Page 12

12

VAN

“What do I do?” I say to no one since Gabe is passed out in my arms. He’s overly hot, and that’s me saying it. I rush him to his bedroom and strip him of his shoes and clothes, leaving him in his underwear. “What do I do?” His hair’s a black mess around his head and he looks peaceful. But why the fuck did he pass out on me?

I race to the bathroom and start a bath of room temperature water, that should help. Hopefully. But by the time I get back to his room, Gabe’s sitting on his bed with his knees pulled to his chest.

“Sorry,” he whispers as he rocks back and forth. “Over did it too fast.” He groans before pressing a hand to his mouth and rushing to the bathroom.

I follow and hold his hair back as he vomits into the toilet. “What’s wrong? What’s wrong? Tell me.” I run a hand down his back as he settles on the floor.

“I’m a dummy and shouldn’t have used that much magic with no preparation.” He pushes up to spit into the toilet.

He hadn’t used much magic at all, but I don’t tell him. “That’s why we need to teach you proper magic skills. What you did shouldn’t have done…” I wave a hand over him. “Shouldn’t have made you pass out or made you sick.”

HellFire why was I so scared he’d hurt himself more?

He just nods and lays back down. I’d forgotten the bath and turn off the faucet.

“I think the floor has claimed me as its own. I’m its brother now.” Gabe gestures towards the door.

The snort comes without permission, but Gabe cracks a smile with his eyes closed.

“I’m gonna be down for a bit. But I should be okay to go into work tonight.”

“Fuck no. Gabe, you need rest after a magical blowout. You’re not going in tonight.” I’ll fight Pike if I have to, just to make sure Gabe gets the rest he needs.

“No, I have to go in. Sparkle needed tonight off and I switched with him because no one else could. I can’t?—”

I already have Pike on speed dial, and he picks up on the second ring.

“You’re on speaker phone, P. I have Gabe sick here after a magical blowout because of me.”

“Shit. What’d you do this time?” Pike asks and I grind my teeth.

“It wasn’t his fault,” Gabe says from the floor. “I chose to use magic unprepared and?—”

“He fucking passed out and now he’s throwing up his guts in the toilet. He needs tonight off.”

“No! I’ll be fine. Please?—”

“Gabe—” I say.

“I promise I’ll be fine before my shift. I can’t let Sparkle down.” Gabe grips the toilet bowl. “Please. I’m not sick sick, I’ll be fine.”

Pike sighs on the other end. “Okay, but if you start to go downhill, I’m sending your ass back home. Got it?”

Gabe nods before he remembers Pike can’t see him. “Thank you.” He slumps against the counter and glares at me as I hang up and pocket my phone.

I squat to meet him at eye-level. “If you’re going to be stubborn, I’m taking care of you. What do you need?”

Gabe sighs. “A cup of water to rinse out my mouth and time. It never lasts more than a few hours.” He groans and pushes back to his knees to vomit again.

I can’t leave him like this and rummage through the mirrored cabinet to find a hair elastic to tie back his hair when he’s done heaving out the contents of his stomach this round.

Tears trail down his eyes when he leans against the wall, no doubt from the effort of throwing up. “Sorry. I hate you seeing me like this.”

“No. It’s my fault. If I hadn’t?—”

Gabe lifts a hand to stop me. “It’s not your fault. It was my unwise decision to use magic when I wasn’t properly prepared to.”

“Everyone always blames me for everything.” My shoulders drop and I slide down the wall to join him.

“I won’t.” Gabe leans his head on my shoulder and sighs.

“I’m just used to it.” I press a kiss to his temple when I slide him off me so I can grab him a cup of water.

I don’t know why I kissed him, but it felt right. He feels right when he’s next to me. Keeps me calm, like my brain isn’t running a thousand miles in a second.

When I reach the kitchen, I rummage through the cabinets for the cups. The cup I grab has a cute deer drawing and I take it with me back to the bathroom where Gabe is again in the toilet. I fill the cup with tap water and leave him to find the washrags. He really shouldn’t go into work like this, but I’m going to trust him to know himself. I rinse the washrag with cool water and dab as his forehead and neck while he slowly drinks down the water.

