Page 55

CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO

FRANKIE

My hair smelled like a baby. Apparently babies always smelled like babies, even seven centuries ago. I pressed my hands to my face and inhaled, trying to memorize that scent. I’d only gotten to hold him for a matter of minutes, but I was going to cherish that memory. When tears splashed onto my palms, I wiped my face then pushed my hands into the Seelie tunnel wall.

Bring me where I need to go.

The tunnel wall opened instead of the floor, so I hopped out. Then froze. I was back in the oasis. Our cottage stood right in front of me looking exactly the same way it did a moment ago. I cursed and spun back around but the tunnel opening was gone. I cursed. There was no other option than to go inside so I stomped up the steps and pushed the door open.

Everest stood a few feet inside. He froze mid-step like he was walking toward the door when it opened. His eyes widened. “It is you.”

I groaned. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I did wrong, I came right back?—”

“Mother?”

“Hi, Auryn?—”

“MEEMAW!” A little voice shrieked.

I jumped and turned toward the sound as a little boy half my height tackled my legs. He wrapped his arms around both of my legs and looked up at me with big black eyes. He blinked and his eyes were pink like mine. Then he giggled and his eyes were white and blue like Everest’s.

My breath left me in a rush. “ Raeven? ”

“YOU DO REMEMBER!” He squealed and bounced. “Mamman, she remembers me!”

I looked to Everest with wide eyes that were filling with tears by the second.

He gave me a small smile. “It has been five years.”

I crouched down so my face was level with Rae’s. “Look how big you are. Look at your eyes, they’re so pretty like your father’s?—”

“And he can’t control them yet.” Akecheta stepped out from around a corner. “He cannot go out into the world until he can.”

Auryn rolled her eyes, which were still the black they were when I was here last. “We’ve taken him into the world, we just cannot linger too long. He is working on it.”

“Why leave when this is home?” I grinned and ruffled his hair. “You know who I am?”

He nodded. “The paintings.”

“Oh, right, the paintings in my room?—”

“And the little one!” He spun away from me then charged into mine and Everest’s bedroom. Before I could even stand or ask the others what was happening, Rae was back. He clearly inherited that vampire speed. He grinned up at me, holding the printed picture I’d given them. “This painting. With baby me.”

“Baby you.” I held my arms out. “Can I hold you?”

He dove for me. For a few moments, I held onto him. I knew by the look on Everest’s face he wasn’t going to let me stay even as long as he did last time. It was both a blessing and a burden to have these moments. Bittersweet indeed. Because even if I assumed Rae was alive in my future, which I refused to accept a theory where he wasn’t, he would be a grown man by then. This would be my only chance to see him as a small child. But I knew if I stayed an hour, I’d want two. Never would it be enough.

Auryn buried her face in Everest’s shoulder and cried.

Akecheta crouched down beside us. “Hey Rae Rae.”

He pulled back. “Yes, Father?”

“Remember when I told you that one day you would meet Meemaw but you would have to say goodbye right away?” He ran his hand through his son’s hair. “Remember that?”

Rae nodded. “Can we have a new painting? I’m big now.”

“You’re so big.” I smiled and reached into my bag to pull out my printer. Once I had it plugged In and ready, I pulled him into my chest and took a selfie of us. When it printed out, I handed it to him. “Just for you, my little Rae.”

His eyes flashed every color of the rainbow like his father’s did. He grinned. “Thank you, Meemaw. Now everyone?”

I chuckled. “Okay. Everyone now.”

“I am still so perplexed by this device,” Auryn whispered.

The others remembered how to do it, so it only took a second to snap another group photo and print it out for them. Rae held our selfie, so I handed the second one to Auryn.

She sniffled. “Bittersweet it is.”

I hugged her. “And you all get the painful end of the deal. I am sorry for that. I am sorry for whatever led to my leaving you, but I cannot wait for our future.”

“ Five less years ,” she whispered.

I stepped back then turned to my soulmate. New tears filled my eyes. “I cannot tell if this is getting easier or harder. Every time I leave you is torture.”

