Page 53 of The Not So Super Hero

T ension was often used to describe difficult situations. However, the word itself did not always mean the feeling was bad, and that was learned the following morning. There definitely was tension, but it was the kind that left Bailey’s stomach overwhelmed by cliche butterflies.

Zane was better at handling it, but even he got flustered when Bailey caught him staring a little too long during breakfast. Each time he returned to eating his food while Bailey’s face worked overtime on the blushing.

Though the two had done more than make up, Bailey didn’t return to the training sessions with Zane.

He was perplexed to find Bailey saying goodbye when he stepped out of the apartment, glancing at the boy in confusion, then a scowl at Bailey’s suggestion; “You should spend some more time with Natalia and Nate.”

“Why?” Zane asked.

“Because they’re like family to you, aren’t they?”

Zane’s heart twisted in ways he wished it wouldn’t.

Although he tried his best to scowl, it was one that didn’t hold as much distaste as his previous ones.

The idea of doing such a thing made Zane feel a little sick because it wasn’t like he was any good at socializing.

Socializing with the twins who he had a past with that he didn’t like to discuss?

That was a territory he never dreamed of stepping into.

Not to mention, Zane wasn’t so sure if those feelings remained.

Natalia and Nate witnessed that dark past of his, knew how he reacted afterwards, and seemed to hold a grudge for it.

Sure, they stuck around, but that felt more obligatory than willing.

He wasn’t so nice to them either, so Zane couldn’t say it was entirely their fault.

“I’m not so sure they feel that way anymore,” Zane admitted.

“You know that’s not true. Nate and Natalia will always view you as a big brother. Nothing could ever change that.”

Zane wasn’t ready to explain why it was arguable.

“Seriously, you don’t even need to talk to them about what happened in the past. Just let them know you’re happy they’re here.” Bailey rested a gentle hand on Zane’s wrist.

“Who said I was happy they’re he-ouch!” Zane got hit before he even finished that question. Rubbing his chest where Bailey’s punch had landed, Zane smirked. “Oh, is that how this relationship is going to go?”

Bailey’s eyes grew wide. “Don’t change the subject.”

“This is an important conversation. I need to know if my boyfriend is going to abuse me every time he disagrees with me.”

Bailey was going to explode with embarrassment. “I...no, that’s not...I don’t know, damn it, just talk to them!”

Rather than face further teasing, Bailey shuffled into the apartment, shutting the door behind him. Aw, Zane was having fun, though. Oh well, he would continue bothering Bailey later.

Zane left to train on his own, intending to go about his day as usual. However, Bailey had more of an effect than he will admit because Bailey’s words repeated continuously in his mind; Just talk to them.

Just talk to them? Zane thought, scowling.

That was far easier said than done. It was hard enough working with them.

Getting close like they once were seemed impossible.

Six years have passed. How was he meant to mend the damage?

It couldn’t be fixed, could it? What was broken would stay broken, no matter how much he tried to put the pieces back together.

Not to mention Zane wasn’t ready to talk, although he may never be ready. He feared the past. Frustrating, it was frustrating and Zane hated frustrating. Too much work was being thrust into his life, and he was tiring of it.

Sighing, Zane stepped into the training room.

Each day, he did a little more than the last. Finally, his mutation was allowed.

He got back into the swing of it. It was tiring.

It had been so long since he had done anything that he almost forgot what he was capable of.

Sometimes that made him proud, others he became afraid.

And so his day continued at its usual slow pace. Exercising was exhausting. Working was such a pain. All he wanted to do was go back to the apartment and tease Bailey. Wait, there was a time where he would have said nap. He could take a nap after teasing Bailey.

“You’re not paying attention!” Natalia called. Her fist landed in Zane’s gut. He was sent hurtling back, tumbling across the cement before finally coming to a halt. His stomach ached. His whole body did, actually.

“You really just going to lie there?” Natalia asked.

“Yeah,” Zane moaned. He had such a long day. Couldn’t he nap forever?

“You’ve been lost in that vacant place between your ears all day.”

He hummed. He hadn’t even the energy to conjure a witty retort.

His reflexes were slow, movements sloppy and attacks predictable.

He hadn’t beaten Nate or Natalia once. Normally, they were pretty on par with each other.

Perhaps it was his fault for not doing as Bailey asked, or it was because he was actually considering doing as Bailey asked.

The question of how or when bugged him most was because what the hell was he meant to say?

