Page 55 of The Rogue’s Embrace

Toren laughed.

This, he had not expected. He could tell from the first moment he saw Adalia that she was not experienced in bed. How she held her body. Slightly rigid at all times. Not with the ease of a woman that owned her own body through and through.

But she had not shied in the slightest to his tongue. And her body was very, very good at giving his body exactly what it needed.

"Yes, we can. But you must give me a few minutes."

She bit her lip, her green eyes glowing at him. A few minutes apparently not soon enough for her.

He chuckled, freeing his arms from her body. He grabbed her hands, pulling her forward to slide off the arm of the chair. It was upholstered, but still, the bar of wood had to have been digging into her flesh. Not that she looked like she minded. She looked, quite frankly, like she would sit in that exact spot for the rest of her life if it meant she would get to enjoy what just happened again and again.

Motioning her to the chair, he went over to the side table by the window, pulling free the stopper in the brandy decanter.

He looked over his shoulder at his new wife as he set rim to glass. "I would not normally ask this of a woman, but you are…unconventional…because of your brothers and how you were raised."

Tucking her feet underneath her on the wide chair by the fireplace, she looked up at him, her gaze cautious. "In what way?"

Curious that she didn't scurry for the cover of a sheet or that monstrosity of cloth she was dressed in earlier. She sat, naked, the fire enough warmth for her body.

"Do you drink brandy?"

She laughed. "Fair enough. No, actually, I do not. I tried it once long ago when Theo slipped me one too many drams in a night. I thought I had far too much to prove, so I sipped and sipped and sipped away. It turned out Theo got everyone exorbitantly foxed that evening so he could finally win the bulk of the wagers."

"Wagers?"

Still gripping the thin neck of the decanter, he turned fully to her.

"We would have grand nights of gambling—baccarat and hazard and whist and piquet—my brothers and I."

She settled her forearm along the arm of the chair, leaning toward the fire. Smooth and languid, her body had shed much of its inherent rigidness. "Except Theo never won, and it drove him insane. Alfred and I were very good at recognizing tells. And Caldwell bullied his way to wins. So Theo finally got his win that night, and while my two older brothers fell to the brandy and slept, I was left with my head over a chamber pot."

Toren cringed. "The bugger—that sounds like something Theodore would concoct."

"Yes—exactly."

She smirked. "But he received his vengeance in full—he had to tend to me vomit after vomit—it went on for six hours. The stench was atrocious and he had to wash it from my hair. Justice was more than served."

She shook her head, her nose wrinkling. "So no, I do not drink brandy."

"Claret, then?"

"Yes, please."

Toren turned to the table, pouring her a ruby red glass of wine. Grabbing her glass and his own of brandy, he walked back to the hearth, handing her the claret. He sat on the wingback chair opposite her, stretching out and crossing his legs on the low ottoman between them.

Her gaze dropped to the fire as she sipped the wine. He took a swallow from his own glass, studying her. She had angled her arm in front of her breasts. Modesty creeping into her consciousness. He didn't care for that.

She looked at him, her eyes traveling in a careful line from the fire to his face, avoiding everything below his neck. "How did you know Theo? I do remember him mentioning you with the name ‘Dell' but only in passing. I still don't understand how or why he would have asked this of you."

"Asked me to watch over you—marry you?"

She nodded.

Toren took a sip from his glass, then set it to balance on the top of his thigh. His palm went up to sit atop the rim of the glass, forefinger tapping along the edge. "I do not have an answer for you, Adalia. He never told me the why. What I can tell you is that Theodore was my friend—my only friend, truth of the matter."

A disbelieving smile crossed her face. "Surely not your only."

Another second, and the smile slipped from her face. "You only have one friend? And it was Theo?"

"Had."

Toren nodded. "And yes, Theodore was the only person I considered a friend. He was also the only person I knew at school, or as an adult, that did not approach me with an ulterior purpose at the ready. The ducal title is the reason for my interactions with all people. It always has been. What they need of me. What I need of them. Everyone in my life has always either been paid to be there, or had hopes of some gain."

"Why—"

She coughed, her hand flying up to cover her mouth. It took her a moment to recover, a sip of wine helping. "Why, that is awful, Toren—pure and through."

"It is a reality that I have always lived with."

He shrugged. "I hold no ill will to the fact, as I came to terms with it long before I knew any different."

She took another sip of claret, still clearing her throat as she nodded. "I can imagine why Theo was your one friend then—he always cared so little about titles or power—or money, for that matter. Only about his next adventure. Only about the fun—or trouble—he could manifest."

Toren's eyes glazed over. "Yes. Never once did Theodore ask me for a favor in all the years I knew him. He only asked that I participate in life with him."

