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CHAPTER ONE

Becca

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I dreamed of having the perfect family like my parents—a husband who can’t get enough of me, kids to snuggle, and a dog to play fetch in the back yard. Instead, I’m standing in the living room of my downtown condominium, divorced.

No husband asking where his yellow tie is or where we’re going to dinner.

No kids running around with sticky fingers and fighting over the last Pop-Tart.

No dog jumping on the couch, wagging his tail for me to pet him, then looking at me with pouty eyes, as I grab my briefcase to walk out the door.

Before I divorced Dennis, at least there was the occasional clinking of a wine glass or the thumping of fingers against a keyboard. Now, it’s noiseless.

I continue to tell myself that this is what I wanted. But is it? Maybe I don’t need sex in a marriage. Maybe companionship is enough. Who needs a peen?

I do.

At least Mamaw thought so. Before Mamaw passed away, she told me, “Queen Bee.” That’s her nickname for me.

“Just like Corbin, you need someone to widen your horizons, push you out of your comfort zone, and make your body quake,” she cackled, then coughed.

Corbin’s my younger brother by one year and we may as well be twins, except our appearance.

“Mamaw!”

“Well, isn’t that why you wanted a divorce? You weren’t getting any lovin’.”

I shook my head before she wrapped me in her frail arms.

“My sweet Becca, you’ve made us all proud.

You’re giving, intelligent, athletic, and stubborn.

You told Dennis what you needed, and he couldn’t or didn’t want to give it to you.

I think you were in love with a lifestyle.

Fine wine and intellectual conversations.

When what you need is a hell-raising, beer-drinking man who loves to be surrounded by friends and family.

Dennis never wanted to be around our family or Corbin’s friends.

Who doesn’t love all those sweet Stallions? ”

She was right; Dennis preferred to be with his friends, only going to dinner with my friends if it was a work function.

I wrap my fingers tightly around my royal-blue, stainless-steel coffee mug with STALLIONS CHEER imprinted in white.

My brother Corbin and his wife Oakley insist that I’ll find happiness.

Oakley, who has no filter, keeps saying, “You need to quit worrying about who you think you should be with and be with a person who looks at you like you’re the bag of cotton candy at the county fair. ”

Mamaw was one of a kind, always having a funny or interesting way of making her point. And Oakley could have been her granddaughter, and she’s right. I need to be someone’s cotton candy. I chuckle at the thought of someone licking me clean.

With divorce papers finalized and tucked away in the filing cabinet, nothing has filled the void of being alone.

I’m working fifteen to twenty-hour days, and each day blurs into the next.

There’s a never-ending supply of briefs and contracts that’s only broken by the pinging of phones and the buzzing of intercoms.

I sink into the couch while staring at my old cheer cup.

Cheering for the Kentucky Stallions and making the USA Team has been the highlight of my life.

And now that I think about it, it shouldn’t be.

The pinnacle should have been the day I married Dennis.

Who knew from the day he signed the separation papers that it would take another six months to dissolve the marriage?

When two people agree, it should be quick and easy.

“My life sucks,” I scream as I beat one fist against the couch. Luckily, the coffee doesn’t spill over and burn my skin. Leaning my head back on the cushion, frustration consumes me at how I let my life spiral out of control.

My phone plays our college fight song, and I know it’s Corbin. Six of my nine siblings have a unique ringtone and once the three littles grow up, they will too.

“Hey, what’s up?” I ask, trying to sound happy.

“Just wondering if you’re ready for the big Stallions reunion. I’m so happy you’re coming. It’s going to be epic.” Corbin’s voice exudes happiness. Before he found Oakley at the truck stop, he was focused and on the quiet side, but now he practically sings.

“I’m ready.”

“Are you? Because you sound depressed.”

Ignoring his question, I exhale into the phone and ask, “Is John still coming?”

“He is…” Corbin hesitates, “He’s…”

“What?”

“He’s back with his ex. She’s coming too.”

Great.

“We’re friends. It’s fine.”

From the background, I hear Oakley say, “Don’t worry, we’re going to get you laid. Dawes got a divorce. There are actually a few single guys, so you can have your pick.” She bursts out laughing.

Corbin covers the phone but even though it’s muffled, I can still hear. “Babe, I don’t want to talk about my sister’s sex life.”

I shout, “Don’t worry. I don’t have one. ”

“Sis, you’ll come through the other side. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known, other than Mamaw and Oakley.”

“I know. I need to call Madison and pack. Are you still picking me up on the way to the airport tomorrow?”

“Yep. I’ll be there at five in the morning.”

A low rumbling growl travels up my throat, and we both say in unison, “The early bird gets the worm.” Our mom always uses that term, and we’ve always been early risers because of our athletics.

I feel a smile sliding across my face just thinking about cheerleading and what it meant to me. I dance for the professional basketball team, The Nashville Fireflies, but it isn’t the same. I miss the thrill of competing.

“And Becca, you friend zoned him, I don’t know if anything happened between you. He’s been quiet about it. But if it did, you can tell me.”

Not wanting to talk about it, I add, “I know. I’ll see you in the morning. Can’t wait to relax on the beach with a strawberry daiquiri in hand.”

“Oakley has big plans, and I must admit, I’m a little scared of how this honeymoon slash Stallions reunion will shake out. Love ya, sis.”

“You, too.”

Since Corbin married Oakley on a friend’s pool deck almost a year ago, this is the first opportunity they’ve had to take a honeymoon, so he convinced his Stallion teammates from colleges to make it their annual reunion.

And since I didn’t want to go alone, I asked Madison, my cheerleading teammate to come with me.

Just when I’m thinking about her, she calls. Before I’ve said hello, she asks, “How many bathing suits are you taking? I have ten in my suitcase.”

She’s always known how to make me forget my problems. Madison is a true Southern girl from Alabama. Everything is monogrammed. Every word drawn out. Every outfit perfectly suited for the occasion. So, why would a bathing suit be any different?

“Ten doesn’t seem like enough considering we’ll be there ten days.” I chuckle. “You’ll need two a day.”

“Well, fudge.” Although we’re on the phone, I know the expression she’s wearing, biting her lip and twisting it to the side with her brows pinched.

“I’m kidding. It’s a resort; if you need more, we can buy more, or maybe do laundry.” My voice lifts at the end at the suggestion of Madison doing laundry. I lived with her through four years of college and had to pick up her clothes to walk through the apartment.

“This will be like Spring Break our junior year… surrounded by hot guys. I hope there are some single ones.”

“There will be. Corbin said some of the Stallion bachelors are coming, not just hockey players. Of course, Dane and Lettie, but I think Logan and Harper are coming with some other Stallions.

Madison squeals, “It’ll be like old times.”

That’s why it’s called a reunion.

“Okay, I’ll see you in a couple of days in paradise.”

We hang up, and I head into the bathroom to pack my toiletries, putting things in little one-ounce bottles for my carry on. I can’t risk my skin care getting lost if my baggage doesn’t make it there. Between cheer and hockey, I’ve traveled the world and have had my share of lost bags.

When I come back, a message is waiting on me.

John: It’ll be good to see you. I don’t want things to be awkward between us.