“Thanks,” he says weakly when he sets his cup on the floor.

“Are you sure you should go in tonight?”

He nods as he shuts his eyes and leans his head back. “Won’t take long to feel better. Promise.”

We sit like this, with me filling up his cup every twenty minutes or so, for about an hour and a half before he finally starts to feel better.. He doesn’t talk much and I don’t blame him. His throat is probably raw from throwing up. Not to mention how achy his stomach muscles must be.

“Do you need pain meds?” I ask.

Gabe shakes his head. “They don’t work on me, not since the wings.” He rubs against the wall as if to scratch his back. “I feel better, though. A lot better. I think the worse of it has passed.” He reaches to put the cup on the countertop.

I help him to his feet, and he looks down, probably realizing he’s only in a pair of boxer briefs. They’re pink with white hearts and they’re so damn cute on him. The smallest smile lifts his lips when his eyes meet mine. His hair is a tangled mess. He’s got dark circles under his eyes, and tear tracks down his cheeks. His nose is runny. He looks like a complete wreck, but nothing can mar his beauty. He’s got it in spades, inside and out.

“Thanks for helping me feel better.” He squeezes my hand, and I want to melt. Want to be a better person. Want to worship at his feet. No one’s ever looked at me the way he does. No one. And I know in my heart he doesn’t need me. He’s strong. He’s better than I’ll ever be. “Van?” Concern wrinkles his brows. “What’s wrong?”

I bring his hand to my lips and kiss his knuckles. “Nothing. Just glad you’re feeling better. You should take a nap.”

“I think you’re right.” As if just mentioning sleep makes him more tired, he yawns.

I tuck him into bed and turn off the light. Leaving him takes so much effort, but I can’t loom over him if he’s going to sleep.

The living room seems like a safe place to stay out of his way before I remember I left all of Gabe’s clothes at the laundromat. I race to the little building to find someone had finished his laundry and folded it neatly in his hamper. I don’t know who to thank for it, but I’m grateful nonetheless. I trek back to his apartment and leave the hamper in the living room, so I don’t bother him.

“What to do.” I look around. I’m not sure how to help with his plants, and I figured it’s safer to not do anything than accidentally hurt them. The book he’d been reading lays forgotten on the couch. Perhaps he wouldn’t mind me learning a bit about nephilims myself.

I settle into the plush couch and crack open the book. But when I do, it’s empty. “What the hell?” I huff and turn a few pages. “Are you one of those annoying special books?”

A blue dot appears on the center of the page and fans out, bleeding everywhere until it fades back into the page to reveal words.

So You’re An Asshole And Want To Reform.

“Har har har. Hilarious,” I mumble. I’ve been an asshole out of necessity. Asserting myself means I’m not weak. I can’t show weakness or I’ll get hurt. I don’t want to hurt. “Maybe this was a bad idea.”

Learning How To Live A Gentler Life.

“That sounds better.” My eyes flitter across the page as I read. “None of this sounds appealing,” I say after a few paragraphs.

Patience Is A Virtue.

“And I’m a fucking demon.” I snap the book closed. “Definitely a bad idea.”

The previously blank cover reads: You Can’t Blame Everything On You Being A Demon 101.

“Now you’re just trying to piss me off.” I push to my feet and pace. “What do you know? You’re a book!”

Created To Help Fools Discover Themselves.

“Gabe isn’t a fool.”

No. But You Are.

“Oh, be quiet.” I slump into the recliner opposite the couch and stare at the book. “What do you know about anything?”

Too Much.

I scratch at my jaw. Why the fuck am I arguing with a book of all things?

You Don’t Need Me. But Gabe Does Unless You Know Anything About Being A Nephilim?

“I do not.”

Then Let Him Lead You On Your Path To Bettering Yourself. He’ll Be Better Than Me.

I nod. “You’re probably right.” I know the book’s right. Gabe is kind and if I just pay attention, I know it’ll rub off on me. “Sorry for being a dick. You’re probably a good book.”

I’m Good For Whoever Needs Me And You Do Not.