Adalia smiled, nodding. "Theo was infectious, wasn't he? He did not think there was such a thing as a bad idea. He would do anything—and he never plotted with regard to any caution. I imagine you did help him with that?"

His cheek lifted in a half smile. "There were a few scrapes I extracted him from. But he never asked for the help—never for a favor, save for this one."

He flipped his forefinger in a circle above his glass.

"Me?"

"Yes. And my vow to him was the only favor I have ever granted where I did not gain something in return."

"A truly benevolent act on your part?"

Her eyebrow cocked, grin lining her lips. "What could have ever possessed you to make such a magnanimous promise?"

He heard the light sarcasm in her voice but did not bow to it. Instead, Toren's voice notched lower. "Theodore was my only friend. It was the only thing he wanted of me. So I knew you were the most important thing to him."

Her breath caught, and he could see how his words had cut into her. Opened a wound he had not intended to poke.

A broken smile reached her lips. "For all of Theo's wild ways, he loved me best of all. I knew that."

Tears welled in her eyes, glistening in the light from the fire. "He was supposed to come home. Not in a box."

"I agree."

Her eyes dropped to the fire, her lips pulling inward as she fought tears. Admirably, they did not spill from her lower lashes.

After taking a long sip of her claret, she looked to him. "I fear I have lost all taste for nudity this evening."

Toren inclined his head. "I understand."

Adalia unfurled her legs from their wedge on the chair, and she walked across the room, setting her glass on the bedside table as she picked up her nightgown. She didn't put it on, holding it instead in front of her body.

Walking back over to him, she stopped by the chair he sat in. "Do know that I did enjoy what you did to me tonight, and I…I hope it continues."

"Beyond the bed chamber?"

Lines creased her forehead. "What do you mean ‘beyond the bedchamber'?"

Toren shook his head, standing so he could look down at her. Now was as good a time as any to tell her. "We are married, yes, but I do not want to encourage emotions between us that will do neither of us any good."

She exhaled through a relieved smile, meeting his look. "If you think I mean to fall in love with you, Toren, I assure you, I have no intention of doing so. I wish you no harm."

"Harm? How could that possibly harm me?"

"Everyone I have ever loved, save for the twins, is dead. Everyone."

Her words held no sadness, only resigned acceptance. "That is a lot of death that swirls around me, and I would rather not add you to the list."

"You think you are cursed?"

"I am not willing to prove it any further."

She offered him a smile, her fingers curling tight into the ruffles of her nightgown, the only barrier between their nudity. "I am willing to bear your children, Toren. Nothing more. Though I hope we are amiable. Which should suit you well, as I don't believe you wish for anything more than that from me."

Relief cut through him. If Adalia was truly being honest with him, he could not have hoped for a more appropriate wife for his needs. He gave silent thanks to Theodore on that accord. "On that, you are correct, Adalia. I do not wish for anything more than an affable marriage. It pleases me we are in accord on the subject."

She gave him one nod, tightening the fabric in front of her across her chest. He wondered how she was going to clutch it to her backside when she exited.

"Excellent. Sleep well, Toren."

He inclined his head to her, taking the last swallow of brandy from his glass.

She turned, walking toward the door that joined their chambers. Toren watched her move away, noting she didn't bother to wrap the nightgown around to her backside. Her long red-blond hair in waves swung slightly with her steps, the tips of it brushing the top curve of her buttocks. For some reason he could not name, the very fact that she did not fully hide from him pleased him beyond measure.

She stopped at the door, turning back to him. "Forgive me, Toren, but curiosity has gotten the better of me."

His eyebrow cocked. Curiosity in a woman was never good.

"Why is it that you do not want me to love you?"

"I cannot return the love."

Her eyes drifted downward and she nodded, more to herself than to him. Her look shot back up to his eyes. "Why not?"

Toren needed no time to prepare an answer. He'd had this conversation before. The words came from him, practiced and impassive. "I do not know what love is, Adalia. I know what I need in life. But love—that is something I am not capable of."

"Because of how you grew up?"

"What do you know of that?"

"I have gathered that you grew up with one cold governess and one indifferent solicitor that served as your guardian and watched over your assets. A very lonely upbringing."

He eyed her, attempting to piece together who she had been talking to. "I was raised as appropriate for a boy in my position."

She didn't argue his statement, but her head tilted to the side, and her astute green eyes went calculating. "Just because you were never loved, Toren, does not mean you aren't capable of it."

"And just because I was never loved, Adalia, does not mean that I yearn for it."

She exhaled, nodding, and slowly turned to the door, exiting his room.

Yes. They were, indeed, very different.