He pulled me into his chest and held me tight. “I know of this torture you speak well.”

“I’m sorry.”

He kissed my forehead then gently pushed me backwards. This time I wasn’t surprised by it, so I didn’t stumble or crash into the tunnel wall. I stared at my soulmate for a moment but as the tunnel started to close, I turned to look at Rae. He would never be this young again.

“Bye, Meemaw, ” he whispered.

The last thing I saw as the tunnel closed were tears spilling down his little face. My heart broke. NO. I leapt forward, pushing the opening wide open again. I could give Rae a few more minutes. Surely that wouldn’t be the end of the world.

The moment my feet hit the ground I knew something was off. That I’d messed up again. There was snow on the ground. The air was cold and the sky was gray. As beautiful as the snow looked on the wisteria and cherry blossom trees it meant I’d failed. I wrapped my arms around myself and realized I still held my phone, so I quickly took a video of the oasis since I hadn’t gotten one of outside before. And it really did look breathtaking in snow.

I shivered and cursed. I hurried up the steps and into the cottage. A boy looked up from where he sat at the hearth. A strangled whimper left my lips before I clamped them down. The boy was Rae except he wasn’t five anymore.

He jumped up with wide, color changing eyes. “Meemaw! You’re back!”

“ Rae. My, my, look at you!” I hurried over to the hearth because I was freezing.

“I missed you.” He hugged me. “I’m ten now, Meemaw.”

“ Ten? ” I squeezed my eyes shut as I rocked him side to side. “I can’t believe how big you got.”

The front door flew open and slammed into the wall.

“ Mother, ” Auryn said with an exhale, like she’d been running. “You’re back.”

I grimaced. “I’m sorry, I know this has to be painful for you. I don’t know why?—”

“Father isn’t here.” Auryn grabbed the door and started to back out of it. “Do not leave, let me get him. Please.”

“I will wait?—”

She bolted.

I chuckled. “Because I cannot leave without him.”

“Your magic painting tool!” Rae grabbed my phone and started tapping on the screen. “Can we make more paintings?”

I grinned and sat down on the stone ledge beside him, with the fire of the hearth warming our backs. We snapped probably ten selfies with us making goofy faces. I’d just finished printing them all out when he grabbed my hand and started inspecting my rings.

“You like those?”

“Grandfather and Mamman have rings like these.” He cocked his head to the side and his eyes flashed pink. “Were they yours?”

“I gave them as a gift, so whenever they missed me all they had to do was look at their ring.” I reached up and kissed his forehead. “Would you like one?”

His eyes brightened and changed to match Everest’s. “May I?”

“Of course. What about this one?” I pointed to the gold band on my pinky with a small rose quartz on it. “This one might fit you right now and later you can wear it on a necklace.”

“Is that a rose quartz?”

“Yes, it is. Do you know about crystals?”

He nodded. “Grandfather has been teaching me. Rose quartz is a fierce defender of the heart, he said.”

My chest tightened. I pulled the ring off and slid it onto his thumb. “It’s said that if your heart is hungry, feed it with rose quartz.”

“Thank you.” His eyes shimmered then he gasped. “Wait here.”

Then he was gone, running out of the room and out of sight.

“He moves alarmingly fast.”

I jumped at the sound of Akecheta’s voice. I pressed my hand to my chest. “Dammit, dude.”

“Sorry, I’ve gotten used to moving quietly with these three around.” He laughed. “So, you came right back to this?”

I groaned and tugged on my hair. “I’m failing at this and all I’m doing is hurting them in the process.”

“No.” He sat down on the chair close to me. “It may seem to you like these seconds you’re with us are torture, but they are far from it. When you first leave, they cry. They hurt. It takes weeks to soothe their souls of the pain again . . . and then they are grateful. Especially as Rae asks questions about you. He is keeping your memory light in their hearts for the time being. In the long run, they are going to cherish these memories.”

