27

‘I know you returned my dowry.’

His hazel eyes lost their rich amber depth and became shallow mirrors. He rolled on to his back, and raised one knee, his foot flat on the crushed grass as one arm slotted behind his head.

‘As you said, it was your money. But I could not return the money I used to pay debts and support Caro.’

Mary rolled to her side, balanced her head on her palm and looked down at him.

‘I do not regret rescuing Caro.’ His eyes said, damn the consequences .

‘I did not ask you to regret it; I would guess neither John nor Papa would either. They will think it heroic of you.’ Her palm settled on his chest. Even through the fabric of his waistcoat, she could feel his heart beating.

‘They will think me a sop. A man has a legal right to beat his wife if he chooses to, and they gave me the money to protect your security not Caro’s.’

‘I think you returning my dowry unbalanced John’s opinion of you. He thought you without conscience, and then you did something that proved him wrong. He also thought you uncaring, but protecting your sister proves that wrong, too. He may have to like you now.’

‘Except that I did once proposition his wife…’ He smiled, wry amusement in his eyes.

Amusement lifted Mary’s lips. ‘Ah, yes, I forgot. You told me why, perhaps you could tell him. But that would mean admitting you care for his opinion.’

A smile parted his lips. ‘Are you mocking me?’

‘Perhaps. Why did you choose me over anyone else? If you were marrying for money in the beginning.’

His eyebrows lifted at the question and his smile fell. ‘I told you. The first time I danced with you I knew. You were the most beautiful creature. But I remember you do not like to be appreciated for your looks. Yet that is the truth and you wanted honesty. It was more than that though. You danced with me, smiled and talked, as though I were any other man. You were charming. Perhaps I fell in love with you then. Certainly, I chose you then. The impulse was immediate and instinctive.’

‘Except that during the waltz after that you asked Kate to share a bed with you. No more lies. I asked because I want to know the truth. Even if the truth is ugly, and merely because you liked my looks and money. I know it is not what you think now.’

His arm lifted from behind his head and his hand held hers against his heart. ‘It is the truth. I asked your sister-in-law out of spite. I told you so. I am not proud of it. It is another of my faults. If people expect me to behave badly, I have an incontrollable itch to infuriate them. I did not know I had fallen in love moments before because I have never known love. All I knew was that I was mesmerised by you. When I saw you after that, a strange emptiness always gripped my stomach. I procrastinated, for a whole season. I needed money, you had it, and yet you seemed beyond any hope. But you kept glancing at me and you gave me hope.

‘My bumping into you at that garden party was the only way I could think to speak to you, and when we met in that dark glasshouse my stomach was queasy with fear that you would reject me.’ His eyes shone light brown, gilded with gold by the sunlight. ‘But I should tell you the whole truth, I suppose…’

A frown creased Mary’s brow.

‘Since I danced with you the first night I met you, I have not bedded another woman. I may have said that to the Duchess, but since that night I have not wanted anyone but you. I wanted a monogamous marriage from the beginning, a love match. I wanted a faithful wife and to be a faithful husband.’

She slid her hand free and touched his cheek.

Andrew may have learned to love her, but he did not love himself. Probably because his parents had been so horrible.

He called himself an ass, she would call him wounded – but not aloud. ‘And I chose to go out with your friend…’ she said.

His eyebrows lifted. ‘It was crass of me to judge you badly for that.’ He caught hold of her fingers and kissed the tips. ‘I knew it then, but I saw his hand on you and it triggered something. It was wrong of me.’

‘In future may we always be honest with one another? I loved you from that first night too. You fascinated me. You were the only man there whenever you entered a room. I wish you had come forward and dealt openly with my father and told him the things you just told me, he would not have kept us apart. He always promised me my husband would be my choice. It is why John added to my dowry so my choice need not be restricted by a lack of money.’

‘Your father would not have wanted a bastard for a son-in-law, especially not one with a rake’s reputation.’

‘My father will not care if you tell him you love me. He only wishes me happy – and you make me happy.’

He kissed her fingertips, then his breath hot on her skin, he said, ‘I will tell him.’

She kissed his cheek. ‘You are kind and he will see it,’ she pressed a kiss on his brow, ‘and good – when you wish to be.’ She smiled. ‘Yet most importantly you are mine and I love you, and I will never be unfaithful to you. Nor will I share you, Andrew.’

‘When I took you away, when your father and your brother came to get you, I hated that you believed them and not me, and I was jealous of your love for them.’

‘I was hurt by what they said because I love you. I did not want to believe what they said, but you did not say a single word to deny it.’

‘My faults are legion. I shall apologise to your father.’

Mary kissed his lips, and said against them, ‘I love you.’

His fingers splayed in her hair and he kissed her for a long while, their tongues dancing.

When they drew apart, she snuggled down, curled against him and rested her head on his shoulder, listening to the bees gathering honey from the clover.

Then she remembered, she had not been wholly honest with him yet. ‘Andrew…’

‘What, Mary?’

She lifted his hand to her stomach. ‘This. You are to be a father. I am carrying your child.’

He sucked in a sharp breath of shock, and his hand lifted as he sat upright, leaving her to fall on her back on the grass, laughing.

‘God in heaven! A child! Mary!’

His eyes shone like amber.

‘ Would you have told me if we were apart?’

Mary smiled. ‘Yes. When I worked out how. Though, I would not have spoken with joy. But now we can be happy.’

‘Our child…’ His hand tentatively touched her stomach.

There was no visible change to her body, yet inside her a new life had been created. It was being nurtured.

‘And we will love it,’ she said.

Moisture glittered in his eyes, shifting emotions playing with his expressions, and tears ran onto his cheeks.

‘We will be a family.’ He smiled and wiped the tears away. ‘Is there an earthquake somewhere? I feel as though the ground is rocking.’ He looked into her eyes. ‘I promise you, I will love our child and they will know everything good that I did not.’

She sat up. His words held the strength of vows.

‘I feel as though something has broken inside me,’ he said. ‘It was hard, dark and cold. Now it is warm and light.’

He braced her face between his palms, wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs, and kissed her fiercely.

A gong was struck, the sound ringing through the air. It announced that dinner was about to be served.

She pulled away. ‘Oh goodness, do you think they have been waiting for us?’ She stood. ‘Do I look a state? Have I grass in my hair?’

‘You look beautiful. Happy. Your cheeks have colour and your eyes are bright.’

He stood and offered her his hand to help her up.

‘You cannot wear your coat.’ She bent to pick it up. ‘It is too creased. You must give it to John’s valet to see if he can repair it.’

‘I can live without it.’ He took it from her hand.

‘It is only John and Kate who know I am with child. I have not even told my mother and father.’

He smiled, wrapped an arm about her shoulders and pulled her close as they walked back to the house.