CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

DECKER

Ives is waiting down the block when I emerge from the studio. The walk isn’t long, but it’s lonely. I run a hand through my hair, prying loose the pomade I’d used to perfect it earlier. I’d hoped maybe Lena would be the one undoing it, but nothing ever seems to go the way I hope.

My ride kicks on as I approach, and I attempt to smile at Ives as I jerk open the back door.

A couple of teenage boys pass by, yelling something about football, and I nod back.

I think one even snaps a picture, but I’m too wrapped up in the fact that Lena had nothing to say to me.

I told her she was easy to fall in love with, and she had nothing to say.

I wish she would have at least denied me, told me I was outkicking my coverage, anything.

The way she looked at me, touched me, the way her lips brushed my hand…

There’s no way she feels nothing. Something’s there—we both know it—even if she won’t say it out loud.

So why didn’t I come straight out and tell her?

Lena Lukowski, I’ve fallen in love with you.

It’s the sappiest thing I’ve ever not said.

More confused than ever, I sink into the leather seat and pull out my phone.

Lena’s name is at the top of my inbox, and though I wish I could text her right now, I wish even more that I were still with her.

Maleko’s name is next, some drunk gibberish asking where I went, followed by an uneventful group chat with Mom and Ian.

Fake dating someone is incredibly isolating.

No one else is in on it, so when you fall hard for the other half of your faux relationship, there’s no one to talk to when you need it most. Except someone else does know.

He’s the reason I’m in this situation. I open my call logs and scroll until I find his name.

Jason Lancaster. Sucking in a deep breath, I click it.

He answers in three rings. “Decker, what is it?”

“Well, hi to you too, Jason.”

“You never call me first. What’s wrong?” he presses.

“Nothing is wrong. I just wanted to touch base about wrapping up this relationship with Lena. She mentioned something about another public appearance this week and then the gala. Wasn’t sure if you knew details about either.” I put the call on speaker and tilt my head back against the seat.

“Antonia’s been taking the reins on most of that. I’ll have to revisit the contract.”

I clear my throat, already concocting a plan.

I can’t force Lena to tell me she loves me, but I can show her how much I love her.

She deserves the best. If this is my last shot to prove it, I want to make it count.

I don’t want to tell her goodbye, and I’ll do everything it takes to make her want to stay.

“I want to make it feel special. Really make people take notice so the shock is that much greater when we call it quits, you know?” I don’t even like saying it out loud, but it’s my reality. “I want us to finish on a high note, as they say.”

“They do say that. Not usually about breakups, but who am I to judge.” He chuckles. “What did you have in mind?”

For a moment, I wonder if I’m overstepping by asking him for favors. He’s not my personal assistant, but as my manager, he’s the only one as invested in this as I am. “Can you find out what color Lena’s dress is for the gala?”

“Why can’t you ask her?”

Because it might be awkward, given how we parted ways tonight. And also the last thing I want to do is remind her one more time that we’re almost over. Almost.

“Just find out, please.”

He snorts. “That’s it?”

“And I need the number of the best florist you know. And some balloons.”

“Balloons?”

A few moments and a little explanation later, I hang up on a confused but compliant Jason.

I want our last evening together to be special.

My chest pinches as my street comes into view ahead.

I knew someday we’d end, but I never expected to not want it to.

I could never have predicted I’d fall in love with her.

Sadness slithers in that a night which could be so memorable is going to be completely overshadowed by what I now accept is simply a business deadline.

I fall in love, and Lena still sees a deadline.

A bitter laugh escapes me when I think about how desperately I wanted to kiss her tonight.

Embarrassment streaks through the pain. I was thinking about being alone with her, and she was thinking about dumping me.

And it’s all happening the night that I meet her dad?

Admittedly, that’s still something that makes me nervous, but what puts me even more on edge is the fact that I’ll be meeting him… and then dumping his daughter.

As Ives pulls into my garage and I shuffle out into the dark night, I decide to take the stairs. There’s no time for the gym tonight, and the only thing that helps me process my thoughts is moving. And I have a lot to think about.