I took a deep breath then let it out. There was too much to say to say anything at all.

Rae sped back into the room carrying something. When he stopped beside me, he held out a leather cord with a handful of shells strung onto it. “I made this from shells I collected at the beach.”

“It’s beautiful. I love the beach?—”

“Grandfather told me.” He reached up and slid the leather cord over my head. “Now you have a memory from me.”

“Oh, Rae. Thank you.” I pulled him in for a hug mostly so he wouldn’t see me crying. “I’m sorry I cannot stay with you.”

“It is all right, you have a special job to do.” He smiled. “And now I will have more to tell you when I see you again. When I’m big.”

I laughed. “We’re going to have a lot of fun when you’re big. As soon as I find where your mother has hidden you.”

He grinned. “Did you check Issale?”

I opened my mouth then shut it. “I have not. But I have met dragons?—”

“I love the dragons!”

We talked for a few minutes about dragons and Issale. I tried not to feel sad for Issale of the future. It sounded like there used to be dozens and dozens of dragons.

A dark shadow billowed from the side wall then Everest stepped out of it, dragging Auryn with him. His blue and white eyes met mine instantly. “You’re supposed to be finishing your quest.”

“I’m trying, I promise.” I stood. “I saw Rae crying and I guess I brought myself back here.”

Everest’s face fell. “ Celina. ” He rushed over and pulled me into his arms.

“My love?” Auryn’s voice held a sharpness in it that made both Everest and I look.

Akecheta’s lines flashed across his face. He flinched. “We must return to Issale. Now.”

Everest’s face paled. “Are you sure you will be safe there? With Rae?”

Auryn whimpered but she leapt over to Rae and waved her hand in front of his face. His black hair changed to bright, fiery red. His skin lightened and freckled. “Green or blue?”

“Green.”

She changed his eyes to green. “You remember how to control them, right?”

He nodded. “You match?”

She changed her own appearance to match his. “I match. Remember, your father is now our friend. You cannot call him —”

“I know, Mamman.”

Then I realized what was happening. They were going to Issale and arriving with new identities. “Rae, do you shift?”

He grinned. “I do. Mamman cannot.”

I looked to my daughter, my heart climbing up my throat. “Do they let you stay there?”

She dove for me, wrapping me in a tight hug. “Trust that I am safe, Mother. For you already know I survive to see you again.”

I kissed her cheek. “Be well. Be careful.”

Akecheta nodded to me from the door, but those lines kept flashing.

“Bye Meemaw.” He hugged me, then held up his thumb with my ring on it. “Thanks for my hungry heart.”

I held up my necklace. “Thanks for my shells. I love you. Now go. Be careful.”

Everest hugged all three of them, whispered words in another language, then sighed. “Look for me, for I shall come to you.”

And then they were gone. Everest just stared at the sky. I hurried over and leaned into his side, wrapping my arms around him. He held me tight. Then I noticed the giant eagle flying high in the sky.

“I have so many questions.”

“As do I.” He chuckled and looked down at me. He pulled me inside and shut the door. “Sit by the fire, your body has caught too strong a chill.”

My stomach growled in response.

He smirked. “I shall fetch you something to eat. Perhaps that Is why you cannot move where you need to.”

As he walked toward the kitchen, I couldn’t help but wonder about him and his life now. It had been over a century since I died, and I knew by the brokenness in his eyes when he looked at me that the grief still weighed on him. But he had a son-in-law now and a grandson. I wondered if they gave him peace. This oasis was full of new memories now, happy ones with life and little Rae’s laughter. I wondered what their life was like. Rae had been to a beach to collect shells and now he was going to Issale, I wondered where else they’d taken him. Or how many disguises he’d had and what his fake names had been. I wondered which animal he shifted into. His name was Raeven, so I wondered if he was a raven, his father was an eagle. And if so, was it a chicken or the egg thing? Did he turn into a newborn raven so they named him that? Or was it manifested? Or did Akecheta have a vision?

