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I was mostly successful.

As he twisted his head to peer at me, I blurted, “I think you are a fine leader.”

“Liar.” The twist of his lips belied his harsh words. “I am grateful for yer suggestion to form the council.”

I reared back. “What?” I had few enough conversations with him—before yesterday—that I remembered them all. “I never suggested…”

“Nay, no’ outright.” He squeezed my hand. “’Twas at the beginning of the winter, ye suggested I was unfit for leadership—I believe ye called me arrogant and lazy —and I should allow someone aulder and wiser to lead.”

Oh .

I felt my cheeks heating again and pulled my hand from his. “I did not mean…”

“It matters naught.” He slowly straightened. “Because it made me consider how I could share leadership with those who were aulder and wiser. Starting the council, asking for their help, meeting with them here…” He shrugged, one side of his lips curling. “I am grateful, ye ken.”

“You are not lazy,” I blurted.

And his lips finished their curl into a full smile. “But I am arrogant?”

“I should not have said that.” Swinging my focus back to the fire, I tried to save face. “I do not think you arrogant. I just did not like the way…”

You did not like me .

When I trailed off, he turned to face me fully on the bench.

“Aye? What do ye no’ like about me, my pretty little human?”

I scowled. “The way you treat me—” like I’m different. I bit down on the rest of my complaint. “I do not like that you belittle yerself. The Bloodfire Clan is lucky to have you to act as their chief.”

Vartok was studying me. “ Their chief, Myra? Ye dinnae think of yerself as one of us?”

I did. But…I lived in borrowed beds in an other’s home. It was a situation I’d long grown used to, so I shrugged and tried to make light of it.

“I doubt I will ever fully belong.” Anywhere .

“I dinnae like the sound of that. I want ye to belong here.”

“Well, I suppose, since you are the chief…”

“Shite ,” he muttered, pushing himself to his feet. “I’m no’ the chief. I’m just the puir bastard who happened to be next in line,” he growled as he paced. “The full moon is in a few days…”

If Torvolk could tear himself away from his Mating Heat with Isadora—the whole village was smirking about their enthusiasm—he’d be going out to look for signs of Kragorn again.

“You would still have to wait another month to hear back,” I murmured sympathetically.

“Aye, and each month that passes…” He trailed off but ran his fingers across the top of his head, catching his topknot and squeezing it hard before shaking his head again. “I’ve prayed more in these last six months than I ever have,” he whispered. “Prayed for Kragorn’s safe return.”

I watched him pace. “For your brother’s sake, or for yours?”

He scowled over his shoulder at me. “I miss him. Malla the Beginner kens I miss him. But I’m…” He trailed off and ceased his pacing to face the fire. When he whispered the confession, I almost didn’t hear it.

“I’m scared, Myra.”

Somehow I found myself on my feet .

“Of what?”

He didn’t turn. “That I’ll have to stay chief. I wasnae meant to be this responsible, this commanding.”

His torment pulled at me, and I was standing at his back before I realized what I was doing.

“I am sorry,” I murmured, placing my palm against the middle of his back. “But you are not bad at it, Vartok. You are good at taking command.” I should know. “I…We trust you to…lead.”

He was still for a long moment—not just still, but frozen. I imagined I could feel him struggling with himself and wondered if he was debating whether or not he should make a flippant comment about last night. About how I’d allowed him control.

About how I’d come undone at his command.

But when he turned suddenly to grasp my shoulders, heavy fur cloak sweeping around him, he didn’t seem flippant. His dark eyes glowed with a spark of green I’d seen just faintly last night.

“Do ye ever get scared, Myra?”

I was taken aback and answered before I thought it through.

“Aye, often.”

“Of what?” he asked intently, and I knew he wasn’t going to mock me for admitting my lackings.

Still, I couldn’t tell him that I was afraid of my body’s reaction to him, could I? I locked my gaze on his chest.

“When my mother died, my sister and I had no home. We had to beg our uncle to let us stay with him. I remember shielding her behind me, so afraid he would deny us.”

Vartok’s hold softened and his hands moved over my shoulders toward my back, stroking me gently. Comforting me?

“He took ye in?”

“He was a bitter, broken, hurting man. He saw that I had some skill with healing and thought I would be useful.” Avaleen, with her love of animals, had kept the arsehole’s farm going in his final years. “When I realized the end was near for him, I was terrified of where we would go next.”

His hands stilled. “Ye cared for him and he’d made nae provision for ye after his death?”