What would Bailey say here? He excelled at getting others to talk and patience for answers.

Zane did not possess such abilities. Thinking about it gave him a headache.

He rather not talk about what it did to his heart.

The amount of work it was getting lately probably cut ten years off his life.

He was kind of ok with that though. Living past sixty sounded like a hassle.

“Is something wrong? Are you and Bailey fighting?” Natalia sat beside him. She stretched out her legs, feet swaying back and forth to knock against Zane’s leg.

“We’re not fighting.” There it was again, that damn annoying tension. Zane wasn’t sure what coaxed him into asking, “Are you still angry with me?”

“Huh?”

“For what happened at Raiffel? Are you still angry?” Zane’s voice was so low, Natalia strained herself to hear him.

Scowling, she shook her head. “I was never angry. I’ve told you that a hundred times.”

“And I still don’t believe you.”

“That’s because you’re angry with yourself and hope others are too in order to continue hating yourself.”

Zane flinched.

“What brought this on? Last I checked, you wanted to pretend like the past never happened,” Natalia spat, frowning.

“Bailey said I should try talking with you and Nate.”

“Oh, I see. Whatever the hubby wants he gets, huh?”

Zane didn’t give Natalia the pleasure of teasing him further. He shrugged. “Since we’ll be together for a while, I figured it’d be best to talk about it.”

Natalia gave Zane a disbelieving look. “Like you’re willing to talk about Isaiah.”

Zane sat up, bringing his knees up so that he could lean against them. His body tensed, hands shaking. He gripped his pants, almost tearing the fabric.

“See, you’re ready to bolt already,” said Natalia.

That was true. Hearing Isaiah’s name was like nails on a chalkboard. The room shrank with each breath. Zane felt like passing out. For once, it wasn’t because of his own laziness.

“I’m not angry. At first I was disappointed, but I know I wouldn’t be any better if I were you.

I’ll never blame you for what happened. Raiffel was a twisted place where we were forced to commit acts we would never dream of doing, and there was nothing we could do about it.

Do you hear me, Zane?” Natalia pressed her hand to his shoulder, pushing him back so she could see his face.

He refused to meet her gaze. “There is nothing we could have done, nothing you could have done to change what happened, and you need to forgive yourself for it.”

Forgiveness was something he felt he would never give. Natalia could see that without him saying it.

“Listen, if you should talk to anyone, it’s Nate.” Natalia sighed. She pressed her hand to Zane’s back to rub soothing circles. “You’re his idol after all.”

“You mean I was,” Zane corrected.

“Honestly, you two are getting on my nerves. You’ll always be his idol. Why do you think he’s so tough on you?”

“Because he’s an ass.”

“Coming from the biggest asshole we know.”

“Thanks.”

“Are you two calling it quits for the day or what?” Nate called. He and Chris stepped out of a door in the middle of the street that led to the watch room.

“Yeah, let’s call it for the day!” Natalia shouted, hopping onto her feet. She glanced from her brother to Zane, then back. “Chris, let’s grab something to eat. The boys need to talk.”

Zane glared at Natalia. She ignored the attention to skip towards Chris. His brows furrowed, obvious confusion that was never answered when Natalia linked arms with him to drag him away.

“What do we need to talk about?” Nate asked, arms crossed and gaze shifting between Zane and the exit.

“Nothing,” Zane spat, getting up with a heavy sigh.

“You know if we don’t talk and she finds out, she will kill us.”

“I’ll take my chances.”

Nate rolled his eyes. “Whatever, run away again. I don’t even care anymore.”

Nate stalked off, ramming his shoulder against Zanes when he walked by.

Grunting, he rubbed his shoulder. Nate’s figure retreated towards the door.

Zane’s teeth came out to bite at his bottom lip.

His gut twisted and churned with the force of a typhoon.

Each step Nate took made Zane feel a little worse.

“I don’t know where to start,” Zane called just when Nate grasped the doorknob.

Wide-eyed and slack jawed, Nate pivoted on his heel. Silence enveloped them, broken by his careful steps towards Zane. He blinked rapidly, like dirt had gotten caught in his eyes. Then he settled in front of Zane to whisper, “It doesn’t matter where you start as long as you start.”

Zane hesitated. His hand massaged his shoulder. “I’m tired of everyone claiming they aren’t angry with me when they actually are.”

Nate scowled. “What do you mean?”

“You’re all playing nice when I know you have something to say.”