Page 31 of The Silent Sister

CASSIA

‘Don’t cry, Mamá. She’ll calm down. She’s had a big shock.’ Bronwen got up and held her mother in her arms while she sobbed.

‘Let me talk to your mother alone. You go and see if Eléni is all right.’ Tom wrapped his arms around his wife as Bronwen left.

‘I’m sorry, Cassia. You said we should have told her when she was a little girl, and she would have just accepted it.

This would never have happened if I’d just listened to you.

’ He paused. ‘I didn’t know you were keeping a journal. I’ve never seen the newspaper cutting.’

How could she tell her husband how she’d felt in the early days when they’d first arrived in Wales? Instead, she’d poured her heart out into that book by writing diary entries every day. She’d written them in her own language of Greek, never dreaming that anyone would read it.

‘I’m sorry. I didn’t want to worry you. You were so far away and you couldn’t have done anything. Glyn arranged for us to move in with Auntie Gwladys and it was the best thing that could have happened. You already know that. Both of us were so happy with her.’

Cassia looked at the concerned face of her husband.

Eléni was right about one thing. She had kept things from Tom too.

If he’d had a normal job coming home every night after work, perhaps she could have confided in him.

But when she’d first been on her own, she’d not wanted him to worry about how homesick she’d felt, alongside squabbles with nephews and reporters calling.

She’d used the journal as a way of getting things out of her system.

She’d used it as a diary to record her true feelings.

She’d told Eugenia things in her letters she hadn’t wanted to worry Tom about in the ones she’d written to him.

‘I thought it was just because my aunt needed help in the house and you’d be near the docks whenever I came home on leave.

You should have told me. But let’s forget about the row for now.

When Eléni has calmed down, we’ll tell her all about her Kefalonian heritage and deal with any questions she has.

How about a cup of sweet tea? I’ll make it. It all seems quiet upstairs, anyway.’

‘What would I do without you? Thank you.’ Cassia sat up straight and watched her husband.

Hand on heart, she knew she’d always loved him as a wife should love her husband.

Her mind went back to the first time he’d arrived home on leave.

They’d been living with Aunt Gwladys in Cardiff by then and she’d been counting the days.

All her previous doubts about only marrying him for Eléni’s sake had only been because she’d felt so lonely and unhappy when she’d first arrived in Wales.

Why, oh, why, had she got the book out today?

Eléni would have been none the wiser and the family’s easy, contented lifestyle could have continued.

But perhaps it was for the best Eléni had found out.

Tom was right. Their beautiful girl would calm down.

Cassia had always felt guilty about not telling Eléni the truth.

The longer it had gone on, the less it had ever seemed there was a right time.

She knew why she’d looked at the book that morning, though.

It was always going to be an emotional day.

It was every year. Twenty-three years ago today, she’d given birth to baby Angelika.

Memories flooded back as she relived that awful time. The panic, the pain, the grief.

‘No! It’s too early.’ Cassia’s startled cries had echoed through the empty house.

Her stomach had tightened in another contraction.

Pain had seared through her body. ‘Not yet! I need you to stay where you are.’ She grabbed the back of a kitchen chair, her knuckles whitening as another excruciating contraction cut through her like a knife.

Warm liquid trickled down her thighs. There was no going back. She needed to push.

It’d happened ten days after her beloved Nikos had been murdered. She’d known it had been too early to give birth. The image of the lifeless body of her tiny daughter had never left her.

Cassia’s heart had shattered. Sobbing, she’d clutched Angelika to her. ‘My beautiful girl, my last link to your baba. How am I going to live without you both?’

She remembered being comforted by the words of her dear neighbour, Sophia, who’d called at the house after hearing her screams. Sophia had found her rocking back and forth with the baby in her arms. ‘It’s the stress, agápi mou . But she’s gone to be with her baba . They will be together for ever.’

The book helped to remind Cassia of why it was important that Eléni should have a loving family. She could give her all the love she would have showered on Angelika.

* * *

Cassia heated up the corned beef hash and laid the table. She called everyone to come once she’d dished up the steaming stew into the bowls.

‘Eléni’s not joining us,’ Bronwen said. ‘She’s not speaking to me either, so you’re not alone. Best to leave her. She’ll soon come to join us when she gets hungry.’

‘Tom,’ Cassia called to him from the doorway, before taking her seat at the table by Bronwen. ‘She’ll never forgive us. Those were her words and I believe her.’

Tom entered the kitchen. ‘What’s this?’

‘Mamá thinks Eléni won’t forgive us for keeping her in the dark.’ Bronwen rolled her eyes.

‘Now then , Bronwen. We have to appreciate what a shock it was for her.’ He patted Cassia’s hand. ’She’ll come round eventually.’

Cassia looked at the empty place set at the table.

Was this how it was going to be now? Her eyes pricked with tears.

She hardly ever looked at her journal now.

She’d even been tempted to bin it when they’d packed up for the move back to Mid-Wales.

She’d had one last read through before putting it in the bin, but had retrieved it, not able to throw away part of her life.

It’s how she viewed it — a part of her life.

And now, because of that decision, her life was about to change for ever. She didn’t feel like eating.

She walked upstairs and knocked on Eléni’s bedroom door. ‘Come on. You’ve got to eat. Why don’t you come down and we can talk about it?’

‘No. Go away! I don’t want to talk about it. And certainly not with you. First thing in the morning, I’m going to find out everything about Kefalonia and I’m going out there as soon as I can. You can’t do a thing to stop me. I’m overage and you won’t ever see me again.’

Cassia could tell from the pitch of Eléni’s voice that she was still very angry and upset. She was at a loss as to how to deal with her daughter when she was in such a state. She turned and retraced her steps downstairs.

Tom waited in the hall. ‘No luck, I presume. I think we’ve just got to let her take it all in and wait for her to want to talk about it when she’s ready.’

Cassia nodded.

As they were standing at the foot of the stairs, Eléni’s bedroom door opened. She stomped down the stairs, barged past them to grab her coat and left the house.

‘Where are you going?’ Tom called after her.

‘Out! Away from you lot,’ came the answer.

‘Oh, Tom. What have I done? She’s never spoken to you like that before. She said she’s going to Kefalonia tomorrow and that we can’t stop her. I can’t lose her. After everything we’ve been through, we can’t let her go.’