Page 87 of The Moon & His Tides

I wasn’t expecting such a long road trip, but I also wasn’t worried about it as time stretched out behind us. For once, I was not in charge, and I was not expected to perform. I was merely a passenger, driven by a man I trusted more than I cared to admit, even to myself.

Still, I was shocked when we turned off the motorway and passed a quaint painted sign that heralded our arrival in Croyde.

My gaze snapped to Sebastian, suspicion warring with something like unfiltered joy.

“How did you know?” I demanded.

Sebastian remained calm in the face of my snapping energy. “There’s a painting of Croyde Bay in your study beside a photograph of you and your mother on a beach. I don’t need to be Sherlock to tie the two together.”

Air leaked from my mouth like a tire puncture. “Oh.”

“Oh,” he agreed, slowing to turn down the lovely streets of the oceanfront town.

“I haven’t been back here since I was eleven.”

“Well, twenty-nine is a good time to come back,” he declared with a smile as he pulled his sunglasses out of his pocket and opened them with his teeth before sliding them on.

It was ridiculous how sexy I found everything he did.

It was ridiculous that my heart was flapping about my chest like a fish out of water, unable to process how kind and thoughtful a gesture he’d made by taking me here. The site of a clearly cherished childhood memory.

“It’s not the whole surprise, though,” he warned me slyly. “I hope you’re a strong swimmer.”

“Please,” I scoffed. “I grew up in Cornwall. I practically swam before I walked.”

“Good,” he declared. “Because I’d hate for you to drown on your birthday.”

I laughed at him, shaking my head even though his irreverence was one of the qualities I loved most about him.

Loved.

Loved.

Like a best mate, I rationalized a little frantically as he searched for a spot in the car park along the Bay.

Like a man loves a man who is also a friend.

NO, my soul screamed, don’t lie.

Don’t lie like you always lie.

Not about him.

The purest man I’d ever known.

The absolutebestman I’d ever known, truth be told.

I’d had other male lovers.

School at Eton with bumbling boys of a similar age, all hormones and horniness. College at Oxford where experimentation was a widely established rite of passage not spoken of in the bright light of mornings after. In those brief military years, when the fear of getting caught amplified everything to dizzying heights. Gay and lesbian citizens had been allowed to enlist in the British Armed Forces since 2000, but it was still something most soldiers kept hushed up to avoid the likelihood of bigotry.

Then, Savannah, who had suggested our first threesome after I disclosed my membership at a popular BDSM club in London. She’d been addicted from the first. Two men lavishing her with attention was her ultimate kink, and one I was only too happy to indulge her in.

But I’d never had anything like I did with Sebastian.

Not with Gregory in school and not with Bryce in the Royal Armed Forces.

They’d been my friends and Bryce could have been something… more.