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W e spent the rest of our dinner talking about the queen. It was hard to shift the topic away from her.
“It’s not that I don’t love her. I adore my mother.” Asante finally admitted his true frustration with the queen. “It’s just hard to accept feeling like an afterthought my entire life and now, suddenly, because my brother is no longer here, I’m the priority.”
I didn’t comment on anything he said. I let him vent, and when he was done, he escorted me back to my room.
Despite the frustrations of the evening, something else happened. As we spoke, I noticed a shift in my response to Asante. How my eyes lingered on his lips when he spoke and how my heart fluttered when he smiled. Though I told myself not to allow it, there was a new fondness there. Even more than that.
As I bathed, cleansing the stickiness of the night from my skin, my mind repeated those sweet moments I couldn’t forget. Our hands brushing against each other when we both reached for the bread. When he wiped the wine from my chin with the napkin when I laughed mid-sip and spilled a little. Each of these brief encounters during our time together collided in my mind. Even moments before that night. When he made his promise to me.
I climbed into bed, trying to clear my mind of these thoughts, but couldn’t. And as I tried to force myself to sleep, his face and smile appeared before me. His full lips, powerful jaw, and broad chest. I couldn’t help myself. As I pictured him, wiping my chin with the napkin and licking his lips after tasting my desserts, my hand slipped between my thighs. I squeezed my eyes shut as I continued playing those moments in my mind, holding on to them as my fingers danced across my clit.
In my mind, I pictured Asante, his hand replacing mine as he hung above me. Each stroke of my finger was his own. Replaced once by his tongue and then by something more. I arched my back as I imagined him kissing me and clinched the sheets as I neared the moment of sweet relief.
“Mmm,” I moaned, biting my lip as the breeze from the open window brushed across my chest. “Yes.”
I kept going, allowing myself this release for the first time in too long, with visions of someone I claimed not to want in my mind. And when I finished, sweat once again on my skin, I smiled at the moon outside my window. At least I could walk away with something to inspire me on nights when I needed that release. Asante could be that for me, if nothing else.
Instead of Maryl knocking on my door the next morning, a trio of women greeted me. They had armfuls of fabric and makeup, ready to dress me for tea with the Queen. There would be no kitchen duty for me that morning, no treats to take to Asante. As they ushered me to the vanity to start their work, I pushed away my disappointment. Would I even see him that day? Why did it matter to me?
I considered asking if I could make my own treats for the Queen. That thought went out the window when I realized there was a chance she would recognize them. It wouldn't have been unlikely for her to have visited with the Ice Dragons in her position, and if she had, they would have served her their best dishes, including similar treats to mine.
So instead of asking for additional accommodations, I allowed these three women to take their time prepping me for the meeting. They pinned my hair up into a tight bun. Making ringlets with my locs that framed my face. If it wasn’t for it being so tight that my eyes felt like they were going to pop out of my head, I would have loved the style.
After finishing my hair and makeup, a light airy look with, they made me stand. I filled my lungs with my last breath before two women held me in place. The third then wrapped a light green corset around my waist. The accessory was a torture device that would make it impossible to breathe. How was I supposed to eat in that thing?
Instead of complaining, I endured. It was one tea, one day. I had to do my part. Make the queen like me enough to get her off Asante’s back. If I could do that, then I would have held up my end of the promise.
“You look lovely, dear.” The matron of the group spoke as she secured the final ties of the corset.
“Thank you.” I choked out.
“Just remember, he's her baby, her only baby now, so she's going to be a lot more protective of him,” she continued talking absentmindedly. “Had you come a while ago, before his brother passed, this wouldn't be so hard.”
“Yeah, they weren't banking on him being the one to continue the bloodline,” the young woman with short blonde hair spoke. “But now it’s on him. So, things are going to be a lot tougher for you here.”
“Hard to imagine having to start over now,” the matron continued. “His brother was already set to be wed soon. And she was such a sweet girl.”