Rejected by books and nearly everyone else because of my attitude. But not by Gabe.

Do Not Get Melancholy. Shoulders Back. You Are A Demon.

“Damn right I am.”

I’m staring at the ceiling when Gabe comes out, rubbing his eyes. “Are you okay?” He asks.

“Contemplating life.”

He sits next to me. “It’s all complicated some days, isn’t it?” His fingers thread into mine and he squeezes.

“It really is.” More complicated since Gabe came into my life because he shakes everything up. “Are you feeling better?” I bump him softly with my shoulder.

“Yep, good as new. I just need a little bit of something in my stomach and I’ll be even better.” He puffs out his chest and smiles so damn brightly I believe him.

“Go wash off the afternoon and I’ll make something from your fridge.” I can be good for Gabe. Take care of him. Just knowing him makes me want to be a better person. Doesn’t hurt that we’ve had bedroom relations.

“Sounds good. Just a sandwich, maybe?” Gabe pushes to his feet, and I head to the kitchen to investigate what he has.

It’s not much and I decide I need to figure out the food situation for him so he doesn’t have to. I make matching sandwiches from that first night, figuring he must like the kind of sandwich he gave me.

When Gabe joins me in the kitchen, he finally looks bright eyed and fresh faced as if the afternoon never happened. He’s even humming a happy little tune and talks to all his plants before he makes his way to the table.

“I haven’t talked to them today.” He grins, probably knowing I want to make some kind of silly remark about talking to plants. But… his plants make him so happy and I never want to be the one to steal the light from his eyes. I’d rather fall on a knife.

“Would you teach me about your plants? How to take care of them, what their names are? Everything?”

His mouth drops open mid-bite. “Really?” he whispers?

“Yeah, I want to help if I can.”

He drops the sandwich and pushes to his feet and walks over to the plastic gazebo. “These three?—”

“Gabe, you have to eat first and get ready for work. Your babies can be a project for me this week. But right now, food.” As I finish my words, his stomach growls and his face goes red.

“You’re right. I just got so excited because no one ever wants to learn about my babies.”

“Well, I do.”

He settles back at the table, and we eat in relative silence. As silent as we can with him humming to himself and bouncing in his chair. He’s so happy and I did that. Me .

“Do you still wanna come to work with me?” Gabe wipes his mouth and watches me.

“Absolutely. I wanna see you in action, angel.”

He snorts. “It’s not that interesting.”

“It’ll be interesting for me. How long have you worked for Pike?”

“Only about six months. I got into Hex, got my living permit, and started looking for a job immediately. Flutter and Fangs had an opening. I interviewed with Ava and Pike and voilà, here I am.”

“Why’d you move to Hex in the first place?” I can venture a guess.

He nibbles on his nails. “Dad died. I didn’t handle it well and couldn’t contain my magic. It kept going haywire in public. It was bad. Really bad. Mom came to me one night with the address to Hex. I sold almost all of my things, booked the flights from San Francisco, and I’ve been here ever since.”

What can I say to that? I’ve never been close to my parents, never knew who my father is. And my mother forced me into a parental roll at seven. I would not mourn at losing her. Not one bit.

I rub at my chest, forgetting about the count down device. What would it be like having a parent I’d mourn the loss of?

“But let’s not dwell on sad shit.” Gabe grabs both our plates and gives them a quick wash in the sink. “Dad had a good life, and he gave me a good life.”

“What did you do in San Francisco?” I want to know everything about him.

He cracks a smile. “I edited porn.”

I choke on my drink. “What?” Never would have?—

“I’m joking! Just wanted to see your reaction. I was a software developer.”

“You got me.” I snort. “Do you miss it? Going from software developing to bartender is a major change.”

“Nope, not one bit. Hex has been everything I’ve wanted in a hometown. I never want to venture out into the human world and their jobs ever again. I don’t have to work on complex problems. I don’t have to worry about if I’ll make rent or anything. It’s bliss.” He says it all as if Hex really is a dream come true for him and I’m starting to believe it is. His eyes flint to the microwave clock. “Okay, I gotta finish getting ready.” And he leaves me for his bedroom again.