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10

Ordus

My mate won’t stop shivering, and I don’t know how to stop it.

I’ve tried summoning my magic to raise my external temperature, but it’s using up my energy and making me swim slower.

I’ve cradled her close, right up against my chest. I’ve stroked her back, purred louder, whispered my undying devotion, and still, the deep crease between her brow remains.

I am at a loss. There is nothing more I can do until we get to our den.

It isn’t safe out here.

Some krakens prefer hunting at this time of night.

If they see me carrying a human, they will tell the Council and rally other krakens to have my mate killed.

My muscles pump harder, slicing through the stormy ocean, my human lungs itching for air.

My ears and suckers focus on sensing any danger.

There are several sharks in the area, but they wouldn’t dare come near.

I dislike swimming back into my territory from the mainland.

The further I get, the worse the water quality becomes.

It feels like dirt burrowed into my pores that needs to be scrubbed.

Cindi whimpers, and it’s like I’m being flayed.

I finally have my mate in my arms, and I am failing her.

Nothing has gone right, and the look she gave me when I shifted sits at the forefront of my mind.

Cindi is my fate-ordained mate.

Yet, I could hear her calling me an abomination without uttering a single sound.

I disgust her. My mate is disgusted by me.

I thought it would be different because the Goddess deemed it so.

She was meant to look at me with nothing but awe like she did the first time we interacted—before her scent went sour.

Before she feared me.

I’m just as cursed as my kingdom.

One was cast upon me by the Goddess to forever be nothing more than a disgrace to krakens, humans, and my own mate.

I’m meant to protect her, keep her safe, healthy, and happy, and what have I done since meeting her?

Five men have harmed her.

She’s cold to the touch, clutching her arm with a single, jagged scar running down the middle.

Fury simmers beneath my skin.

I grind my teeth, regretting everything about tonight.

I should have been gentler with her, talked her through what was going to happen, and explain that I, as her mate, would rather perish than cause her harm.

But my incompetence has also hurt her.

It’s unforgivable.

Yannig would have never allowed this to happen.

His mate would never have screamed or looked at him like he was the most hideous creature to have ever lived.

His mate wouldn’t have hated him.

I hold Cindi tighter, tearing my sights away from the darkness to look at her, wishing I could taste her sweet skin against my suckers again.

I will fix this. I’ll make her see being my mate isn’t her curse.

She will never have a reason to abhor me.

I’ll need to… I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in human form just so my mate finds my appearance tolerable.

But if it’s the only way my mate will feel something toward me other than loathing, it is a sacrifice I am willing to make.

For her. My Cindi. I can’t lose her and continue living this life alone anymore.

The solitude has developed its own pulse that will continue to beat when the rest of me has withered away.

I want to be someone’s priority, just once, even if it’s not because they want me to be.

The entrance to my den looms ahead.

I’m tempted to slow my pace to hold her for a little longer, but I do not want her to suffer.

I am a bad, selfish mate.

There is no thrill in having her in my space because I have done little to nothing to prepare.

Yet again, I have failed.

Always failing.

I glance down at Cindi, considering whether to seek out a healer to look at her hand.

We may not even have one of those anymore; it’s been years since I’ve checked.

They may have fled our territory to seek better conditions.

Diving closer to the sea floor, I scan the rocks littered beneath the cliff, spotting the large, oval stone.

The entire island is mine.

Other than Krokant, it’s the only other area with any biodiversity—except it’s not the kind me or my people could survive off.

The island has a different relationship with the Curse no one has bothered to figure out.

No other kraken nor creature but Vasz is permitted to enter it, though that doesn’t mean I trust my people or bandits not to try to access my den.

I hesitate before approaching the door.

Cindi will find our home lacking.

I had wanted to take out my finest treasures and line our bed with the softest moss.

I planned on stocking up on food so there would be no reason for me to leave after we consummate our bond.

Yet, I have none of those things.

All trivial matters.

My human is delicate and small.

Why do I not keep healing supplies?

Or bring fabrics from the mainland to keep her warm when I hunt?

My siblings would never have made such foolish mistakes.

Cindi deserves better than me.

My mate’s soft whimpers spear my soul.

This is all my fault .

I shouldn’t have been so reckless and impulsive.

The symbols engraved into the stone glow when I whisper the opening command.

