Page 22 of The Orc’s Sweetheart (Creatures & Cottages)
Chapter 22
Bodin
U nder a cloudless night sky, I stroll back to my apartment above The Bandaged Heart, the stars twinkling like they know some secret I’m not yet privy to. Planning the most perfect, most romantic claiming proposal for Tilly, with some help—okay, a lot of help—from Beryl and Calixta, was way more fun than I thought it would be. This would of course only happen after an appropriate period of time, but thinking about all the thoughtful details has my feet practically floating above the ground.
It may seem fast to fall in love this quickly, to be this sure about someone, but I know I’ve found the most perfect partner for me, my one. When I’m with Tilly, I feel safe, like I can be my true, unfiltered self. I want to be her shelter too, the person she can rely on for anything. But mostly, I want to make her happy, give her a reason to smile every day.
As I turn onto First Street, I spot a light burning in the corner room of the clinic.
Is Tilly still in her office or did she forget to turn off the light before she left?
I peek through the window of The Bandaged Heart and watch Tilly hunched over a file, furiously scribbling in her notebook with a rainbow of tiny papers strewn across the desk. I can appreciate Tilly’s dedication to her patients, but if she’s so engrossed in a case that she’s stayed here this late, she might’ve forgotten to have dinner too. The least I can do is take care of that for her.
Quietly rushing upstairs, I think through what I have in my fridge. It might not be an extravagant dinner, but I don’t want her to walk all the way back to her cottage in the middle of the night and then still have to worry about preparing something.
I grab a plate and make sure it’s not the chipped one I kept for myself, but rather one of those I collected from Tilly’s house. Thankfully, I bought fresh bread earlier today from The Flowering Teapot, and I quickly throw together a substantial sandwich, then add some grapes and carrot sticks to the plate. It seems that Tilly’s dedication to ensuring I have a balanced meal has rubbed off on me.
I take extra care with my footsteps, trying not to stomp too loudly as I descend, just as Ma has asked me to do since moving into the apartment upstairs. Tilly doesn’t even look up as I knock softly on the outer door of the clinic, so I push it open slowly and make my way to her office until I’m standing in the doorway.
After a second, Tilly’s head snaps up. “Bodin! What are you doing here?” Her shocked expression quickly morphs into pleasant surprise.
“I brought you dinner.” I hold up the plate in case it isn’t obvious.
“Dinner? What time is it?” Tilly glances at the dark sky through the window, and grabs the back of her neck, stretching what must surely be sore muscles. My hands ache to reach forward and rub her back, massage any tension out her body, until she’s a relaxed heap in my arms.
No Bodin, no touching until you’ve told her everything. Remember the plan.
“It’s really late,” I say lamely, and hand Tilly the plate before settling into a chair across the table. “Please eat something.”
Tilly’s brows pull down and she quirks her head to the side. “How did you know I haven’t eaten yet?”
I shrug. “An educated guess.”
Tilly purses her lips as she waits for me to elaborate, so I explain, “After leaving me with Calixta and Beryl, you came to the clinic to read up on Ren’s file. Judging by the notes strewn across the desk and Ren’s name at the top of the open file, I’m guessing you haven’t moved from your spot.”
“Ah, yes. When you put it like that, it does seem quite obvious.” Tilly’s face lights up as she taps her finger on her open notebook. “I think I’ve figured out some things about Ren, but I’d love to see him in person tomorrow and ask him a couple more questions. I’ll try my best not to make him too uncomfortable, but there might be a way to help him. If he wants help, that is.”
My lips tip up at Tilly’s care for her patients and her sensitivity toward their proclivities. “He’s a kind creature, albeit awkward at times. Please don’t be offended if he’s not receptive to your advice at first. As you know, some creatures tend to find change difficult.”
Something in my voice must give me away, because Tilly reaches over the desk and takes my hand in two of hers. “Does that include you?”
Maybe the plan was to tell her everything tomorrow morning, to bare all my old scars and explain what led to my prejudice, but I don’t want to delay any longer. No matter how cruel the ghosts of my pasts are, I don’t want them to overshadow my future with Tilly.
