Page 10 of The Prince Without Sorrow

Chapter Nine

Shakti

S HE AWOKE IN A COLD SWEAT.

The vision of Emperor Adil and the unknown man was still freshly imprinted in her mind. Cold hands grasped her shoulders tightly to prevent her from moving. She was lying down on her back, with something warm and soft cushioning the hard ground. A blanket.

‘Shakti,’ she heard a voice say. It was the same voice that had pulled her out of her dream. ‘It’s all right. You are safe.’

Shakti’s blurred vision focused on the dark brown hands clamped over her shoulders and followed their path upward to find a young woman watching her closely. Undone hair flowed loosely to her waist. Streaks of mud speckled her arms like snake eggs. Shakti knew her. This was—

‘Nayani?’ she managed to croak out. Sleep coated her voice, making it sound disused. Surprise pierced through her like a needle into an abscess. Dharvi’s daughter was alive. Thank the spirits.

‘Here,’ said Nayani. Placing her palm against Shakti’s back, she helped her to sit up. ‘Slowly, now. Don’t move too fast.’

Like a dutiful child, Shakti obeyed. She was light-headed and her muscles felt sore and tender, like she had been running for days on end without respite. Though her bones ached like those of an old man with arthritic knees, her thoughts were abuzz. She felt full, not in body but in mind. Pushing the odd feeling away, she focused on the mayakari in front of her.

‘Nayani, what are you... How did you...’

A bitter, sad smile flickered on Nayani’s lips before it vanished. She removed her hands from Shakti. ‘I was in the forest that night trying to raise a dead lyrebird,’ she said. ‘When I saw the smoke, I panicked. Something just didn’t feel right, and when I saw people being shot down... I couldn’t leave. I’m sorry about Jaya.’ Her fingers curled into her palm.

‘You did the right thing by saving yourself,’ Shakti said softly. Unlike her, she had run headlong into danger. ‘I’m sorry about your mother.’

Blinking furiously, Nayani let out a shuddery breath and rubbed at her right eye. ‘It’s my fault,’ she replied. ‘Taksila emboldened me too much, I think. Part of me thought I could have done something to save her, but I didn’t.’

Survivor’s remorse. Shakti understood her guilt, the feeling that they could have done something. But the world would always be that way; it was an endless stream of what-ifs and could-haves. The weight of her actions would become an unremovable chip on Nayani’s shoulder if she didn’t learn to let it go. ‘What could you have done?’ she asked, hoping to alleviate her regret.

‘That’s true.’ For a moment, they fell quiet. It allowed Shakti to assess her surroundings. Daylight shone through an alcove just in front of where Nayani sat cross-legged. The scent of wood was overpowering, as was the lit incense around them. The cooing of nature spirits filled the air as Shakti realized that she was sheltered in what appeared to be the hollowed-out interior of a Hora tree.

‘How did you find me?’ she managed to ask.

‘A Na spirit called me,’ Nayani replied. ‘It said that someone needed help, so I came. Spirits, Shakti, what were you doing so close to the emperor’s camp?’

Shakti was touched. The benevolent creature had indeed saved her life.

‘I was observing.’ The lie came unbidden. There was no reason to create falsities, but Shakti held back for the fear of judgement. She had actively cursed a living being. To admit this to another mayakari – it was shameful.

Nayani appeared disbelieving. ‘Tell me the truth.’

Groaning, Shakti cradled her head in her heads. ‘All right, I... Wait. Before you judge me, remember that the emperor killed my aunt. He killed Master Hasith. He massacred the village and has done so countless times before. I couldn’t just sit there and stew with that knowledge, Nayani.’

The other mayakari remained silent, waiting for her explanation.

‘I cursed him,’ Shakti said.

Another beat of silence. Then—

‘You what ?’ Nayani’s voice exploded. Her melancholy mood vanished. ‘Did I mishear you?’

‘You didn’t. I cursed the emperor.’ Saying it felt more freeing than Shakti had expected. ‘Not with death, I’ll have you know. Living misfortune.’

She said it to lighten the mood but failed to have the desired effect. Nayani’s eyes bugged out of her head. ‘Because that makes it better,’ she said. ‘Your aunt always said that you were prone to volatility, but I didn’t expect this level of carelessness.’

