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Chapter Three

Elodie

I refuse to let my father rule me anymore. I refuse to let him tell me what I can and cannot do with my body, and I refuse to let him dictate where I go every single day. Everything with Ms. Petrov does not help my instance at all, and a bubbled scream coming up my throat is quickly swallowed. Sneaking out won’t be easy, and I certainly won’t get very far if they believe I’m having some sort of mental break. The staff most likely are aware of Father’s indiscretions, so they will be weary of my reaction. Unfortunately for them, they will not get one out of me.

Tilting my head from side to side, I attempt to remove the deep-set knots in my neck. It pops a few times with each tilt but doesn’t lessen the tension. Walking over to my closet, I rummage to the back where I locate the items that Wini got for me. The sheer item is light in my hands, the mesh slightly scratchy but not annoying. If I remember, I believe Wini once called it a teddy. It’s white sheer fabric with soft hems that are outlined with white feathers, and it gives an almost angelic vibe. Snorting, I realize it also represents virginity. Hopefully, I can pull it off as simply innocent, not that I’m trying to get laid.

Putting it aside, I grab the envelope with the application and sit down with a pen. There’s a lot happening on the pages, and I have no idea what half of it means. I do my best to try and interpret the words and what they could possibly mean, but I’m lost. So, I do a lot of marking “S” for soft limits. I jot little notes next to the boxes that I’m open to learning about them, but my interest is subject to change as we try it.

Hopefully, my match wants someone who has absolutely no idea what they are doing. My teeth sink into my bottom lip as I go over the contract in great detail, reading every word and memorizing it. Anxiety spikes inside of me again at the realization that I have no idea if this is a place Father frequents. Scrunching my face, I want that disgusting thought to go away. Though, it is a valid one. One part of me wants to do this, to feel the freedom while it lasts until Father finally decides that he has had enough of me mooching off of him and sends me out into the dark world. The other part of me, the safe part of me, wants to stay hidden in my room until my marching orders are given.

“Screw it,” I mumble, as I go ham in checking off anything that sounds good. There are a lot that I know for sure that I don’t want on my list. Fisting? Absolutely not. Golden showers? No idea what that is, but that’s a hard no.