“I'll keep that in mind.” It didn’t matter to me who Assante ended up with or if his mother really thought I was worthy of continuing their bloodline. My womb wouldn’t be a part of the equation. I only had to keep up the show for a little while longer. “Is there anything else I should know about her? Anything she likes?”
“Hmm, our queen loves humor, but when it is proper. She likes patience and someone who listens.” The advice sounded more like a warning.
“Right.” I nodded. All I heard was to keep my jokes to myself and don’t rush her. Good enough.
“Don't let these two old ladies get you all upset about this.” The woman I assumed was the youngest spoke. “It's going to be fine. If Asante likes you, I'm sure the Queen will as well. Like they said, she's just overly protective right now, and she wants to make sure he ends up with someone good for him.”
“I hope I can be that.” I nodded. “Thank you for the reassurance.”
“I'm sure you will do just fine.” She grabbed my hand. “Now it's time to see the queen.”
They took me to the room where the queen sat. It was the same room that I stood outside and heard her arguing with Asante the first night I got to the fire dragon’s home. I wasn't sure what I expected walking through the door. Maybe something opulent and over the top. Tall and imposing statues looming over me, suffocating. I’d been in rooms designed that way before. Royals often used things like that to make their guests feel smaller.
But it was a simple setup in the center of a large room. Tall pillars, swathed in vibrant orange vines emitting a sweet, intoxicating perfume that saturated the room, lined the walls.
At the center of the room was a round table fixed with a simple tea setup. On the table were sweet pastries, colorful fruits, salty crackers, and creamy cheeses, accompanied by two sets of fine teacups. I walked to the table and stood by the chair meant for me and waited. A few moments later, the Queen entered. A group of women, whom I had seen with her at our first meeting, surrounded her. They didn't join us, they only stood by the door as the Queen walked over to me.
Queen Toci was more beautiful than I’d stopped to give credit for before. She had a presence that made the world stop and give attention. Her skin was a rich umber and glistened with the protective oil she used to coat herself, an effort to protect the dragon within. Though she was far my senior, she still held a youthful presence. Despite that, she was still as intimidating as any queen I’d ever seen.
“I'm glad you could join me.”
“Of course, I wouldn't have missed it.” I did a small curtsy.
“Please,” she gave me a gentle smile that betrayed the way I thought she felt about me. “Sit.”
“Thank you.” I returned her smile and sat just a moment after she did.
Before we started our conversation, the server filled our cups with tea and took the glass tops off the deserts that covered the table. When she was done, she rejoined the others along the wall by the door.
“How did you meet my son?” The queen got right to the point. No need for extended pleasantries. We both knew why we were there.
“He visited the town where I lived and came into my bakery after some of the locals recommended it,” I explained between bites. “He enjoyed my sweets so much that he often sent his aides to acquire more for him.”
“So, you moved him with your food?” She chuckled. “Just like his father.”
“I'm sorry?” I lifted a brow.
“The King. When we first courted, I would often feed him sweets that my mother made. I'm not like you. I don't have the skill myself.” She sipped her tea. “But he loved them so much that he didn't leave me alone.”
“Well, now I see where he gets it from.” I grinned.
“I've had my people look into you and they weren’t able to find much at all. They visited the small town you're from. And, from what I understand, you simply appeared a few years ago.” She narrowed her gaze at me. “No explanation as to your home or your family, even the people there know little about you. Why is that?”
“It's true, I keep to myself, but that's not a mistake. It's by design.” I straightened and told my truth. “I don't want to be a part of everyone else's world. When I moved to the area, I hoped to cultivate a quiet, peaceful life. An existence that was small, quiet, and undramatic.”
She laughed. “Then here comes my Asante.”
“Exactly. I wanted peace and freedom. I didn't go there looking for love or to catch the eye of a prince. But one day, a prince walked into my bakery, tasted my treats, and fell in love with them. When he requested I continue making them for him, I did not know it would lead to this.”
“Why do you want to be with my son now?” she asked. “If it wasn’t your intention before, what has changed?”