It groans as it slowly rolls to the side.

The door slides shut behind me, encasing the tunnel in total darkness, silencing the roar of the raging storm.

I can navigate the channels with my eyes closed.

It has been many years since I’ve cut myself on the jagged edges sticking out from the rocks, but I still slow, careful to keep Cindi close so she doesn’t get hurt.

The first patch of glowing algae stirs my mate.

Some give off streaks of purple or green, even the occasional pink.

She peels her eyelids back to reveal her deep brown irises.

The soft blue light illuminates the hard curves of her face as we pass another patch, and I slow down before reaching the next group so I can soak in every detail of my precious mate.

Her lips part, and she sits up straighter.

Cindi’s gasp brings me more joy than she’ll ever know.

I spent years harvesting and planting the glowing algae, keeping it alive through the Curse.

My mother taught me how when I was very young, and it took a long time for me to get it right.

That my mate would appreciate it makes the years of work and frustration worth it.

Cindi’s eyes widen in awe as we approach my den, where the algae is abundant and brighter than anywhere else in my cavern system.

My mate is impressed by our home.

Maybe…maybe there is hope.

The magic air bubble around her head dissipates when we break past the surface of the water into the cave hidden beneath the island’s cliff.

Oxygen fills my own lungs, and my chest instantly feels less tight.

I carefully and reluctantly set her on the edge of the pool, missing the feel of her the second she’s out of my arms. She wobbles unsteadily for a moment, wincing when she places pressure on the hand she was clutching.

Silence floods the space between us, and I watch with bated breath as her eyes roam over our den.

It is…plain. There is nothing special about it.

No king would ever live in such barren quarters.

I never saw the need to improve it or have anything beyond the bare necessities.

Mutants have no need for nice spaces.

I moved from the palace the moment I could.

My human lungs could not stand spending so much time in the water.

In an alcove on the other side of the cavern is a shrine to Edea, the Sea Goddess, with a woven basket of jewelry dropped by humans, shells, and a jar of sand from a distant island where she was last sighted two hundred years ago.

A pile of coconut shells lies in the corner, leftover from the many times Vasz has come up here and forgotten to bring them back down to his little grotto off one of the shoots from the tunnel.

There are some human gadgets around the place I thought might be useful: chains, knives, some type of metal tool, a bowl, cups, a bag I can carry across my body, fabric I’m weaving into ropes and mats, and other random bits I’ve managed to find uses for.

I didn’t dare have keepsakes of my family on display.

I have enough reminders of my shortcomings, I refuse to add to them.

The treasures I’ve been gathering over the years are kept in another cave.

During the day, some light trickles in through the hole on the side of the den that leads up to the land.

At night, the only source of light comes from the algae threading through the crevices of the rock wall and around the pool.

Emboldened by her blatant approval of our den, I slowly move closer so she doesn’t notice.

Cindi blinks blearily at the algae residue glowing on her fingers.

Her gaze swings to me.

I puff my chest out and rise out of the water so she might look at me with the same astonishment.

I am big, larger than every other kraken I have met.

I am an adequate hunter.

I’m fast, strong. I have won every battle I’ve fought.

I have access to my people’s riches, and I am protected by virtue of being the king.

I flex my muscles and expand my chest, making myself larger so she can see I am a worthy mate.

Her gaze drops down to my partially curled fingers.

I may have been cursed with claws, but I have honed them into a weapon.

Cindi is smart. She will understand that.

But there is no astonishment, no awe or gratefulness.

Everything stills, silent for a heartbeat.

Then, pure horror flashes across her face.

I deflate, staggering back.

She isn’t meant to look at me like that.

My mate isn’t meant to find me revolting.

What is it that she finds wrong with me?

Do I lack the charm my brother had?

Or the lethal tact of my sister, so Cindi thinks I cannot protect her?

Is it my appearance?

My size? Is she disappointed I failed to protect her?

Our den?

It makes me sick to know if we weren’t destined to be together, she’d pick either of my siblings over me.

Or any other human but me.

Everything in my life has been by chance: the throne falling into my lap, my mother’s accidental pregnancy, even finding Vasz’s unconscious form on an island far from my lands after being attacked for the way he looks.

I am never a choice.

I am an unwelcome consequence.