‘Carelessness?’

Nayani fixed her with an adamant stare. ‘That’s why there was a commotion at the camp, wasn’t it?’ she demanded, ignoring her question. ‘Something happened to the emperor; I heard the soldiers yelling. Spirits, I thought it was some sort of accident.’

‘At first, I did too,’ Shakti admitted. ‘But it was the curse. You didn’t see it, Nayani. Some sort of black liquid started oozing from his chest, and then he collapsed.’

Nayani gawped. ‘The curse worked that quickly?’

Her surprise made Shakti pause. ‘What do you mean by that?’

‘Well,’ the other mayakari appeared unsure, ‘once a curse is cast, it could take any length of time to enact itself. I’m just surprised that yours worked so quickly. Did your aunt perhaps teach you something different?’

Shakti shook her head. Jaya had never gone into specifics when it came to cursing and raising the dead.

‘Reverse it.’

Now, it was Shakti’s turn to wonder if she had misheard her. ‘What?’

‘ Reverse it ,’ Nayani repeated, frowning. ‘You do know how to, yes?’

Despite herself, Shakti scowled. Part of her was quickly becoming irritated by Nayani doubting her knowledge. Yes, Jaya had limited her teachings, but not to such a detrimental extent.

She knew the basics well enough. Though a curse’s enactment was left to chance, unless the victim had died from it, its reversal was immediate. Any mayakari could easily undo one so long as they knew the exact phrasing of a curse – that power did not remain only in the hands of the enactor.

At Shakti’s silence, Nayani nudged her gently. ‘If you don’t want to, at least tell me the exact phrase you used,’ she said. ‘I can reverse it for you.’

‘I know how to undo it,’ Shakti replied stubbornly. ‘But I won’t. Adil deserves to suffer.’ Besides, she’d accumulated negative karma the moment she uttered her curse. Reversal did nothing to remove it, and neither did she want to.

Nayani made a noise of frustration. ‘Shakti, do you not see what you’ve done?’

‘At least I did something instead of hiding,’ Shakti snapped, guilt following her anger immediately. It was a low blow, and she knew it, but unless Jaya was miraculously brought back to life, no one on this earth could convince her to undo her curse. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.’

Nayani sighed. ‘I know you didn’t. But, Shakti, what you claim happened to Emperor Adil – that is not a usual human disease. Anyone with half a brain will realize that there is magic at play. You may have got some sort of wretched justice, but if Emperor Adil survives, he will just use this as more fodder for his attacks against us.’

Emperor Adil.

The moment you wake is the moment I die .

‘I had the strangest dream,’ Shakti murmured. She could remember it in such vivid detail too, which was unusual. Usually, she would forget her dreams or nightmares a few minutes after waking up. This one, however, remained in her mind like a lived memory.

Stupid girl, this is no dream. Why is it so hard for you to grasp?

‘You were asleep for three days, so I would find it unusual if you weren’t plagued by your mind’s own machinations,’ Nayani replied, her morose expression switching to one of concern. Her voice dropped to an unsteady timbre. ‘At one point, I thought you were comatose.’

The grin that Shakti sent her was feeble. ‘Thankfully, I’m alive and well,’ she remarked before the weight of what Nayani had said finally registered in her head. ‘ Three days? ’

‘Yes,’ Nayani said patiently. ‘I kept you alive.’

‘Oh,’ was all Shakti could say. That and, ‘Thank you.’

Waving her hand in a dismissive gesture, Nayani reached out to tap Shakti’s forehead with her pointer finger. ‘I distracted you,’ she said. ‘Tell me, then. What did you dream in the days that you were lost to this world?’

Taken aback by her directness, Shakti could at first only stutter a meaningless dribble of words. In her mind, however, all she saw was Emperor Adil. All she heard was the wicked glee in his laughter, and all she felt was unadulterated hate.

‘I-I... it was so odd,’ Shakti said. ‘I saw Emperor Adil. I talked to him, and he told me that he was going to die.’

‘Perhaps you wanted to hear that,’ Nayani supplied. ‘A curse of misfortune couldn’t kill him, and you wanted a more... absolute form of revenge.’