“You might expect me to have some story about wanting to lead this territory by his side and be the best for these people, but that's not the truth. While that sounds heroic, my presence here is not a selfless act. My life before Asante was good. But I wasn’t completely happy. Asante swept me away from that with a promise to give me the life I truly want for myself. He made me feel like I could have everything I desired. It is very selfish, and I understand if that is not the person who you want to be with your son. My choice is one for me.” Everything I said was honest, if a little edited.
“I can appreciate a person who knows what they want for themselves. Even more so, I can appreciate that you didn’t completely uproot yourself solely at Asante’s request. You chose this path for yourself. I commend you for that.” The slight twitch at the corner of her lips hinted that the queen was doing a little editing of her own thoughts.
“Thank you for understanding.” I nodded but, if she appreciated it, why was she so scrutinizing of me?
“And what about your family?” She pointed to my tea, and I took a sip. “I understand you wanted to be alone, but you have to understand my position here as the Queen. If I am to allow this to move forward, allow you to be with my son, I need to know where you come from.”
“I can't say that my family is something that you would approve of. But I was raised proper, taught the ways of the royals because everyone has to learn, right? I am no longer with my family. I have no connection, no ties, no understanding of their lives now. That it is, again, by choice, one that I hope you and everyone here can respect. And if you cannot, I understand that as well.”
The queen dropped her mask just slightly and asked the most direct question she could. “What are you running from?”
“Control. I'm running from those who seek to control my life.” I straightened, lungs struggling beneath the corset. “Everyone deserves that basic right, but my family didn’t agree. They wanted to control every aspect of my life, and I couldn’t take it anymore.”
“Do you not think they would be proud of you now?”
“Maybe, but I don't really care about making them proud right now.”
“I understand.” She sipped her tea, looking at me over the rim of the cup. But the way she looked at me told me she wouldn’t be letting the matter go.
She smiled when I reached for the orange pastry in front of me. “I doubt it will be as good as yours. I’ll have to try them someday, but I’ll leave that for my son for now.”
That line made my stomach hurt. If she ever asked to eat my food, I would have a serious problem; the mere thought made my stomach churn.
We finished our tea in silence, and despite my nausea, I forced myself to try the food. No wonder the other chefs were upset; their meticulously prepared dishes with their sweet and savory blend of flavors were being overshadowed by my exotic style. Their creations were airy and had a spark of flavor I knew I could never master on my own.
I remained with the queen until she was called away. That was the way it always was with the Royals. There was always something to be done, something to prepare for. I didn't hate it. In fact, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders the moment she left, and the silence of the room was a welcome change. I finished my tea and ate a few more of the treats, happy to eat something that I hadn't created myself before going back to my room.
Once there, I became very aware of how I existed in a space that wasn’t really my own. Asante had told me he expected his mother to have already been looking into my past, and he was right. Though the queen was cordial, I had no hopes of her actually leaving it alone. Queen Toci wanted to know everything about me. I couldn’t make it easier for her to find out who I was. There were echoes of me all around the room, which I quickly got to work erasing. The first step to protecting my secret was cleaning up anything that could lead her to finding out who I was.
My priority became cleaning up all shedding. Hair and scales. Though I hadn’t shifted in a long time, I still shed like any other dragon. Especially in my sleep. I’d wake up and find scaly bits in my bed. Anything I found, I picked up and put in a small bag. I couldn’t trust just tossing it into the trash bin for collection. I had to hide it all and dispose of it when I could.
While I cleaned, my mind drifted back to my family, and Asante’s words came back to me. The way he talked of his brother. I couldn’t help but wonder if my own sibling felt the same after I had gone. Did my younger sister inherit my responsibilities when I left home? Did she feel like Asante? Had she gone neglected in my presence? Did she hate me for my absence?
When I was done, I snuck out of my room. I needed fresh air and time to clear my mind. After some searching, I found myself back in the garden where Asante planned our picnic dinner. The space truly was beautiful, and I was happy to have the chance to take it all in, but with every step I took, I could feel someone's eyes on me.
