Page 15

Even before last night’s wondrous encounter, Lily had begun to suspect she might be developing feelings for Frederick.

This morning, however, she was absolutely certain of it…and she had absolutely no idea what to do about it.

Pausing in her sweeping of the inn’s front walkway, she cast another glance out at the lane, but it was still empty. No sign of Frederick.

She heaved a disappointed sigh, then sighed again, this time in exasperation. She was being silly, behaving like this, like some young girl in the throes of first love.

Still, she couldn’t seem to help it. He was all she had thought of when she went to bed last night, and when she awoke this morning, he was still on her mind, as if he’d been there all night, in her dreams.

And who could fault her for that? He was an extraordinary man, and she loved being with him, but she knew she was growing to care for him too much. He was leaving soon, and she could not afford to let his kisses or the lovely things he said go to her head.

I think I’m in danger of losing my heart to you.

Those eleven words had thrilled her to the tips of her toes, but she could not forget that she had just met him, and his words, though lovely, had held no promises.

She would not give her heart away to a man she didn’t trust, and while her instincts told her Frederick was a good and honorable man, the life he apparently led in London did make her uneasy.

He seemed to regret his recent affair with the married woman, but then, he had been caught, and his actions had incurred very real, very unpleasant consequences. Who wouldn’t regret that?

He said it was the first affair he’d had with a married woman, and she believed him. Still, his own sister had called him a rogue, which meant he’d had his share of dalliances, likely with widows and courtesans. Perhaps even a spinster or two, like herself.

Was that what he wanted from her? A meaningless affair?

Was that what his time at the inn had been, the diligent efforts of a rogue sniffing after his next liaison?

Perhaps she was being na?ve, but she didn’t think that was his intent. She couldn’t believe it had all been an act, that he hadn’t meant the things he’d said to her, that the tenderness in his kiss wasn’t real.

I think I’m in danger of losing my heart to you.

His words ran through her mind again, and she could not forget the look in his eyes as he’d said them. How rueful he’d appeared, almost bashful, as if the admission had been uncomfortable for him.

As if he’d only just realized the truth of it himself.

No, she couldn’t believe he was using her for a brief, meaningless dalliance.

If he’d wanted to slake his lust with her body, he could have done so last night.

She was not ashamed to admit that she’d wanted him desperately and probably would have given herself to him if he’d let her.

But he’d been the one to end the encounter.

And then he’d told her he was losing his heart to her before saying goodbye and heading for home.

She didn’t know what any of it meant, but somehow, she knew she could trust him not to mislead her, just as she knew she couldn’t wait to see him again. Which was why she was out here now, waiting for him, and sweeping a walkway that didn’t need to be swept.

She drew in a breath and turned for the door, intending to go inside while she still possessed a speck of pride. She would not look for him again. She would return to the kitchen and finish some real work, and Frederick would arrive when he arrived.

She absolutely would not look for him again.

“Good morning, Lily.”

Whirling around, she found Frederick walking toward her and nearly dropped her broom at the sight of his handsome smile.

He wore simple clothes again today, his easy strides displaying his strong legs and lean hips, and as he drew near, a mild breeze played with his thick, black locks.

Stephen’s hair was blonde, she mused, and so was Phillip’s, the neighbor boy she’d fancied years ago when she was just a slip of a girl. She’d never been smitten with a dark-haired man before.

She was certainly smitten with this one.

“Frederick,” she said, trying for a serene smile, though undoubtedly failing. “Good morning to you.”

She’d worried she would feel awkward when she met him again, but she didn’t. She felt only happiness. And the strong desire to kiss him.

“How are you today?” he asked, his warm blue eyes roving over her face.

“I’m very well, thank you,” she replied, stacking her hands atop the broomstick. “And how are you?”

He pressed his lips together, though his eyes were twinkling. “Not so good, I’m afraid. A beautiful, fascinating woman kept me up late last night, and I slept barely a wink for thinking about her.”

Delight bloomed throughout Lily’s body, but she tamped it down and gave her head a sorrowful shake. “I am very sorry to hear that,” she said, though of course she wasn’t sorry at all.

Frederick gave her a lopsided smile. “Yes, I can see you feel dreadful about it.”

