Page 15 of The Pucking Fake Marriage (The Ice Kings #4)

FOURTEEN

REUNION (CHARLIE)

It’s amazing how one person’s entrance can change the vibe of a room.

In less than five minutes, Kali’s seated at the head of the table, his adoring parents flanking him. My own parents are right beside them, all of them drinking deeply from the well of his charisma. They laugh giddily as Kali tells them about his students and the latest adventure in his school. Not like he even has to talk to get them to surround him. Some people are just naturally beloved.

I look down at my slightly shaking fingers. Even after all these years, hearing Kali talk about his accomplishments in ballet triggers me. I don’t want to hear about it, especially considering that the steps of my literal downfall are a few feet away.

Sliding off my seat, I slip out of the dining room. No one even turns around. They are all too invested in Kali, who gives me a small smile as I walk past. I force one back.

He’s the spitting image of Ken, at least facially, but when I look into his dark eyes, it feels like I’m looking at a complete stranger. It’s confusing. At least I was able to summon something for Ken when I saw him for the first time in ten years. Hatred, lust, longing.

But with Kali…nothing. As if he wasn’t my first love.

Ken is standing in front of the doorway. His face is expressionless, his arms crossed, as he gazes at the scene unfolding in front of him. At first, I think he’s merely trying to register his disgust about the fawning, making some sort of statement by not sitting down. Then I realize that Kali took his chair, and no one has even noticed.

I slide up beside him. Funnily enough, this feels familiar. Standing on the outskirts, watching the golden boy. This was our whole teenage life. When I started dating Kali, I got to bask in his light from time to time, particularly when I was selected for the PBT. Still, being here with Ken feels more comfortable than standing in the limelight with Kali.

“Just like old times,” Ken drawls.

Smiling, I turn to him to tell him I was thinking the same. But then, the look in his eyes causes the words to die in my throat. He looks exactly like he did back in my kitchen just before he fucked me, his blue eyes tinted with red. But unlike that time, there’s no trace of lust in his eyes.

He’s mad at me.

My stomach tightens. Doesn’t take a genius to figure out why. My mother’s insane comments about him being the nice guy must have ticked him off.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. In front of us, our parents are chuckling furiously—Kali just made a joke about his newest dance team. Humiliation and frustration twist around in my gut. Having to hear my ex drone on and on about the life I almost had makes me so mad I want to punch someone.

Or fuck someone.

Ken .

I glance at him. My pulse races as I remember what just happened. His fingers on my skin, brushing past my panties, pleasing me… I feel my nipples harden underneath my dress. I’d expected that our tryst a few weeks ago would satisfy my desperate hunger for him, but it did the exact opposite. Even though we hadn’t necessarily had time to see each other, I thought of Ken every waking moment.

It was foolish to think that I could have him once more and be done with it. Wanting Ken is the gift that keeps on giving.

And like my mother was so kind to remind me earlier, I’ve wanted Ken for far longer than I let myself admit. To him or to myself.

Don’t think of that, I chide myself. To stay sane, I’ve got to bury the humiliation I feel about what my mother said. Pretend that conversation never happened. I also have to stop listening to Kali as he drones on about his life, or I’m going to blow my brains out.

Turning to Ken, I let my gaze rest on him. He faces me a second later, his eyes darting past my face and straight to my breasts.

Something about his merciless glare makes a lump form in my throat. I swallow hard, newly realizing how badly I want him to make a move . Steal me off to the backyard, the bathroom, underneath the stairs. Anywhere . As long as they don’t notice.

And speaking about the stairs…

I look up at them. They’re completely unremarkable, a straight flight of stairs with a landing in between. And yet, this was the place that changed my life forever. And because of the man standing beside me.

My heart starts to beat slightly faster as the memories come swimming up to me. This time, though, I’m prepared. I don’t dwell. Instead, I turn around, keeping my gaze focused on Ken.

Truth is, I might never find out what really happened that night. If he did it on purpose or out of carelessness. Just like he might never find out the real reason I turned him down, except he must’ve somehow figured it from my mother’s diabolical rant a second ago.

The point is that the past is the past. And there’s absolutely no use revisiting it.

Ken is still staring at me with eyes full of resentment. A sudden bout of exhaustion and remorse fills me. I want that to be in the past as well. There are far better things in the present.

For instance, a scenario where Ken and I sneak away and do something more fun than listening to Kali talk about his charmed life.

“I'm sorry,” I mutter to Ken, hoping that will suffice. I’m not sure what I’m apologizing for or if he’s going to have follow-up questions, but it doesn’t hurt to throw the dog a bone.

Ken, however, doesn’t seem to be listening. “Remember how weird I used to feel back in high school? I was about the only jock whose parents didn’t celebrate them. How do you explain to your friends that both your parents care more about your brother’s pirouettes than your hockey game?”

I glance at Ken, newly appreciating how much he’s matured. I’ve heard him say stuff like this a lot when we were growing up, but this is the first time I’ve heard him talk about it without any trace of bitterness.

“Yeah, you were an enigma, Edwards,” I say, a small smile teasing my lips. “I remember Coach would talk to your dad about you possibly getting into the league one day, and your dad wouldn’t even realize what a big deal that was.”

