Page 21 of The Rightful Highland King (The Last Celtic King #4)

"That all depends on yer behavior," Maeve interrupted, cold distrust in every word. "What ye are here depends on ye yerself. How much can ye trust that?"

Nessa tightened her arms around herself. That was not a question to which she wanted to think the answer to. "I dinnae understand what ye want," she said finally in a small, strained voice.

"What do ye want?" Breana asked kindly.

"I'd be interested tae ken that as well," Maeve added. "What do ye want?"

It was too much. It was far, far too much. The tightness she'd been feeling exploded and her carefully contained feelings towered over her in a threatening wave then crashed down, dragging her under the surface. She lost herself in a confusing tumult of pain and hurt and fear.

"I dinnae ken!" she shouted, her voice echoing around her skull, her eyes screwed shut. "I dinnae ken what I want anymore, all right? I dinnae ken anythin'. Is that what ye want tae hear?"

There was silence for a long moment, then footsteps. A gentle hand was placed on Nessa's leg. Nessa opened her eyes after some time and saw Breana crouched in front of her, looking up at her with concern.

"What do ye mean?" Breana asked. "Tell us."

Nessa shook her head. She wanted to cry, but she hadn't done so in years.

She wasn't even sure that she remembered how to do so.

"I… I spent me whole life believin' that the king would be our salvation.

That me father was a great man, and a strong one.

That me life would excel beyond me wildest dreams if I was ever given the chance tae be the next queen. But it's all wrong."

"Ye've gotten exactly that," Maeve observed.

"Aye, and what has it shown me?" Nessa asked bitterly. "Our father is dead because the king killed him. He branded him a traitor. Father was many things, but above all he was loyal tae Edric Ashkirk. How could he be treated this way?"

Breana sighed. "Father may well have deserved tae fall for his crimes," she said quietly, "But it should have been at the hands of his enemies, nae at the word of a man to whom he'd given everythin'."

"Or perhaps it was a kind of poetic justice," Maeve said acidly. "An eagle may tolerate a lesser seabird. It may even share its space. But it will still devour it when it becomes hungry."

Nessa unfolded her arm, gently but firmly pushing Breana away from her and staring straight at Maeve. "I ken ye didnae care for him, but our father was the only thing I had in the world."

"And who was at fault for that?" Maeve demanded. "Ye could have had sisters. Instead, ye sided with him, over and over again."

"He was me father ," Nessa protested.

Breana stood. "Maeve, please, dinnae?—"

"He was a monster! He sold us tae the Darachs. He hurt people for fun. He tried to kill Cailean!" Maeve shouted. "He tried tae kill me , right in front of yer eyes!"

Nessa closed her eyes again, trying to fight off the memories of that day.

She'd stood at the side of the stage, horrified and helpless, watching as the sister she'd tried to let escape had run right into the middle of the fray.

She had been uneasy about the execution already, but she'd been able to rationalize it in her mind.

But when her father had turned on Maeve…

She'd sworn she'd talk to him about it when he returned from Blackthorn Castle. She'd been sure he'd be able to make her understand, the same way he always did. But her father had never returned, and now Nessa was adrift at sea with no bearing.

"That's right. Close yer eyes tae it like ye always have. I dinnae ken what I hoped tae achieve here. Ye'll never ken right from wrong." Maeve was no longer shouting. She sounded tired and dismissive. "Breana, we should leave."

"Nessa, please," Breana started.

Nessa opened her eyes again and stood. All three sisters were now on their feet.

Anger and hurt pulsed through her, obscuring her thoughts, making it almost impossible to think or control her own words.

"Such a strong sense of right and wrong, Maeve.

Such morals," she hissed. "Tell me, do ye think they'd be the same if another man was the first tae take ye tae yer bed? "

A beat of shocked silence passed. Even Nessa couldn't believe what she had just said.

"Nessa!" Breana exclaimed. "That's an awful thing tae say!"

Maeve's expression twisted, then she spoke with nothing but disgust. "It's how she's always been.

We just forgot." She gave Nessa a look. "Ye can stay or go as ye like.

We'll protect ye. We'll care for ye. But ken this, Nessa O'Sullivan.

Ye ken nothin' of Cailean, nor of me, and ye certainly ken nothin' of love.

I'm beginnin' tae wonder if ye ever will. "

With that damning sentiment, Maeve spun on her heel and marched out of the room. Breana watched her go then turned to Nessa, looking helpless.

"What do ye want, Nessa?" Breana asked. She sounded like she was about to cry.

Nessa sank back into her chair. "A bath," she said. "Just a bath."

