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CHAPTER 15

DECK

NICE SCONCES…

We traveled to North Carolina a couple of days later to face the Vikings. When we got there, the team went to practice at the rink in the early afternoon, and we were all back at the hotel at a reasonable hour to get enough sleep before the game. As soon as I had the key to my room, Lizzy was at my side.

“Didn’t you get your own key?” I asked her. “Not that I would mind sharing...”

“Yes, I got my own room.”

She still stayed by my side as I exited the elevator and moved down the hallway toward my room at the end of the hall. When I opened the door, she stepped inside ahead of me, nearly pushing me out of the way like she just couldn’t wait to see the place.

“Lizzy,” I said. “What are you doing?”

She gave me a funny look but didn’t answer me, and then proceeded to walk around the room, running her hands under things, lifting up the fabric beneath the bed, looking inside the lamps, and doing a very comprehensive visual search of every nook and cranny of the room.

“What are you looking for?” I asked her.

“Nothing,” she said.

I could think of no reason why the PR rep for the team would need to carefully investigate my entire room.

“Lose something?” I asked knowing this was impossible since she’d never been here before.

Lizzy stood up straight, her shoulders tensing. “Um, no, sorry. It’s just… I heard this was a super nice hotel. So I was just checking things out. I wanted to see if your room is exactly like my room, or if maybe every room is different. Because that would be neat, right?”

“Right...” I answered, not quite buying it. “Neat. Do you want me to come to your room now and feel all the fabric to see if it’s the same?”

“That would be ridiculous,” said Lizzy.

She stared at me for a bit longer, something unreadable passing through her eyes as she did. It was pretty early, and I didn’t need to go to bed for a couple of hours, but I didn’t have a whole lot else to do, either.

“You have plans for the night?” I asked her. “Now that you’ve evaluated the sconces and whatnot?”

“Not really,” she said. “I was gonna maybe watch some television and go to bed.”

“Me too,” I said. “Would you wanna maybe hang out a little bit? Just as friends, of course.”

“I... okay.”

Lizzy walked to the couch at the side of the room and sat down, looking around herself nervously. I grabbed a couple of waters from the minibar, handed one to her, and sat across from her.

“Where are you from, Lizzy?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Well, if we’re gonna be friends, I feel like I should know a little bit about you. So where did you grow up?”

“Nowhere around here.”

She wouldn’t meet my eyes, and I got the sense that there was something she was hiding. I couldn’t imagine why she would hide where she grew up—but then I realized maybe it was a place she wasn’t proud of.

“That’s okay,” I said. “Were you happy as a kid? Did you have a good family? Do you keep in touch with them?”

“That’s a lot of questions, Declan.”

“You don’t have to answer them. I’m just trying to get to know you.”

The weird thing was, I really did want her to answer them. There was something about Lizzy that felt so familiar, like there was some thread of commonality that we shared that I couldn’t put my finger on. And while I understood that nothing could ever happen between us—at least not while she was working for the team—some part of me felt like she might understand me in a way that other women had never been able to.

Of course, that was insane, because I could never tell any woman the truth about who I really was or where I was from. That was something I had accepted a long time ago, and the one serious relationship I had tried had failed spectacularly for that very reason. I had chosen my freedom, and freedom meant being alone. For me, at least.

“I grew up happy,” said Lizzy. “My mom loved me. I didn’t see my dad a lot, but that was okay. I didn’t have any brothers or sisters.”

Lizzy hesitated, and there was something in her eyes I couldn’t quite identify.

“But I did have a best friend. Who felt a lot like a brother when we were young.”

Lizzy’s voice was slow as she said these words, hesitant, like there was something she was divulging that she wasn’t sure she should tell me. “What about you?”

“I do have a brother,” I told her. “We used to be pretty close. But we’re not now, and I feel like that’s my fault in a lot of ways.”

“Your fault how?”

I lifted a shoulder. “It’s complicated, but I guess you could say I kind of abandoned him. There was a job,” I searched for a way to tell her what had gone down. “It wasn’t ever supposed to be mine because, well, it just wasn’t. It was always going to be his. But it’s a really hard job, and he didn’t really want it. And so when I left to pursue my dreams, I think maybe he was kind of jealous.” My heart twisted at the thought of Lambert and how he’d opted to handle the pressure and disappointment. And at the guilt I always felt about it.

