Page 34 of The Mistletoe Kisser

He would prefer walking through a gatelike an adult. But he felt certain that the sparkly doctor would judge him for it. “I can handle climbing a fence,” he scoffed.

Gripping the top rail with his mittened hands, he dug the stunted toe of his boot into the chicken wire above a fence rail and climbed up next to her. Gingerly, so as not to crush his balls, he swung one leg over.

She winked. “Look at you being all farmy.”

“Farmy. Just what I want all the ladies—” Something floppy flew at his face, knocking him off balance. “Shit!”

He tipped sideways, mittens clawing uselessly at the wood. The last thing he saw was a wide-eyed Sammy reaching for him. He felt her hands close around his biceps, but he was twice her size, and gravity was already working its magic.

The blue sky and white snow swapped as they toppled off the fence. He twisted at the last second, shifting so his body hit the ground first.

She landed on his chest with the sound of a bagpipe deflating.

Ryan gave serious consideration to just giving up and lying there. Staying down for the count. Waving the white flag. Then he realized that an attractive woman was straddling his hips, and life seemed a little less stupid.

“Are you okay?” Eyes bluer than the sky above peered down at him. Efficient hands patted his arms and torso. From this angle, he could see even more glitter along her throat and wondered what her skin would taste like there. “Did you break anything?”

“Don’t know. Have to wait ’til I thaw out,” he wheezed. He closed his hands around her arms. “Are you okay?”

Snow clung to her, making her look like a mischievous snow angel. “I’m fine. You broke my fall.” She shifted her weight, forcing him to think very inappropriate thoughts as her crotch slid over his.

“What the hell was that?” he asked, hoping the snow bath he was taking would calm the raging erection before she accidentally discovered it under the sweet curves of her ass.

“Chicken,” she said.

He thought for a split second that she was calling him a chicken, wondered if that meant she wanted him to roll her over and kiss the hell out of her. Then the googly-eyed, mangy beast he’d stupidly felt sorry for mere moments ago wandered past clucking.

It paused next to his face and pecked at his puffball.

“I think she likes you.”

“I’d like her better if she came with fries and a dipping sauce,” he said, batting the chicken away.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” she asked him. “I mean, your grouchiness is intact, but I’m worried about your spleen.”

He’d be hard-pressed to come up with a less “all right” moment in his life.

“I’m fine,” he gritted the words out.

“Good. I’d hate to derail my entire morning by running you to the emergency department.” Without warning, she shifted her weight back and down. Accidentally sliding over the exact wrong—or right—spot.

He gripped her hips hard to keep her from moving. But he wasn’t fast enough. He caught the exact moment she realized he was hard under her when those eyes went wide. The friction and the perfect O her mouth formed didn’t help his predicament. His stupid dick flexed shamelessly under her.

“Don’t. Move,” he growled, squeezing her hips harder when she opened her mouth to speak. “Just… be quiet and give me a minute.”

Rolling her lips together, she froze in place and avoided looking directly at him. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to think of unsexy things. Like spreadsheets and googly-eyed chickens.

“So, silver lining. Your equipment still works,” Sammy said cheerfully. “Big life stressors like getting fired can mess with erections—”

“For the love of God, Sam. Stop. Talking. About. My. Cock,” he enunciated.

“Right. Sorry.”

It took longer than a minute before he was certain he’d regained enough control not to throw her under his body and thrust against her like a mindless beast.

“Okay,” he said finally and lifted her carefully off him. She didn’t run away like she should have. Instead, she leaned down and offered him a hand up.

When he was back on his feet, she stayed where she was, his hand still in hers. But her eyes were on his crotch.