But it had been so real . That was what made her pause. Adil’s personality had shone through their conversation: his hate, his pride, his egoism. A simple dream couldn’t have conjured that. At best, he would have been fashioned as a towering megalomaniac with a distorted voice that she would no doubt be running away from.

Maybe it wasn’t a dream , she thought.

‘What if it was real?’ she asked. ‘What if he died and I spoke to him?’

Nayani appeared dubious, and a little concerned when she said, ‘I’d say you were hallucinating.’

Shakti thought as much. No mayakari would accept her line of thinking. It meddled with their known abilities. She could have brought back some part of Adil from the dead had he died, but to speak to him in a dream was unthinkable. Three powers were all they had.

‘I...’ she began, ready to defend herself but realized that there was no viable argument. Emotions and gut feelings did not make for a sensible rebuttal.

‘You really think you might have, don’t you?’ Nayani marvelled. Her almond-brown eyes narrowed in concentration as if Shakti were a patient with an undiagnosable condition and she the physician. ‘After a great shock, it would be normal to—’

The fullness in Shakti’s head returned. It was as if gallons of water had filled in the crevice between her brain and her skull, pushing and creating pressure to leak out. ‘No,’ she said. ‘Something isn’t right.’

There was weight on her arm as Nayani squeezed it gently. ‘Lie back down,’ she suggested. Shakti noticed that her eyes looked fatigued. Gaunt. Not only had she been hiding out in the forestland for days, but she’d also had to take care of her too. Now, the mayakari had to reckon with Shakti’s frivolous blather. Guilt wormed into her, but it wasn’t overpowering enough to relax her turbulent mind.

An idea came, then. Her thoughts were only theories now, but to confirm or reject it, she needed the help of a Great Spirit. They could sense disturbances in both the land and the mind, and they were more prone to verbal speech than minor nature spirits. There was at least one in this wild forest. She could only hope that it was generous enough to answer her call.

‘ Please .’ Rejecting Nayani’s attempts at laying her down, Shakti clasped her hands together. ‘ Great Spirit of the wild forest, help me .’

Nayani balked. ‘What are you doing?’

‘I want to make sure that I haven’t descended into madness,’ Shakti replied, ‘and who better to tell me than a Great Spirit?’

‘Awakening a Great Spirit to tell you if you’re addled in the head?’ Nayani retorted in exasperation. ‘Shakti, please be serious. Lie down.’

‘No,’ said Shakti. ‘I beg of you – let me try.’

Silent as death, Nayani gave a curt nod and placed her hands on her lap, watching.

Blowing out a deep breath, Shakti placed her hands on the ground. Soil and frayed brown leaves crunched beneath her fingers. Alive or dead, everything in the forests was connected. What was birthed eventually faded away. What was decomposed became one with the earth again and gave life and nourishment to that which came after it. This was the dominion of the Great Spirits; a continuing cycle of life and death they presided over for hundreds of years.

‘ Great Spirit ,’ she called out once more. ‘ Surveyor of this vast dominion, answer my call. ’

Heat flooded through their little alcove. The pale sunlight turned a brighter shade of yellow, highlighting the particles of dust that floated in the air. Both gasped when moss began to enter the hollow like waves gently lapping onto the seashore. Droplets of water clung to it, glittering like diamonds.

On her hands and knees, Shakti gestured for them to exit. Moisture from the moss cooled her overheated palms. Outside, the temperature had dropped to a refreshing chill that was unusual for midday. When Shakti finally stood herself up and trained her eyes forward, she nearly toppled over in disbelief.

A giant black tiger stood in front of her. Its stripes were liquid silver that shifted and changed position every few seconds. Young green leaves and blue flower buds hung off its long white whiskers. Kaleidoscopic eyes that shifted from red, green, brown, and yellow watched them carefully.

It had answered her.

Shakti bowed deeply, as did Nayani next to her. ‘ Great Spirit ,’ she greeted. ‘ Thank you for answering my call. ’

The blue flower buds on its whiskers blossomed, wilted, and dropped to the ground before being replaced by another bunch. ‘ Mayakari ,’ it said. The voice was deep and comforting, so unlike those of the minor spirits. Powerful energy radiated from the tiger in waves. This being was ancient, she could tell. ‘ You are unsettled. ’

It could already sense her.

