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The Price of Control

TATSUYA

I paced back and forth in the small apartment, my mind a storm of rage, confusion, and a desperate need to find some way to control this situation. I was glad our constant union had somehow healed most of her injuries. But right now, Momoi was silent, her eyes averted. She had been giving me the cold shoulder since the Oni’s grand plan, and the silence between us felt like it was smothering me. It was the one thing I couldn’t stand—the quiet, the distance, the uncertainty of her thoughts.

Inside, the Oni stirred, restless. He hated the silence even more than I did, but he wasn’t sure how to handle the tension.

“We’ll take her to Jigoku. It’s the only way,” the Oni growled in my mind, the words seeping in ichor, dripping into my thoughts.

I gritted my teeth, pushing back against the surge of dark desire that threatened to overtake me. I wasn’t going to let him have everything, especially not her all to himself.

“No,” I snapped. “We can’t. I’ll find another way.”

The Oni scoffed, a dark laugh echoing in my mind. “Another way? There is no other way, Tatsuya. The world as you know it is crumbling around you. There’s no place for you anymore.”

I stopped pacing and leaned against the wall, running my fingers through my hair, trying to think past the rage boiling in my veins. “There are other options. You could stay far from society, somewhere no one would ever find us. The mountains. A cave, even. Something quiet, something secluded. No more bloodshed, no more enemies. Just us. You’d have your peace.”

The Oni chuckled darkly, a sound that sent a shiver down my spine. “A cave? Really, Tatsuya? What do you expect me to do there? Meditate? You really think I want to sit there, alone, away from everything, when the world could be mine for the taking?”

I clenched my fists, trying to hold onto my last shred of humanity. “It doesn’t have to be about domination. We could live away from the world, away from the violence. You don’t need to rule everything. You could be at peace. For once.”

The Oni didn’t answer right away, but I could feel his frustration building, the hunger stirring again. He wanted more. Always more. I wasn’t sure how to make him understand, how to make him see that it wasn’t just about feeding his rage. It was about surviving, about holding onto something real.

Momoi won’t even look at me. The silent treatment—she was punishing me for the things I’d done, for the things we’d done together. For the things I’d allowed the Oni to do. And the worst part? I understood. She was right to be angry, to pull away from me. I didn’t deserve her trust.

But the Oni? He wasn’t thinking about any of that. His patience was growing thinner by the second.

“She’s silent. She’s pulling away from you, Tatsuya,” the Oni murmured in my mind, his tone almost mocking. “You should be worried. Maybe she’s already slipping away from you.”

I winced at the thought. Momoi was the one thing that still tethered me to my humanity, the one thing that made me feel as if I wasn’t completely consumed by this monster inside me. The Oni, though? He didn’t care about that. He was all about taking , about possessing . He didn’t understand the value of patience, of connection.

I turned my gaze toward her, the silence between us palpable. She was sitting on the bed, her arms wrapped around herself, trying to make herself smaller, distant. It hurt. I hated seeing her like this. Guilt gnawed at my marrows.

“I can petition for visitations to Jigoku,” I said, using my last bit of reasoning to try and calm the situation. “We don’t have to stay there. We don’t have to make this permanent. I could negotiate with the other Oni, making them allow us to return to the human realm when needed. There’s a chance to keep this… more civilized.”

The Oni’s response was instant, and the amusement in his tone was unmistakable. “Negotiations? You think I can negotiate with those fools?” He snarled, his presence swelling in my mind. “Let me make one thing clear—if we go to Jigoku, we’re not leaving until I’ve had my fill. And if you think any other Oni would respect your precious ‘visitation rights’, you’re more deluded than I thought.”

But then, the tone shifted. The Oni paused. A strange thought seemed to strike him, and I could feel a flicker of interest, a shift in his focus.

“Wait a minute… You’re right,” the Oni muttered, his voice darker now, almost calculating. “What if... what if others get ideas? What if the other Oni see her, see us, and decide they want a piece of her for themselves?”

