Page 31 of The No Touch Roommate Rule (That Steamy Hockey Romance #2)

Chapter

Eighteen

From the texts of Leo Parker and Baylor Nix

Nix:Hey, man, where are you? Are you okay? I tried to call, but you didn’t answer.

Parker: Because I’m on vacation, and I’m in my twenties.

What’s with you and Grammercy and calling people all the time?

I know you like to fuck middle-aged women, but that doesn’t mean you have to act like you’re in your forties.

Do better. Always text unless you are literally on fire and need me to come put it out.

Nix: Well, it’s not a fire, but I fucked up pretty bad. I pissed where you eat, man. Or fucked where you eat? Whatever the saying is, I did it, and I’m sorry. I really am. I hope we can still be cool.

Parker:What the hell are you talking about? Are you drunk? It’s barely noon.

Nix:Stone cold sober. Just can’t stop thinking about last night…

Remember how you said I could use your hot tub while you were gone?

Parker: Yeah.

Nix:Well, I went over last night. I needed to get out of the city.

You had the right idea, dipping for a while.

It’s so fucking depressing here. Everywhere you look, there’s someone who has lost everything.

I’ve been volunteering at clean-up sites and the food pantry line, but it never feels like enough, you know?

Parker:I know. It’s rough. But what does this have to do with you pissing where I eat?

Nix:So, I get to your place. Use the key under the potted plant like you said. Strip down in your laundry room because I just came from digging shit out of somebody’s basement, and I’m not about to track flood mud through your house like an animal.

Parker:Appreciate that. Get to the pissing part.

Nix:So, I walked out to the hot tub in just a towel, ready to soak away the pain, but surprise, surprise, there’s already someone in there. Someone who is also NAKED.

Parker: Oh shit.

Nix:Yeah. Naked and a WOMAN. She screamed. I screamed. My heart almost gave out. She threw a Solo cup at me. It was intense.

Parker:Please tell me you didn’t call the cops on each other.

Nix:No, after the screaming stopped, she explained that she was Makena’s friend who was taking care of the garden while you were away.

I explained I was your teammate, who had been invited to use the hot tub, and not a home invader.

And then… Well, I poured us both some more Chardonnay into that Solo cup, and we watched the stars come out, and one thing eventually led to another…

Parker:No! Tell me you didn’t.

Nix:I swear, I didn’t mean to. I was just really enjoying talking to her at first. About the flood and how helpless we feel, and how your zucchinis are getting out of control.

Parker: My zucchini?

Nix:Yeah, they’re massive. Intimidatingly large. Which becomes relevant later in the story…

Parker: NO.

Nix:Look, I don’t know how it happened. One minute we’re having a deep conversation about survivor’s guilt, and the next minute she’s in my lap and we’re making out. And then we agreed that fucking in a hot tub isn’t healthy or easy, so we moved to the vegetable garden.

Parker:I’m going to murder you.

Nix:I know. But we were really tipsy by then. The dirt seemed romantic. And the creative use of produce was fun. Charlotte said it was like some ancient pagan thing the Romans used to do to make the fields fertile. She’s crazy hot and crazy smart.

Parker:Dead. You are dead.

Nix:I can’t help it. The zucchini gods demanded a sacrifice!

Parker:I’m going to sacrifice YOU. That’s Makena’s friend and BOSS when she works catering gigs.

Nix:I KNOW. That’s why I’m apologizing! I didn’t mean to fuck your girlfriend’s boss friend in your garden! It just happened!

Parker:Did you at least use protection? Please tell me you didn’t raw dog it in my heirloom tomatoes.

Nix:Of course, we used protection. She had some in her purse. Like I said, very smart woman. Very prepared. And very flexible…

Parker:I don’t need details.

Nix:I know, and I’m not going to give you any.

Like I said, she wasn’t my usual type, Parker.

She was smart and thoughtful and seemed to care more about what I was doing with my hands to help flood victims than what I do with my stick to earn a living.

She was special and, with your permission, I’d like to see her again.

Parker: NO.

Nix:Come on. This could be real, man. You know me, I usually like my women with crow’s feet, too much time on their hands after their divorce, and kids in college.

This woman isn’t like that. She’s never been married, no kids, runs a business like a boss, and can’t be more than 35.

But still…I can NOT stop thinking about her.

Parker:She’s 40, you dumbass. Right in your cougar demographic.

Nix:40?? No way. She looks amazing. Fuck. FUCK, Parker. Now I want her even more, and she wouldn’t even give me her number.

Parker: Good for her.

Nix:Why? She said it was some of the best sex she’d ever had, and it was honestly the hottest night of my life, man. No doubt.

Parker:The hottest night of your life was in my VEGETABLE GARDEN?

Nix:YES. Don’t shame me. The zucchini was only part of it. It was mostly just…her. We had a connection, and I know she felt it, too. So, please, don’t stand in the way of something real. Just ask Makena for her number. That’s all I need. Just a way to get in touch.

Parker:Absolutely not. Things are finally going really well with us.

Nix: Oh yeah?

Parker: We’re buying matching t-shirts right now. And she slept on my chest last night, and I’m so happy I can hardly stand myself.

Nix:Aw, man, that’s great. You’re in love! You’re buying matching t-shirts and living the life. So, have some compassion for those of us who are still suffering.

Parker:You’re not suffering. It was a one-night stand. You’ll get over it.

Nix:No, I won’t. Please, Parker. I’m serious. This wasn’t just any other night. This was something different. Something special. Something that made me want to change my ways. Maybe for good.

Parker: Jesus. The drama.

Nix:Says the king of drama. Who listened to you mope about Makena for months and never told you to give up the dream? Huh?

Parker:Blue. Because he’s not a dream killer like you.

Nix:Valid. But I didn’t give you as much shit as the rest of the team. And I would have given you less shit if I’d known what this feels like…to just be blown away by a woman. Totally blown away.

Parker:Oh for fuck’s sake, fine. I’ll ask Makena.

Nix: THANK YOU!

Parker: On one condition: You pull every tainted squash out of that garden before we get home.

Nix:Dude, what do you take me for? I did that last night. It was just ONE squash, and I took it home as a souvenir. I’m staring at it right now…

Parker:I’m blocking your number.

Nix:No, you’re not. You love me. And you love love. Tell Makena thank you in advance. I owe her one.

Parker:Goodbye, Nix. Don’t text me again. And stay away from my zucchini.