Page 65 of The Redemption of Alex Cade

“What’s up?” I asked, feeling the tension in him.

“Sometimes I still dream about him. But not so much now. In my dreams, I’m back at my house and I walk in and find him there. Waiting for me.”

Kit’s confession made something knot and tighten in my chest.

“You should have told me.” Yet the truth was, I already knew. We’d both had nightmares, for months and months after. They’d faded, but I didn’t know if they would ever be gone for good.

His mouth curved into a bittersweet twist. “Didn’t want you worrying.”

“Too late.” I brushed my thumb over the back of his hand. “But you don’t have to hide it. Not from me.”

“I know,” he whispered, his voice thick.

The last of the sun was sinking below the horizon, as stars began to glitter in the darkening sky. I tilted my head back and traced the familiar constellations I’d learnt about as a kid, when I’d dreamt of being a spaceman flying through the galaxy before real life had hit me hard.

“What’s that one?” Kit asked, following my gaze.

“Orion. See the three stars in a row? That’s his belt.”

I’d lost sight of the stars in London, too caught up in a life tight with fear and chaos. The stars had been for the kid I’d been, before, one by one, they’d been extinguished.

A breeze rippled across us and I tightened my hold on Kit, breathing in deep, inhaling the scent of saltwater and the faint, comforting smell of his shampoo. Simple things, ordinary things, but they’d become anchors for me, small reminders of what I’d gained.

“Do you ever miss London?”

“Sometimes,” I admitted. “The noise, the feeling of being anonymous. I’ll always keep a piece of the city inside me. But mostly, no I don’t. Not the way I lived. Not who I was.”

He nodded, thoughtful. “Me neither. Funny, isn’t it, how quickly this became home.”

“You always said Thailand was your happy place. Now it’s mine, too.”

He turned around in my arms, and I pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, smiling as I heard him sigh. No heat, no desperation, just a gentle affirmation of who we were, here in our happy place. When I pulled back, his eyes were soft, his lips parted in a smile.

“I love you.” Words I would never, ever get tired of saying. Words, once, I never imagined I would ever say.

“And I love you, too. All the way to Orion and back.” He tugged at my hand. “Let’s go home.”

I looked up towards the house, lanterns strung along the balcony, swinging in the tropical breeze.

Hand in hand, we made our way across the sand to the path that would take us to the home we’d built together.

Home.

But home wasn’t really the house, or the bar, not even this place. Home washim. Kit was my home, as I was his. It had taken years, for both of us, to find it. There had been wrong choices, bad choices, along the way. There had been heartbreaking, soul wrenching loss, and some of the scars we both bore might never fully heal, but they would heal enough.

Somehow, amidst the chaos, I’d found him. As we walked back, I made a silent confession which would never be spoken aloud. Everything I’d done I’d do again, a thousand times over, if it meant ending up here, with Kit.

Climbing the steps to the veranda I looked up at the star filled sky one last time before we went inside, and asked Kel to forgive me.