Page 37 of The Perfect Deception (Jessie Hunt #40)

They made Jessie go to the emergency room.

Even though she assured the EMTs that none of the blood on her was her own, they insisted, as did Ryan, who had arrived only minutes after the cavalry.

Right now she was in a hospital gown with a blanket over her shoulders, sitting in a chair in the emergency room hallway. She was waiting for Hannah, who was getting a fresh, unbloodied set of clothes for her from the house. Ryan sat beside her. A youngish-looking doctor walked up to them.

“You’re working the case with the gunshot victim?” he asked.

They both nodded.

“She’s still in surgery—probably for another couple of hours. But it’s likely that she’ll pull through. I’ll have someone keep you posted.”

“Thanks, Doctor,”

Ryan said. When he left, Ryan turned to Jessie.

“Feeling any better?”

“Physically, I’m fine,”

she assured him, though she knew that wasn’t what he meant.

“But I can’t stop thinking that I could have prevented Prager’s death. I almost had them both dropping their weapons. And then it all turned bad in the blink of an eye.”

“You couldn’t have done anything. I mean, were you going to shoot Vanessa Winston when you still thought you had a chance of talking her down? That would have been premature. And not that it’s the most important thing, but stabbing someone to death on your last case and then shooting someone on your first case back would raise a lot of questions.”

Jessie didn’t reply. Not because she disagreed with Ryan but because he was missing part of the picture. The truth was that she hadn’t felt what he was worried about—that familiar desire to wreak violent vengeance on the killer. That should have been heartening.

But deep down, she wondered if she hadn’t shot Vanessa Winston when she attacked Prager because she felt a kinship with her. Some part of her agreed that Elise Prager had led the Winstons down the road to marital ruin. And Prager was indeed a narcissist who appeared to relish the madness she introduced into these couples’ lives.

Prager didn't deserve to die, but did she deserve to be saved? Had Jessie held off on shooting Vanessa Winston so she could experience Prager's death vicariously through someone else's actions? The fact that Jessie was even asking herself these questions made her deeply uncomfortable.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Ryan was looking at her, concerned. He couldn’t read her mind but knew her well enough to see that she was troubled.

“I’ll admit it’s a lot. Only two days back in the country and I’m back in the thick of it. I watched one woman die and helped save the person who killed her. My brain is mush from not having really slept in over two days. But all things considered, yes, I’m okay.”

But that was a lie. She most definitely was not okay