he did laugh then. Angel loved presents. She’d never ask for them, and that was why he’d taken delight in getting her things while they dated and later after they were married. He loved the look of surprise and eagerness that never failed to mar her expression.

“Mmmhmm.” He scooted closer and gave her another kiss, this time on the corner of her mouth.

“Gah! My eyes can’t take it!” Nik came in, his hand over his eyes. “You need to be in private for that, Kade.”

Kade laughed and sat up. His little brother had the worst timing imaginable, but then he always had. Lily came in behind him, and it was only then he noticed they were carrying bags.

“What’s that?”

“You’ll see.” Lily smiled, her eyes sparking with mischief.

Viktor and Dimitri followed, with Viktor carrying an artificial tabletop tree.

“We decided since you couldn’t be home for Christmas, we’d bring Christmas to you, Angel Girl.” Nik leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Merry Christmas, sestra .”

Dimitri unpacked lights he and Viktor strung up around the room while Lily began pulling presents out of a bag and placing them around the small tree.

“Do you want to help me decorate the tree?” Kade felt his heart turn over when she smiled. It was the one he loved, the one that was so big it took over her entire face.

“Do you even have to ask?”

He picked her up and sat her in the chair Lily pulled over. He took the bag handed to him and grimaced when he caught sight of the color.

“Purple!” Angel squealed and started pulling out the bulbs.

“Well, we just brought over the decorations you picked out at Target.” Lily smiled when Kade sidestepped her. He’d learned not to touch her without a lot of fair warning.

“And we brought Christmas Eve dinner!” Dimitri declared, sitting down in one of the chairs. His face looked strained. Kade knew he was still having issues with his legs, but Dimitri told him the physical therapy was helping.

“I made lasagna and homemade garlic bread.” Lily helped him set up the food, and Angel’s stomach growled.

“Don’t look at me like that.” She wagged her finger at Kade. “Your stomach would be vocal too if all you’d had was hospital food for two weeks.”

Well, that wasn’t exactly true. Kade has snuck food in for her every day. His woman could eat.

“But before we eat, we thought we could do something for Angel, Kade, and Lily. Well, for us too, but mostly for them.” Viktor picked up the one bag no one had touched yet.

He rolled over the little table they used to put her food trays on.

On it, he placed seven small candles in glass holders.

“I thought tonight before we break bread, we could say a prayer for those who are gone but not forgotten.”

Angel’s breath caught. She hadn’t expected Viktor, this big burly man who looked lethal, to do something so beautiful.

Kade’s hand gripped her shoulder, and she looked up to see him staring at his brother.

It was hard to define any one emotion flickering over his face. Suffice to say, he had no words.

Viktor set up the candles and handed the first lit candle to Lily. “You first sestra .”

“I’m not sure…”

“Lily Bells isn’t Catholic.” Nik leaned into her. “We light a candle to remember those we’ve lost and to pray for those who are still here.”

“Oh.” She nodded and leaned down to light two of the candles. “One is for my father who died when I was twelve, and the other is for my twin sister who died when I was fifteen.”

“Is there anything else you want to say?” Nik asked softly.

“I miss them. Especially during the holidays. Laney loved Christmas. It was her favorite, and she’d start decorating the day after Thanksgiving.

Mom used to get so aggravated when she’d find lights and decorations strung out all over the floor the next morning.

My dad, I miss that he’s not here to see me graduate or to walk me down the aisle, but I know he’ll be there on those days.

I take comfort in the fact that he’s always with me. ”

Angel had no idea Lily had had a twin sister. That must have been so hard. It was like losing the other half of yourself. Losing Peter had been devastating. Losing a twin, Angel wasn’t sure if she’d have recovered.

Nik went next. “For Matthew. I would have loved to meet you, little one, but know you will never be forgotten by your uncles. We will cherish your memory every day for as long as we live. I love you, plemyannik .”

“It means nephew,” Kade whispered in her ear.

Tears sprang to her eyes. Nikoli’s words went straight to her heart and pried open the vault she’d built around the place where her son was missing.

Viktor took the match. “Matthew, you will be missed every single day, and we will honor your memory by keeping you in our thoughts. You will make us better and make us remember how short our time together is. I love you, plemyannik .” He lit the candle and handed the long match slowing burning down to Dimitri.

