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Returning from a short morning walk, Elizabeth was thankful that Mr Collins had yet to appear downstairs. A maid mentioned that she had just come from upstairs and heard him singing in his room.

“Very badly,” she added in a whisper.

After removing her pelisse, Elizabeth went to the dining room. Her father gave her a cheerful good morning.

“Did you get a good night’s rest, Lizzy?”

“Fair enough.”

“How was your walk?”

“A little cold this morning.”

“What did you think of your cousin?” He asked nonchalantly as he pretended to read his paper.

“I have no thoughts about him whatsoever.” She replied, pouring tea.

“You must have formed some opinion.”

“It would not be polite to say.”

Mr Bennet chuckled. “I shall take that, as you want me to give my blessing to Mr Darcy when he comes asking,” he said softly.

“Father, my hope is that it comes to naught. I will be able to go on with my life until the right man comes along.”

“Mr Collins came here with the intention of leaving with a bride, or at least the promise of a bride.”

“It will not be me.”

“Your mother will be most insistent, and I shall have no peace until she is satisfied.”

The conversation came to an end when the subject of it appeared in the doorway. Elizabeth looked at him aghast, and even the normally stoic Mr Bennet looked shocked.

Mr Collins gazed at Elizabeth and smiled toothily before greeting her first. He knew he had broken norms by greeting her first, but he wanted to show her how much she had become endeared to his heart.

Father and daughter could not stop staring at his head. For some reason, he had pasted down his hair with what had to be from the sheen, some kind of oil. To her dismay, he sat beside her.

“Dear cousin Elizabeth, I pray you slept well.”

Elizabeth sniffed without making it obvious. She would not say the smell emanating from him was awful, but it was odd. She thought it was in stark contrast to Mr Darcy’s pleasant scent of sandalwood and lemon.

“Yes,” she replied, looking into her tea.

“I am pleased to hear it. Mine was spent contemplating my future happiness,” he said with a lustful grin. Elizabeth suddenly did not feel hungry.

She was saved from further conversation, at least for the moment, when the bell in the kitchen rang. The breakfast trays were brought in, and the rest of the family began to appear shortly after. They could not help but stare at their cousin as they filed in, calling out morning greetings. Once the family had settled in their places and the meal began, Mr Bennet directed his attention to his cousin.

“I could not help but notice you have done something different with your appearance,” he asked, hoping to cut off the women’s baffled stares and satisfy his curiosity.

“I thought you might,” he chirped happily and nodded vigorously. “On my journey here, I happened to be sitting across from a man who could not help but notice my head.”

“Indeed.” Mr Bennet replied, ignoring the muffled giggles from his two youngest.

“No offence to you,” Collins said, looking at his cousin’s head. “He convinced me to buy a bottle of his salve to prevent a balding pate.” He again looked at Mr Bennet’s head. “My father had the same problem,” he continued, pointing his fork. “I thought it best to head off the problem before it arose.” He said with a laugh at his pun, then began to attack his breakfast.

“How will you know if it is working?” Lydia asked.

He held up his fork as he finished chewing. “My dear young cousin. I asked the same question. Do you know what his answer was?”

“How would I know? And if I did, I would not have asked.” She replied, rolling her eyes at Kitty.

“I shall tell you. He removed his hat, revealing a thick growth of hair.” He said with a flourish of his fork about his head.

“All the proof one needs,” Mr Bennet said dryly. He rued the day his cousin would take over Longbourn. Unlike his father, he had been a lax landowner once he realized there would be no son to leave it to, but he knew how to run it so it did not fall into disrepair.

The only one to engage him in further conversation was Mrs Bennet, asking him all the pertinent questions that her daughter should know when they married. With Mr Collins at the table, the sisters decided to forgo the day’s planning they usually did so they could leave the room.

To their dismay, they did not escape his company for very long, as he soon joined them in the parlour. Tired of his droning on about nothing of interest, Lydia declared she was going to town to the milliner’s shop.

“I thought you wanted to see if Mr Denny was back from London?” Kitty asked, only to receive an elbow in the side. All but Mary decided to accompany her for various reasons. Seeing an opportunity to be rid of his cousin for a time, their father suggested Mr Collins go with them, much to their dismay.