Page 36 of The Shades of Pemberley

“For the last time!” roared Darcy, “Lady Catherine is not my aunt! Be silent, you witless worm, or I shall horsewhip you!”

“Who is Lady Catherine?” asked Bennet into the rising furor.

“Lady Catherine is my aunt,” said the tall man standing behind Collins.

“I beg your pardon, sir, for there is no time for social niceties, but I am the late Mr. Darcy’s cousin, Colonel Anthony Fitzwilliam.

Lady Catherine de Bourgh is my father’s sister, and the late Mr. Darcy was the son of Lady Catherine’s sister. ”

“Then what can Darcy have to do with this Lady Catherine de Bourgh?” asked Bennet, still at sea.

“Not another word, Collins!” snarled Darcy, preventing Collins from speaking again.

As he was angry enough to beat the man within an inch of his life, it was fortunate when the colonel again stepped into the breach.

“I shall tell you, Mr. Bennet,” said he, glaring at the rector. “Collins, if you do not be silent, I shall join Darcy in administering the retribution you so richly deserve!”

Though Bennet had not thought it possible, Collins huffed but did not speak again, allowing the man to turn to Bennet.

In a few succinct words, he explained the situation, from Lady Catherine’s wish that the previous Mr. Darcy marry her daughter to the transference of her designs to Darcy.

Collins had not mentioned her name, likely because he knew Elizabeth would recognize it.

“He accosted me on the path, Papa!” said Elizabeth, interjecting into the narrative when it appeared Collins would speak. “The daft man said he would ruin me, then I would have no choice but to marry him, leaving Mr. Darcy for Miss de Bourgh.”

Bennet fixed a dark scowl on Collins, now understanding what had riled Darcy so. “Is this true?”

Collins drew himself up to his full height. “The dictates of my patroness—”

“Carry no weight here, Collins,” interrupted Bennet, daring the man to continue to make such a silly case. “What I wish to know is if you accosted Lizzy intending to harm her.”

A gasp came from behind Bennet, but while he identified it as his wife, he had no attention to spare for her. The glare with which he speared Collins demanded that he speak, and Collins did not hesitate.

“It appears the only way that she will desist.” Collins’s eyes raked over Elizabeth’s form. “Though I would not have such a woman for a wife, my patroness has demanded it of me, and I must obey. Somehow, I must mold her into a proper wife, not a welcome prospect for a man in my situation.”

His anger now matching Darcy’s, Bennet stepped forward and placed himself nose to nose with Collins.

“I agree with Darcy, for you are as stupid a man as I have ever met. To my good fortune and that of my family, I no longer need to endure you. Go to your room and gather your effects, for I will not tolerate you at Longbourn for a moment longer. You will leave this instant.”

Collins gasped as if betrayed. “You would remove me from the house and make me find my way back to Kent now?”

“That is what I just said. If I am not very much mistaken, these fine gentlemen are within a hair’s breadth of beating you to a pulp. Thus, you may suppose that I do you a favor, for I may just be saving your life.”

“What of—”

“I will not hear another word! The matter is none of your concern. Now that I consider it, I do not trust you so far as to allow you to return to your room.

“Mrs. Hill!” snapped Mr. Bennet, knowing his housekeeper would be waiting for instructions. “Take a maid to Mr. Collins’s room and pack his belongings, then have John deliver them to the drive. Mr. Collins is departing from Longbourn.”

“At once, Mr. Bennet.” Bennet did not need to look at the woman to know how satisfying she found his command.

Collins appeared unable to comprehend what was happening. “W-Where shall I go?”

“Meryton has an inn, Cousin,” said Bennet. “I care little what you do, so long as you do it away from Longbourn. Given your threats and your attempt to impose your will on my daughter, no man can blame me for acting to protect her interests.”

Mr. Collins’s glare turned to haughty contempt. “This is nothing less than a betrayal. I can see my father was correct about you.”

“Since I had not the tiniest jot of respect for him,” jibed Bennet, “I find myself unmoved by your displeasure. Any man with a lick of sense can understand that you have misbehaved. That you cannot see it shows how senseless you are.”

That was not the end of the matter, of course, for Collins continued to plead, whine, cajole, and demand.

When John, their footman, returned with Mr. Collins’s trunks, he joined Bennet and Colonel Fitzwilliam in forcing Collins from the estate.

