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COLE

I wanted to taste him again.

I wanted to put my hands on him again.

I wanted to put my mouth on his again.

I was sitting across from Dylan as we had lunch in one of the main cabins, the rest of the family joining us as well. Not to mention the horde of Amber’s assistants, running to and fro, seemingly still on the clock even as they downed their salads and mimosas. Levi was attempting to talk my ear off about the McMillan property, trying his best to gain any sort of intel. Shane was his usual quiet self next to us, the only sound coming from him being his knife and fork scraping along his plate.

“You know the McMillans won’t even take our phone calls?” Levi scoffed. “What happens when you call? Does it go to voicemail?”

“Nice try, Levi.”

“Who said I’m trying anything?” There was a look of faux offense on his face. “I’m just trying to make sure we’re all on the same page.”

“We are all on the same page. I’m going to secure the McMillan property. And you and Shane will be a valuable part of the company, always.”

“So smug! You’re so smug!” Levi playfully flexed his fists. “I can’t wait to see the look on your face when Shane and I figure this shit out.”

“Seems like I’ll be waiting a long time.” I grinned.

“Asshole!” Levi flipped me off, before taking another bite of his lunch.

Suddenly, my father appeared right behind me. Sensing his presence, I looked back at him. His mouth was in a straight line, his expression unreadable. “Cole.”

“Dad?”

“You seem distracted lately.”

“What?”

“You should stay focused. Wouldn’t want to lose what’s supposed to be yours.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I shook my head. “Haven’t you heard? I’m the only person who the McMillans will even answer the phone for?—”

“I know you, Cole,” he interrupted. “When there’s something important on the line, you get soft. You crave… attention. Maybe it’s the stress. Maybe it’s self-sabotage. Either way, your last distraction was a failed marriage, and the ranch doesn’t have time for any more of that.”

My father roughly clapped me on the shoulder, soon walking away from the table.

“What the fuck? What a fucked up thing to say!” Levi started. “I’m sorry, man. I can’t even explain that one. I think he’s just getting meaner the older he gets.”

Levi went quiet for a moment before he leaned in closer. “Unless…”

“Unless?”

“Are you… distracted?” Levi grinned. “Is it one of Amber’s assistants?”

“I’m not distracted.” I stood up from the table. “And let Amber know I’ll be in my office. I need to get back to work.”

How does he know about Dylan?

Is it all a fucked-up threat?

Maybe it was just another one of his tests. Even if I landed the McMillan deal, maybe he’d still take it all away from me, say that I couldn’t be trusted to focus when it mattered.

But would he really not name me as the next CEO of Stratton Ranch? All because of Dylan?

Fuck.

I needed to calm down. I didn’t even know if my dad actually knew about me and Dylan. I had a feeling that if he’d known I’d hooked up with a man in one of our barns?—

What he would think of me?—

What everyone would say about me?—

Words escaped me, as a crushing feeling now weighed on the center of my chest. I brought a hand up to my chest, trying to still the sudden flood, but it was no use. I was going to drown in this awful, awful feeling, and there was nothing I could do about it?—

“Cole? Cole!” Dylan’s voice floated somewhere above me, as he came around behind my desk. He gently placed a hand on either side of my face, forcing me to look up at him. “Are you okay? What’s going on?”

“Nothing’s going on.”

“Okay, well, you practically ran out of lunch, and it looks like you were just having a panic attack, so?—”

“Shouldn’t you be doing your job?” My response came out cold. “Isn’t that what Amber is overpaying you for?”

“We’re back to being mean to me again? Really?”

“It was a mistake.”

“What?”

“Everything. All of it. It was just a mistake,” I pressed. “I should have never touched you.”

“But you did touch me. Multiple times.” Dylan’s eyes narrowed. “And you told me that you knew what you wanted.”

“I was wrong.”

“Look, I don’t need some big romance from you, okay? But you can’t just act like everything that happened between us was?—”

“There’s no point in even talking about this, Dylan,” I interrupted. “We both know this was never going to be anything real, anyway. I’m about to be the CEO of a billion-dollar corporation. Committing to anyone or anything right now besides the company is a complete waste of time. There’s also the fact that I’m going to be a walking target for gold-diggers and opportunists.”

“Is that what you think I am?” Dylan sounded hurt. “A gold-digger? An opportunist?”

“Dylan—”

“You kissed me first, Cole.” His voice shook as he spoke. “What the fuck? You touched me first!”

“I can only say I’m sorry so many times for that?—”

“You haven’t even said sorry once!” He exploded. “I don’t understand you at all, Cole! I gave you every opportunity to just… not go down this path. But you kept insisting and pushing and?—”

He stopped himself, holding up his hands. “You know what? It doesn’t matter. You’re right. There’s no point in even talking about this.”

“Dylan, I just?—”

“Nope. I’m done with this.” Dylan shook his head. “And you’re right about one other thing, too. I have a goddamn job to do.”

“Dylan. Dylan!”

I was standing outside of Dylan’s cabin in the middle of the night, feeling like an idiot, chockfull of regret. Even if I didn’t think we could really be together, I still shouldn’t have gone about it the way that I did, being as hurtful as possible.

What is wrong with me?

Maybe my dad was right about the self-sabotaging. Because I’d called things off with Dylan, I’d been distracted the rest of the workday, just wanting to find him on the property and offer up a full apology. I just wanted him to know that it wasn’t about him , it was about me, that I’d worked so hard for one thing in my life, and I wouldn’t know what to do if it slipped out of my hands.

He could understand that, couldn’t he?

I knew how hard he worked to become the wedding planner that he was. It was probably the only reason he was still willing to work with my sister, despite her increasingly impossible requests. He liked to push himself, to challenge himself to be even better.

Because he loved his job. Because he couldn’t see himself doing anything else.

That was how I felt about Stratton Ranch.

“Dylan, please, just talk to me!” I knocked on his door for the millionth time. “You don’t even have to come outside. We can just talk through the door?—”

My words were cut off by Dylan suddenly standing in front of me, holding open his door with one hand. He looked like he’d just gotten out of the shower, droplets of water still fresh against his shirtless chest, still clinging to his hair. “What do you want, Cole?”

“I shouldn’t have said what I said earlier. It all just came out wrong?—”

“I don’t care.”

“Dylan—”

“I’m serious, Cole. We don’t have to keep doing this. Let’s just end it here.” He sighed. “You could hook up with anyone you wanted to. And… I think as long as we can agree to at least be friendly around each other, so it’s not weird while I’m here?—”

“I don’t want to be friends with you.”

Dylan scrunched up his face. “Got it. Good talk, Cole.”

“Wait. Shit. That’s not what I—” Before I had a chance to finish my sentence, Dylan closed the door right in front of me.

“Shit. Shit!” I cursed underneath my breath, as I laid my head against Dylan’s door, desperately trying to think of the right thing to say.

What the hell is the right thing to say?