Page 44 of The Serial Killer’s Sister (The Serial Killer’s Daughter #3)

DI Walker’s face is as pale as Henry’s was that night. I wonder if it’s disbelief, shock, or downright revulsion that I’ve kept this from him. Indeed, that I kept this secret for seventeen years.

‘It was a terrible tragedy. It was so dark. Emotions were raging through me. I had this strange super strength – the adrenaline, I guess, and the things Henry said … I lost it, Detective Walker. I hated him in that moment and wanted him dead.’

‘But Kirsty got in the way. It was her who was pushed to her death.’ DI Walker drops to the ground, cross-legged in front of me.

Tears bubble, then fall down my face. ‘I’ve lived with the guilt from that moment on.’

‘Well, that makes it all right then.’ His head is in his hands, like he can’t stand to look at me now he knows what I did.

‘No. Nothing will ever make it okay. But I’ve tried, since, to do good. Live a life my friend would be proud of.’

His head snaps back up. ‘I imagine Kirsty would rather have lived her own bloody life, don’t you?’

I let his question hang between us. Nothing I can say now will make this better. Justify it in any way. What’s done is done. I can’t take it back however much I beg the universe, and I did that a lot in the early days after that night.

‘Where is Henry?’ I say, as a way to change the subject, but also because I’m guessing he must be somewhere close, watching this unfold.

I get up, swivel around, checking the treeline for movement.

‘This is what he wanted to expose; it’s why he wanted you here – so the police would know what I’d done.

So I couldn’t wriggle out of it, blame everything on him. ’

‘Like I assume you tried to do that night? Like you’d continue to do, if you had the chance. You’re a piece of work, Anna.’

I stare at him. ‘What? It was his fault. To begin with at least – he was the reason we were here that night.’

‘And he’s the reason you’re here now,’ DI Walker says. ‘He got what he wanted, I suppose. You’ve finally told the truth.’

‘Now what, then?’ I look into his eyes, wondering what he’s thinking.

Is he going to arrest me now? Right here?

He’s not moving, he’s not calling anyone.

Maybe he’s weighing it up. It’s not me who’s been murdering women for the past three years, I suppose.

It’s Henry he wanted help catching, not me.

If I’m careful, I might be in with a chance of being let off.

If I help him catch Henry still, will that buy me my own freedom?

All the possibilities scroll through my mind like scenes in a movie.

And all movies end with the bad guy being served justice, don’t they? Am I the bad guy?

‘I’m not a bad person, detective. It was an accident and I freaked out. Henry too. We made a promise to each other that we’d tell no one. What was the point?’

‘The point? Are you serious?’ His voice is suddenly so loud it rings in my ears, and I cower.

I should’ve expected his anger – I’m sure it’s been building, not only the past few days, but during this entire case.

He’s told me he doesn’t want to have to inform any more family members about the death of their loved one.

And now, what I’ve told him means he will have to.

He paces around the well, his hand rubbing his chin. ‘Who were you to make that call? Eh?’

‘I … Well … Her parents … they gave her up,’ I stutter, feeling under fire, but then I recover. ‘And yes, she had a brother who loved her, and it killed me to know he was going to suffer not ever knowing what happened to her.’

‘Not enough, though, clearly. And it didn’t kill you, did it. That’s a dumb thing to say.’

I cast a wary glance around me. ‘I think it’s going to.’

DI Walker sighs, then bites on his lower lip. He takes the few steps to the well and leans over. ‘So she’s down there.’

‘Yes, DI Walker, she is.’ I hold back the tears because I have a feeling that’ll irritate the detective further.

‘You might want to make that call for backup now. Get forensics and what-have-you on-scene. I’m not sure that Henry’s going to show his face.

He’s probably been hiding in the trees all this time and knows it’s game over for me. He’s got what he was after.’

‘Do you think?’

I’m surprised to see such sadness in DI Walker’s expression.

I suppose this isn’t the ending he was hoping for.

I hold my hands out towards him, my wrists together, but even as I stand with my past mistakes laid out, my vulnerabilities on show, I know it’s not everything. There’ll be more humiliation to follow.

‘Here you go,’ I shake my outstretched arms at him. ‘I get to go to prison, and Henry gets away with everything. Perfect.’

‘Not yet it’s not,’ DI Walker says. I narrow my eyes at him, unsure what he means. I feel a surge of hope that he doesn’t want to cuff me. That he thinks I’ve suffered enough. That he’ll let me go.

‘Sit down, Anna.’ He pushes my hands down. ‘I’m not cuffing you.’

Relief surges through me and I sit, more because my legs have turned to jelly than because he’s asked me to.

I close my eyes and all of a sudden I feel exhausted. ‘Thank you. Thank you.’

‘I’m not cuffing you because I don’t have any cuffs.’

My eyes spring open to see him reaching into his inside pocket.

My heart skips. What’s he doing? I don’t have long to ponder, because he’s already tearing a strip of duct tape off and coming towards me.

Shit. No handcuffs – so he’s going to use that instead.

He did say he was always prepared – although my mouth is itching to remark that he wasn’t that prepared, or wouldn’t he be carrying a set?

I swallow that smart-mouthed comment and instead hold my hands up again.

‘Fine,’ I say, letting out a deep sigh.

He laughs as he wraps it around my wrists. I wince at the sounds it makes as it peels off the roll. Another layer wraps around me, tighter than the last.

‘That hurts,’ I say, trying to pull away from it. ‘You can stop now; I think you’ve made your point.’

‘Like you did, you mean? By not reporting a death. That’s a hell of a point. If it were an accident, like you said, why didn’t you say something?’

‘In hindsight, there was likely a better option. At the time, I was young and really afraid and I couldn’t see one. And Henry—’

‘Oh, Henry, Henry, Henry!’ DI Walker blurts out, and I reel. ‘If I hear his bloody name one more time. You can’t blame him for it all, Anna. He was your younger brother. He looked up to you.’ He shakes his head vehemently.

‘I – I’m sorry, I don’t …’ I want to say I don’t mean to anger him, but I can’t finish my sentence.

This situation suddenly feels all wrong.

His demeanour is different. ‘Are the rest of your team going to be here soon? Or are you taking me to the station yourself?’ My voice quivers.

Adrenaline begins to course through my veins, sensing the fear before I actually feel it.

‘No one’s coming, Anna.’ DI Walker brings the roll of tape towards me – but this time, he slaps a piece hard against my mouth.