Page 18

Ashley

I walk into Gary’s bar, holding my head up high. Not willing to let anyone see that the weight of tonight is threatening to crush me. To drink my worries away. I chose the only bar that’s worth anything in our smalltown of Rose Valley. Over the years it’s become our go to place to get away from the world for my friend group.

I love it here in Rose Valley. Which you probably like, whatever, every small town is the same, but I would have to disagree with you on that. Growing up in Rose Valley always felt magical. I never wanted to leave. That was something that my husband Simon I mean my ex-husband and I always fought about. He hated living here. After college, he wanted to move to a big city, but he couldn’t get a job except for the somewhat bigger town next to Rose Valley. That should’ve been my first warning, but I told myself that I loved him, and it worked out. I could be in Rose Valley, close to my family, for when we had our own, making it easy to ignore the hurt. Until I couldn’t.

I try to casually as possible to place my butt down on the bar stool that has become my permanent seat over the past few months. Ever since the day I filed for divorce from the man, I try not to think about anymore.

A young bartender named John makes his way over, giving me a megawatt smile. He hits on me every time I come in here, since he was hired a month ago. The way he talks and moves reminds me of Simon, and though he probably has women dropping to his feet every time he smiles at them, I know better. I’ve been there before. Blinded by a beautiful smile and face. What did that get me? Sad and alone.

“What can I get you?” he asks me, but before I can tell him I want my usual, we’re interrupted. “John. Over here.” A man barks, pulling my attention to him. When I look up, my eyes connect with Ricky’s, and I’m struck by the emotion in them.

“One minute, boss.” My gaze never leaves Ricky’s as John yells over his shoulder to me, “I’ll be back in a minute.” Not seeming to be upset or even aware of Ricky’s prickly nature.

Ricky breaks our eye contact when John comes in front of him. He begins talking with John about something, I assume bar related.

Hoping to distract myself from the jolt of electricity that is zipping through my body. I search the bar to find something else to hold my attention. I find it when I notice a blonde sitting in a corner booth. Taking her all in, I see that she’s dressed in a black lace dress that leaves nothing to the imagination. Scenarios play out through my mind. I imagine that she’s waiting for someone.

I watch her, trying to guess what her story could be. My brain inadvertently drifts off to a memory I would rather forget but can’t seem to. The memory that led me here.

My phone buzzes in the pocket of my scrubs. Who the heck would call me right now? I run through everyone who might need to get a hold of me. My family knows not to call me while I’m working, unless it’s an emergency. A feeling of unease crawls up my spine. I pull my phone out of the pocket of my scrubs and see Simon’s name on the screen.

I pull my brows together, wondering why he would call me right now? Simon never calls me unless he needs something, and even then, it’s not while I’m at work. Though we’ve been married for four years now, the last two years have been the worst. Shit, what if it’s an emergency? He could’ve been in a car accident. My brain runs rampant in the two seconds as I stare at my phone.

Shaking my head to rid myself of what ifs. I hurry to answer the call, my fingers trembling as I hit the button.

“Hello.” Nothing but silence except for a muffle sound coming through. I move to the corner of the hallway to give myself a semblance of privacy. Trying again, I raise my voice, “Simon? Are you okay?”

At first, I hear nothing but more shuffling around, and then I hear the faint voice of a woman. My heart picks up and I shiver with a chill that feels like a warning something bad is about to happen. Not being able to stop myself, I press the phone harder to my ear, willing whoever is on the other side of the phone to let me know everything is okay. Even though my husband and I have had our issues over the last couple of years, I wish nothing to harm him.

That’s when I hear a woman’s voice. “Yeah, that’s it. Fuck Simon, I love having you inside me.”

I can feel the blood leaving my face and my head swims with so many thoughts and feelings, leaving me unsteady. My hands shoot out to steady myself against the wall. Still holding the phone against my ear.

I hear a man’s voice say, so full of passion. A voice that I recognize well. My husband tells his lover, “God I love the way you feel on my cock.”

With those words, the things I’ve been fearing over the past two years finally confirmed, and my body reacts before my mind can even wrap around what is happening. I drop the phone from my hand and everything around me fades. My brain whirls with a storm of thoughts, but the only words I focus on are his. The ones he told her. I should think about how he is cheating on me, but the only thought I seem to have latched on to is he never talks to me like that in the bedroom. What makes this woman special? That she gets this version of him. He’s never talked to me like that, always so—I scrunch my face as I search for the words—polite.

“Ashley! Are you okay?” I hear a woman’s voice ask me. I open my eyes to see who it is— wait, when did I close my eyes? Colleen is standing in front of me with a worried look on her face.

She wipes something off of my face and suddenly I’m aware of the wet feeling soaking my face. When did I start crying?

“What happened?” she demands from me.

I go to answer her, but I can’t seem to find the words. They’re stuck in my throat. I close my eyes and take a deep breath in and then I confess, “Simon called me, so I answered it, thinking it was an emergency.”

Opening my eyes, I shake my head and let out a humorless laugh. “He accidentally called me while fucking whoever he’s with.”

Colleen’s face hardens as she clenches her hands. She’s angry, but I know it’s not at me. She’s the only one who knows about my suspicions. After her bachelorette party a few months back, I got really drunk and finally confessed that I thought Simon was having an affair. That I’ve speculated about it for months now. Colleen tried to get me to leave him, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t have my marriage be a failure.

That was before, when everything was all speculations. I could ignore the signs. Like when he worked late almost every night in a month, when he was too tired to even have sex, or when one of my co-workers had seen him with another woman at restaurants around town.

Every time I would ask him about it, he would just give excuses, all while putting me down. “Ashley, I have to work. How do you think we can afford this house? You think we can just live off your salary?” “I’m tired, Ashley.” “She’s just a woman I work with. It was a work dinner. Don’t you trust me?”

Now hearing it and having it placed right in front of me, I can’t ignore it anymore. There is no more listening to his excuses. Or how he would use my gentle nature against me. I don’t like confrontation and Simon knew it, too. Looking into my friend’s face, I suspect Colleen knows it’s time too.

Straightening my spine, I wipe the tears from my face. Not that it is doing any good. They seem to stream down my face endlessly. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be okay.” I tell her as I try one last time to wipe the tears from my face.

Staying busy and having a check list of things keep me sane, and I know in a time like this I need to create on in my head. First find your phone.

That’s what I do. I aimlessly look around the hallway for the phone I dropped. Thankfully, I find it and relief washes over me when I pick it up and see that it’s not broken.

Next, I need to go home and pack. I must’ve said it out loud because the next thing I hear is Colleen demanding, “I’ll go with you.”

I look over at her and narrow my eyes, snapping. “I don’t need a babysitter.”

She shakes her head at me. “It’s not for you, babe. I want to be there just in case he comes home.”

Spoiler alert there was no need to worry because he wasn’t home and didn’t come home at all that night. Instead of packing up my stuff, I decided I would not let him chase me from my home. Colleen’s boyfriend, James, changed the locks on my front door. I packed up his stuff and left it for him on the front lawn. He tried to call me multiple times, but after that night, I refused to talk to him unless my lawyer was present.

“What can I get you?” a gruff voice asks me, pulling me from the memory. I look up at the man in front of me, Ricky. The only other man in my life who I’ve been able to lean on other than my father.

“A glass of champagne,” I reply.

“What are we celebrating?” He asks as he pours me a glass.

“My divorce being final.”

Ricky’s hand trembles as he places the glass down in front of me. His eyes clash with mine, lighting my body on fire. I’m so busy trying to brushoff the way I’m feeling, I almost don’t hear him whisper, “Congratulations.”