I stiffened. My stomach churned at the thought. That wasn’t something I had even considered.

“Exactly,” I pressed, the tension in my body growing. “They’d come for her. They’d take her. And you wouldn’t be able to do anything to stop it.”

The Oni let out a low growl, clearly displeased with the realization, but there was no denying the truth. He loathed the idea of losing her, even to other demons. Even to his own kind.

“Fine,” the Oni grumbled, though I could feel his anger simmering beneath the surface. “I’ll wait. We’ll stay here, for now. But you better keep her close, Tatsuya. Because if any of those filthy demons even think about getting near her, I’ll burn them to ash.”

I didn’t respond, but inside, a part of me could breathe again. For now, the Oni had a reason to hold back. He wasn’t ready to make a move. And that was enough for me to plan the next step.

Momoi was still silent, but I could see the slightest shift in her posture, a hint that she hadn’t completely shut me out. Maybe we weren’t lost, not yet. But I knew I had to keep her safe. From everything. From the Oni. From the world.

And for the first time since meeting her, I realized that I wasn’t sure if I was trying to protect her—or if I was trying to protect myself from losing her.

I couldn't stand the silence. Every second felt stretched into eternity, suffocating me. The air between us felt thick, charged with the tension of unspoken words, emotions we were both too afraid to voice. Momoi sat there, staring at nothingness. She wouldn’t meet my eyes. Wouldn’t even acknowledge I was there.

I knew I had to do something. I couldn’t let this fester. I had to fight for her—for us.

The Oni's presence was suffocating, coiling around my thoughts in a tightening noose. He seethed in the back of my mind, his hunger for domination still roaring. His voice was a constant hum, a growl that vibrated through my skull.

"You’re pathetic, Tatsuya." He scoffed, the words thick with disdain. "Begging like this. How much lower can you sink?"

But I couldn’t back down now. I knew what I had to do. I had to prove to her that I was still the man she knew, the man she could trust, despite everything.

I took a step forward, my knees nearly buckling from the weight of the moment. The Oni was pushing against me, wanting to take control, but I couldn’t let him. Not now.

I dropped to one knee in front of her, forcing my pride into submission. The Oni snarled at the act, furious that I was lowering myself in front of her. "You disgust me," he spat, but I ignored him. This was something I had to do, even if it cost me everything.

“Momoi,” I started, my voice hoarse with the emotion I was trying to hold back. “I know I’ve messed up. I know I’ve done things that you’ll never forgive me for. But please… I’m asking for a chance.”

The Oni raged inside me, furious that I was pleading, but I couldn’t stop. I wouldn’t stop.

“I know I’m not the man I used to be. I know I’m not the person you want me to be,” I continued, my heart pounding in my chest. “But I need you to give me a chance. A chance to make it right.”

Her gaze didn’t move from the floor, but I could feel her eyes on me, could feel the weight of her judgment, her hurt. I didn’t know what she was thinking, but I knew that this was my last shot.

The Oni growled low in my mind, "This is beneath you. She’ll never respect you again."

But I ignored him. I had to.

I reached out slowly, my hand trembling as I placed it on her knee, just barely touching her. “I’m sorry, Momoi. I don’t know how to fix this. But I’ll spend every second trying. You’re everything to me. I?—"

I cut off, swallowing the lump in my throat. What the hell was I doing? A coward groveling at her feet. The Oni was right. I was weak.

But I couldn’t stop. I wouldn’t.

Momoi’s body tensed, her breath shallow as if she were holding herself together, keeping her walls up. Her eyes flickered up to mine for a split second, and I saw the crack in her armor—the smallest hint of something vulnerable.

“You’re pathetic,” the Oni sneered in my mind, “you’re making yourself a fool. But go ahead. Do it. Grovel. Maybe you’ll get something in return.”

