Page 11 of The Runaway and the Rugged (Dusty Meadows #1)

EMELIA

“ I can’t marry him.”

I’d finally said it out loud. The words that had been plaguing me for weeks now, I finally let them out. Though I was unable to stop the tears from falling, there was nothing more liberating than breaking free from the hold Nathaniel had on me.

Fucking terrifying, yes, but I felt as though I could finally breathe again.

And Garth, the ruggedly handsome, still not sure what to think of him, rancher was currently staring at me like he had no clue what to think or do about the new revelation I had just confessed. He looked at me like I had grown two heads.

His thick eyebrows had slammed together in confusion, while his eyes searched mine for answers.

For an explanation.

On a sigh, I planted my bare feet onto the ground before lifting myself off the rock. Every muscle in my body protested, yet I still powered through.

“Whoa, hold on there,” he quickly rose from his kneeled position and steadied me with his hand wrapped around my arm. Peering down at my feet, then shifting his attention back to my face, I noticed a growing look of worry flash across his face.

Maybe even a little agitation.

“All right, now’s the best time to explain what the hell is goin’ on in that head of yours, Outlaw.

What do you mean you can’t marry him?” He sounded genuinely concerned, which was surprising given our initial meeting.

It could be that my emotions were all over the place and I was experiencing an adrenaline high that was yet to crash out, but even then,

“I can’t go back there,” I admitted again. “All of this.” I pointed to my now ruined ten-thousand-dollar wedding gown, then gestured to all around us. The mountains, the painstakingly beautiful scenery, it seemed almost laughable now.

I had just ruined my life in the most beautiful place that existed.

“I should have never let it get this far. I should have never said yes to him.”

He stared unblinkingly, emotionless, or maybe he was just digesting it all. I’m sure it wasn’t every day he came across a runaway bride. Or just women in general, considering how terrible he was at presenting himself.

With his hand still encircled around my arm, he used his free hand to remove the cowboy hat from his head. The movement was definitely practiced and seemingly flawless as it had me locked in a daze.

I nearly gasped at how magnificent he looked up close. It should be illegal to look that good. All sweaty with overgrown dark hair tossed haphazardly on his head, but it was the thick mustache that had my brain misfiring in all directions.

Something about it made my stomach flutter.

Nathaniel tried growing a mustache once, but it never looked like that.

Full, bristly, how one should look.

“You need to tell me that this isn’t just nerves. You need to be fuckin’ sure that this is what you want.” He laid it all out as if there was no turning back from this.

Was I sure?

My heart hammered violently like I wasn’t. That was always the problem, I was never sure about anything. And even when I was, I’d never make it known.

Until now.

I was finally at my breaking point, every worn-out thread I had now ruptured and unsalvageable. Seven long years down the drain. Seven long years of being his trophy girlfriend, following and keeping my pretty mouth tightly shut.

Wetting my lips, I peered up at Garth. “I’m sure.”

His nostrils flared in response, and as he nodded firmly, I felt the smallest relief of a weight being lifted from my shoulders.

I wasn’t alone. Even if he was just the grumpy rancher who found me, I at least had someone. Though he looked less than thrilled by it, being stuck in the middle of my mess, something in his eyes told me he wasn’t going anywhere.

“Where do I need to take you?” he asked, prompting my stomach to sink even further than it already had today.

My face immediately went hot under his piercing gaze. Formulating any sort of logical answer seemed impossible when he was looking at me like that.

Searching.

“I… I’m not sure.”

I knew I didn’t have the strength to confront Nathaniel, let alone the hundred guests who were presumably growing impatient waiting for the ceremony to begin. Even chancing it seemed risky, but what other choice did I have at the moment?

I was in a vulnerable position with little to no options, and if it weren’t for Garth stabilizing not only my body, but my turbulent emotions, I’d undoubtedly fall apart at the seams.

“You’re not sure,” he repeated.

“You don’t have to repeat what I say. I know what I said,” I grumbled, knowing if he did it again, I’d lose it.

“Look,” he sighed heavily before dragging a hand through his perspiring hair, “all I’m tryin’ to do is help you here. If you don’t want to go back to all your friends and family, we won't. But I need you to tell me in words what you want.”

Tell me in words what you want.

Nathaniel never asked what I wanted, instead he always just assumed or either didn’t care. It was a pattern that became so ingrained into my everyday life that I had just willingly accepted it as normal.