Ken gives a mocking smile of his own. “Yeah, and he wouldn’t bother to come for games, either. A lot of fathers thought my family was weird.”

Our parents laugh uproariously at yet another one of Kali’s jokes, and I feel another wave of exhaustion wash over me. This is how it felt being with Kali even when we were kids. Like he was the sun. Standing too close to his brightness would cause me to explode into smithereens. No wonder I liked hanging around Ken a whole lot more.

“People were just amazed that your dad was obsessed with ballet to the extent that he didn’t care that he had a child that was going to play in the National Hockey League one day.”

“Not you, though.” Ken glances at me. His smile is no longer on his face, and there’s still a hardness in his eyes. Yet, his words come out softer than I was expecting. “You always knew the whole story. My parents were planning for just one kid, and they got saddled with two.”

My heart surges with emotion. Comfort , I realize. No matter how far apart we’ve grown these last few years, Ken and I are always going to have the friendship that defined our childhood. The one place we always felt safe.

Without thinking, I reach out and take his hand. I’ve done it a million times before, held on to Ken while he was watching his parents fawn over his brother. My heart contracts strangely. I never thought this would happen again, that I would let Ken close enough to want to bond with him again. But life can surprise you. Somehow, Ken has been a much better friend to me this last month than he was back in high school. And that’s saying a lot.

His body stills when I touch him. For a second, I think he’s merely feeling the awkwardness of being held by me after so long. But then, I feel him stiffen. With a forceful, deliberate move, he yanks his hand from mine.

I glance up at him, equal parts surprised and hurt.

He keeps his gaze fixed ahead. The anger emanating from his body is beyond visible.

Taking a step back, I try to keep a lid on the emotions burning inside me. No one saw what just happened, of course. But it doesn’t change the fact that when I’m finally trying to put the past behind me, Ken rejects me.

Life does surprise you.

“…really and truly amazing. Really, Kali.”

Even through the haze of hurt I’m feeling, those words catch my attention. Mostly because they are from my mother. I snap my gaze back to the table, stepping away from Ken. He doesn’t even seem to notice my departure, and that makes the rejection sting even more.

I try to focus on the table, to leave Ken in the past. Where he belongs. My mother has her arms around Kali now, giving him a bear hug as she lists his wonderful qualities.

Being judged by my own mother doesn’t hurt so much nowadays, but I still feel a dull throb as I look away. If Ken hadn’t just hurt me, I’d probably make a joke about how she’d like me better if I was married to Kali.

But now, I know something for a fact.

To stay sane, I need to stay away from both brothers. The moment this deal is done, I’m going to file for an annulment and move as far away from him as I can.

“Oh, come on. Your daughter is amazing.”

I hold my breath. At the same moment, I feel Ken freeze beside me. And I know exactly why. We’re both familiar with this ploy of Kali’s, a sort of humble brag where he pulls either Ken or me under the scrutiny of our parents. It comes off as innocuous, at least at first, but it always somehow ends up in them heaping praises on him while comparing his achievements against our own shortcomings.

Like clockwork, my mother rolls her eyes. “Yes. Well.” She sounds like she was just forced to swear allegiance to Satan. “Charlie has struggled all this time to make a name for herself, and she only recently has found success.”

I guess it’s now the appropriate time to list out my misgivings in front of both my ex and his brother, who also happens to be my secret husband.

Kali has a sanctimonious look on his face as he pats my mother’s hand. “Well, yes. She’s trying.”

“Not like you. ” I swear my mother’s eyes are lit with stars as she looks up at the son-in-law that got away. Beside her, Kali’s mother is beaming appreciatively. The men have fallen into a private discussion of their own.

“Well…yeah.” Somehow, Kali manages to accept the praise while maintaining the absolute picture of modesty.

I stare at him, wondering why it took me so long to notice how damn self-centered he is. I’d dated him through four years of school, and yet, I only got the memo when he broke up with me on my sick bed in an email. Apparently, my frequent messages to him were “too depressing” and making it difficult for him to “flourish” at the PBT.

But as he rakes a hand through his long hair, undoing his ponytail as he goes, I finally see it. I see it in how he lets all the parents dote on him without minding it a single bit. How he hasn’t said one word to Ken or me since he walked in. How he throws us under the bus so he can receive more praise. I see how damn arrogant he is. Hell, I’m starting to understand why Ken can barely stand him.

Not that Ken was perfect, either, a small voice whispers in my head. I can hardly believe it even now, but no other explanation makes sense. Ten years ago, I was running down this set of stairs, the way I had millions of times in the past. But that day, I tripped and broke my ankle.

Because someone left a set of dumbbells lying around haphazardly.

Even then, I knew Ken enough to know that he wouldn’t have done such an act out of pure malice. It could’ve been anything. Maybe it was childish upset I rejected him, wanting to get back at me without thinking it all the way through. Maybe he wanted to fix the blame on Kali. Or maybe he was just plain careless.