‘ My mind ,’ she said. ‘ I am troubled by what I have dreamed. Am I going mad? ’

The Great Spirit observed her, blinking slowly. With a swish of its tail, it stood and stalked towards them. Every time the tiger blinked its eyes changed colour.

‘ Mad is not what you are, little witch ,’ it said. Like a pup, it trailed around her in circles, examining her like she was a curious new toy. ‘ You are not one, but instead multiple. ’

Shakti’s heart stopped. ‘ What do you mean, Great Spirit? ’ she urged.

‘ You are many ,’ it said. ‘ A collective. Multiple minds. Gift or curse, that remains for you to decide. ’

Adil’s words rang in her head: a collective consciousness.

‘ Is my consciousness melded to Emperor Adil? ’ she asked.

The tiger shook its head and leaves fell as it did so. ‘ The emperor’s consciousness lives on inside you. Connected, but not yet melded. You are a new part of The Collective. ’

It hadn’t been a dream, then. Adil was right.

Spirits. He was right .

She glanced at Nayani from her periphery. The other witch looked ready to faint. Out of surprise, Shakti switched to human speech. ‘The emperor’s consciousness is in my head,’ she echoed.

‘I heard,’ she replied weakly.

‘ If his consciousness is connected with mine, what has happened to him? ’ Shakti turned to ask the Great Spirit. A part of her knew the answer already; she just wanted to hear it from someone else.

‘ Dead ,’ said the tiger. ‘ The physical body is gone, but the cyclical nature of rebirth is halted. ’

Shakti’s knees buckled. Sweat began to bead above her upper lip. Her body was heating up, palms clammy with moisture.

Emperor Adil was dead . Really, truly dead, and she had been the executioner. She had been the one holding the weapon: a litany of ambiguous words that doomed him from the first syllable.

Do not kill . Fuck. She’d broken the fourth precept, and quite spectacularly at that.

You’ve ended a life, little bird , came Jaya’s voice. I wish you hadn’t.

Shakti almost wanted to laugh. Living misfortune . Alive, but not dead. Dead, but not alive. A consciousness attached to the very people Adil hated the most. The curse had worked, just in its own roundabout way.

So, this was why Jaya had been hesitant to teach her.

Nayani’s trembling voice followed the Great Spirit’s. ‘What do you mean by multiple minds?’

With a start, Shakti realized that she had skipped over that phrase entirely.

The Great Spirit let out something that sounded like a laugh. ‘ Generations of minds existed inside Emperor Adil ,’ it said. ‘ Now, many minds exist inside you. ’

Shakti’s eyes met Nayani’s. That wasn’t possible. Impossible, really, unless...

‘ Was the emperor a mayakari ?’

Saying it aloud made her feel stupid. No, that was not possible. Mayakari were always female. That was what she had always been told. Men were carriers. They could not manifest any powers but carried the potential.

‘ It is ancient magic twisted into something unrecognizable ,’ said the Great Spirit. Its silver stripes changed once more. ‘ A carrier but not. A witch but not. I know no more. ’

Adil was something else, then. What exactly, she did not know and the Great Spirit could not tell her. All she knew was that in a moment of terrible luck, his ability had been transferred to her. Stupid curse . It may have hurt Adil, but now she carried its burden alone.

It was a burden she did not want.

Nayani appeared more agitated. ‘I... I can’t wrap my head around this,’ she stuttered. She looked at Shakti like a second head had sprouted from her neck. Like she was a newly found specimen fished from the depths of the sea. ‘The emperor... is dead? And you – he – is here. In you?’

Processing such information would take some time. Hearing from a Great Spirit that Emperor Adil had died was not the usual method of receiving news. Knowing that, somehow, the emperor’s consciousness had transferred to a mayakari of all people, made it harder to digest. Still, Shakti could not help but utter a sardonic retort in human speech. ‘You had ample opportunity to believe me the first time.’

‘Hah! Any rational person would think you to be stark raving mad,’ Nayani said crossly. ‘It’s insanity. I mean... what did you speak to him about?’

