Page 13 of The Reckoning (Oakmount Elite #7)

We lie in silence for a while, our breathing slowly evening out, our heartbeats syncing up.

It’s a rare moment of peace and connection in the midst of the chaos that has become our lives.

I know it can’t last—there are too many unanswered questions, too many threats looming on the horizon.

For now, I let myself savor it, this feeling of being wholly and completely his.

The reprieve doesn’t last long because even as I let myself sink into him, a shadow slips into the confines of my mind.

Aries. The thought of him lingers like a bruise beneath the surface, sharp with guilt I can’t shake. Deep down, I know no matter how much I want this, want Arson, part of me still aches for the other half of what I can’t have, may never be.

After a long moment, I shift, trying to ease off his lap.

Arson’s grip tightens in an instant, and I find myself pulled flush against his chest once again. “Where do you think you’re going?” he growls, hazel eyes glinting. “I’m not done with you yet.”

I frown, caught between heat and unease. “Arson…I don’t want Aries to find us like this.”

His lips curl against my jaw, a mix of tenderness and possession. “Let him.” The words rumble from deep in his chest. “I don’t give a fuck if he finds us like this. I want this moment with you.”

The certainty in his voice scorches through me, because he means it.

Because part of me does, too. My chest aches with the truth I can’t deny—that I want both of them in different ways, like two halves of the same wound.

The admission doesn’t make the deafening question any easier to answer: if it came down to me, would either of them ever choose me over their hate for each other?

I don’t get the chance to answer it. A second later, the door comes swinging open without a warning. It all happens so fast that I don’t even get the chance to pull away from Arson, not that I think he would let me.

My gaze lands on Aries standing frozen in the doorway. His expression wavers between concern and then shock before those hazel eyes of his dart from me astride his twin, and appear to darken to a color I’ve never seen, the color of espresso beans.

The entire interaction makes my breath catch and heat prickles up my neck, flooding my face. I try to shift, to cover myself, but Arson’s grip tightens, holding me in place.

I’m trapped and exposed.

Aries’s gaze shifts back to me. His eyes rake over my body, and the weight of it knots my stomach until I think I might be sick.

I shouldn’t flinch under his gaze. I shouldn’t feel like I’ve done something wrong—but my chest constricts anyway, because I know that look.

The hunger buried beneath the fury. The same hunger I’ve never let myself touch.

My thighs press tighter around Arson without meaning to, as if bracing against the sharp edge of Aries’s stare. Want twists inside me, tangled with shame, leaving me split open in the worst possible way.

Aries’s mouth twists into a cruel smirk, bitterness carving the edges of his words. “You just couldn’t help yourself, huh?” The low tone of his voice is sharp enough to cut. “Always so fucking desperate to take what isn’t yours.”

The air curdles instantly, thick with venom. Arson’s grip on me grows tighter, more possessive, and I’m acutely aware that his cock is still buried inside me like a brand, daring Aries to deny it.

“Get the fuck out,” Arson snarls, his growl vibrating through me.

Aries doesn’t move, doesn’t even blink at his brother’s response, his furious gaze is locked on the space where our bodies are joined. “I can see you’re feeling better.”

If his intention is to hurt me, he does just that. The words sting, yet I still feel the need to defend myself, to ensure he knows I’m not making a choice.

“Stop it.” The words rip out of me, raw and urgent. “It’s not what you’re thinking. I’m not a prize for either of you to win. I can sleep with whoever I want. It doesn’t mean that I’m picking him over you, or you over him.”

Aries’s head snaps toward me, his eyes pinning me in place.

There’s fury in them, yes, but under it a rawness I’ve never seen, like something splintering apart inside him.

His jaw works as if the words taste like poison, but he forces them out anyway.

“Then what is it, Lilian?” His voice cracks sharp and bitter, but it’s carrying more than anger.

“If it’s not you choosing him, then what the hell is it? What are you doing?”

The question guts me. Because it isn’t only an accusation—it’s also need. It’s the voice of a man who’s spent years burying what he feels, now demanding I give him a reason, any reason, to believe this isn’t what it looks like.

Arson’s growl vibrates through me. “She doesn’t owe you an explanation,” he snaps, his voice dark with possession. “You lost the right to ask her those questions when you walked away back in the basement, when you left me to pick up the pieces and mend her broken heart.”

Aries flinches like the words cut deeper than he wants to admit.

His jaw locks, shoulders tight as a bowstring, and then he fires back, voice rough and low.

“You think you mended her? You don’t even know what the fuck you’ve done.

I stayed away because I wanted to protect her—because I couldn’t live with dragging her into this war.

Little good that fucking did, right?” His eyes slash to me, then back to his brother as his voice splinters.

“Now she’s not only being used to keep us in line, but she’s caught in the middle of our hate. And you call that saving her?”

This is getting out of control. I have to do something.

“Please,” I try again, but my voice falters under the heat of their stares. “Stop acting like this.” Neither of them appears to hear me, or if they do, there is no acknowledgment. I might as well not be here at all.

