Page 9

S leeping wasn’t happening.

There was no fucking way.

Lex tossed and turned in bed for god knows how long before he gave up.

His legs wouldn’t stop moving. Bugs crawled under his skin, burrowing into muscle. His feet skritch-scratched across the sheets until he wanted to rip his goddamn hair out.

He put his hand on Morgan’s cold shoulder. Waited.

No response.

Good. Morgan was completely out.

Standing, he stretched. Cracked his back. His knuckles.

The light was still on in the second bedroom, creeping out from under the locked door.

Lex unlocked it and leaned against the frame .

Ollie hadn’t moved from where Morgan left him—tucked in the corner like a discarded coat. Too scared to stretch out. Still breathing, though. Eyes open. Staring.

Spaced out to hell and back.

“Night owl?” Lex asked.

Ollie’s head jerked over.

“I—I’m sorry.” His voice cracked, rough with hours of crying. “I—I didn’t… did I wake you up? I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

Lex took two steps inside. He shut the door behind him, and Ollie flinched . Hard.

“Chill, man,” Lex said, half-laughing. “We’re not really bad people.”

Ollie’s eyebrows scrunched, like he wasn’t sure if that was meant to be funny.

Lex sat on the bed. He bounced, testing the springs.

The mattress was… fine. Not as good as the other one. Not as soft.

“How do you feel?” he asked after another minute. “Sore, probably. Right?”

Ollie nodded once.

“You want water? Pop?”

Ollie’s eyes moved away from him, down to his feet.

Seriously? It was a yes or no fucking question.

Nothing made a person thirstier than a beating. Unless it was being forced to drink, then beat.That took the goddamn cake.

The old-ass grandfather clock ticked too loud from the other room.

Ollie shifted closer to the corner, knees pulled to his chest .

“Do you know what pisses me off?” Lex asked, more to the room than Ollie. “When people ignore you. You ever do that, Ollie? Ignore someone because you’re just really fucking uncomfortable?”

Ollie looked back to him, eyes huge. “N—no, I—”

“No. You wouldn’t. You’re too nice for that. Right? You’re trying really hard to be good. Right?”

More nodding. Faster now.

Lex smiled. “That’s what I thought.”

He leaned back on his hands, one leg bouncing over the other.

There was too much energy running through him, and zero outlet.

That’s what sounded fun.

His smile widened into a grin.

“You probably don’t remember most of tonight, do you?” he asked. “I mean—besides the club. Maybe some of the beginning. People tend to block the scary stuff out. Our brains try to keep us safe, even when our bodies aren’t.”

Ollie didn’t answer. His throat bobbed. His eyes dropped again.

Lex reached into the pocket of his sleep pants, pulling his phone free. “You’re in luck! I recorded every second.”

Ollie froze.

“You don’t—” Lex paused. For the drama. Blinking furiously. “You don’t remember me recording it? Do you remember me being in there with you at all? ”

Not a damn sound.

Alright. Play hard to get. No skin off my back.

He unlocked the screen, swiping through the four videos he had saved. Fucking files were huge . If there was a compression app that kept the quality without all that transferring—

Nope.

Not the time to get distracted.

“Wow. Almost two hours. A full 110 minutes.” Lex tapped the side of his phone. “That’s like, a movie! A whole feature-length film starring you. Do you know what that means, Ollie?”

Only sniffling.

Lex looked back over and—why was he crying already? Lex hadn’t done anything yet.

Ollie made a sound. Not a word, not a full protest. The kind of noise a person made when they were trying to ask what without actually saying it.

Making his way off the bed, Lex hooked his fingers into the knot at Ollie’s wrists and dragged him out of the corner. Ollie’s foot dug into the carpet, knee bent at the wrong angle like he was desperately trying to stop what was going to happen.

Sad.

Lex moved him to the far wall, pushed hard on his shoulder; Ollie went down. Lex plopped next to him.

“It means ,” he continued. “That you did a good job. Does that make you happy?”

Ollie wiped his face on his shoulder. Nodded.

“Good. That makes me happy, too.”

One more thing to add to that mental list Lex had growing.

“Do you know the thing that’ll make you a better person? Facing the scary stuff head-on. You wanna do that? ”

“I…” Ollie inhaled, looked from the paused video back to Lex. Video. Lex. “D—do I have to..?”

“Kinda.”

Ollie stared at the phone like it might bite him.

Lex pressed play anyway.

Volume low. No need to blast it. The audio was clear enough. That first gasp. The scrape of knees against tile. The soft, crushed sob of Ollie saying I’m trying.

Ollie lasted all of fifteen minutes— seconds before Morgan started laying into him on the video—when he began shaking so hard, Lex’s entire arm vibrated.

“No—no, please. Please. Don’t make me—”

“ Ollie ,” Lex said, firm enough to pass for gentle scolding. “You have to face the real world sometime. It’s not all make-believe and test scores.”

The tears started coming faster.

“I don’t want to—”

Screen Ollie’s cry of pain cut the sentence in half, and Lex saw the real Ollie snap his head away.

Lex didn’t press pause. Just kept talking.

“I could have let Morgan kill you. But you’re here. You’re alive. Now I have someone to watch this with. Watching this makes me happy. And when I’m happy… I like doing nice things for people. Help them. Protect them. Don’t you want me to do nice things for you?”

Ollie sniffled, shoulders shaking as he sobbed. Snot ran down his lip, dripped onto his leg.

“Don’t you want me to keep you alive, Ollie?" Lex asked, a little quieter. " You told me you didn't wanna die.”

If he said no? Lex would’ve had no fucking clue what to do with that. Besides keep it to himself. Morgan would never need to know Lex’s choice was suicidal.

But—surprisingly—Ollie glanced back. Eyes puffy. Face red.

He nodded. “Don’t—don’t let him kill me. Please.”

This night kept getting better and better.

By the time the video finished, Ollie had stopped crying. No sniffling. No shaking.

And when Lex closed the video and glanced over?

There was a whole lot of nothing on Ollie’s face. His eyes though? Those were fucking haunted .

Ollie would remember this for years .

The thought gave Lex goosebumps. Satisfaction skittered up his arms.

Ollie would never, ever forget him.

But when he looked at the time on his phone—his heart dropped into his feet.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Lex couldn’t get out of the second bedroom fast enough. Couldn’t lock the door the way he wanted.

When he finally got back to their bedroom—

Thank god.

Morgan was still asleep .

Holy shit.

He leaned over, hands pressed to his knees. Waiting for his heart to slow back down to a normal pace.

Three-thirty in the morning was… the worst.

For Morgan, not him. Lex didn’t give a shit what time of day it was.

But Morgan? For whatever reason, his nightmares ran on a literal schedule.

And they were terrifying .

Because the person that woke up wasn’t Morgan for a second. Morgan didn’t make those sorts of sounds—somewhere between a choke and a sob. Morgan didn’t shake. But the Morgan that woke up from those things inside his head? That one did.

Sometimes he’d go back to sleep immediately.

Others, Lex spent hours bringing him down. Rubbing his back. Brushing his hair behind his ears. Whispering the most random shit Lex’s sleep-addled brain could come up with.

Waiting until Morgan didn’t smell like sweat. Didn’t taste like salt.

Anything to bring him back.

Lex fucking hated those nights. Wished they didn’t exist.

But he’d never leave Morgan in them alone.