Bennet had never met anyone so convinced of the rightness of his cause as Collins, for even his father had not been so pigheaded.

In the end, however, he departed from Longbourn with his trunk in hand for the mile walk to Meryton and the inn, and Bennet hoped he would be gone from the neighborhood by the following morning.

Until then, Elizabeth would remain at Longbourn, for Bennet would not risk the man coming upon her on a country lane with no help at hand.

WILLIAM, THE WONDERFUL man that he was, escorted Elizabeth into the house while her father dealt with Mr. Collins. As Elizabeth had escaped the parson’s anger and had managed a blow of her own, she felt little more than resentment for the stupid man’s actions.

“I cannot imagine a man so blind as Mr. Collins,” said Mrs. Bennet, her nerves getting the best of her emotions. “How could he think it right to enforce such unreasonable dictates on us all, and most of all Lizzy?”

“There, there, Maggie,” said Mrs. Darcy, soothing Elizabeth’s mother with the expert hand of long experience. “He is gone and will not return. Perhaps a tea service would help in settling overwrought nerves?”

Mrs. Bennet thought this was an excellent notion, for she called Mrs. Hill at once, and before Mr. Collins even departed from the estate, they were sitting with their cups in hand listening to the foolish man continue to berate her father.

As focused on Mr. Collins as she had been, Elizabeth had no notion that Mrs. Darcy and Georgiana had traveled with the gentlemen, though she supposed it was not surprising.

It seemed they had arrived while she was still making her way back to Longbourn with William, Georgiana’s position beside Kitty and Lydia a testament to her introduction to the rest of Elizabeth’s family.

When Mr. Bennet and Colonel Fitzwilliam came into the room after dispensing with Mr. Collins at last, William turned a glare on the latter, evidence that he had not yet mastered his anger.

“I know we spoke of it in jest, Fitzwilliam, but I cannot but suppose your aunt is fit for Bedlam!”

“You will receive no argument from me, Darcy,” replied Fitzwilliam. “Lady Catherine has gone so far beyond decency that I can scarcely comprehend it. When I return to London, I shall inform my father.”

“Do you suppose it will help?” asked Bennet.

Colonel Fitzwilliam grimaced. “Unless he has her committed to the asylum, she will be nigh impossible to control.”

“That is what I thought,” muttered Mr. Bennet, shaking his head. “We may have seen the last of Collins, but I cannot imagine Lady Catherine will not insert her opinion after learning of her lackey’s failure.”

“I dare say it is inevitable.” Colonel Fitzwilliam turned to Darcy. “I have every confidence in your ability to withstand her. There has been no word from my father about Georgiana’s guardianship, but you may act with my full authority until Father confirms the change.”

William gave a tight nod. “Trust me, Fitzwilliam, I will take great pleasure in throwing Lady Catherine from the estate. If she will not desist, I shall call the constable.”

Fitzwilliam barked a laugh. “That will set the cat among the pigeons. My father will appreciate your solution, Darcy, and he may even allow her to stew in a cell for a time awaiting trial for trespassing.”

Then Fitzwilliam turned to Mr. Bennet. “As I understand, Mr. Collins is your heir?”

“He is, much to my everlasting sorrow,” replied Mr. Bennet, shaking his head in disdain.

“Then have you ever considered recovering the property?”

Mr. Bennet regarded him with evident curiosity. “I have heard that such measures are possible, though I have not looked into them. My brother in Meryton, who is my solicitor, is ill-suited for such matters, and I do not have the means to engage a city solicitor to take such a suit to court.”

“You may count on my support,” said William at once. “Disinheriting Collins would benefit us all and would keep the estate solvent. Leave it to one of your other daughters, for I have no need of it; let us not allow it to fall into Collins’s hands.”

For a moment, Elizabeth wondered if her father would refuse the offer. Instead, he gave William a tight nod after considering the offer.

“Very well, Darcy. Do you have a man you can recommend?”

“I shall ask my father,” said Colonel Fitzwilliam. “He uses a prominent solicitor in London, who may know a man who can take up the case.”

“On the contrary,” replied William, “I shall introduce Bennet to my solicitor. Lord Matlock’s solicitor may not wish to take such a case.”

“I will tell my father what we discussed,” said Colonel Fitzwilliam.

“Excuse me,” offered Mrs. Bennet, appearing more tentative than Darcy could remember, “of what are you talking?”