I exhaled, feeling myself relaxing into his warmth. ‘Twas easier than looking up at him. “Humans are different. We did not have a chief to look out for our best interests. Avie and I would have been homeless again had Mkaalad not chosen her as his Mate.”

Vartok stiffened. “Mates are no’ chosen , Myra. They are…fated. My cousin took one look at yer sister and just kenned .”

I felt my lips twitch wryly. “Aye, I understand that now. Then? I was just relieved she had a place, and was grateful when she—when you all—offered me a place. I have tried to be useful.”

“Is that what?—”

He tugged me away so he could frown down at me, and I could read the confusion on his face .

“Myra, ye dinnae have to be useful to be a member of our clan. Ye’re one of us now. This is yer home.”

Was it?

I had no place to call my own, no security the way the other human women did. ‘Twas why it had been so nerve-wracking to consider approaching Vartok to learn about pleasure.

I couldn’t afford to slip up. I couldn’t afford not to be considered useful.

Vartok’s hands ran down my back then up my arms.

“What else are ye afraid of, sweet Myra?” he murmured, his gaze flicking across my face. “Surely, no’ of us . No’ of us forcing ye to leave the way yer bastard of an uncle did.”

Sometimes I was afraid, aye. So I swallowed, confessing more.

“I am a midwife who is afraid of birth,” I whispered. “Each time, I know what can go wrong.”

“That is normal,” he announced promptly.

And that surprised me so that my gaze smacked into his, my lips twitching.

“How would you know?”

He shrugged, even as he pulled me closer again. “Because each time I pick up an ingot to turn it into a blade, I am afraid of what will go wrong. But I am good at my job, and so are ye. We have no’ lost any mothers since ye came to live with us, and neither have our allies.”

Aye, that was the truth. But I’d lost other mothers, other bairns, when I lived in the human’s world. Where women were often beaten and starving and exhausted. Here was different, I told myself.

It didn’t stop the fear.

“Avaleen…” I whispered.

And he sighed, tucking me against him, then dropped his chin to the top of my head.

“Aye, lass. With each Mating there is a fear, and yer sister’s the size of a horse, truth be told. My cousin is no’ a small man.”

I poked Vartok in the side. “You are not helping.”

“Mayhap ‘tis twins?” he announced cheerfully. “Twins are common.”

I shook my head. “I can only hear one heart beating beneath hers and can only feel one spine and head. I think the bairn is just large.”

To my surprise, Vartok shrugged again, then pressed his cheek to my curls.

“Then ye will just have to be extra attentive, dkaar . A big kitling can be alarming, but I ken ye’ll get her through the birth. I ken ye will protect her.”

His faith was…humbling. And, strangely, it gave me courage.

Surprising, because he clearly had no idea what he was talking about. Still, I found myself smiling.

Or mayhap ‘twas because he was holding me so close. So…warmly. I didn’t think ‘twas the fire which had me snuggling closer. Vartok was cherishing me .

What?

Had last night been so pivotal to him?

Two days ago, he’d treated me as if he wanted naught to do with me, like I was different from all the other women. And now? He was cuddling with me like I was one of his conquests .

He hummed against the top of my head.

“I can feel ye thinking.”

Could I help the way I’d stiffened?

“You do not know me that well, Vartok,” I snapped, irritated that he was only treating me like this because of my request last night.

“I suspect I ken ye better than ye think, lass. Why did ye no’ come to me tonight?”

Well, hell.

I was hoping he wouldn’t ask me that again.

With another hum, he pulled away, but didn’t release me. Instead, he stared down, and in the dancing shadows of the fire, his expression was almost…sad?

“Ye didnae come to me because ye were afraid, aye?”

“I am not scared of you,” I barked, my hackles up as I backed away with a glare.

“Nay, ye’re no’,” he agreed quietly. “Ye’re afraid of yer body’s response to me. Of the way I made ye feel.”

I am afraid of being just another female to you .

He’d agreed to be my tutor, naught more.

And if I continued down this route, I had to know I couldn’t expect more. No matter how much it rankled my pride.

All these months, I’d hated that he treated me so differently, that he didn’t flirt or try to charm me. And now that he was doing those things with me, I was angered at the thought that he did see me as just another of his conquests?

Damnation, Myra, make up your mind !

Confused, I shook my head, my curls bouncing around my temples, and continued to back away.

“Lass—” he began.

But the fact that he’d shared so much of himself, his fears and his emotions, with me tonight? It only baffled me further.

With a little curse of confusion, I pulled my cloak around me and whirled away from him.