I wondered what Auryn’s life in Issale would be like if she was not a shifter. I had so many questions about Issale and what it was like seven centuries ago. Technically I was free to ask questions because it was all past tense. But I couldn’t bring myself to voice any of them. As Everest walked back over with a mug and a loaf of bread, I realized I couldn’t voice my questions because I was afraid they would cause him pain. Because most of my questions were about his life. I knew better than to think Sweyn wasn’t involved so I wondered how often he saw her. Or if he was living with her already the way he was in Avolire in the future. There were things I decidedly did not want to know, not yet, not now. But even while I didn’t want to hear, I found I hoped he was enjoying his life somehow. Did he have friends? Did he do anything for fun or enjoyment?

“What thoughts run through your mind right now?”

I closed my eyes and leaned into him. “You.”

“I cannot decide if I like that or not.” He held the mug out to me. “Drink. ‘Tis water. You feel dehydrated.”

Yeah, ‘cause I’ve been crying my eyeballs out. But I didn’t say that. I just brought the mug to my lips and drank. The water was cold and fresh, probably collected from the river outside. Once I gulped the entire mug full of water, he handed me the loaf of bread then took the empty mug. Normally I would’ve asked for about a pound of butter to slather onto this bread but now that I was holding it, I realized I was absolutely starved. I was several bites in before I realized he’d gotten up.

“ Everest? ”

He returned a second later carrying two mugs. When he sat back down, he handed one to me. “Try not to worry your mind or heart on me, my suffering will not be eased soon so you must focus your thoughts on your quest.”

I groaned and leaned into him, resting my chin on his shoulder. “I am trying but . . . I feel your heart hurting and?—”

“I know.” He turned so I slid into his chest. He ran his fingers through my hair. “I may miss you every day, but I harbor no anger toward you for leaving me, especially knowing you come back to me. You saved a lot of innocent lives in your death, for that I am proud. Please do not let your heart be heavy with this guilt, for it is already in the past. Focus thy mind now on how to complete your quest so you may end this war with the Unseelies once and for all.”

I will forever feel this guilt. But I nodded then closed my eyes and breathed him in. He rubbed circles on my back. I would’ve given anything to stay in this moment forever.

“Wake up, Francelina.”

I gasped and jumped—-and landed on all fours in the Seelie tunnel. “WHAT?”

Everest was nowhere in sight. I was alone in the tunnel. He must have knocked me out and threw me in here, he had a tendency to put me to sleep so it tracked. Wait. He called me Francelina. Past-Everest had only called me Celina thus far, so that meant the voice was my Everest.

“EVEREST!” I shouted and spun in a circle. “EVEREST?”

I dove for the wall — and crashed into a pile of autumn leaves. I spit a red leaf out of my mouth and pushed to my feet. My heart sank. The oasis. Again. I didn’t understand why I kept coming back here. Time had definitely passed because it had been winter last time and this was clearly autumn around me now. God, what an autumn this place is . It was the kind of beauty that was too beautiful to take a picture of.

With a curse, I hiked my dress and sprinted beneath the long swinging vines of the wisteria tree to the cottage. The front door was wide open, so I hurried inside then stopped short. A man stood with his back to me facing a wall lined with books. I froze, unsure what to do. Everest had said this was our secret oasis. Our home. I couldn’t imagine he would’ve welcomed another person here and risk endangering our family. But this man was as tall as Everest with shoulder-length blond hair.

“Hello?”

The man jumped and spun around. Wide brown eyes stared at me. Then they changed to pink. “ Meemaw. ”

I gasped. “ Rae? ”

He grinned and rushed over to hug me. “I am all grown up now.”

"Another one of your disguises, I did not recognize you at first.” I pressed my hand to his cheek. “How long has it been?”

“Mother insists it is easier if we do not change back and forth, less chance we accidentally reveal ourselves.” He sighed. “Ten years, it has been ten years. I am twenty.”

“I cannot wait to see what the real grown up you looks like?—”

“I can show you?—”

“No.” I grabbed his hands before he could throw magic at himself. “Your mother is probably right. Besides, gives me something to look forward to.”