“To recover a property is to set an entail aside,” said Colonel Fitzwilliam.

“It is a common practice with estates using older inheritance mechanisms that do not contain the full protections a modern document would include. With the right man possessing knowledge of such things, it should be possible to disinherit Mr. Collins.”

Mrs. Bennet appeared no less than dazed, for the entail had long been a source of grief, though Elizabeth’s connection with William had resolved that fear.

Elizabeth well remembered the unrestrained Mrs. Bennet from her youth, for her nerves had been the bane of the entire family’s existence.

To hear her talk about it, one might have thought Mr. Bennet was on his deathbed, leaving his wife and children with no way of supporting themselves.

With that, the general conversation in the room devolved to a wider variety of such discourse.

Georgiana and Kitty were getting on as they had done at Pemberley, and Lydia appeared interested in her new acquaintance and well on the way to becoming friends.

Jane was serene as usual, while Mary also sat near the youngest girls, injecting an occasional comment when she had the chance.

Mrs. Darcy, Elizabeth noted, was sitting next to Mrs. Bennet, and from their earnest conversation carried by Mrs. Darcy, Elizabeth thought she was engaged in calming the last of her mother’s fears.

Likewise, her father was standing beside Colonel Fitzwilliam, their discussion serious and animated.

For her part, Elizabeth sat by William’s side, enjoying his company, grateful they had defeated the specter of Mr. Collins and would no longer need to endure him.

“Tell me, Elizabeth,” said William after they had sat in this attitude for some time, “does Mrs. Younge appear more than a little sour?”

Unable to say she knew the woman to any extent—for they had spoken but little when Elizabeth had visited Derbyshire—Elizabeth watched her with as much circumspection as she could muster.

Within moments, she could see what William was saying, for the woman watched her charge with care, a grimace or a shaken head a testament to her disapproval.

“I cannot see what offends her,” said Elizabeth. “The girls are animated, but not so much as to be improper.”

Elizabeth turned to him. “Did she say anything to you out of our hearing?”

“Nothing of which I am aware,” replied William. “It is difficult to know what she feels, for she is taciturn, but Georgiana and Fitzwilliam have reported nothing to me.”

“Then perhaps it is nothing,” opined Elizabeth. “With the upheaval in Georgiana’s life, Mrs. Younge may be concerned with her wellbeing.”

Though Elizabeth knew she had not convinced him, William nodded and did not pursue the subject.

Elizabeth was enjoying their reunion, though not much passed between them; being in the same room, sitting together, and listening to her family speak was more than enough for her, for they had long been beyond the need to fill every silence with meaningless chatter.

If anything, the silences between them spoke louder than anything they could have uttered.

When, at length, the subject arose, Elizabeth attributed the delay to the excitement that afternoon; Mrs. Bennet must have been distracted to allow it to remain unaddressed as long as she did.

“Now, we must complete the last few points for your wedding,” said she, her manner turning businesslike.

“Though I agree that the safest course would be to see these two married,” said Mr. Bennet, his good humor restored, “I have no desire to endure wedding talk for the rest of the day.” Mr. Bennet turned to Colonel Fitzwilliam.

“Might I interest you in a game of chess? I cannot suppose you have any more interest in it than I do.”

As she thought he might, given his character, the colonel accepted at once, and the two men made their way from the room. William made no move to leave, content to remain in Elizabeth’s company; she lost no time in teasing him.

“What, am I to understand you will endure such talk as terrifies my father?”

“If it keeps me in your company, I shall endure much more than this. Besides, this will see us married as soon as may be; I have a vested interest in it, and as your father said, we should marry at once.”

“Of course,” said Mrs. Darcy, holding her diversion in though Elizabeth could see she wished to release it.

“If you were married, then Lady Catherine could have nothing to say on the matter and no way to separate you. Not even she would be so senseless as to suppose she could insert her daughter in Elizabeth’s place. ”

“Though I have a high measure of respect for Lady Catherine’s ability to see what she wishes,” replied William, “I cannot disagree. Though it is only two weeks, I cannot but wonder if we should marry more quickly.”

“Nonsense, William,” said Mrs. Bennet. “We cannot rush these things. I am confident we can withstand whatever Lady Catherine attempts.”

William nodded, and they moved to the topics Mrs. Bennet wished to discuss. It was no surprise when everyone else in the room tired of such talk long before Mrs. Bennet was satisfied.