Page 40 of The Ruse of Romancing

Mason

If there was a more panic inducing sight than a woman bursting into tears, I’d yet to find it.

“Hey, now, it’s okay. We can clean up the mess. I promise,” I said, picking my way through what appeared to be flour all over the kitchen floor and reaching for Dani.

She backed away, her hands held up to ward me off.

“Don’t touch me. I’ll get this all over you.

This is what I get for trying to do something nice for you and bake.

But you took me to Powell’s, and I didn’t know any cool art museums to take you to, so I thought I could bake you bread.

I should have known better, but Joane promised I could do it if I just followed her instructions.

Clearly, she overestimated my skills in the kitchen, and now I’ve probably murdered Dough-ris Day’s loaf. ”

I only followed about half of the words that spilled out of Dani in a torrent of tears. Ignoring her protests that I would get flour on my hoodie, I pulled her into my arms. It only took a moment for her to relax and fully accept my embrace, burrowing in closer.

I rested my chin on her head, letting her cry as I breathed in her familiar strawberry scent combined with the smell of flour in her hair.

“It’s okay. I don’t need bread, and we can easily clean this up, I promise.” I rubbed gentle circles on her back until her tears subsided. “See, it’ll be okay.”

“I’m such a mess. I’ve probably scared you away.” She gave a pitiful laugh as she pulled back and wiped at the tears and mascara tracks on her face. “Now it’s your turn to look a mess in front of me, even the playing field a little.”

If she only knew. And she would know, soon.

In fact, I’d decided to tell her tonight, rip the Band-Aid off and let the cards fall where they may.

But seeing her tears for a second night in a row, I hesitated.

I couldn’t add to the burden of this moment.

Maybe I’d wait, even if it was the coward’s way out.

“I’m far from perfect. I have plenty of messy moments, trust me. And it takes more than a messy kitchen to scare me away.” I promised, caressing her cheek to wipe away a smudge of mascara she’d missed. “Now why don’t you get cleaned up while I take care of the kitchen.”

“No, you’re my guest! I made the mess. I can clean it up.” She went to step around me to the sink, but I blocked her path.

“I’ve got this. Go take care of yourself and be thinking about what movie you want to watch. I’ll order takeout and we can have a quiet night in.”

She bit her lip, studying me for a moment. “Are you sure?”

“Positive! Now go.” I gave her a gentle nudge out of the room, and she disappeared down the hall.

I looked around the kitchen one more time, hands on hips as I assessed the situation and tried to determine the best plan of attack.

As I took in the dough blob on the counter, I couldn’t help but feel an odd sense of warmth.

Sure, the attempt had failed spectacularly, but Dani had wanted to make me sourdough.

It might be the kindest thing a woman had ever done for me.

And I was lying to her face.

I pushed the thought away, grabbing the washcloth from the sink, and got to work cleaning the kitchen. I’d tell her, just as soon as I found a way to prove to her that, no matter how this all started, I truly cared about her.

I hoped it would be enough. It had to be.

Later that night, Dani and I sat snuggled on the couch watching an old movie she’d dug out from my grandma’s stash of DVDs tucked into the hall closet.

She was almost as excited when she found the DVD as she was when she’d realized I was taking her to Powell’s the day before.

I might have been offended if it wasn’t so fun to watch her face light up as she talked about the magic of Pillow Talk .

“Doris Day is gorgeous, and Rock Hudson,” here she stopped, shaking her head, “that man knew how to play a love interest.”

The movie only partially held my attention at first as I took advantage of the opportunity to pull Dani in close, playing with her hair and sneaking occasional kisses.

“You’re distracting me,” she half-heartedly protested as I nuzzled her neck while Rock Hudson’s character attempted to cram himself into a too-small car.

“If you turn your head a little further this way, I can distract you even more,” I said, pressing my lips to her ear.

“Shh! Some of the best parts are coming and you’re going to miss them,” she said, laughing and scooting away from me.

I looped an arm around her waist and pulled her back toward me.

“Fine, I’ll be quiet, but you can’t sit over there. It’s too far away,” I said, resting my arms around her shoulders. I hardly recognized the man I was becoming with Dani in my life. I couldn’t get enough of her: her smiles, her laugher, her touch. And I was terrified I would mess everything up.

With Dani snuggled in close, the movie began to hold my attention, the conclusion rapidly approaching.

As I toyed with Dani’s bracelet, an accessory that I had learned was a gift from her cousin Poppy, the plot started hitting a bit close to home.

In the movie, Jan Morrow was just finding out the truth about Brad Allen, and my gut clenched as I watched her storm away.