“Oh, I do,” she said, nearly overwhelmed by the sudden desire to kiss that smile, and anything else her lips could reach. She cleared her throat. “I thought today you could see to some repairs in the barn, if that is amenable to you.”

“Repairs?” His brow crinkled.

“Nothing too complicated,” she assured him. “A broken fence and damaged shutters. Come, I'll show you.”

After propping the broom up beside the door, she led him to the barn, and as they walked inside, Blythe let out a long low from her pen and bobbed her head in excitement.

“Someone is certainly happy to see you,” Lily said to Frederick, who was all smiles as he walked up to greet the happy cow.

Lily followed, watching him while he crooned to Blythe, and gave her head a good scratch over the gate.

Her belly fluttered as she studied his profile.

He was a handsome man, an unequivocal pleasure to look at, but he was so much more than just his good looks.

He was kind and warm, gentle and compassionate.

Yet, he did not see it. How was that so? How could such a man, who brought so much to the world, believe he did not deserve to be in it?

How could he believe his brother should be here on this earth instead of him?

Lily’s heart thudded painfully, her chest aching with the desire to wrap her arms around him tight and hold on until he understood what he meant to her. What it would mean if she lost him.

“Lily, I—” Frederick turned to look at her, his words stalling when his gaze found hers. “Is something the matter?” he asked, turning to face her, his brow knitting.

Lily shook her head. “No. Nothing.” She swallowed, clutching her skirts between her fingers, the urge to leap into his arms and kiss him nearly overwhelming her. “I’m perfectly well.”

She was perfectly besotted , and the thought, the feeling, sent embarrassed heat spreading through her limbs.

For pity’s sake, Lily. Have some pride.

“I do have a lot of work to do, though,” she said, taking a step backward, “so I really must leave you now. You will find the tools you need for the repairs just over there”—she pointed to the table in the corner—“and if you need anything else, I will be working in the garden.”

She turned to leave—flee, really—but the brush of his hand, his fingers tangling with hers, froze her in her tracks.

“Don’t go,” he said softly, giving her hand a gentle tug. “Not just yet.”

“But I have so much to do…” The protest was weak, even to her own ears, and her resolve faltered further at the gentle pleading in his cobalt eyes.

“I know,” he said, grasping both her hands in his. “But I need to speak with you alone, and this might be my only chance today.”

“Speak to me about what?” she asked warily.

“About last night.”

Oh. Lily swallowed. What could he wish to discuss about last night? Would he apologize for kissing her, or for the things he’d said to her? Did he intend to take them back?

“I’m sorry, Lily,” he said, and her heart clenched. “I’m sorry for leaving like I did. It was not—” He paused, his forehead creasing. “I want you to know that it was nothing you did.”

Relief was swift, although the words were not what she’d expected to hear. “You’ve been trying to respect your sister’s wishes. I understand.”

He nodded, and the smile he offered was slightly abashed. “I’ve been trying to keep away from you because that’s what Penelope wants me to do, but it isn’t what I want, Lily. And I don’t think it’s what you want, either.” He gave her a searching look. “Is it?”

He had to know it wasn’t. After last night, after she’d kissed him and practically begged him not to stop, he had to know her feelings.

Still, he seemed to want her answer. She shook her head. “No. It isn’t.”

The unease and regret in his eyes disappeared, and pleasure sparked to life in its place. “Good,” he said softly. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

He drew closer until the tips of his boots grazed hers, and then his hands began to move, skating up her forearms as his gaze fell to her mouth. “Lily,” he said, his voice deep and rough. “May I kiss you?”

Slowly, she tipped her head back, trying not to appear too eager, though she knew if Frederick could hear the beating of her heart, he would know precisely how eager she was.

His mouth brushed hers, exquisitely soft, and she clasped her hands together to keep from grabbing his shirt and hauling him in like some sort of brute.

She could not control her lips, however, and she met his kiss with unrestrained enthusiasm, fitting her mouth to his, and laving his bottom lip with her tongue.

“Touch me, Lily,” Frederick demanded, his voice gruff as his own hands swept down her back and gripped her waist.

The command excited her, and she obeyed with alacrity, skating her palms up his chest to his shoulders, feeling the heat, the muscle, through his rough cotton shirt.