Page 47 of The Nightmare Bride

I lost track of the many times and ways in which Kai dismantled me, only to piece me back together and do it all over again.

Some things, I committed to permanent memory, like the way his every muscle contracted when I sucked on his birthmark, or how his neck arched when I wrapped my hands around it and rode him like it was my only purpose in life.

Eventually, a dull yellow glow brightened the windowpane, and Kai brought me over the edge one final time.

I knew this was the end because he didn’t join me, just slowed to a stop while the blissful ripples ebbed from my limbs.

He hovered, smiling like a cat who’d just nabbed a whole coal-mine’s worth of canaries.

Once my vision stopped wobbling, I oriented myself to the north star of those blue, blue eyes. Goddess, but he was magnificent. So much that a flood of tenderness broke loose inside me. I tucked a lock of damp hair back from his forehead, my heart fracturing.

“Well?” he murmured.

“Well what?”

“Are you willing to admit you’re half in love with me now ?”

Sharpness bristled beneath my ribs. “No. Just because you fucked me stupid doesn’t mean I don’t still hate you.”

“Hmm. But you are willing to admit I fucked you stupid?”

I paused. “I’ll admit that inexhaustible energy is a lot more useful than I ever realized. And that trench-digging isn’t actually your greatest talent.”

He laughed and kissed me, so much differently this time, with a softness that made my eyes prickle, and a familiarity that made me feel as if we’d condensed years of mapping each other’s bodies into a single night.

I swore we somehow had, especially with him still sheathed in me like this, our tongues tangled as he bound our bodies together in two places at once.

I gave myself over to it, etching the moment into memory, tattooing the perfection of it onto my heart. Because this was the beginning and the end, both.

When he pulled back, a tear slipped from between my lashes, which I hurried to wipe away.

“Lioness.” A crinkled formed between his eyes. “Are you crying?”

“No.” I sniffled. “Why would I be crying?”

“I don’t know. You tell me.”

“Okay, one, I’m not crying, and two, I don’t talk about feelings, remember?”

I expected him to smile, but the light in his face dimmed. “Don’t do that. Don’t hide from me.”

“Why not?” I scoffed. “It’s over. I’m not your wife anymore. An hour from now, you’ll be married to Amryssa.”

He studied me for long moments. “You think you’re not my wife?”

“I know I’m not. We signed the annulment, didn’t we? Before all this.”

His face went carefully blank. He eased out of me, then crawled off the mattress and gazed down. He was a heavenly mess, rumpled and sticky and crisscrossed by scratches, only half of which I could claim responsibility for, the other half having resulted from his efforts with the lawn.

The bite marks, though...those were all mine.

“Don’t be angry.” Kai ducked into the bathroom and returned with the annulment certificate. He held it out.

My pulse stopped, then restarted, double-time. I stared at the offering, then up into his face.

“It wouldn’t have mattered, anyway,” he said, neutral. “It isn’t my name on here.”

I nodded, not daring to form an opinion on what that meant, and took the paper. When I didn’t unfold it right away, he said, “I’ll go clean up.”

Good. Yes. That was easier. I didn’t want him to see my reaction. “Okay.”

He retreated. When the bathroom door clicked, I swallowed my jangling nerves and opened the annulment certificate. And found...nothing. Just a blank, waiting line where his signature should have been. Or Kyven’s, rather.

I couldn’t help myself. A choking sob rushed up my throat. The ache between my legs intensified, proof that no matter where he went or who he pretended to marry, I would be his wife. Even if no one realized it.

I yielded to a bewildering crush of emotion and wept.

But only for a minute. By the time Kai emerged from the bathroom, I’d dried my cheeks, though the wariness in his face told me redness still rimmed my eyes.

“You’re angry at me,” he said.

“No.” I waved the paper. “But you do need to sign this now.”

He hesitated. “I will, but it means nothing. It annuls a marriage that never took place. It has no effect on ours.”

“I realize that. But nobody else does, so you have to pretend to be Kyven, still. You have to marry Amryssa and walk off into a nightmare. Then I’ll declare you dead and take her to Hightower and... Everyone’ll get what they want. Even Vick. He can go play bandit chief to his heart’s content.”

Kai stared at me as if searching for the lie in my words.

I lifted my chin and let him. He could look as deeply as he liked—there was nothing to find.

“That’s still what you want?” he finally said. “Even after all that?”

“It’ll always be what I want. Amryssa needs to go somewhere Zephyrine can’t reach her. And you need to go to Fairmont. Visit your last territory. Collect your last accent. You know, experience everything.”

