Page 50

DENVER

“Fuck!”

I leave the front door wide open as I race into my bedroom, toss my towel on the floor, and grab a pair of sweatpants and sneakers, tugging them on in a crazed panic.

“I’ll be back,” I shout to Lizzie as I tear through the living area where they are.

“Everything okay?” she calls after me as I run down the hallway.

“I hope so,” I call out as I burst into the external corridor and sprint toward the elevator.

I punch the button. “Come on, come on.” I slam a fist against the panel. “Fuck!”

I turn and shove through the door to the stairwell instead, taking them three at a time as I grip the handrail and fucking fly down to street level like my life depends on it.

She depends on it.

I can’t allow her to leave thinking something is going on with Lizzie. That’s just… Fuck…

I spot her, pressing the key fob for her car as she hurries over to it.

My hand slams the driver door closed before she manages to crack it further than an inch.

“I do that,” I pant, my chest heaving as I drag in much needed air.

She whips her face in my direction, her mouth so close to my own as I crowd her body from behind, trapping her between me and her car.

“You’re not my bodyguard anymore,” she says, turning to open the door again.

I slam it closed again.

Oh, she’s pissed. I’ve seen her like this countless times over the years. Only when she’s extra quiet like this, devoid of emotion, it’s not only because she’s pissed. It’s because she’s hurt .

“Sinclair.”

“Let go of my door, Denver. I want to leave.”

My jaw clenches as she avoids my eyes. I suck in a deep breath, my nostrils flaring as I open her door for her, standing back so she has space.

She puts her coffee mug into the holder and then bends and scoops Monty up from where he’s jumping at my legs trying to greet me.

She lifts him into the car carefully and tells him to stay.

She straightens back up, stiffening as I step closer to her.

“Please, listen to me. They came to talk to me about something important.”

“It’s fine. You don’t have to explain right now. Go back upstairs. We’ll talk later.” She finally turns and looks at me properly, taking in the fact I’m shirtless in the street.

“No,” I grit. “We’ll talk now!” I jab a finger down at the sidewalk to accentuate my point. “We’ve put off talking for too long. We should have told your father about us by now. And that’s the first thing we’re going to do as soon as I tell you what’s going on with Liz and Dix.”

Her pupils dilate, and I swear she looks pleased at my outburst.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” I frown, expecting some push back. This is Sinclair. She’s always got something to say about everything.

“We tell my father as soon as possible, I agree,” she says.

“Right,” I murmur, studying her.

“Does she still love you?”

I grimace at her question. “What?”

“Lizzie. Does she still love you?”

“No, it’s not like that between us.”

“Do you still love her?”

I’m stunned into silence as she stares at me, waiting for an answer. Her eyes grow glassy, and she turns to slide into the car.

“Sinclair?” I pull her up against me, my hand curling around her hip. “I’ve never been in love with Lizzie. Why would you think that?”

“She’s Dixie’s mom.”

“And?” I search her eyes and understanding dawns on me. “Princess, Dixie isn’t my daughter.”

Her brows furrow as she processes my words. “But I asked you if you’d ever lost someone you love, and you have photos of the two of them all over your cabin? She’s always texting you and it’s the closest you ever get to smiling when you open one of her messages.”

I ease her a little closer to me so I can wrap my other hand around her opposite hip and look into her eyes. “She’s Rick’s.”

“Your friend in the photo?”

I nod. I’ve mentioned him by name once, yet she remembers.

“The cabin’s his too… or it was. Now it’s mine.”

“ Was his?” Sinclair searches my eyes.

“Yeah, was.” I let out a sigh. “He was my best friend. We enlisted together after my grandparents died. He pulled me out of a dark place. I wouldn’t be here without him. Dixie’s his daughter. And Lizzie was his girlfriend. They’re going to visit his grave today.”

“You lost him?” Tenderness swirls in Sinclair’s eyes.

“I did. We all did.”

She parts her lips, then closes them again, all of her fight seeming to evaporate instantly. She’s silent as she gazes into my eyes. And I get it. People don’t know what to say when you’ve lost someone.

“Will you tell me about him?” she asks.

I look back into her understanding eyes.

Fuck, this is Sinclair. She knows what this feels like—the suffocating grip of grief.

How it wraps around you like a dark, heavy cloak some days, catching you off guard.

It’s not the days you expect. You’re ready for those: anniversaries, birthdays.

It’s the unexpected ones. Like hearing their favorite song on the radio, or catching a scent that reminds you of them.

Or picking up your phone to share something with them, only to remember that no matter how many times you call or text, they won’t answer anymore.

They’ll never answer again.

“What do you want to know?” I ask, softly, reaching up to dust my knuckles across her cheek. My heart somersaults with relief when she leans into my touch instead of moving away.

“Anything. Everything,” she whispers.

“Get in the car,” I say softly.

She nods and climbs inside. I close her door and walk around the hood, climbing into the passenger seat. The moment my ass hits the fabric, Monty scampers from Sinclair’s lap and into mine.

“Hey, Monty,” I say, fussing him until he flops happily inside my arms. He rests his head against my chest, his tongue reaching out to deliver slow licks against my flesh.

Sinclair watches him with shining eyes. “He missed you.”

“I missed him too.”

She bites her lower lip as I rest my head against the headrest, my face turned toward her.