“Would you forgive Brad if you were Jan?” I asked in a whisper, genuinely curious.

“Depends,” Dani said, clearly distracted by the movie she’d told me she’d seen more times than she could count.

“On?” I asked, needing to hear her answer and know if she’d ever forgive a man who lied to her.

“How good of kisser he is, obviously,” she said with a smirk and a knowing smile.

“I’m serious,” I said. I was being ridiculous, but I needed reassurance that I hadn’t ruined my chances with Dani completely.

This relationship had gone beyond the possibility of designing book covers to something more.

Forget about my past with Rebecca. Forget about rules surrounding summer flings and dating tourists.

I was falling for Dani, and I needed to know if we stood even the smallest chance of this becoming something real.

Seeming to sense my desperation, Dani paused the movie and turned to face me fully.

“You know, I’ve thought about it, and I genuinely don’t know.

It’s easy to cheer for Brad and Jan on the screen, when I have no stake in the game.

And I’d like to think that I believe love will win, no matter the circumstances.

But I can’t deny I’d be hurt if a guy lied to me this much.

” She bit her lip, her forehead scrunched in thought.

“I’d probably forgive him eventually. Though he’d have to earn it. ”

I opened my mouth to respond, to finally come clean. But the words stuck in my throat.

Instead, I shook my head, mumbling something noncommittal, not ready just yet.

I needed more time. More time to prove to her who I was, regardless of what name she called me. More time to be with her. More time to ease her into the truth.

An idea started to form. Maybe if I could get her away from here, from our easy routine and the familiarity of Cascade Harbor, I could break the news to her, help her see that whether she called me “Allen” or “Mason”, I was the same guy who had come to genuinely care for her.

My grandparents had flown to Utah to visit my mom and brother for a week and had asked me to stop by their place to check on things.

What if I took Dani with me to their house?

We could get away, go somewhere neutral to talk.

I could tell her the truth without the constant risk of someone from town blowing my cover.

With my grandparents gone, there was no danger of them showing up or of anything else throwing off my plans with Dani.

“Hey, Dani,” I asked slowly as she pressed play on the movie and the story in front of us continued to play out. I entwined my fingers with hers, needing all of the physical contact I could get. “How would you feel about an adventure away from Cascade Harbor?”

“Like to Portland?” She asked, her eyebrows pinched together. “Because we definitely already did that.”

“I was thinking a bit closer than Portland, like my grandparent’s place. They’re out of town for a few days, and I need to stay close to keep an eye on things. But I don’t want to spend time away from you.”

Her face softened at the invitation.

“I don’t know. That seems kind of fast.”

“We’ll have separate rooms, and if you want to come back early, I’ll drive you home. I promise. Please, Dani?”

She hesitated a moment longer before nodding.

“Okay, but only if you’re the one who calls Avery and breaks the news to her. I’m not telling her I’m skipping another writing day. I’ll probably have to kick you out right after the movie to make up for the lost writing time.”

I relaxed back into the couch, content to finish the movie now that I had a plan to tell Dani the truth. As the final credits played, she gave a contented sigh.

“There’s just something about that movie that makes me happy,” she said. “The costuming, chemistry, humor, it’s all just so good!”

“Just forget about the parts that don’t translate well to our current moment,” I said, a couple of scenes in particular coming to mind.

“Hey now, don’t be bashing on my favorite movie!” Dani straightened and grabbed a throw pillow, playfully whacking me with it.

“I’m not bashing it. I’m just observing that not all aspects of cinema age the same.

” I grabbed the pillow, preventing her from hitting me with it again.

“The same could be said for most creative endeavors. Things change so fast in the design world that I cringe when I look back on some of my earlier stuff.”

She settled back into my side, looking up at me. “Well, if they’re anything like the sketches you showed me on the beach, I bet they’re still wonderful.”

“You’re a bit biased,” I said, tapping her nose. “But I appreciate the sentiment.”

“I’m not biased. Though, I haven’t seen much of your work, so I can’t really speak to your full skill level. When are you going to show me more? I’d love to see some cover concepts, give me something to pass onto Avery for consideration.”

Her question had my conscience twinging, thinking back to the goal that had started this whole deception. As my feelings for Dani had grown, I’d been hesitant to show her my work for fear it would just make things worse when the truth came out.

“I’ll show you soon. I promise.” Just as soon as I told her the truth and could ensure she wouldn’t hate me for the rest of my life.

When I first started designing, chasing this crazy dream of supporting myself with my art, I’d thought there was nothing I wouldn’t do or give to succeed. Now, if succeeding meant losing Dani, I wasn’t willing to pay the cost. I just hoped I could help her see that.