Page 24 of The Pakhan’s Forced Bride (West Coast Bratva Pakhans #3)

Being home isn’t the comfort that I hoped it might be.

It’s been almost three weeks, and I miss him more with each passing moment.

Benedikt is forcing me to stay in his mansion, but that’s not terrible, because it’s better than dealing with my mother every day right now. She visits often, but I still have some peaceful moments in between.

And it’s nice to have Ulyana around, for someone to talk to.

Benedikt is still angry with me. He talks to me, but it’s clipped and short.

Every morning I wake up heavy. And every night I fall asleep with tears in my eyes, soaking into my pillow.

My heart is like a stone in my chest. Always aching. I’ve tried so hard to ignore it, to ignore the fact that Ardalion is always in my thoughts, but I can’t.

No matter how much I try to tell myself that I’m home where I belong, it doesn’t feel right anymore.

I love him. I wish I didn’t, but I do.

And I miss him terribly.

And he didn’t even fight for me when I walked away, or after.

The things he said are still heavy on my heart, aching inside me. False accusations that pushed a wedge between us.

My mother walks into the kitchen, visiting us for breakfast.

She’s been spending a lot of time here since I got back.

I can’t blame her. For a while, they all thought I had been kidnapped, and that must have been difficult.

But my mother hasn’t offered any warmth or love or advice; she’s right back onto her task of finding me a husband by setting up those horrible blind dates.

“Darling, I’ve made a reservation at the Paloma for this evening. You’ll need to get a new dress. The man you’re having dinner with is very high ranking, and—"

“No,” I spin on my heel, snapping at her, angry that she’s doing this again. I’ve said no to every date she’s tried to set me up on since I got home. I haven’t even settled in yet; I still have a ring on my finger. I’m still married. And she’s already pushing.

“Belle, you aren’t getting any younger. You need to find a husband before the men are no longer willing to look at you.”

“Excuse me?” I snap angrily, defensive, annoyed that she’s so capable of making me feel self-conscious in my own skin.

I haven’t felt anything but beautiful for the past few months, surrounded by Ardalion’s adoration and compliments, and the way he looks at me as though I’m the only girl on this earth.

“Belle, you have to have a husband,” she huffs, folding her arms over her chest.

I hold up my hand to show her the ring. “I have a husband, Mom. I’m married.”

“Ugh. I mean a real husband. And take off that ring, it’s ridiculous that you’re still wearing it.

I’ll need to talk to your brother about getting rid of that marriage contract.

We can’t have your new potential husband deterred by realizing you still need to get a divorce.

I need to make that disappear in a hurry, quietly. The scandal is horrific to think of.”

A smile of utter disbelief brushes over my lips as I shake my head.

“Mom, I said it before, but I need you to listen very carefully. Please,” I say, pulling my mother by her shoulders so that she’s facing me, and I have her undivided attention. She pulls her mouth tight, pursing it angrily.

“Mom, I love you, but you have to stop trying to set me up on these horrible dates. Firstly, I’m not interested in anyone you’ve ever chosen for me. And secondly, I am married, whether you like it or not .”

My mother pulls away from me, annoyed. She scrunches her face in disgust. “You are making a mistake. The men I choose for you are strong, powerful, and capable of giving you a good life. You have to forget that man. Stop pretending like that marriage meant anything.” She’s shouting and angry with me for saying no to her.

She’s used to people walking softly around her, obeying her, doing as she asks.

But I’m not going to be that girl anymore. This is my life. And this is my heart. And even if holding onto Ardalion means I never get to experience love again, or I stay single for the rest of my life, I accept that.

It’s my life and my choice.

“No. It’s as simple as that,” I snap, meeting her anger with my own.

“Belle, how dare you—"

“Can’t you see I’m hurting, Mom?” I blurt out, tears suddenly streaming from my eyes, surprising even me.

“What?” she stammers, her face softening with confusion and shock. “Hurting?”

“I’m hurting Mom. My heart is broken. I don’t want to let him go. I know I have to, but I’m not ready,” I sob, emotions rushing from me.

