Page 16

FIFTEEN

ELLA

Tata and Miko’s silverware clash against their plates nearly at the same moment after they both shovel in the small portions of potato stew with legumes.

“That was wonderful. Thank you, dear,” Tata says to Mama as he dabs his face with a napkin.

We’re eating much later than usual.

Missing inventory at the store caused a hold up with reconciliation.

People steal from us daily and there are so many in the store at once, it’s hard to spot.

“Yes, wonderful, Mama,” Miko echoes.

“It isn’t a race to see who can swallow their supper first,” she reminds them.

“It takes me hours to prepare the food you devour in mere minutes.”

Despite my urgency to get up from the table, too, it’s the same complaint every night—one I can’t quite blame her for.

Mama is tired of Tata and Miko running out of the apartment after dinner to their resistance meetings—or “citizen-aide-meetings” as they call them.

It breaks my heart to see the despondence and worry in Mama’s eyes as she watches them walk out the door.

“I love you, my darling,” Tata tells Mama, giving her a kiss on the head.

“And you my, sweetheart.” He kisses me next.

Miko grabs his satchel and pulls it over his head, crossing it over his body to hang by his side.

“Be home soon, Mama,” he says.

“Ella…stay out of trouble,” Miko utters to me as he passes by.

“Did you hear about the increase of SS troops?” Miko asks Tata as they walk out the door.

“What am I going to do with the two of them? They leave every night, thinking they’re helping the city in some way, and nothing has gotten any better. If anything, it’s just getting worse. This is just another reason I don’t ask questions. It’s better not knowing. Of course, unless someone forces information upon me. Then I must sit and stir over it,” she says with a grumble.

“Although I did hear something quite interesting from a neighbor today.”

“Mama, it could be gossip—” I say.

“It’s not,” she says, her stare widening as she continues.

“The Germans killed a woman for smuggling food in through the ghetto wall. They killed her right on the spot without warning. And apparently, it isn’t the first time this has happened. It’s unfathomable, really.”

Sweat from my chest soaks through my work dress, hearing the looming threat I face every night.

I understand the risks involved in helping Luka and his family, but I can’t sit here day after day knowing what they’re suffering through, and do nothing for the sake of fearing the soldiers.

“Here, I’ll do the dishes so you can go sit down and rest,” I tell her, standing from my seat at the table.

“No, that’s all right. I’d rather stay busy, but thank you, dear.”

Guilt slithers through me like slime every time I walk away from Mama at night.

“If you insist. I’m going to go read for a bit before bed,” I lie.

“I’m so glad to see you reading so much again,” she says with a faint smile.

“Me too,” I say, swallowing hard against the continued lie.

Mama knows me better than anyone else, which leaves me wondering if she’s aware of what I do at night, but chooses not to say anything.

She doesn’t ask about Luka, and I don’t mention his name, not since he was taken to the ghetto.

I don’t want her to ask me questions about whether I’ve tried to visit.

“Goodnight, dear.”

I close myself into my bedroom and turn my radio on to a silent hum of classical music—one of the few stations we still receive.

Of course, this classical music is by German composers only, and other than at night, the station is filled with German cultural programs and news.

The sound, however, masks the creak of my window opening.

I stare down at my watch again for the fourth time in fifteen minutes, bouncing my knees as I wait on the edge of my bed, making sure it’s been long enough since Tata and Miko left that I won’t run into them.

I’m running out of time.

I retrieve the bundle of goods for Luka that I’ve been storing beneath my bed.

I made an exchange with an apothecary tradesman I spotted in Castle Square, just outside the ghetto walls.

I was there before sunrise this morning, waiting in the man’s line, hoping he would have what Luka needed for his grandmother.

I’m still surprised I was able to acquire everything.

I gently shove my window open, then climb over the sill, swing my legs through the opening, and hop down to the flat overhang above the store.

I shut my window then tiptoe to the side edge and scale down the trellis.

The street is quiet at this hour, leaving me with only the sound of horse and carriage passing on a nearby main street, and the crackling rubble beneath my boots as I scurry down the sidewalk.

“Ella, stop,” Miko shouts, his voice jarring, making me gasp and clutch my chest.

“What are you doing?” I shout in a whisper.

“You nearly scared me half to death.”

“What are you doing?” he turns the question back to me.

“Nothing.”

Miko exhales heavily and takes a hold of my arm.

“What’s in the bag?”

“Nothing,” I say again.

“Ella, I know you go into the sewers every night. A change of clothes, soap and water can only conceal so much.”

My heart pounds, wondering why he’s not with Tata and what he’s going to do to prevent me from bringing these herbs to Luka.

“Have you been following me?” I ask as if he’s to blame rather than me.

“You’re my little sister, and despite what you might think, I love you and worry about you. It’s hard for me to tell you not to do the same thing I’m doing every night, but I have resources of information that I can use before making decisions. Do you?”

I shrug because there’s no sense in lying about that.

I’m not an actual part of the resistance like he and Tata are.

Therefore, I wouldn’t have access to the same information.

“No.”

“I wouldn’t take the risk tonight. There’s a lot of German soldier activity, beatings, shootings—it’s bad.”

“I’m careful. I have people, too.”

“Arte? He’s your people?” I should have figured Miko knew more than he was letting on.

“Ella, please listen to me. Give it a few days. Hopefully the increase of the SS troops’ activity will quiet down.”

That’s not true.

Nothing ever becomes quieter than it was.

“I need to bring Luka something. His grandmother is going to die if I don’t.”

“Do you think he’d rather you die trying to get him something that he may never receive? I’ve been in love before. I know what it’s like to put everything on the line and throw the thought of your own safety to the side for someone.”

“You’re still in love, Miko. That’s why you’re in the resistance, too. Katja is in the resistance, too, isn’t she?”

Miko releases a heavy sigh.

“All right, fine. Yes. But I’m not going down into the sewers. You must listen to me.”

“You’re lucky you don’t have to go into the sewers for a moment with Katja. Try to understand,” I argue.

“Tata has no clue what you’re doing right now. I didn’t rat you out. I won’t say a word to him, but please go back home.”

My throat is dry and my muscles ache as I battle against the fear that keeps so many from doing anything to help those who can’t help themselves.

I don’t respond, because I’ll only be agreeing to letting Luka down, and not helping his grandmother.

“Be safe, Miko,” I tell him, hoping he will turn around and go back to wherever he’s supposed to be with Tata.

“Thank you for looking out for me.”

Miko checks his watch.

“I have to get to Tata.”

“Go. I’ll be fine,” I say.

“Please, Ella. Think about what I’m saying.”