He squeezed my hands. “Do you know me in the future? You know mother and father, and grandfather?—”

“If I met you I did not know it was you, and you did not reveal yourself. But I have to assume your mother and Everest have kept you from me intentionally.”

“I suspected so.”

I exhaled roughly. “I am not supposed to be here. I cannot seem to get out of our oasis now that I’ve found it.”

“It is a place unlike any other I’ve seen.” He frowned. “So, you have not completed your task?”

“No. Can you open the tunnel?”

He shook his head. “It is not safe. Mother and I are strictly forbidden, grandfather is terrifyingly adamant on the matter. King Atzaran would not hesitate to kill us. He fears only Lilith, which means only Grandfather is safe to enter the tunnels.”

“I suspected so.” I wrung my hands together and started to pace in front of the open windows. “Where is he?”

“The war,” he said softly.

I frowned. “Which war? Wait, what year is it?”

He narrowed his eyes. “1339?—”

“ The One Hundred Years’ War ? —”

“WHAT? ” Rae paled and swayed into the bookshelf. “One hundred years?—”

“Oh shit. Do not tell anyone I told you that?—”

“Told him what ?”

I gasped and spun at the sound of Everest’s voice. He’d asked me a question but knowing he’d just come from a war I had to run over and inspect him to make sure he wasn’t injured. Which was silly, I knew he survived yet apparently that didn’t matter. “Are you hurt?—”

“I am unharmed.” He took my hands in his. “What did you tell Rae?”

My eyes widened. “I accidentally let something slip out . . . but I do think it might break some rules of time travel so please do not ask me to repeat it. Rae will never speak it, right, Rae?”

“You have my word, Meemaw.” He pressed his hand to his chest. “Not until it is in the past.”

“Rae? Rae, are you all — oh. ” Auryn slid through the door behind Everest. She pushed her now brown hair and half turned toward the door. “Akecheta, did you know Mother was here?”

“Is she?” He barked a laugh. “So that’s why we needed to rush home.”

“You’re at war.” I groaned and dove for Everest, burying my face in his chest and wrapping my arms tightly around him. “I hate it.”

He sighed and ran his fingers through my hair. “I have survived a war before, I will survive this one. I assume you know which war we are fighting?”

I nodded against his chest.

“The higher powers of The Coven’s side know of my allegiance, secretly of course so they will not harm me. And Mother’s side would not dare betray her by harming me.” He cupped my face, forcing me to look up at him. “But you cannot be here. Lilith is here in the flesh. it is not safe for you.”

I whimpered.

“Mother, please. We do not even allow Rae to leave the oasis anymore. Not yet?—”

“What caused you to come back again?” Akecheta pursed his lips as those lines flashed.

“I do not know. I am not trying to be here. I want to go home and hug all of you in the future, I want to end this war—” My voice broke as frustrated tears pooled in my eyes. I tugged on Everest’s strange armor that felt like fabric, but I knew wasn’t. “I do not know why I am . . . stuck.”

“Close your eyes,” he said softly then pressed both of his hands to my chest. “Take a deep breath and think about where you need to go.”

I closed them tight and took a few breaths. In my mind I pictured Avolire. I saw Everest and that stupid throne of Sweyn’s. I imagined the decoy page I knew was in my bag. Bring me to where I need to be.

Cold air swept over me. I opened my eyes and found the green glow of the Seelie tunnel around me. I pushed my hands to the wall and —landed right where I had been.

“Dammit. How much time went by now?”

Everest scowled. “None. Thirty seconds.”

My stomach turned. “Shit, try again. I can do this. I have to do this.”

He pushed me back into the tunnel. I counted to ten then jumped out . . . into his arms again. I knew by their expressions no time had passed. I groaned and stomped my foot. Everest smirked and pushed me back in. This time I counted to thirty, yet when I stepped out, I was right back where I’d started.

We tried fifteen times.