“That must be hard,” Lizzy said. She nodded in sympathy and then went on. “I don’t have any siblings, but I’ve seen how those relationships operate. I feel like there’s a lot of expectation between siblings. And that would be kind of difficult.”

“Yeah, maybe that’s it.”

I thought about Lambert back at home. Abandoned, because I left him there. Abandoned to rule a kingdom, sure, which is something most people might want. Or think that they want. But I had abandoned him all the same. Because I selfishly wanted to pursue my own dreams, and he was kind enough to encourage me to do it.

“I didn’t grow up with money,” Lizzy volunteered suddenly. “I grew up with a tough mom, who had to make her own way. And so she made me tough, I think.”

“Yeah, I saw that the other night in the parking lot,” I reminded her.

Lizzy’s gaze dropped to her lap for a second as she inspected the top of her water bottle, toying with it before meeting my eyes again.

“It has made things a little bit difficult,” she said.

“What has? Being independent?”

“Yeah,” she hesitated. “But also... men aren’t always looking for a woman who can put them on their ass.”

I grinned. I couldn’t help it. It was exactly what I had thought the first time I saw her. And for me, that was my catnip. I didn’t want a shy, demure toothpick of a blonde who I could blow over with one misplaced high five. I wanted a woman who could hold her own, who knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to try to get it. I wanted a woman like Lizzy.

If, of course, I could have a woman at all. Which, as had already been established, I could not.

“Well, that’s ridiculous,” I told her. “And any guy who is afraid of a woman who can handle herself doesn’t deserve a woman like you in the first place.”

I watched, intrigued, as an adorable blush climbed Lizzy’s neck, her dark hair hanging around her face as she looked down at the top of the water bottle again, a tiny smile pulling her full lips just slightly wider. I liked that I could make her blush, that I could make her smile. If nothing else, Lizzy deserved to hear that she was gorgeous—and that I appreciated her ability to kick my ass.

Suddenly Lizzy stood, putting her water bottle on the coffee table between us.

“Well, I should go.”

I followed her to the door of my room. As she opened it, I stepped in front of her for a second, wanting to keep her just for a moment.

“Don’t forget to let me know,” I told her.

“Let you know what?”

“Whether your room has the same high-end fabrics and appointments as mine does.”

Lizzy grinned at me and then turned and walked toward the elevators.

I wished that I could go with her. Wished that we could be something more than friends. Wished... I didn’t know exactly what.

The next morning, we had a quick practice, lunch as a team, and then headed to the arena for the game.

Lizzy stayed mostly in the background, but I did see her asking some of the guys questions and recording things on her phone. I hoped she was finding a solid idea for the movie.

Joey, John Samuels’s fiancée, had come along on the trip too. I had noticed her and Lizzy talking a bit on the plane and hoped that would make things more comfortable for Lizzy—having a friend. As we took the ice at the Viking’s arena, I spotted them sitting together, their heads close as the Wombats were called out. And I watched her face as they announced my name, a little thrill spiking inside me as she shot a fist into the air and cheered for me.

Of course, no amount of cheering could fix the mess I made out there. I had the puck on my stick with twenty seconds left, a clean shot to tie it up, and I sent it right into the goalie’s crest like a damn warm-up drill. Then I got caught deep on the backcheck, left my guy wide open, and watched—helpless—as he buried the empty-netter to seal the loss. Just like that, game over.

I avoided looking up at Lizzy and Joey as I skated off the ice, and I was betting Samuels wasn’t too excited about Coach’s take on the final play either, since it had lost us the game. It was my fault, not John’s, but that wouldn’t stop him beating himself up over letting that one through.

“Hey,” Corny said, moving up to my side in the locker room where I was busily avoiding all eye contact and beating myself up. “Coulda happened to anyone.”

“Thanks.”

His words didn’t make me feel better. If anything, they just made me feel shittier. These guys were my teammates, my brothers. But I guess that was what I did—let my brothers down.

As we gathered in front of the hotel that night to load the bus and head back to the airport, I was doing my best to halt the constant replay going in my mind. I’d been avoiding Lizzy too, though I wasn’t sure exactly why. Maybe I just didn’t want her to have to hide her disappointment at my playing.

I’d just stowed my stuff under the bus, when my stomach gave a groan. I glanced around, seeing that we’d be loading up for at least another ten minutes.