Even if I have to dredge up each painful memory, I will do so to give Tilly all my truths, to give her my past, my present, my future, every piece of me.
“I owe you an explanation,” I begin, fighting against the knot in my throat. “It’s time you know more about my past and why I behaved so shamefully toward you when you first arrived. I’ll talk while you eat.”
Tilly shakes her head. “I wouldn’t call it shameful. Maybe a touch rude?”
“Whatever it is, it wasn’t okay. Take a bite first, then I’ll start talking.” Tilly makes an appreciative moaning sound around a mouthful of the sandwich. “Good girl,” I rumble out, quickly followed by a mental slap to stay on track .
Tilly doesn’t seem to hear my response as she covers her full mouth to say, “This is delicious. Thank you. I didn’t realize how hungry I was.”
I wait for her to take a couple more bites before I dive in. “I’ve always been fascinated with buildings and applied for a structural engineering degree at Cape Easton University, but I think my experience might have differed vastly from yours there. I got accepted and was so excited to learn everything I could—how to design structures, how to ensure they’re safe and stable against any kinds of weather. I had such lofty goals for myself, for the types of buildings I would work on, but the city was a much harsher environment and the creatures more discriminatory than I expected it to be.”
Tilly sits absolutely frozen, face stoic and shoulders rigid. Her sandwich is paused halfway to her mouth, eyes filled with so much compassion, as she waits for me to continue. Having her whole focus on me, knowing she’s already hearing what I haven’t even said yet has a vise squeezing around my heart.
“Take another bite before I continue.”
She bites obediently into the bread, but chews slowly, attention still riveted on me.
I clear my throat and continue, “It started in my first class in my first year with a small remark here or there—mostly about being from Starry Hill. Questions about if we have power or running water on the island. Things progressed quickly from there, with have I ever been to a ballpark, or a museum, or do we even have schools on the island, and who did I have to fuck to get a place at the university. Questions about my intelligence and my ability to be an engineer if I’ve never been inside of a bunch of impressive skyscrapers, never mind the comments on if I can hold a pencil in my big orc hands without snapping it.
“Things escalated to messing with my backpack, notes stuffed into it with terrible messages I don’t want to ever think about again. I tried to ignore all of them, to not give in to my temper and prove them right about any of their assumptions. Once, I tried to join a student club, but wasn’t accepted because it might ‘make the other students uncomfortable.’
“A few of the other nonhuman species experienced similar treatment, especially those looking less notably human, but most of the students’ disdain seemed to be focused on me and where I was from. The message was clear, though, we weren’t welcome in Cape Easton society.
“The comments continued throughout the years and made me doubt if I should even be there. I worried that once I finally graduated with my degree that I wouldn’t be able to find a job in the city. And honestly by that point, I didn’t even want to stay anyway. I began to focus more on bringing my knowledge home to Starry Hill. I could ensure that my community would be safe, and that all the buildings would be up to code.”
Tilly’s eyes fill with tears and she whispers, “I’m so sorry, Bodin. That’s awful. I can’t imagine how hard it must’ve been.”
The corners of my mouth pull down into a bitter grin. “It got harder in my final year. I persisted through all their mocking, but at some point there was a popular female who showed some interest in me. I was flattered, and it had been so long since someone had shown me any interest or kindness. But I was also stupid for trusting her. ”
“Bodin, no.” Tilly’s hand covers her mouth and a tear drips down her cheek.
I stare blankly at a spot on the table, unable to look in Tilly’s eyes as I reveal the part that hurt me the most. “She said all the right things. One night we went back to her apartment after what I thought was a very nice date. After we had sex, she reached into her nightstand to pull out a notebook.”
“No,” Tilly sobs.
My voice is thick with emotion as I continue, “She proudly showed it to me and ticked off ‘orc.’ I wasn’t her first conquest. She was a collector of sorts. I saw gargoyle, sylph, minotaur, pixie, and a few others I can’t recall right now. There was a portion next to our species where she wrote down ‘cock features’ and a score out of ten. But no names were added. That wasn’t something she cared about.”