“And then...what?” He shifted his weight. “Just never see my wife again?”

And there it was. The question that made my insides ice over. I was a frozen tundra, a blank white space awaiting the inscription of an answer.

Except I knew the answer, because it didn’t matter whether I wanted him, or if he wanted me. My duty was to Amryssa, first and foremost. Not to Kai, or even myself.

“Who knows?” I said, trying for levity. “Maybe we’ll run into each other again someday. Maybe when we’re eighty.”

His eyes darkened. “What if I don’t want to?”

I recoiled, more stung than I had any right to be. “Well, that’s rude. I mean, it’s one thing to think it, but you don’t have to say so.”

He waved a hand. “Don’t be absurd. I don’t mean I never want to see you again. I mean I want to leave here with you, not without.”

I weighed that. “As in...what? Disappear together ?”

“Mmm-hmm. And since I know you won’t go anywhere without Amryssa, we could bring her with us. Go to Fairmont together. Because really, I’d like nothing more than to keep keeping you up all night. Even if the first time was the most wretched experience of my life.”

Thickness clogged my throat. I opened my mouth but couldn’t force anything out.

“Romantic, I know,” he said. “Try not to swoon.”

I couldn’t stop myself. I was swooning, succumbing to a rush that started in my toes and fountained upward. Except...no.

This was no different than Merron’s offer. A temptation that might promise bliss, but wouldn’t last, because nothing ever did. In the end, everyone always left me. Everyone but Amryssa.

“No.” I hated how broken I sounded. “I have to take Amryssa to Hightower, where she’ll be cared for. Not off on some lark to Fairmont, where anything might happen.”

He eyed me, speculative. “So you’re refusing me because I’m not a prince?”

“No. I love that you’re not a prince. I love—” I cut myself off, changing tack. “I like you better this way, actually. Now that the shock has worn off. I like knowing you’re like me and not like them. But I’m going to give Amryssa the best life I can, no matter the cost.”

“All right. Then I’ll go to Hightower with you.”

“What?” I squeaked. “No. You can’t.”

His brow furrowed. “Why not?”

“Because...well, look at you.” I waved a hand.

He glanced down, taking in his own awe-inspiring nudity. His expression betrayed not a sliver of comprehension.

“You look like Kyven but aren’t.” I rolled my hand in the air, trying to lead him to the obvious.

“Don’t you think people would find that odd?

Besides, Amryssa can’t lie. When people ask questions, she’ll answer, and everyone will realize she never married Kyven at all. This whole thing would unravel.”

He crossed his arms and slitted his gaze. “You’ve thought this through.”

I picked at a stray thread fraying from the coverlet. “I have.” Maybe without actually meaning to. But if I agreed to be his, then what? I’d cease to be one of the challenges he loved so dearly, and his attention would wander.

Which would kill me. This time, being abandoned would actually kill me.

For long moments, Kai said nothing. When I looked up, speculation had dawned in his eyes.

“What?” I said, wary. “What’re you thinking?”

“Only that you can make this as difficult as humanly possible, if you like. But I’m up to the challenge. I’m up to any challenge. Because you know that when I set my sights on something, I’m relentless. I keep on trying, until it’s mine.”

I attempted to shrug off his words. How was he so freaking sure of himself all the time? Especially when I’d just flat-out rejected him? “I’m not some kind of carnival game. You can’t just keep tossing the ring until you land it around the bottle.”

“Oh, but I can,” he said. “Watch me.”

“No.” My voice rose. “I’m not a thing to be conquered.”

He snorted. “If you had no desire to be conquered, you should never have conquered me, first.”

I swallowed a fresh flood of emotion, but nothing about my silence felt quiet. It was more like internally screaming into a pillow.

I shoved the annulment certificate at him. “Look, just sign this and marry Amryssa, okay?”

“I will, if that’s what you want. But this conversation isn’t over.”

“It is,” I snapped.

“On the contrary. It’s just getting started.”

“It’s not. This whole thing is over. This marriage.”

“No,” he said, with force. “Not unless you look me in the eye and tell me you’re not in love with me. Half in love, even. Say that with utter sincerity, and I’ll leave it be.”

I flashed my teeth. “I already told you I’m not going to admit that.”

“I’m not asking you to admit it,” he countered. “I’m asking you to deny it. Tell me no part of you feels for me what I feel for you.”

I scrambled off the bed, trying to escape the desperation percolating in my ribcage. What was I doing arguing over nothing, anyway? “This is stupid. I have to go. It’s past sunrise, and Amryssa’s probably already awake.”

“You’re hiding again.”