Given the option, my people and every person on the Council would choose another to lead them.

My own mate would rather be bonded to someone who isn’t me.

The Curse requires my bride be willing, and my Cindi does not find me worthy.

She will not be willing.

More than anything, I know this to be true.

My hearts hollow as I watch my precious, beautiful mate scramble away from me, leaving the scent of her fear behind.

Her eyes dart around the cavern, landing on the human objects placed around.

“Cindi,” I start, but nothing else comes out.

The words are lost on me.

What could I say in this situation?

Apologize for my birth?

For the decision of the Goddess to bind our souls together?

What’s done is done.

There is nothing I can do to change our destiny.

One of my tentacles reaches for her.

“Get the fuck away from me,” she hisses, clambering back toward the rock wall with the human objects.

I feel sick. My own mate is frightened of me.

Oh, the Council would be laughing if they saw this.

Cindi grabs what I believe the humans call a wrench.

Her eyes jump to the tunnel beside me up to land.

I hold my hands up like I’ve seen the people on land do when they’re in trouble and slowly exit the pool to block her path.

She’s safer from the storm inside the cavern than outside.

Cindi is so small, I worry she may be swept away in the wind.

“I will not hurt you, mate.”

“Stay back,” she threatens, holding her makeshift weapon with one hand while the other remains tucked to her side.

My human is so precious.

She’s adorable to think she is the least bit frightening.

It’s hard to focus when the fabric of her dress is sticking to her, hugging every curve.

One of the ties has come undone, hanging her dress lower with the added weight.

The tops of her pert breasts peak above the teal, rising and falling with her heavy breaths.

My mating arm twitches when my eyes fall on the slit ridden up to the juncture of her thighs.

My eyes widen when she uses her good arm to throw the wrench at me.

It hits one of my appendages, then clatters onto the ground.

“Touch me, and I will tear you limb from limb, asshole.” Cindi bares her blunt little teeth at me and grabs the knife off the ground.

I don’t mind having a violent mate if it’s the only form of touch she offers.

“Asshole?” I echo. I’ve heard the word before but never understood why humans enjoy mentioning their anus in conversation.

Perhaps it is a form of offense?

Or endearment?

“Yes. You are an ass-hole for fucking kidnapping me, you fucking monster!” She swings the knife, pointing it at me.

Monster.

One of my tentacles develops a mind of its own, slithering along the ground to touch her, desperate to prove that I might be, but not to her.

“Don’t you dare!” Cindi cries, hopping away on one leg to avoid me.

Her bad arm swings back to hold her up against the wall.

It buckles the moment she applies pressure to it.

More of my limbs shoot outward to catch her before she can fall.

She screams, batting me away.

“Let go of me! Put me down!”

I scrunch my nose.

Cindi’s acrid fear stench reaches new heights when I pull her against my chest where it’s safe and she cannot hurt herself.

My chest rumbles with a purr, and I release the venom from my suckers into her skin to relax her.

The effects are almost immediate.

Her muscles incrementally unwind as she stares up at me in astonishment.

A tentacle dips beneath the top of her partially fallen dress and wraps around her upper body to keep her steady.

The sudden shift in Cindi’s scent slows my movement.

It’s warmer, spiced, morning mildew mixed with the sweet tang of fresh kelp.

My suckers contract, latching onto her skin, puckering around the small nub on her breast to taste her more clearly.

Her nipples stiffen into perfect peaks, and my breeding organ hardens.

She shivers, breathing hard—the good kind.

The type that brings hope to our damned situation.

Her lust permeates the air, and my nostrils flare, filling the smell into my lungs.

Blotches of red blossom along her golden skin as her rounded eyes stare up at me, lips parted wide.

My mate finds me attractive.

“Cindi,” I groan, sucking her nipple harder.

Her desire seeps from her pores.

I wind between her legs to smear the aphrodisiac over my limbs, the scent marking me as hers.

I feel drunk on her and the dream that she may say yes to me.

Maybe tonight, we’ll bond, and my life will change.

Her breathing hiccups as she squirms. “What are you—don’t? —”

A slight prick makes me pause.

I frown, looking down at a tentacle.

We both stare in silence at the knife sticking out of my limb.

My mate has… She’s marked me.

A mating mark.

Sparks skate across my skin as my sex arm begins to raise, seeking her out.

