Page 16 of The One Night Match (Mafia Matchmaker #1)

SIXTEEN

CRUZ

S he’s pulling away in front of my eyes, and I don’t know what the fuck to do about it.

I’ve never been good with emotions.

Fuck, as a man growing up in the Mafia, you’re taught not to have any at all. You’re implored to turn that side of yourself off so nothing can hurt you.

And up until now, I’ve been pretty good at that. The only exceptions to the rule were Mom and Lexi.

But now there’s Riley.

Realistically, I know I’ve known her for less than forty-eight hours. I know it’s too soon to feel anything more than base-level attraction, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.

Her little groans of enjoyment as she eats the meal I prepared for her are doing things to me that I can’t explain and making me desperate to throw her over my shoulder, take her up to my room, and tie her to my bed for the foreseeable future so I can do any number of filthy and depraved things to her body, but if waking up to me in her bed was any indication, she’s not ready for that just yet.

Sleeping together now will be different than it was in my office at the club.

There’s more at stake.

Riley might think we’re walking away at the end of the trial period, but there’s no way in hell I’m letting her go.

I’m not risking getting stuck with an insufferable princess when I’ve already got the perfect woman right here. I just have to work on making sure she can’t live without me.

“Thank you for breakfast.” Riley smiles over the rim of her coffee cup.

“You’re welcome, Kitten.”

A light flush spreads across her cheeks at the nickname I have no intention of dropping. “Do you need to work today?”

“Nope. I have Colten on call for any emergencies, and unless there’s a coup, I’m all yours for the next three days.”

“Oh.” Her lips purse, and I try not to show my amusement at the fact that she thought she was getting rid of me so easily.

“We’ll take a honeymoon in a few months once some things have been sorted.” Which is the nice way of saying once I’ve weeded out the rats in the organization that are trying to overthrow me from within, but I don’t bother telling her that.

Riley may have grown up in the life, but that doesn’t mean she wants to know about my business. Once I get to know her a little better, I’ll decide how much to share with her based on how much she wants to know.

I don’t believe in secrets in a relationship, even ones about my business, so if she wants to know every single thing that happens within the family, I’m more than happy to share.

Her brows furrow. “Honeymoon?”

“Yeah. I was thinking maybe the Maldives, if you wanted tropical. Or somewhere in Europe? Your choice.”

Riley opens her mouth to respond, but quickly snaps it shut again, and I can’t quite tell if she’s surprised I’d want to go on a honeymoon at all, or if the idea of leaving the country with me is what’s concerning her.

“Why do you look so perplexed, Kitten?”

“I’m just really confused,” she admits.

“About?”

“About”—she waves her hand around—“all of this. Everything that’s happened since we met at the club.

Every man I’ve ever met has believed the women in their lives should be seen, not heard.

Even my father. And I don’t understand why you’re giving me all these choices, and you’re cooking for me, and sneaking into my bed just to sleep beside me.

And then you want to go on a honeymoon? Where you’d be stuck with only me for days, maybe even weeks?

” Her tone pitches higher and higher the further she gets through her panic-riddled rant, but she’s not at risk of a panic attack like she had yesterday, so I force myself to stay planted in my seat, giving her the time and space she needs to process. “I’m just…overwhelmed, I guess.”

I nod, leaning forward with my elbows on the table.

“That’s understandable. A lot has changed in a short period of time.

But let me tell you some things about me.

Sound good?” She nods, folding her trembling hands in her lap.

“I grew up with a piece of shit dad. He didn’t care about me or Lexi, and he used Mom like his own personal punching bag.

For years, I thought that was what a normal relationship looked like.

” I shake my head. “I think that’s what a lot of boys growing up in this life see, if I’m honest. We’re made to feel like our only value is in being a soldier until we’re old enough to take a leadership position, and at that point, we need to be cold and callous.

Emotions and feelings are a liability. That’s what you’re used to, yes? ”

“Yeah,” she whispers. “Dad never hit Mom or anything, and I do believe he loves her, but in his own way. He kept us safe and fed and happy, but I wouldn’t call him emotionally available.”

It gives me an ounce of comfort to know that her father never hurt her, and my shoulders relax slightly.

“What I watched my dad do had the opposite effect to what he thought it would. Am I a heartless asshole in business? Yes, I have to be. But at home? With my family? With you? That’s a different story.

I will never raise my hand to you. I will never force you to do anything you don’t want to do unless it’s necessary for your safety.

And if we decide to have kids in the future, they will not think of me as cold and emotionally unavailable.

I had that growing up, and it’s the last thing I’d want to put my kids through. ”

Riley seems a little shell-shocked at my admission, but I allow her to process everything I’ve said. It’s a lot, I’ll admit, but she’s not running out the door, so I count that as a win.

“If we have kids?” She nibbles at her lower lip. “Isn’t it kind of…expected? I know you said all that stuff to that woman yesterday, but I kind of assumed it was just to get her off my back.”

“If,” I confirm. “I meant every word I said. I do want to take time to get to know you. I want to enjoy having a partner. And then down the road, we can talk about kids. If you decide you don’t want them, that’s fine.

There are plenty of already living people who can be trained to take over for me.

If you don’t want to put your body through pregnancy and childbirth, we can adopt or use a surrogate.

I’m not going to demand you carry my kid just because that’s what is expected of me.

Fuck them. Fuck their expectations. There are two people in this marriage and two people who will make decisions together. ”

She stares at me for long seconds, processing every word I’ve said, searching for a lie that doesn’t exist.

Her bottom lip disappears between her teeth, and I think she’s about to respond when instead she pushes herself to her feet. “I think I need some space.”

Riley doesn’t give me a chance to change her mind before she’s halfway to the stairs.

And instead of chasing her, I let her go.

It won’t always be like this. In fact, the time for running will come to an end sooner rather than later, but if I push too hard too soon, she’ll go a hell of a lot further than just a bedroom upstairs.

As much as I love a chase, I can’t put her in that kind of danger.