The guards watched me carefully, and I made sure I did nothing worth reporting to the queen. Was that what it would be like to be with him? If I stayed with Asante, would I never have privacy? The questions fluttered through my mind, but I couldn't understand why they were there.
“It doesn’t matter!” I muttered to myself. It didn't matter how it would be, because I had no plans on staying with him.
“Kiala,” Uradis called out to me from the flowered arches standing at the entrance to the garden.
“Yes?” I turned to her after picking up a fallen flower.
“I finally found you.” She walked over to me. “Prince Asante has returned, and he's requesting your presence.”
“Oh.” I look down at the dress I wore. I’d removed the corset while cleaning and never put it back on.
“You look beautiful,” she reassured me. “Don't worry about it.”
“Is that obvious?” I smirked.
“Why wouldn't you want to look good for him?” She winked at me. “Every woman wants to look good for their love.”
I looked away from her when she said the word love. Asante wasn’t my love. I didn’t even like him that much. “I guess you're right.”
She led me to the prince, who stood by a small pond at the opposite end of the grounds, close to where they kept the serabringers. In the distance, I could hear their excited neighing and wished we could visit them again.
“Another beautiful dress.” Asante complimented me.
“Thank you.” I placed my hand where the missing corset should have been. “I had tea with your mother this morning.”
He pursed his lips. “How did that go?”
“Better than I expected.” I smiled, hoping to reassure him. “She was sweet, inquisitive, but respectful.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” He sighed and dropped his head back as he looked out over the water. “I thought she might give you more trouble.”
“It was okay, I promise.” I placed my hand on his arm. “Are you alright? You look upset.”
“There’s a lot I need to get done in a short period.” He walked over to a small clawfoot bench behind us. “Sit with me, please.”
“I don't have any treats for you today.” I smiled as I joined him. “There wasn’t much time to make them after everything else.”
“A slight disappointment, but I understand.” He pouted. “My mother was a priority. You can make more for me tomorrow, right?”
“Of course I will.”
“How's your ankle?” he looked down at my foot.
“It's perfect.” I lifted my foot and rolled my ankle for him to see. “No pain at all.”
“Good.” He abruptly turned to me and pulled my hand into his. “Will you fly with me?”
The question came out of nowhere and left me choked with panic. “What?”
“I haven’t gone on a flight in a while, you know. Let my dragon out.” He pointed at the sky. “I think it would be good to relieve tension, but. I don't want to go on my own. Would you go with me?”
Even if flying wouldn’t reveal who and what I really was, I wasn’t ready for this step.
“Asante- I,” I took a deep breath. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” For a man and a woman to take flight together, it signified taking another step in their relationship. A paired flight strengthened the bond between a couple. Asante knew what he was asking. He was testing the waters, but I was not prepared to take that step with him.
“Why not?” He looked genuinely disappointed.
“You know what that means if we do that.” Our eyes met. “Do you really want to go there knowing this isn’t real?”
“Oh.” He dropped my hand. “I'm sorry. Momentary lapse in judgment. I forgot what this is. Seeing you in the dress looking like you do right now. It was improper for me to ask that of you.”
“It's alright.” His apology felt hollow, a thin coverup for something more, but I didn’t dare ask him to reveal it.
“If you won't fly with me, can I ask another favor of you?”
I chewed my lip before responding. “What is it?”
“We have some important guests coming, people we’ve been hoping to meet with for a long while. This is why my father has been away. Mending the relationship and they’ve finally agreed.” He spoke with honor, clearly proud of what his father had accomplished. “Your food would be the perfect way to wrap up their visit.”
“You want me to make treats for someone?” I gawked. I wasn’t sure what I expected the favor to be, but it wasn’t that.
“Yes. I know I said you were only here to make them for me, but this is a special occasion. It would be a little more work on your end, but I would truly appreciate it if you could do this.”
“Of course. Who is it?” I perked up at the opportunity to talk about menus instead of flying.
“It's the King and Queen of Frostspire. It’s been years since our people….”
He continued speaking, but I couldn’t hear him over the sound of my heart dropping into my stomach.