She’s accepting me—albeit, it’s not in the usual place, but I didn’t think this would really happen.

Liquid drips from my mating organ as I fight the need to bury myself in her delicious core.

Cindi’s forehead pinches in confusion when I cup her cheek and tuck her hair behind her curved, human ears.

She needs only say the words, and I will mark her in return.

“Thank you,” I rasp, blood soaring with elation.

“I would have preferred my chest or throat, so it is more obvious, but I suppose this will suffice. I will still wear it with pride. All will know I belong to you.”

I pull the knife out with my free tentacle and offer it to her.

The blade digs into my limb so she does not accidentally hurt herself, but the pain isn’t noticeable beyond the excitement of having her mark me as hers for the rest of eternity.

Her jaw drops. I like this Cindi much better—when she’s not fighting me and her scent is only tainted by her underlying anger.

And…she looks rather intrigued by me.

But my mate’s bewildered expression?

I can’t place the reason for it.

“You want me to stab you again ?”

“Only if you’re offering.” I try to hide my hope.

Cindi could engrave her name on my chest if she wanted.

“What the fuck?” She gasps.

“I will not force you to do it, but it would be my greatest honor if you did.” I dip my head.

I try not to notice my blood pouring onto her skin—I’m unsure whether she is the type who dislikes such things.

Still, it drives me wild knowing I am marking her in my own way, covering her with my scent so every creature knows this treasure is mine.

My sex travels over her body, leaking and spilling my seed all over her supple flesh.

Cautiously, her soft fingers curl around the handle as she timidly takes the knife from me.

She seems to be more settled when she has the weapon.

I will find her more if that’s what brings her comfort.

I release her face, lowering my hands to her back and waist. Then, I tip my head to the side to expose my neck and chest. Even if she wishes to mark my cheek, I will be the happiest kraken in existence.

My Cindi can do no wrong to me.

Instead, the joy of having my mate in my arms is severed when she slowly says, “Put me down and take me back home.”

Her steady confidence makes my chest swell with pride.

Then, her words settle in.

My forehead wrinkles, and my tentacles clutch her tighter, refusing to let go.

My sucker puckers hard around her nipple, and she jolts, perfuming the air with her sweet arousal, but her expression is tense and unhappy.

Why did she mark me if she wanted me to take her home?

Humans make no sense.

“I cannot do both. To return you, I must hold you.”

Cindi makes this thrilling squeaking sound when my tentacle latches onto her other nub.

I can still taste her lust on my tongue, but her skin is dampening with fear.

It lessons as I release more of my venom, making her body relax further like I wanted to in the water, to treat her injured arm.

“Fine. Then do it.” Her voice is just above a rough whisper through her gritted teeth.

“We’ll go back tonight.”

I dip my head once.

“No, thank you.”

Manners are a human value, are they not?

See, I do not need Yannig to tell me how to speak to my mate.

Like a gentle kraken, I keep my suckers exactly where they are, even though it is the greatest torture.

My suffering means nothing as long as it brings her pleasure.

Cindi tries to wriggle away, but my suckers refuse to let go, inadvertently pulling at her breasts.

I relish in the way her lips part on a silent gasp.

My sex winds around her leg, rubbing my seed over her skin.

It takes all my strength not to inch closer toward her heat.

My tentacles move with her as she lunges forward and presses the blade against my throat.

Her fearsomeness almost makes me smile.

I say a silent prayer to the Goddess that she breaks skin and leaves a scar.

My mate would never kill me.

I hope.

“I won’t let you take me to your fucking spaceship,” she hisses, her injured hand resting limp yet stiff on one of my limbs.

My brows knit together.

I did not see any fresh cuts on it.

Is my venom not helping?

Is it a bone issue? Maybe healing it will be one of my first acts as her mate.

“My…” What is a spaceship?

Oh, I believe I understand.

“My boat is small and would leave you exposed to the elements. I mostly leave it by the hut.”

She blinks.

“You mean to tell me aliens have no fancy technology?”

I am…

confused. An alien? How does finding me unfamiliar impact technology?

“I have magic.” Is that what she’s referring to?

Cindi’s eyes dart around the den.

“Like crystals and sage and stuff?”

I point to the wall.

