Page 130 of The Renter

Fuck.I can’t lie to him like this—point blank.Can I?Do I tell him I tried to booty call Declan a couple of hours ago? I take a deep breath and another sip of my whiskey.

“Jesus, Dani.”

“It’s not that bad.” I say it to myself as much as to him, deciding to answer the literal question. “I was drunk one time in Italy and sent him a photo of me in red lingerie.”

“And?”

“I did drunk text him a few times since then, but nothing as embarrassing as the lingerie selfie. Declan’s never responded to a single text of mine.”

Not until today, at least.Declan’s never going to happen; I know that now. I feel bad holding that back, and at this moment, I vow that if Adam and I make it past today, he deserves to have all of me.

Adam takes a sip of his whiskey. “Am I the only one you want?”

“Outside of Henry Cavill …”

“No bratty comments right now.”

“I don’t want Declan. I’d be fine never seeing his sanctimonious face again.”

“Big word.” Adam smirks.

“I’m full of them.”

We smile at each other for a moment, quickly slipping back into our comfortable banter.

“I need to talk more about why I felt scared this morning. You need to understand.” Adam places his hand on my knee.

“Sorin forced me to quit my job. It was swimming lessons, but at the time, it was how I was saving money. It was all about control.” I hesitate, then add, “You won’t control me.”

“You’re going to do what you’re going to do … I’m learning.” Adam takes a deep breath. “Dani, you’re the best fucking publicist for these startups. You spend their money like it’s yourown. You go above and beyond. You’re so dedicated. I don’t want you to quit your job, but what I’m saying is you don’t have to be the best publicist in the world. You can be whatever you want. You can do whatever you want. You don’t have to carry the stress I do.”

“That’s a nice compliment from Adam Harris.” I feel proud he thinks that. “I like what I do. I want to keep doing it.”

“What about the nonprofits? What about those big ideas you had?”

“In the future. I don’t want to be financially dependent on you.” As I say it, I call bullshit on myself since we’re talking in the apartment he’s paying for, sitting on the couch he paid for. But it’s not like he gives me an allowance. I pay my student loans with my own money. I pay my insurance with my own money. I feel independent right now. “When we’re married, I’ll do the nonprofit thing.”

Adam smiles. Yeah, I can’t believe I said that either. He leans over, pulling me in for a kiss. The kiss is the kind that apologizes for the past few weeks. It starts to escalate, and then I gently push him back.I am not sleeping with him today.

“How did you get the deal to close?” I ask, curious and very happy the Adam I met, the Adam I fell in love with, is back.

“I showed him the money and told him we were walking away if he didn’t sign within the hour,” Adam says confidently.

“Damn.”

“Meditation and spending so much time with you have made me lose my edge.” Adam winks.

“I think you could use some more meditation.”

“I’m sorry I scared you.” He squeezes my thigh reassuringly. “I thought I might lose you today. It scared the fuck out of me. I never want to lose you.” My eyes start to tear up. “Peanut, come here.” His tone is sad and apologetic. His arms extend, and Icuddle into him. He rubs his hand across the side of my face. “I love you.”

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Pulling Dani’s legs so she’s straddling me on her couch, I hold her tight. “I’m working on my anger,” I whisper in her ear. “I’ll work on it more.” She squeezes me, nuzzling her head into my chest. “I love you, Peanut.”

We cuddle in silence for a long time, relaxing after this intense conversation and a hard month. I take a deep breath, needing to share something that will probably upset her.

“The Real-ity deal is set to be the lead story in the Wall Street Journal tomorrow.”