But those were his weights, and he was the one to leave them there. And with that one act, he changed my life for good. If that night hadn’t happened, maybe I’d be sitting in Kali’s chair now, my parents telling me how proud they are of me. Maybe I’d have even dumped Kali along the way and started to wonder if I didn’t make a mistake, turning Ken down. Maybe…

“…and we know the injury was probably for the best.”

Again, my attention is drawn back to the table. Kali and my mother now have their heads turned over to us. Kali has an appraising look on his face, while my mother seems to realize that I’ve been standing here all along.

“What did you just say?” I hear myself ask. There are jolts of electricity shooting down my spine, and I’m already fearful of what I might do if I heard him right. Still, that doesn’t stop me from wanting to know.

Kali turns more fully in his chair. “I’m talking about your ankle.” The glare he gives me reminds me strongly of how he looked at me in high school, just before he was about to go into mansplain mode. “I know it was hard and all, but it really brought out the best in you, didn’t it? ”

“No.” It’s about all I can say without breaking into hives from the fury spilling through my veins. How dare he talk about my injury like it was not the single most traumatizing thing in my life?

Kali’s smile broadens. “Come on, pumpkin.”

“Don’t call me that,” I hiss. The fact that he dares speak to me like I am still a little girl makes me even more furious. My mom shoots me an irritated look—she’s evidently annoyed by my rudeness. It doesn’t matter, though, because Kali just keeps going.

“The thing is…” He pauses, most likely to build anticipation for his next proclamation. I’m disgusted to remember how well that used to work on me in the past. “The PBT was the most exhilarating part of my life, but it was also the most exhausting. Going through that program might’ve made you realize you didn’t want to be a dancer after all. That you wanted—want something less taxing.” Beside him, my mother is nodding thoughtfully.

I’m at a complete loss of what to do. Scream until I bring the house down? Punch him in the face? Walk out? There’s no need to decide though, because Ken steps in front of him, his shoulders taut with barely suppressed rage. “You weren’t even selected in the first round, did you somehow forget that? You were on their waitlist, you genius.”

“But I did get in, and I danced with them. Nothing you say changes that,” Kali replies like a petulant child, his face turning a ruddy color.

I glance at Ken’s angry profile, confusion boiling within me. This is the rollercoaster I have to go on with Ken. Five minutes ago, I was sure I wanted to forgive him. After he hurt my feelings, he reminded me of what he did in the first place to cause my injury.

And now, this. Defending me, again, in front of our whole family.

I don’t even know what to feel. But underneath the confusion, there’s a saner emotion stirring within me. Peace. Because even if I absolutely have no idea what to say to Kali, Ken does. And I trust him to stand up for me in this situation…and any other, for that matter.

“Even Mom and Dad remember that you stayed in your bed for days because you didn’t get accepted. Maybe if Charlie hadn’t broken her ankle, you’d still be in your bed upstairs, pushing thirty and on the waitlist.” He crosses his arms, an ugly sneer on his face. “You know, you should really be thanking Charlie.”

Kali jerks up to his feet, his fists clenched. A strange silence descends over the table. Our parents seem to have forgotten how to move, maybe even breathe. Or maybe they’ve forgotten how to act since this is the first time Ken and Kali are fighting in years.

“Are you saying that I didn’t earn my place in the PBT? Because male and female acceptances have nothing to do with each other.”

Ken’s eyes are burning with disdain, but he keeps his voice as light as a summer breeze. “Well, no one on the Philly Titans had to drop out for me to take their spot. So, you know…”

Kali takes an angry step toward his brother. In the next second, their father is in the middle of them, pushing Kali backward. “Come on, boys,” he says, his voice sounding exhausted. “It’s Thanksgiving. We should be one big happily family, no?”

Kali doesn’t seem to be hearing him. “That’s it, isn’t it? No one in this family cares about sports, so you put that on me. Grow up, Kenneth. We’re not always going to fawn over you like those girls out on the ice.”

“I guarantee you’re all going to care about sports if Kali keeps talking about Charlie like that. At least, you’re going to care about how to defend yourself from a mean right hook. You know, in case you need that knowledge in the future.”

Someone makes a small sound. I turn to the table. Beside Elizabeth, who is looking up at her sons in utter shock, my mother is gazing at me. She has a calm, knowing smile on her face.

The meaning behind her look is as clear as day. Vomit claws up my throat as I look away from her, back to the men. My own heart is hammering in my chest.

Kali mutters something. Ken doesn’t hear it either apparently, because he roars, “What the fuck did you just say?”

“Language,” their father mutters, still pushing his sons apart. His motions are reflexive—he’s gotten used to doing this over the years. “Cut it out, both of you,” he adds, but I notice he’s glaring at Ken.

I’m aware that my mother is still observing me. Barely able to breathe, I focus on Ken, on what he’s going to do next. But he just glares at his brother. The hatred recedes from his eyes for a second, and the emotion underneath it sends arrows to my heart.

Pain.

Ken shrugs off his father’s hand, turns around, and walks out of the house.

I stare down at my feet, my mother’s look and words filling my head with a dull ringing. Ken is used to his family hurting him. I knew that, I helped him get through it a million times .

But only now am I realizing that I never accounted for all the many ways I hurt him.