“Hey,” I told Derek Reed. “I’m gonna run to the convenience store I saw on the next block. Be right back.”

Derek looked around, probably for the coach. “You better be fast,” he told me.

My usually snarky retort was unavailable. I couldn’t even make jokes about being speedy and reliable at that moment. “I’ll be right back. Don’t let the bus leave.”

“Dude…”

I turned, heading in the direction I’d seen the shop, and half jogged to the convenience store. It turned out to be more like six blocks instead of one, but I figured I had time to grab a chocolate milk and a bag of Raisinets.

As I ducked through the door, I had a weird feeling like someone was following me, a feeling that didn’t get better when I spotted two burly dudes dressed mostly in black stepping through the door right behind me. I headed to one side of the store, seeking out the milk, but I could feel the guys in the store behind me, like their attention was trained on me.

I pulled the milk out and spun, only to find one of the guys standing directly behind me. I nearly ran right into him as I moved toward the candy aisle.

“Sorry, dude,” I muttered. Seriously, what was his deal?

As I searched for the Raisinets, the guy stepped into the narrow aisle to one side of me while his buddy came in from the other direction. Big guy number one had a scar running along one cheek, though I was doing my best not to stare. He moved close—a little closer than I thought was necessary for a fellow candy-lover, and I stepped to the other side, practically running into big guy number two.

“You guys big sugar fiends too?” I asked, wishing they’d back up a bit.

Big guy number one lifted one side of his lips in what might have been a smile but looked more like a snarl, revealing that he was missing a few teeth.

“You play hockey, man?” Maybe these were just fans, looking for an autograph? People got weird when they met their sports idols.

“No,” he growled, his hand moving to his belt in a way that set the hair on the back of my neck standing on end.

His hand lifted the black fabric of his shirt and I saw something glint at his belt just as the door jingled and half my team poured inside. The guy dropped his hand.

“Deck, man, there you are!” Rock Stevens moved to my side, practically shoulder-checking big guy number two without seeming to notice. He reached down and scooped up three Twix bars before considering and then reaching for one more. He actually turned and offered one to big guy number one, who looked irritated by the sudden influx of Wombat players.

“Guys, we need to bounce. Right now!” Panther Aspen swept down the candy aisle, pushing Rock and I ahead of him to pay. We practically threw money at the poor girl behind the register, apologizing as we hauled ass out the door and back down to the bus.

“Coach mad?” I asked Rock as we jogged.

“Nah, he said if I got him a Twix, we’d be good.”

“Yeah, you’ll be good,” I grumbled. “Hey, did you see those two dudes in there?”

“Not really, why?”

“I dunno, they were just acting kinda weird. Set my Spidey senses blinging.”

He laughed. “We could definitely take those guys.”

“The ones you didn’t see?”

“Half a hockey team can take pretty much anyone,” he said. And then he slowed to a walk and grabbed my arm, halting me. “And even when you blow a block, we’re still gonna have your back, man. Happens to all of us.”

I nodded, hoping my face didn’t show quite how much I’d needed to hear that.

After what felt like hours, we were settled on the jet, which the team chartered whenever possible to make the demanding travel a little easier.

I tried not to look too happy when Lizzy took the seat next to me.

Soon after take off, I pulled out my chocolate raisins and caught her eyeballing them.

“You want a few?”

She shook her head, sending that ponytail slipping over her shoulder again and sparking the same fantasy I’d been having since we’d met.

“No thanks. They remind me of rabbit poop.”

“Rabbits are super cute,” I reminded her.

“Poop is not.”

“Fair point.”

Lizzy didn’t mention the game, and I was glad for it. Most of the plane was silent as we headed back to Virginia, leaving me to ponder my poor playing in relative peace. Things turned around a little when, about halfway through the flight, Lizzy’s head slipped from the seat back and landed on my shoulder.

For the rest of the flight, I did everything in my power not to move. Having her so close I could smell the floral scent of her shampoo helped soothe the hurts I’d gathered that night. Feeling the warmth of her cheek against my shoulder gave me some kind of misplaced hope for something. And for the extent of the flight home? I wasn’t going to question it.

We were taxiing toward the gate when my phone vibrated with a text. Lizzy awoke when the plane touched down, removing her head from my shoulder without mentioning anything about having fallen asleep there. I reached into my pocket for the phone, missing the feel of her so close to me.

I was shocked to see one line from my brother.

Lambert: Call me please.