Page 12

J enny pulled herself out of bed the following day. She desperately wanted to crawl back under the covers and sleep for a week. Just long enough to get over the oppressive weight of sadness because she had lost a patient.

Actually, the calf had been dead by the time she got there, but it still made her sad and debate with herself if she’d only been there an hour earlier.

That’s the one thing she had always done was internalize every patient she lost. She thought after years of being a vet, she’d toughen up, but it hadn't happened yet.

She kept telling herself at least she had saved the cow, but some damage had been done inside of her, so it might be impossible for the cow to get pregnant again in the future.

Jenny rushed through her shower and grabbed an extra-large cup of her strong coffee before heading to the clinic. Elise was already starting to open when she walked in.

“Good morning...” Elise stopped, came around the counter, and looked Jenny over. “What happened?”

“I lost a calf last night.”

Elise pulled her into her arms. “Oh, hun, I’m so sorry.”

Jenny hugged her tightly, needing the human connection more than she thought.

“Thank you. I’m going back to fill out the report before we have patients coming in.”

“We have a few set up, but not for an hour.”

“Good.”

“I’ll get some coffee started.”

Jenny held up her big cup. “I’ve already got mine.”

“I don’t know how you drink that stuff. It looks like tar.”

“The milk helps mellow it.”

“Have you eaten?”

Jenny shook her head.

“I’ll have Nicole pick you up something. You shouldn’t drink that sludge on an empty stomach.”

Jenny smiled. Even though she didn’t know if she’d be able to eat it, Elise’s concern went a long way in making her feel better.

Several hours later, Elise and Nicole were closing and locking the doors.

They stayed open until noon on Saturdays if at all possible, and that morning had fortunately been slow.

“Hey, Jenny. We’re headed out unless you have something else for us?”

Jenny looked up from her desk and shook her head. “No, you guys go. Thank you.”

Elise studied her. “Why don’t you come with us? We’ll grab lunch and maybe go hiking?”

Jenny smiled. “Thank you, but I’ve got a ton of paperwork to do. I’d love to go another time, though.”

“You got it. Call if you need us,” Nicole said, turned, and walked away.

Jenny heard the click of the door, sat back, closed her eyes, and exhaled.

It had been a long couple of days, and she was feeling a bit beaten down.

She knew it would pass because it had happened so many times in the past. A good cry and some mint chocolate-chip ice cream, and she’d be as good as new.

She’d only had herself for so many years because she’d been unable to count on the people who were supposed to love her. Then she hadn't made friends easily because she’d always been several years younger than them.

She sighed as she felt the first tear roll down her face. She pressed her face into her hands and let them go, knowing it would make her feel better.

“You mind telling me what the hell you think you’re doing?”

Jenny’s eyes flew open, and she jerked upright at the low, gruff voice from her doorway. She quickly wiped off her face.

“I didn’t know anyone was here, and I thought the place was locked up. What can I do for you, Mr. McKenzie?” she said in an abrupt but scratchy professional tone.

He snorted and walked in, closed the door behind him, and leaned against it with his arms crossed over his chest.

Jenny’s eye widened, and her body stiffened. “What are you doing?”

His eyes narrowed on her. “Don’t you dare be afraid of me,” he growled. “You know I’d never hurt you.”

She wiped her hands on her jeans. There was no way she would admit to being afraid of him even if a ball of fear was twisting her stomach at that moment.

“What do you want?” she asked.

“We have some things to discuss.”

She sighed and rubbed her forehead, where the headache she’d woken with grew as the minutes went by and threatened to develop into a migraine. “Can we do this another day? I’m kind of swamped right now.”

He walked around, sat on the edge of her desk close to her chair, and stared down at her.

“Why are you crying?”

She tried to smile. “It’s been a long couple of days.”

“Why?”

She looked down at her lap. “Kaden, please don’t act as if you care. What is it you want so I can get back to work?”

“I care.”

She snorted out a laugh. “I’d hate to see what you act like if you disliked someone.”

“I don’t hate you. I never could.”

Her eyes snapped to his. He did not just say that. God, he was driving her crazy.

She pushed her chair back so she could stand. She didn’t like him towering over her, but he blocked her by wrapping his boot around the leg of the chair.

“Is this about last night at the bar? I know I owe you an apology. I’m sorry for interfering in something that was clearly none of my business. All I can say is I’ve always hated bullies.”