“Bodin.” Tilly’s voice breaks on my name, and I glance up to see tears flowing freely down her face, spilling onto her shirt. “That’s horrible.”
She rounds the desk and slips onto my lap. Reaching up, Tilly brushes her thumbs across my wet cheeks. I’m not sure when I started crying, but feeling her touch grounds me. I wrap my arms around her and pull her closer. Burying my face in the crook of her neck, I breathe her in deeply, my whole being calming in her presence.
“I’m so sorry that happened to you,” she whispers, her entire body shaking as she cries. For me.
I hug her closer and run a hand through her long hair, comforting her as she comforts me. “It was a long time ago. I was stubborn enough to go back to class the next day and—despite all the stares, whispers, and snickers directed at me—I pretended nothing had happened and she didn’t exist. Not long after, I got my piercings as a means of taking my power back, designing my cock the way I want it to look and feel, and not to resemble what she ticked off on that list or most likely described to all her friends. Then, I quietly finished my degree and came straight back to Starry Hill to start my job as the island’s cottage caretaker. I’ve never been back to Cape Easton since.”
Tilly leans back and frames my face in her hands. Her brows furrow in fierce determination over her teary brown eyes as she implores me to hear her. “Any place would be lucky to have you. Fucking lucky,” she enunciates. “I’m sorry that you had to be surrounded by such atrocious creatures, and I’m so sorry for how they treated you. Those Cape Easton students missed out on getting to know one of the most wonderful creatures I’ve ever met, and it’s an unfathomable loss to them.
“Because to know you , Bodin, is to love you. It’s impossible not to love you. Where you’re from and what species you are—whether you’re human, orc, goblin, or dragon—it’s never held any sway over my opinion of you. I’m so sorry that you got treated like that, and I understand your distrust toward city creatures. But please know,” she adds in a tender voice, “with me, you are safe.”
I gently brush Tilly’s tears away. “I’m sorry I doubted you in the beginning. You didn’t deserve to be grouped in with those city creatures who hurt me in the past. You are so good, Tilly, so good. I’ll never stop apologizing for how I treated you at first.”
Her smile is small as she shakes her head. “No need. You’re all forgiven.”
“Wait.” My head cocks to the side as my brain finally catches up to everything Tilly said. “It almost sounded like you said you love me? Or did I interpret that wrong?”
Tilly pouts adorably and mumbles, “I wasn’t supposed to slip that into my speech while blubbering.”
I place a finger under her chin and tilt her head up. “Sweetheart, you know I love you too, right?”
Eyes rounding with hope, Tilly asks sweetly, “You do?”
I nod easily, my conviction bleeding into my voice. “Of course. When I’m with you, everything just feels… right. Like my heart has found its home.”
Renewed tears leak out of the corners of Tilly’s eyes as she gives me a watery smile. “That’s how I feel too. I don’t know how it happened so quickly, especially after my box of plates fell on you, but I was pretty sure I knew I was going to fall in love with you that night you carried me home.”
Leaning my forehead against Tilly’s, I whisper, “That’s when I knew too. You can throw a thousand plates at me and it wouldn’t change how I feel about you.”
Tilly glides a hand through my hair and smiles up at me with such pure admiration and love that I can viscerally feel it coursing through my body, my own feelings multiplied and reflected back to her.
My soul seeks hers like a flower in her garden seeks the sun, like her warmth is essential to my being.
Our mouths find each other, our lips brushing and tongues meeting, hands reaching for a way to seal our love—our tears already forgotten.
Every touch sears my skin, stoking the fire burning deep in my gut.
Tilly’s hands grow greedy—pulling, pushing, touching every part of me she can. Every needy little moan escaping from the back of her throat is met with a groan from me as I devour her mouth, her neck, every inch of skin I can reach.
“Tilly, I need you,” I growl against her skin, my voice rough with lust.
“Take me,” she pants.