“I love you, Sinclair.”

Her eyes widen.

“Before I say anything else I need to say that. I love you. I’m in love with you .

” I smile softly at her, and she stares at my mouth, her voice failing her.

“I love you, Princess,” I say again. “I’m so fucking in love with you, it physically hurts me right here when you aren’t close to me.

” I tap two fingers against my chest and Monty takes it as an invitation to lick my chest again.

Sinclair’s eyes crease with fondness as she watches him with me.

“You love me?” Her breath falters.

“I do.”

“But—”

“I’m smiling, so it must be true,” I say, loving the way she’s gazing at me in wonder.

“You are,” she muses, studying my mouth.

“I’ve never been in love before,” I say.

“Neither have I.” She looks at me, and I know I have to keep talking before she says something that I’ll want to grab on to and protect with every breath that’s in my body.

Because it’s time I told her everything.

She deserves to know. And if she’s about to say what I hope she is, then I’ll be too busy feeling like I punched the fucking moon to even speak if I don’t get it out first. It’s been years since I’ve told anyone.

The last time was when Jenson came to work with me.

“I had no one to go home to after I signed up. My parents were gone. My grandparents were gone. I’m an only child. So I used to spend every holiday with Rick and his family, and Lizzie,” I begin.

Sinclair’s eyes fill with tears.

“Don’t get upset, Princess,” I soothe, hating seeing her sad, especially because of me.

“I’m fine. Rick and Lizzie became my family.

She was studying to become a nurse when we were last on deployment together.

She found out she was pregnant before we left.

She asked me to look after him, and I…” I roll my lips, pressing my fist to them as I pause.

“It’s okay,” Sinclair encourages gently.

“… I promised her I’d keep him safe,” I whisper.

“Denver,” she breathes, suspecting what I’m about to say.

“We were ambushed.” I clear my throat, keeping the emotion that’s bubbling there from surfacing.

“He was hit by shrapnel from a rocket launched grenade. It ripped through him, tore him open and I tried to…” I glance at Sinclair, then shake my head.

She doesn’t need the mental image of what it’s like to keep your friend’s guts from spilling out of his body.

It’s more than I can bear to recall most days.

“He didn’t stand a chance. He died in my arms before backup arrived. ”

“I’m so sorry,” she whispers.

“I didn’t go back. I couldn’t. Everything reminded me of this void that losing him had left behind.

I lost faith in my ability to do my job.

I didn’t trust myself to keep my other brothers safe.

” I scrub a hand around my jaw and stare out of the windscreen at two joggers who run past. “I came back and took time off until Dixie was born. I was the first person to hold her, after Lizzie. She insisted. She never once fucking blamed me for what happened to him. Not once.”

“Because it wasn’t your fault,” Sinclair says.

I lean back against the seat, all the energy draining from me like a bag of water that’s been slashed open.

“Denver, it wasn’t your fault,” she repeats, laying her hand over my forearm. I drop my eyes and stare at it, needing something to focus on so I can get my words out.

“I came to work with your father when Dixie was three months old. He asked why I left Delta Force, and I told him. I told him everything. How Lizzie had put school on hold, how I wanted to support them financially. Rick would have done the same for me.

“Before I even made it home from the interview, Lizzie had a realtor call her, congratulating her. She had a house with a yard bought for her in a nice neighborhood, and a live-in nanny set up so she could go back to school. And I had a voicemail from your father telling me the job was mine, but that if I didn’t want it, I could still keep the ‘signing bonus’ he’d sent. ”

“That’s…” Sinclair gasps, then breathes out with a soft laugh. “That’s exactly the type of thing my father would do.”

“He’s a good man, a great man. And I’m lying to him.”

“I’m sorry I put you in a position where you had to.”

“Don’t.” I allow my eyes to rake over her face, taking in every soft millimeter of skin. “This isn’t on you. It’s on me. And we’ll tell him. As soon as Liz and Dix leave, we’ll go over and tell him together, okay?”

“Okay.” A softness has seeped into her expression, and she’s turned in her seat to face me, mirroring my position.

I take her hand in mine and entwine our fingers. Monty sighs, his warm body creating a comforting weight in my lap.

“Do you want to come inside and meet them properly?”

Sinclair’s brow wrinkles and she bites her lip, looking unsure. “Don’t you have stuff to talk about? You said it was important?”

“They’re moving to LA.” I don’t manage to hide the heaviness in my voice, or the way that my entire body sags. “Liz has a new job offer. It’ll be amazing for her. And for Dix.”

“But you said they’re your family? How can they go and leave you behind?”

I frown. “I…”

“They asked you to go with them, didn’t they? That’s why they came?”

I flick my eyes to meet hers, then have to look away again. “Yeah.”

“Do you…? Do you want to go?”

“I…” I inhale slowly. “I’ll miss them, that’s all.” I look back at Sinclair. “I’m not leaving you. Or your family.”

Her lips curl into a gentle smile. “I know.”

I exhale slowly, the pressure that began in my chest the moment Lizzie told me about her plans easing for the first time. “Good. As long as you know that.”

“I do.”

She watches me carefully as I lift our joined hands to kiss inside her wrist.

“I love you, Sinclair,” I rasp against her silky skin, kissing her again. “I love you so damn much, Princess. I’m not going anywhere.”