Arson bares his teeth, grinding his hips up into me, eliciting a gasp from my lips.

“Protect her?” he spits. “I think you mean abandon. It might seem like a sacrifice to you, but I call it cowardice. You wanted her—you still fucking do—but instead of being man enough to claim her, you left her alone. You left her empty. I’m the one who picked up the pieces.

I’m the one inside her now. And that, Brother, is what saving her looks like. ”

Arson’s words lash the air, venom and possession dripping from every syllable.

The sound of it coils tight inside me, winding around my ribs until I can’t breathe.

My pulse hammers against my temples. Their voices, their hatred, crash over me like fists, pounding and pounding, until all I can hear is the thud of my own heartbeat and the ragged scrape of my breath.

Heat prickles behind my eyes. My nails dig crescents into my palms beneath the sheets. I want to scream, to rip their words out of the air, to make them both stop before I split apart between them.

“Enough!” The word tears out of me, sharp enough to slice the air.

In one quick move, I slam both hands into Arson’s chest. His snarl follows me as I wrench free, legs unsteady when my feet hit the floor. The blanket lies tangled at the edge of the bed. I seize it and wrap it tight around my shoulders, clutching it like a shield.

Heat scorches my skin, every nerve buzzing beneath the weight of their rage. “I cannot, and I will not be a part of this.” The words tear out of me, raw and shaking. “I will not allow you both to drag me into your war against each other.”

Arson’s jaw flexes, a retort ready, but I cut him off with a sharp slice of my hand.

“No, shut your mouth. I’m talking. Both of you have said plenty, but you know what neither of you has asked?

” I don’t give either of them a chance to respond, and continue speaking.

“What I wanted or how I feel? And I guess it makes sense, since, well, it might seem like this whole situation really has little to do with me, and more so to do with how you can use me against each other.” My chest heaves, the blanket slipping against my skin as I clutch it tighter.

“And if that’s all I am to both of you—a way to wound each other—then maybe neither of you deserves me. ”

For a moment, the room is silent. Arson bristles beside me, fury vibrating off him, but Aries is the one who breaks first. His mouth opens, then closes again, his jaw tight like he’s grinding down words he can’t afford to say.

When his gaze finally finds mine, it’s raw enough to strip me bare.

“What you want matters,” he says hoarsely, the words spilling like they’ve been caged too long.

“It has always mattered. You have always mattered.” He drags a hand over his face, torn open and struggling to piece himself back together.

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean… I came in to check on you and to figure out a plan.

I want…I don’t know what I want right now—” His breath stutters, his voice cracking under the weight of it.

“I can’t. I need space before I rip this room apart. ”

He backs toward the door, eyes lingering on me for a heartbeat longer than I can stand, before he turns and walks out, slamming the door hard enough to rattle the walls.

Suddenly, the room feels split in half, with my heart caught in the fault line. There’s no way back, and there’s no lying to myself anymore. I want both of them, together, and it has to be together or nothing because I can’t choose.

I won’t choose.

Arson lets out a bitter laugh that’s low and jagged. “Let him slam doors and sulk in the dark. I’m the one still here, the one keeping you safe.” He rolls off the edge of the bed and gestures to the spot he was just in. “Now come lie back down and rest.”

I stare at him, incredulous. “You think I want to lie down and rest after what just happened?”

“Probably not,” he admits, dragging a hand through his hair, “but you need to.”

I shake my head, tightening the blanket around me. “No. What I need is for this feud between the two of you to end.”

His gaze cuts to me, sharp and warning, hazel eyes dark. “It’s not that easy, and you know it. One conversation isn’t going to fix us. Hell, years of therapy wouldn’t.”

“Then how will this ever work?” My voice cracks, the question splintering between us.

He only shrugs, muscles taut as he reaches for his jeans and yanks them on. “I don’t know. But I know this—I want you. And I’ll do whatever I have to do to keep you safe. To keep you… here.”

I swallow hard, my throat raw. “Even if it means letting go of your hate? Of your revenge against him?”

Suddenly, it feels like a million miles are between us.

Arson freezes, his back half turned as he zips his jeans.

His mouth shuts hard, jaw ticking like he’s grinding down the urge to fight me.

The silence stretches, seconds dragging out until I’m not sure if he’s even going to answer or if there is an answer to be had.

Then his shoulders bunch, his whole frame tight as wire.

“It’s not something I can just let go of,” he snarls, voice rough and dangerous.

“You think it’s that simple? That I snap my fingers and the blood, the years, the rot just vanish?

No.” He turns halfway toward me, chest heaving, eyes lit with a fire that sears through the space between us.

“That hate is carved into my bones, Lilian. It’s the only thing that kept me breathing when everything else was ripped away.

Strip me of it”—his hand fists at his side, trembling with restraint—”and there’s nothing left. ”

My grip tightens on the blanket, nails digging into the fabric.

I meet his eyes, steady even as my voice splinters.

“I understand that, but if you can’t learn to cope with it…

learn to control it, then you’ll lose me, too.

Because I won’t compete with your hate. I won’t let it devour me the way it’s devoured you. ”