Page 69 of The Same Backward as Forward

“Maybe you’re bluffing.”

In ways she cannot even fathom,I am not bluffing. The pain is so bad right now that I do not know what I will do if she leaves before Jackson returns.

The darkest hollows of my mind whisper:There’s a bottle of pills on the counter.

“Bluffing.” I force myself to audibly savor the sound of the word. “Poker, then? One round.”

I need for her to agree, and for reasons thatIcannot fathom, she does. “One round,” she says. It’s amazing how much loathing she can pack into two words.

Thank you, H-A-N-N-A-H. Thank you for hating me. Thank you for staying.

“Five-Card Draw?” I deal the cards—five for her, five for me.

“Fine.” Hannah barely even glances at her hand. “I’ll take two.”

One thing about Hannah, I think. I just can’t help myself.She’s rational to a fault.

As little interest as I have in discovering anything else aboutwho I was before, old habits die hard.One thing about me, I think, taking in my cards.I know how to work a hustle.

I hold, keeping my hand as is, and I ask her what she would like to wager. She, of course, indicates that she has no interest in wagering anything with me. But I know her better than that.

“How about this?” I propose. “If I win, you give me a sheet of paper.” A modest request—purposefully so.

“What do I get if I win?” Hannah counters.

“Silence,” I reply. “Mine, for one full day.”

I expect her to drive a hard bargain, and I am not disappointed. “Two days.”

I incline my head. The hand I was dealt is decent, but I can tell from her eyes that she’s going to win this one.Good.

Sometimes you have to lose a few battles to win the war.

Chapter 7

For two days I say nothing. I onlylook, committing every last detail of Hannah’s face to memory. When I look at her, there is nothing else.

Her eyebrows are angled and thick, darker than her ash-and-honey hair, and they make her everything eyes appear even wider set than they are. Her cheekbones are sharp and high, her jaw too strong for conventional beauty standards and just strong enough to make me want to take it gently in my hands.

And her lips…

Until these days of silence, I had not lingered on their shape. They’re upside-down lips, twin Cupid’s bows on top and bottom, the lower one full in a way that makes me want to see it caught between her teeth. I don’t like my odds of that, though. There is no self-consciousness in Hannah. Nothing about her is coy. Nothing is unsure.

No matter how I look at her, she does not blush.

The lines of her neck are long. She is self-contained, wary but never frightened. She is Hannah, through and through.

Every so often, she meets my gaze, her own perturbed. I say nothing. I just keep looking at Hannah like looking at her iskeeping me alive. And when the days of silence she won from me have passed, I make my next move. “You work at a hospital.”

You have everything eyes.That is what I want to be saying, but I have enough restraint and common sense not to even try my hand at sweet-talking her and her strong, strong jaw.

“Brilliant deduction.” Her tone is withering. It suits her.

“You wound me, Hannah the Same Backward as Forward.”

“Don’t call me that.” She presses her lips together. Having made such a study of them these past two days, I am unsurprised to see that those lips can’t quite form a thin line. No matter her mood, there is nothing severe about Hannah’s mouth.

“Sounds like you might be interested in another wager,” I say. This one I will not lose.