‘When I spoke to Adil, he was angry,’ Shakti admitted. ‘He was bitter at dying by the steps of his palace and—’

Nayani made a derisive sound. Shakti did not blame her for it. Her mind cast itself back to the brief image of the man she did not know. The one with the golden circlet. The one whose hand she had grasped.

‘ What is it, little one? ’ The tiger’s knowing eyes focused on Shakti’s. She knew that she was fidgeting, restless. Shakti decided to tell them about the man she had seen – perhaps the tiger could give her some insight.

‘ I saw someone else ,’ she explained, quickly describing the man in the golden circlet. ‘ He held out his hand for me to take, and I did. The moment our hands touched, I felt this rush of power .’

‘ Part of The Collective ,’ it replied.

‘But who was the man?’

‘ I cannot read your mind ,’ the Great Spirit sounded like Jaya at that very moment with its chastising tone. ‘ That man’s identity is yours to discover, and yours alone. Perhaps he may tell you as to how Emperor Adil kept such power inside him. I can only tell you that it is ancient magic .’

The mysterious stranger; the one with a beautiful face. He held the key to Shakti’s questions, and the only way to find the answers she sought was to find Adil again.

‘ How do I get back there? ’ Shakti asked, this time in spirit-speak. ‘ How do I return to the place where I saw Emperor Adil? ’

Talking to the man who killed her aunt was the last thing Shakti wanted to do. But this was a power she did not want. What use was it to have a warmonger’s thoughts inside her head? Were her dreams to be filled now with thoughts of violence and memories of burning witches?

‘ Only you can take yourself there. It requires a certain amount of mental concentration and meditation. Or alternatively, a state of deep sleep. ’

Sleep? Shakti could not bring herself to sleep at this moment. Her mind was abuzz, fluttering like a flock of doves in mid-flight. To sleep would be a nightmare.

‘I’ll meditate, then,’ her voice rose in pitch. ‘I’ll call Emperor Adil to me.’

Nayani’s voice reached the same high-pitched ting of a hummingbird. ‘What on earth for?’ she asked. ‘What do you seek from him?’

‘To get rid of him!’ Shakti gesticulated angrily. ‘I didn’t expect this to happen, Nayani. I can understand why we don’t often curse others when it could affect us, too.’

Meanwhile, the ghostly tiger watched them with detached fascination. ‘ Come towards me, little witch ,’ it ordered, ‘ so that I may help you. ’

Slowly, Shakti ambled towards the Great Spirit until she stood right in front of it. Its long, snakelike tail swished leisurely on the blanket of leaves. Standing so close, she could smell its breath, musty like an underground cave. Shakti cast her eyes upward to meet its variegated ones. She trusted it the way a child naturally learned to trust a good parent. ‘ Your time is precious ,’ it said.

Then, the Great Spirit unhinged its jaw and swallowed her whole.

Or at least, it looked like it did. Nature spirits were not corporeal. At best, they felt like a sunbeam hitting skin during a torrid cold snap. The tiger’s body turned translucent as its neck extended in an unnatural fashion and its jaw lunged down to cover her entire body. Fascinated, Shakti only had a moment to realize that her body was ensconced by a dark grey ectoplasm before her thoughts turned blank and she closed her eyes.

It was as if she were meditating, and so, so desperately close to having her mind completely still. She startled at the sensation of lightning inside her body, crackling and dissipating into a thousand different bolts. It felt like magic was flowing in her veins.

Somewhere in the recesses of her mind, there was a deep, visceral tug.

She saw the tug as a thread of blue and white sparks coiling and winding around a dark, empty space and began to follow it. Up and down, left and right, twisting sideways and under until she felt her chest constrict and she was blinded by shining lights.

When Shakti opened her eyes, the Great Spirit was not standing before her. Nayani was not behind her, either. No longer was she in the wild forestland.

Shock overtook her when she realized that she was back in the throne room, the same as it had been when she fell unconscious. Emperor Adil sat on the Obsidian Throne, clothed in white. No black stain marred his chest this time. He looked clean. Purified, almost. A taunting smile formed upon his lips when he noticed her appear a few steps below him. And when he spoke, his voice was filled with nothing but loathing:

‘Do you believe me now, stupid girl?’