Page 190 of The Secrets of the Tea Garden

‘Johnny then?’ Tilly suggested. ‘Couldn’t you speak to him? He understands about India. Tell him what you told me about the Danny Dunlop affair. He might be able to treat you.’

‘Treat me?’ James said, aghast. ‘I don’t need treating.’

‘Well, I think you do,’ said Tilly more brusquely.

‘I just have to be a man and bear it,’ James said, his jaw tightening. ‘And I really don’t want to talk to my brother-in-law about it – much as I like Johnny. I shouldn’t have burdened you with it all either.’

‘But you have done,’ Tilly pointed out. ‘And I’m glad you did. I want to help you have peace of mind but I’m no expert. Praying for you doesn’t seem to have helped.’

James was touched by her concern. He knew she no longer loved him as she had once done. The moment they had looked at each other in the church as the music overwhelmed him, he had known it for sure. And the desolation he had felt told him that he no longer loved his wife. Yet she was prepared to put up with him and try to help him recover from his dark thoughts.

‘It’s just these ghastly dreams,’ he confided.

She gripped his hand. ‘Then do something about them,’ she urged.

‘What can I possibly do?’ he asked in bewilderment.

Tilly glanced away. He knew she was turning something over in her mind but dreaded what it might be. He waited for her to speak. After a long pause, she turned back and held his look.

‘If you refuse to go and see a doctor,’ said Tilly, ‘then I only see one other option.’

James tried to unclench his jaw. ‘What’s that?’

‘You have to confess to Danny Dunlop all that you know. Until you do,’ said Tilly, her hazel eyes filling with pity, ‘you will never be rid of your nightmares.’