I didn’t care about the Oni’s ridicule. I had to try. I had to make her see me as Tatsuya again, the man I once was, the man I could be again.

“Please,” I whispered, my voice breaking, “I just need you to talk to me. Tell me what you need from me. I’ll do whatever it takes. Just… please don’t shut me out.”

There was a long, agonizing silence. And then, the smallest of movements. Her hand slowly uncrossed, fingers brushing mine. Her gaze shifted, just slightly, meeting my eyes. Her lips parted, but no words came.

It was enough. Enough for now. I wasn’t going to stop.

I felt the Oni’s rage flare up again, a wild, burning anger almost overtaking me, but I kept my ground. “Please, Momoi,” I said again, quieter this time. “Let me fix this. Let me prove to you that I’m still worthy of you.”

The Oni's voice was dripping with mockery as it rang in my mind. "You’re weak. Begging her for something you’ll never get." His words slithered like venom, twisting around me, constricting my thoughts.

But I wasn’t going to let him win. Not now, not after everything. Not after what we’d been through.

I fought the urge to lash out, pushing my human mind against his overwhelming presence. "Stop it." I seethed. "I know what we are. But if we lose her, if we let this go, we’ll be nothing. She’s the reason I’m still holding on, and you know that."

The Oni snarled in the back of my mind, a guttural sound that rattled my bones. "She doesn’t want you, Tatsuya. She wants power. She wants strength. And you are nothing but a weakness to her. You’re nothing without me."

I gritted my teeth, pushing harder, trying to fight against the monster that had consumed my life. "I’m not nothing. And I won’t let you take her."

For a moment, there was silence. But it wasn’t peaceful. It was that silence where everything hangs on a knife’s edge, teetering between destruction and control.

Finally, the Oni’s voice came again, quieter, more venomous than before. "Fine. But you’re the one who has to grovel to her. I’m not begging for anything. She’s not worth it."

It was a challenge, and I knew it. My own pride felt torn in two, but I knew deep down that if we didn’t act fast, we would lose her.

"You can’t see it, can you?" I shot back. "She’s everything. And you won’t find another human like her. She’s the only one who sees us. She’s the only one who wants us as we are."

The Oni growled low, frustrated by my words. "I don’t need her. She needs me."

I was on the verge of losing control, the tension between us thickening, but I couldn’t let it get to that point. "You think I can’t see it? You think I don’t know what you’re trying to do? You’re too twisted. Too far gone. And if you keep pushing her away, we’ll lose her. Forever."

The silence followed was akin to a weight pressing down on my chest. I could feel the Oni, still furious, but there was something else now—a flicker of realization. He couldn’t afford to lose her, either.

“She’s mine,” the Oni murmured, possessive and dark. “And if you don’t stop being a fool, Tatsuya, I will ensure she’s never yours again.”

I ignored the threat, focusing instead on the one thing that mattered. "I’m not letting her go, demon. And you’re going to grovel—because if we don’t fix this, she will be gone. You’re not going to find another like her."

The Oni hesitated, the tension in my mind palpable. But, eventually, his voice returned, gruff and reluctant. “Fine. I’ll do it. But don’t think for a second that this means I’m weak. This is your fault.”

I clenched my jaw, the control I had gained over the situation slipping a little. I was going to have to make this right, to humble myself. But it was for her—for Momoi.

“ Momoi, ” I whispered, my voice raw, quieter than intended. I took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. “I don’t know how to fix this, but I’m not going to give up on us. I won’t lose you. Please, talk to me. Let me make it right. We can re-examine our options.”

The Oni’s voice was still a part of me, simmering beneath the surface, but I focused on the part of me that could still reach her. "She has to hear me, Tatsuya. If you don’t make her understand..."

I didn’t need to hear it. I already knew. There was no going back now. The part of me that wanted her, needed her, was too strong. And I would make sure the Oni knew it too. If this was the only way to keep her, so be it.

“Momoi,” I whispered again, my voice trembling with uncertainty.