“We didn’t know about you before, little one, but know as you sit upon the laps of your grandparents and your uncle, the uncles and grandparents you left behind will love you. We’ll miss you and keep you safe in our hearts. I love you, plemyannik .”

Angel whimpered, trying to hold back her tears.

When Kade took the match, he clutched her hand.

“My beautiful boy, you were loved from the moment I knew about you. I was scared, but I knew I wanted you. You owned my heart, and you made me want to be better, to do better for you. I wanted to be a man you’d be proud of.

I know I let you down in that regard, and it guts me.

Your mother suffered because I couldn’t be the man I wanted to be.

But that’s changed. I’ve become a better person. ”

Kade let go of her hand and pulled out his wallet, reaching in to produce the smudged sonogram picture. A single tear slipped out of his eye as he caressed the photo with his thumb. He handed it to Dimitri, who blinked back his own tears, studying the small image.

“I promise you I will never hurt your mother again. I will protect her with my life and strive to be the man who is worthy of your love. I miss you, son, and I will love you until the day I die.”

Kade lit the candle and handed the match to Angel.

Her hand shook so badly, he wrapped his around it and guided the match to the candle.

“This one is for Peter.”

Her eyes shot up to his face, and he was smiling, but it was a sad smile. He knew how important Peter was to her.

“I’m not sure what to say.”

“Say whatever you want to, Angel Girl. This is about remembering who we’ve lost. There is no wrong thing to say.” Nik gave her an encouraging smile.

Angel nodded. “When our parents died, Peter was determined to raise me himself. It was a fight because he was only eighteen, and social services didn’t think he was fit.

But it was a fight he won. When Peter set his mind to something, he always got it.

” A soft smile came over her. “He loved me, and he’d always say, ‘You and me, we’ve always got each other’s backs.

’ And he did. He had my back so many times.

He took care of me and he loved me, even when it cost him his life.

I miss you, big brother.” Her voice broke, and Kade hugged her.

“I miss him too.” He buried his face in her hair.

Peter and Kade had been best friends. She’d spent so much time cursing him for deceiving them all, she forgot how much Peter meant to Kade too.

“He loved you like his own brother.”

“And I betrayed him.”

“No.” Angel shook her head. “You made sure he would be safe, Kade. You gave him back his life. He was the one who chose to come see me. And that’s not my fault, either. You made me understand that fact, so you listen to me now. Don’t blame yourself for Peter’s death. He made his own choices.”

Kade closed his eyes, and Angel knew it would take more than her words to wipe away his guilt. But maybe he’d learn to start to forgive himself as she had done.

She turned her attention to the last remaining candle, the one for her son, and a sob broke free.

She couldn’t help it. He should be here now, cuddled up in her lap in front of the Christmas tree, singing silly songs like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer .

So many smiles and laughs and cuddles she’d never be able to feel.

She wanted her baby boy back more than anything in the world.

“It’s okay, moye serdste . I’ve got you.”

“My little nugget,” she whispered. “I would give up anything to have you back. I want to hold you, to hug you, to give you sloppy kisses. To clean your scraped knees. To watch you learn to ride your bike. So many things I had planned for you. You were and still are my heart. I almost died myself when I lost you. I know you’re in Heaven getting those cuddles and kisses from your Uncle Peter.

He loved you from the moment he saw those little lines on the test. He’ll take care of you now because your daddy and I can’t.

But we’ll always love you, Nugget, and we’ll never forget about you.

You will be in our hearts, and your daddy was right.

We’ll be better people because of you. I miss you so much, baby boy. I love you.”

Kade held her shaking hand as she lit the candle. He blew out the match and hauled her up in his arms as she burst into tears. She wanted her son.

The room was quiet as she cried and Kade held her close. She wasn’t sure how long it was before she was able to gather herself together and turn out of the shelter of Kade’s arms.

His family was there, their heads bowed, feeling the grief that encapsulated Kade and Angel. Even though they’d never had the chance to know about Matthew, they still grieved for him. It was written right there on their faces. It was in the words they’d spoken.

Kade’s family loved her son.

No, not Kade’s family. They were her family now too.

She wasn’t alone anymore.

She’d survived everything and come full circle.

It was going to be all right.

“Who’s hungry?” she asked.

Dimitri’s hand sprung up, and she laughed.

She settled back down and let herself be happy as they ate dinner and then opened presents.

It wasn’t such a bad Christmas Eve after all.