Breana looked like she wanted to say something more, but she simply nodded and said, "All right. Let me see what I can do. I'll send a maid up shortly."

Then she left, and Nessa was alone again.

Nessa lay flat on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. She hadn't moved from there since her sisters had left, and she was contemplating never moving again when the knock came. She'd almost forgotten that she'd ordered a bath.

"Come in," she called. "I think they left the door unlocked. Have ye come tae bathe me?"

The door opened. "If that's what ye want. I thought perhaps we should take a walk together before we get tae that point, though," Darren said laconically.

Nessa sat up straight, gasping. Her hand flew to her mouth as she spotted him there, leaning against her doorframe and watching her once again, just as he had the night before. She was about to ask him what he was doing there, but instead, she burst into laughter.

Darren grinned at her reaction and entered the room, closing the door behind her. "Good tae see ye in happy spirits," he said. "I was expectin' somethin' more maudlin. What has ye laughin' like this?"

She couldn't tell him that she was laughing at what he'd said and how close it was to how she'd imagined he'd react earlier.

Instead, she continued to giggle, enjoying the release of positive emotions for a change.

Darren simply watched her, bemused but pleased, until at last she calmed down enough to speak.

"What are ye doin' here?" she asked at last. "Ye'd better leave. I'm expectin' a maid."

"I came tae check on ye," Darren told her. "Maeve was havin' a rant tae Cailean a wee while ago, and I couldnae help but overhear. Sounds like it didnae go so well."

The lightness Nessa had felt from the laughter dimmed a little. "Oh."

"Cailean said she should give ye time. He reminded her how much she fought tae get ye here, even more strongly than Breana did. She was the one who asked me tae take on the mission because she only trusted ye with me." Darren shrugged. "She was quite forceful, too."

"I find that hard tae believe," Nessa replied dryly. "It was probably about spitin' the prince, nae about me."

Darren shook his head. "Cailean seems tae think ye'll change the longer ye're here. He thinks that bein' here will save ye, so long as yer sisters stick by ye."

"Does he?" Nessa asked. "He seems tae ken a lot about me considerin' we've never really spoken."

Grinning, Darren acknowledged the point. "He does that. He's been speakin' with authority since he was a bairn, our Cailean. But he's usually right. Never tell him I said that, though."

Nessa wasn't sure how she felt about that. Rather than thinking about it, she said, "What did Maeve say next?"

Darren made a face. "Not much. What followed was kissin'. Lots of kissin'. I ran as fast as me legs could take me."

Despite herself, Nessa laughed again. "Ye are ridiculous." Then she shook her head. "He thinks bein' here will save me. Who says I need tae be saved?"

She expected Darren to argue, but he seemed to ponder her words seriously for a few moments before he nodded.

"Ye're right," he told her. "Ye dinnae need savin'. Ye need tae learn tae save yerself."

Nessa sighed. Darren walked closer to her and reached down, taking her hand in his. His calloused skin felt warm and secure around hers, and she did not pull away.

"But Nessa? Ye dinnae need tae do it alone. We're all here tae help ye if ye need us."

Her eyes snapped up to meet his, trying to understand the hidden meaning in his words. She could not believe that this was how he felt. He must have some hidden agenda. Everyone did. "Oh, really?" she asked, guarded. "And how would ye help me?"

Darren lifted her hand and bent to lightly kiss the back of it. Nessa's skin tingled as he straightened back up and squeezed her hand. "However ye'll let me," he replied.

The door opened, and both of them turned their heads to see a maid standing there, staring, looking absolutely horrified. "Oh! I'm so sorry!" the maid exclaimed. "I knocked and ye didnae answer. I–I thought?—"

Nessa watched as the maid's eyes rested on her and Darren's joined hands. She quickly jerked her hand away. "Darren was just leavin'," she said. "Are ye here tae prepare me bath?"

"Aye," the maid said uncertainly. "Aye, I am."

Darren smiled. "Dinnae worry. I'm on me way out," he said cheerfully. Then he leaned over and whispered in Nessa's ear. "Unless ye want me tae stay?"

She scoffed, pushing him away. "Get goin'," she ordered.

He winked. "Aye, me lady," he replied. With one final grin, he hurried out of the room.

When Nessa and the maid were alone, they made awkward eye contact for just a moment. Then Nessa said, "Please… nae a word. Nae tae anyone."

"Of course, mistress," the maid replied. "I'll start yer bath."

Nessa thought she heard the hint of a smile in the woman's voice, but she couldn't get too angry about it. Because, despite everything, there was a smile on her own face, too.