“You got bullied?” he asked.

She rolled her eyes and snorted. “You could say that. I was always the smallest and the youngest. The fact I was always smarter than they were made it worse.”

“I don’t understand why you helped me last night even though you think I don’t like you?”

“I already told you. I don’t like bullies.”

“I think it’s more than that.”

“What do you want from me?” she yelled in frustration.

He stood and pulled her up to stand in front of him. He kept her there with his hands on her shoulders. His hold was firm but in no way painful.

“I just want the truth.”

There was no way she would be able to get away from him until she told him the truth, even if it embarrassed her.

“Fine. I hated that she was embarrassing you. Now, are you happy?” she burst out in anger and frustration.

He didn’t say anything for a moment as he studied her. “Now, tell me, why were you crying?”

She tried to jerk away from him as she fought the tears that stung her eyelids. “Goddammit. It’s none of your business. Now, get out.”

He sighed and held her gently, but with a grip she couldn’t begin to break. “I’m not going anywhere.”

She narrowed her eyes on him as she swallowed down the agony of knowing she’d done nothing to deserve this. “What did I ever do to get you to torment me as much as you do?”

He tried to laugh, but it came out sounding more like a grunt. “Torment? Not even close. Now, tell me.”

Jenny angrily wiped her tears away because she couldn’t hold back. She hated crying in front of anyone. She knew if she was to be respected, she couldn’t show weakness. But she knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t leave until she told him.

“It’s several things. One, my parents. I know they’ll never come back here, and as used to it as I should be, it still hurts.”

“Go on.”

She gritted her teeth. “Secondly, I’m embarrassed for intruding into your life with your ex. I had no right, and I’m afraid I might have made things worse for you.”

“Anything else?”

“The third thing should make you feel good.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, I lost a patient last night.”

She waited for any reaction and then shook her head when there was none. “Please leave.”

“What patient?”

She hit her fist against his chest. “Screw you. I don’t deserve this, and if you’re trying to push me out of town, you’re succeeding. There are a lot of other places I can get a job and not be harassed.”

He looked shocked. “I’m not trying to get you to leave.”

“I don’t believe you. You’ve tried to ruin my career, you’ve driven my parents away, and you’re hurting me.”

His hands fell to his sides, and his head snapped back as if she hit him.

“Jesus, woman. I don’t want you to go anywhere, and I’d never try to ruin your career. I respect the hell out of what you’ve done.”

She snorted.

“No, Baby. It’s true. My problem is I’m terrified you’re going to get hurt.

That’s all. And as far as your parents go, I can’t tell you how sorry I was that I disrupted your visit with them.

I saw the car in the driveway, and I got jealous.

And the last thing I want to do is hurt you.

I’m an asshole, and I can’t seem to figure out how to deal with my feelings for you. ”

She stared at him in disbelief. She didn’t know what to say to him. Everything he just said was a shock to her system.

“I tried to find you last night, but Nicole said you had a call. I wanted to thank you. No one’s ever stepped up for me. Oh, I know they think I can handle myself, and I can, but I still hate dealing with that bitch.”

He seemed to be waiting for something, but she didn’t know what to say.

“As far as the calf last night...”

“How’d you know it was a calf?” she asked.

“I ran into Ron in town, and he told me what happened. He said the calf was dead an hour before you got there. He thought he could deal with getting the calf out. He said if it weren’t for you, he would have lost the cow.”

She didn’t know what to say, so she stayed quiet.

“Did you hear me?”

She nodded. There were too many emotions raging through her, and she wasn’t able to stick to just one.

“I heard. Now, if you could leave, I want to be left alone.”

He studied her for a long moment. “I think you’ve been alone too long.”

She shrugged. “It’s what I’m used to.”

He ran his hands up and down her arms. “That doesn’t mean you can’t learn something different.”

She gritted her teeth when she tried to step back, only to have him pull her closer. She pressed her hands against his chest to keep some space between them.

“Listen, Kaden. I’m not sure why you stopped by, but I really do have a lot of work to do, and I’m already tired.”

“I wanted to check on you.”

Jenny shook her head. “I’m not sure why, but now that you have, can you please leave?”

“I don’t want to leave you alone.”

She tried to laugh. “It’s all I’ve ever known.”

“As I said before, you can learn something different.”

“I will think about it. Just not right now.”

She didn’t think she could handle anything more at that moment.