My mother hurries to my side and pulls me into her arms. “Sweetheart,” she says, gently stroking my hair as she holds me close. “I didn’t know you had feelings for the man.”

I bury my face in her shoulder and let go of everything I’ve been holding onto, no longer trying to be strong and brave for the sake of acting tough or normal.

“I-I don’t understand why he didn’t fight for me? I thought I meant something to him, but he said the nastiest things after Benedikt attacked him. He didn’t even let me explain myself.”

I pour my heart out, and my mother, for the first time ever, just listens. I tell her why I hated the blind dates, I tell her how I fell in love with Ardalion without even realizing it was happening. I tell her how he made me feel beautiful and safe.

She listens, and finally, she understands me.

It’s a breakthrough in our relationship.

“All I ever wanted for you was security, Belle. I was trying to make sure you had a good future with a good man. I didn’t mean to put you through that,” she sighs, tucking a curl behind my ear.

“I know, Mom, I know you were just looking out for me, but it was horrible. And now—I don’t know what to do. I found the man I love, but I don’t think he loves me the same way,” I sigh, shrugging.

“Give it time, sweetheart. Time has a way of sorting things out. If it’s meant to be, it will be. If it’s not, then time will help you heal.”

I nod, understanding her advice, agreeing with it, even though I’m terrified that time will make him forget me.

She hugs me tight and whispers in my ear. “I’m really sorry, sweetheart. I’m sorry you’re going through this, and I’m sorry I didn’t make it any easier.”

“I love you, Mom,” I whisper, holding her tighter, too.

***

Late in the afternoon, I’m watching a series in the living room, trying to distract my constant thoughts of him.

I hear Ulyana, pacing outside the room, talking on the phone.

I press mute on the remote and cock my head to the side, worried about the tone of her voice. She sounds anxious.

“Benedikt, I don’t like this,” she says. "You didn’t tell me that the enemy was back."

I get off the sofa and sneak to the door, getting closer so that I can hear more.

She continues to pace. “Okay, but you can’t go alone,” she huffs, her voice tense. “No, I won’t say anything to her.” To whom?

“Okay,” she sighs. “I love you.”

Ulyana jumps when I step into the hallway outside the living room.

“Belle?” she says, placing her hand over her heart.

“Is everything okay?” I ask, narrowing my eyes. “I heard you on the phone,” I add, letting her know I was eavesdropping and she may as well tell me everything.

She huffs and rolls her eyes.

I stand waiting.

“That enemy that was causing all the trouble—he’s back. Benedikt just got word that the guy is about to launch an attack on one of his locations here in Vegas.” She bites her lip, watching me.

“But he was preparing for this attack for a week already, wasn’t he?” I ask, sensing that she’s not saying everything.

“Yes,” she says, scrunching her nose, a flash of guilt in her eyes.

“Yana. Come on. What was the call really about? What did you mean when you said you wouldn’t say anything to ‘her,’ were you talking about me?”

“Ugh.” Yana lets out a frustrated sigh. “I hate being stuck in the middle of this.” She throws her hands in the air in defeat.

“Ardalion is here in Las Vegas,” she blurts out.

“I know you’re still struggling with everything, Belle.

We just didn’t think it was a good idea for you to know he was here. ”

“Ard is here?” I stammer in shock. “He’s in Vegas? Why didn’t he come see me? Why is he here?” I’m so confused about what’s going on.

Maybe Nestor asked him to come down. Why else would he be here?

Ulyana closes her eyes for a moment. I can see her wrestling with the fact that she wasn’t supposed to say anything at all—and now she’s telling me everything.

“Ardalion is working with Benedikt to stop the attacks.”

Her confession has my heart racing.

“We have to go check on them,” I say with urgency.

Yana shakes her head. “It’s dangerous, Belle.”

“We don’t have to get too close. I just want to see if they’re still so angry at each other.

How can they work together if they hate each other?

” I furrow my brow and stare at her with the widest puppy eyes I can muster.

“Please, Ulyana, I’m going crazy here. There has to be a safe way to check on them. ”

“Benedikt is going to skin me alive,” Ulyana groans. “Come on. I’ll drive.”