And now, hearing someone say exactly what my fiancé never bothered to ask made me feel so much more confident in my decision.

“Where else can I go? All of my things are still there, and Clarke…”

Shit.

I’m sure she was going crazy with worry more than anyone else.

“We’ll figure it out,” he stated matter-of-factly.

Gruff.

The confession ran much deeper than Garth realized. I had nowhere to go, even after leaving the ranch. I had nowhere to stay, no money, no resources, I would be starting all over again.

And the realization hit me like a sack of bricks.

Was I being too impulsive?

“Oh god…” My stomach twisted in the most nauseating way. The blisters on my feet choosing this exact moment to start throbbing as a flood of uncertainty began to wash over me. “What am I doing?” I panicked, my hands seeking comfort into the disheveled curls on the top of my head.

Garth immediately released my arm, all the while watching me succumb to a mental breakdown.

“I don’t know, what are you doing?” He eyed me like he had no idea what was happening. His dark brows were tightly pressed together, likely trying to figure out why just only a few moments ago I appeared calm.

“I don’t have a job,” I blurted, immediately wishing I could take it back. “I have no place to stay, no car, no money, nothing… I can’t even remember the last time I had to worry about being able to afford groceries.”

I put my situation into perspective, trying to give Garth a little insight as to why I was freaking out. It wasn’t as if I had something to fall back on. I had nothing and no one.

“You’ll figure it out.”

My heart flipped, causing a sarcastic laugh to slip free.

“You don’t know that.”

How could he? Look at the predicament I had gotten myself in.

“You don’t seem like the type of woman who’ll let herself fail.” His words acted like a cool balm, covering every square inch of any doubts and worries that were directly tormenting me.

He couldn’t possibly know that. He didn’t know me. If anything, he was witnessing a side of me that even I was unfamiliar with.

Bottom lip wobbling, I was teetering on the edge of falling apart again.

“How could you possibly know that, Garth?” I tested out his name with a hint of hostility, sparking his eyes to ignite. “For all you know, that’s all I am. One big, giant failure.”

He didn’t look amused. If anything, his face went back to the blank scowl he originally held when he found me.

Lips tight and stare weighing me down.

“Is that what you are, Outlaw? A failure?” he questioned harshly. Then taking a strong step forward, he invaded my personal space, giving me only inches to breathe.

“No,” I ground out, hating how unsure my tone sounded.

Our eyes were in a standoff. Intense, unwavering, completely inappropriate for how close we were, but that didn’t stop us. I couldn’t turn away even if I wanted to, but the more seconds that passed by, the closer I was to buckling under the pressure.

My mouth started to tremble again, slowly at first, then unmistakable. Garth quickly broke our connection to peer down at my lips, a mixture of worry and anger catching fire in his eyes.

“I don’t know,” I whispered, tearing my gaze away from his to focus on something other than the way he made me feel. Humiliation like no other began to creep its way up my neck. Red-hot anger tore through me, but everything came to a sudden halt when Garth broke through the silence.

“Bein’ a failure ain’t a bad thing like you think it is.

Not in my book, anyway.” His words prompted my head to turn back in his direction.

“We all do it, heaven knows I’ve done it more times than I can count when it comes to my daughter…

” He trailed off on a heavy sigh. “We take risks, we make mistakes, we fail, we learn, we fuckin’ grow. It’s what makes us human.”

Normally, I wasn’t this open, let alone with a practical stranger. Not even with Nathaniel was I ever this transparent, but right now, all the thoughts I’d been harboring over the years were spewing out of me like a waterline break.

There was no stopping me now.

“I’m taking a big risk here, Garth.” Though I understood and connected with his words, it didn’t prevent my rational thinking from gaining complete control.

A stern look then crossed his face.

“Are you, though?” His low rumble of a voice swept through me, wrecking me entirely. “What are you really risking if you never wanted to marry him in the first place?”

I wanted to say everything, but in reality, those were the inner thoughts of a woman who was terrified of failure. Who was terrified of starting over.

But before I could respond, a muffled voice breached the rigid air around us.

I could barely make out the words, as they were cloaked in static, but whoever it was sounded frantic.

My eyes immediately sought out where the sound was coming from, and when they landed on his waist, I lifted my brow high in question.