“I believe it is pronounced rock and algae .” Maybe I’m getting my English wrong.

“No, that’s not what I—” Cindi tightens her grip on the knife as she returns her glare on me.

She wavers, slumping forward lightly, like the energy has suddenly been sucked out of her.

Is she sick? What’s wrong?

Do I need to find the healer tonight?

“Tell me what is wrong with your arm,” I demand.

In a matter of seconds, she rights herself, crackling with the same fire like she didn’t have a moment of weakness.

“What are you then?” she presses, disregarding my question.

I study her carefully for signs of the Waste.

Her eyes are slightly sunken, but her skin doesn’t have the green tinge, and the whites of her eyes are clear.

It would be far too soon for the water to make her sick.

It would take months to years for it to affect her.

Is it a human sickness, then?

Her skin isn’t hot to the touch.

What else should I look out for?

“Kraken,” I answer.

“Like an octopus-squid thing?” She scrunches her nose, seemingly fine.

I frown, attempting not to take offense at her insinuation I’m dimwitted.

“No, like a kraken.”

“You know what? Never mind.” She shakes her head, pushing the serrated edge of the knife harder against my throat.

“I don’t care. Just take me back.” My mate’s tone sharpens.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“I cannot let you leave.” Ever.

Her eyes search mine, scent turning bitter with fear, chasing away any evidence of her lust. My lips tic, and I suppress the urge to growl.

We were making headway.

She was beginning to understand.

Why is she upset again?

Cindi lowers her voice.

“Are you…” Her voice holds vulnerability I don’t like.

“Giving me to them?”

I snarl.

I wouldn’t give her to anyone.

She flinches and turns her head to stare at the ground in a sign of submission.

It makes me angrier.

She is my mate. I am hers.

I may be the king, but I bow to her, and she bows to no one.

Between us, the only one who will submit is me.

“I would never give you to anyone, Cindi. Any man who touches you will die. I have killed for you before, and I will kill for you again.”

“I don’t want you to do that.” She shakes her head, voice barely above a whisper.

I would take her violence and her fury over her fear and sorrow.

I grasp Cindi’s face between my hands, and something shutters behind her eyes.

I’ve seen it happen twice before when I touched her with my fingers.

She shoves me away like I burned her.

“It is my duty, a privilege, to spill blood for you, mate.”

Does she think I am incapable of it?

That I’m unworthy of protecting her?

Well, she is now my sole purpose, whether she wants it or not.

“Why won’t you stay?”

“I—I don’t belong here. I don’t care about what you think you’re entitled to.” She hiccups like she’s fighting back tears.

“I don’t know you. You don’t know me. We don’t owe each other anything.”

I hold her face again so she might truly see me.

“You are my mate. There is nowhere you can go where I won’t follow. This is our den, so this is where you will stay. You will be happy and want for nothing. I will take care of you. I am all that you need. You are mine, and I am yours. Fate deemed it so.”

And one day, if I am lucky, Cindi will grow to love me too.

Something in my chest splinters when she flinches, averting her gaze.

“I want to go back. Please.”

Why must she fight our bond?

“I forbid it.”

The lines of her face harden.

“You can’t forbid me from doing anything. I—I’m not something that can be owned. I won’t let that shit happen to me.” Finally , the blade breaks the skin of my neck.

“ Take. Me. Back. ” Another prick pinches my tentacle, and I glance down to see the knife protruding from another appendage.

Oh.

It wasn’t a mating mark.

My mate was trying to hurt me.

“I don’t want you,” she spits, glaring at me with the same seething hatred as every other kraken I’ve met.

Those four words hurt far more than a blade.

I lower her to the ground and move back.

I can’t look at her.

I thought I might be able to withstand such scrutiny from my own mate, but it’s too much.

I’m underwater and can’t breathe.

Turning away, I slip into the pool without looking back at her.

I was wrong to think my own mate might want me.

No one ever has, and it was a fool’s hope to think Cindi would.

She doesn’t think I’ll ever be enough for her.

I shouldn’t be surprised, because my family thought so too.

They loved me, but they never thought I could hold any kind of leadership position.

I’ve always questioned if it was a result of my appearance or because of what my appearance did to me.

It’s clear it never mattered.

The Goddess’s curse upon me is mine to bear.

Not even my fated mate can break it.