“Oh my word, thank you.” I grab her in a hug, then follow her out to the car, my body tense with anxiety at the idea of possibly catching a glimpse of Ardalion again.

***

We park far enough from the warehouse that we’re out of sight, but with a clear view of the front area.

Both of us climb out and stand with our backs leaning against the bonnet of the car, looking down the embankment towards Benedikt’s warehouse.

Ulyana is nervous, not wanting Benedikt to see her and be angry with her.

“You can blame it all on me,” I reassure her, lifting the binoculars to my eyes for a closer look. She lifts hers as well, and together we scan the area looking for them or any clues.

“You know that won’t work,” she huffs. “He’ll still be angry with me.”

“But I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you bringing me here, Yana,” I say. “I needed to see this with my own eyes.”

After a while, I drop the binoculars down and squint towards the warehouse. Something’s happening. Men are coming out from inside.

And suddenly he’s there, standing in front of the wide corrugated doors.

Ardalion is a massive bulk of muscle and strength, and standing next to my brother, the two of them look unstoppable. He’s dressed head to toe in black, as he usually is, his thick arms folded across his chest. He’s wearing a double shoulder holster, two guns set against his ribs on either side.

There are a lot of security guys around them.

They’re clearly discussing something and planning as Benedikt points and men move off in different directions, getting into place in preparation for the attack.

My eyes are set on Ardalion, my heart racing, my mind spinning with all the things that might have been between us. All the unspoken words.

Seeing him hurts. It sets a fire in my chest and burns the threat of tears behind my eyes.

It makes the longing to be in his arms a hundred times worse.

Why didn’t he at least message me to tell me he’s here?

He didn’t even try. As though I mean nothing to him.

“Oh my word—around the side,” Ulyana gasps.

My body goes rigid with fear as we see the enemy creeping around the back of the warehouse.

Gunfire breaks out, and I stand, wanting to run towards it.

Ulyana grabs me and tugs me back to the car. “Don’t you dare,” she yells, holding me back as we watch the chaos erupt below us.

Every moment is agony.

Benedikt and Ardalion spring to action, pulling their weapons and joining the fight.

Ulyana keeps a tight grip on my hand, holding me close to her side. She’s barely breathing. Neither am I.

It’s obvious that our side was well prepared, but there is so much bloodshed that it’s hard to tell who is where and what is going on.

Benedikt is creeping around the side of the warehouse towards the bulk of the gunfire.

Someone comes from the other side and lifts a gun towards him.

“Benedikt!” Ulyana screams in terror as the enemy fires, shooting at my brother.

The entire world shifts into slow motion. I feel Ulyana’s nails digging into my hand painfully, and I sense the agony of her scream, still hanging in the air. Benedikt spins towards the sound of her voice, even though she’s so far away.

We watch the bullet spinning towards him—

But Ardalion leaps into the path of that bullet.

He jumps between the enemy’s gun and my brother.

The bullet slams into his stomach, just below his Kevlar vest. The only reason I know it didn’t hit the vest is because of the spray of blood that erupts around him like a mist.

Now it’s me screaming.

Benedikt fires two shots, taking down the man who fired at him and hitting Ardalion instead.

Within minutes, the entire thing is over.

The shooting stops. The enemy is defeated.

But Ardalion is lying unconscious on the ground, a massive pool of blood growing around him.

I pull free of Ulyana’s grasp and run down the hill.

She screams my name, but I ignore her, rushing towards the man I love, skidding to a halt as I kneel beside him.

Benedikt says nothing to me as Ulyana arrives at his side and wraps her arms around him.

“What are you doing here?” he asks her.

She doesn’t reply, just holds him tighter.

“Is he dead?” I ask, flooded with fear.

“No, Belle, but you need to give them space to help him,” Benedikt says, trying to pull me away.

I refuse, needing to stay at his side.

“Ardalion. It’s me. Please be okay,” I beg.

“Belle, we need to get him out of here.”

“I’m driving with him. I don’t care what you say. I’m not leaving his side.”