It did not matter if I counted to three seconds or three minutes, each time I stepped out of the tunnel I returned to the oasis with them waiting for me.

Everest’s scowl was so deep it pinched the skin between his eyebrows. He ran a hand through his long white hair. “I do not understand. This is not how it should work.”

“Can we ask th—” I slammed my mouth shut. Thorne and Sage were not yet free of the curse their father put on them, so they were still the enemy. I tried to remember if the two angel brothers had been reincarnated yet or not, but I thought perhaps they were too young. “I don’t suppose there is anyone you can ask?”

Everest’s eyes were narrowed on me. “ You were about to ask me to ask Thorne and Sage, weren’t you?” he asked into my mind.

My eyes widened.

He sighed. “ Do not answer that,” he grumbled in my mind. “I do not have a safe source to inquire upon. Let me think for a moment.”

I leaned against the open window, letting the crisp autumn breeze try to soothe the ache in my chest. Everest started pacing the length of the cottage while tugging on his bottom lip. Rae, Akecheta, and Auryn were talking to him, but I heard none of it. They spoke English yet I didn’t process a word. The air was heavy and thick around me. I gripped the windowsill and took slow, steady breaths through my nose and out my mouth. A panic attack would help no one. My chest tightened with so much pressure it was like someone was sitting on me. My throat grew tight and hot, even swallowing was difficult. Tears burned the backs of my eyes. I tried to hold them in, but I was losing.

I just felt so . . . sad.

Suffocating sadness.

I wanted to curl into a ball and weep. I felt like the sun would never shine another day. the moon would never rise. My future was a dark, empty void of existence.

Wait a second. Why do I feel this way? That’s not how I feel. I glanced back to Everest, yet his expression merely looked worried and confused. What is this feeling then? I turned to the window and pushed my magic into my right hand to reveal my soulmate glyph. The crystal on the back of my right hand was dark blue. What does that color mean? With a silent curse, I dove into my magic bag and pulled out Tegan’s notebook. Luckily, the third page had a cheat sheet of soulmate glyph color meanings. Dark blue meant immense sadness. I looked back to Everest. He did not look sad.

Well, the sadness could be ME, butthead.

I leaned out the window to try and get more air when I spotted a shadow on the front step. It wasn’t a normal shadow though. There wasn’t anything to cause it, especially not with the angle the sun shined down on the front of the cottage. Actually, it was less like a shadow and more like a silhouette of a person. It reminded me of Peter Pan’s shadow that was almost its own person. I glanced to the others, but they were deep in conversation trying to figure out how to help me get unstuck. So, I strolled over to the front door and stared at the silhouette. It looked like there was a person sitting there.

It was calling for me. My feet carried me forward until I was sitting beside the shadow. My skin tingled on my right side, the side closer to it. That pressure in my chest was tighter out here. Tears pooled on my lashes. I swallowed through a hot lump of emotion. I felt the need to lean into the shadow— Everest. That feels like Everest. My eyes widened. I stared at the spot beside me like he would suddenly appear even though he was right inside.

Oh my God. He’s here. In the future, he’s HERE.

My pulse quickened as realization hit me.

“You can feel him,” Everest said from right behind me. His voice was thick. “Can’t you?”

“What did you say?”

He sat on the other side of me. “I said, you can feel him. Me.”

I ran my hand over the step on my right side. “It’s like you’re here, which is weird because you are here. I don’t understand how I can feel more drawn to this shadow of you than the you I can touch and see.”

He gave me a small smile and held my hand. His eyes were sad. “Because I am not your Everest, not yet. Your Everest is seven centuries in the future, and I assure you he is beyond himself with panic and grief.”

I looked up at him, but my words dried on my tongue.

He pulled me to my feet then lifted my hand so he could kiss my knuckles. “Focus on that feeling of me. Your Everest. You can feel me.”

“ Yes, I can, ” I whispered.

“Focus on him.” He flicked his wrist and the Seelie tunnel opened beside me. “Go get the page, Francelina, and go home to me.”