Page 122 of The Price of Scandal
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Verita: Soooo, have we waited long enough before we demand wedding bells from Derek?
Liz: *checks watch* It’s been more than twelve hours. Let the demands begin!
Will: Lock that girl down, bro. She’s got great taste in wheels and mediocre taste in men. BURN!
Berto: Unrelated, if you two crazy kids get married, does that mean you get a set of spare keys?
Me: Very funny, family. None of you are invited to the wedding.
Tanya: I KNEW IT! YOU TWO WERE SO SMOLDERY! When can I get a peek in her closet? Her taste is perfection.
Dad: Guys, have some chill will you? So Mr. Bachelor is all heart eyes over a beautiful genius with truly excellent taste in cars. Big deal. This happens all the time.
Mom: Michael! I told you sarcasm doesn’t translate in text!
Mom: Derek, if you don’t make a serious move on that woman I will be deeply disappointed in you.
Me: I’d like to point out that none of this is any of your business.
Verita: It’s adorable that Derek thinks his love life is off-limits.
Dad: Are you new here, Derek?
Berto: Back to the Porsche…
Tanya: Back to the closet…
Liz: I vote we start picking out engagement rings and texting them to Derek. #helpful
Mom: What do you all think of this one? The emerald cut is very dignified.
Will: Mom, that’s a clown GIF.
Mom: What’s a GIF?
Dad: Jesus H. Christ! You know I hate clowns!
Me: I’m disowning all of you.
Mom: Fine. But we’ve taking a family vote and we’re keeping Emily.
Berto: And her Porsche.
Dad: Good luck, Orphan Derek.
39
Emily
Mom: What have you done to your beautiful hair??? You look so aggressive.
I’d dragged both Derek and my new journalist shadow through my afternoon from one conference room to the next. One call to the next. I’d instituted thirty minutes of quiet time in my office just so all three of us could catch up on email.
Somewhere in between a manager’s passive-aggressive complaint about next week’s market update meeting and a timeline of events “should the IPO go forward,” my phone signaled a text.
Derek: She likes you.
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